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Single? Seeking Spouse? SAMOSA?
jannah
10/16/03 at 04:19:18
I think I should join......


Essays :: Single? Seeking Spouse? SAMOSA?
Have you thought about SAMOSAS lately?

SAMOSAS (Single American Muslim Out Seeking Astounding Supermates) are burgeoning in number across the United States. In today's highly urbanized society and specialized economy, the SAMOSAS are often professional, successful individuals who were (or their parents were) so focused on tests, degrees and careers, that when these were in hand, they began with equal vigor to pursue a spouse.

Unfortunately, there is only one Miss America or Mr. (Sensitive) Universe a year, and usually they are not even Muslim. This fact of life leaves many poor SAMOSAS bitter and frustrated at their single marital status. Many SAMOSAS may turn to reading Cosmopolitan magazine, joining questionable chat rooms online, or eating samosas. This article will help the SAMOSAS make sense of their situation and provide practical tips to keep you out of your local newsletter's gossip column.

We all know a SAMOSAS or two. They are at every Islamic function, particularly conferences, purposeful, well dressed, sometimes engrossed in discussions about the Islamic stock index or their last code blue/crisis/project. They go to meetings with a Palm Pilot or small folder, take notes and refer to the Boston modification to the Roberts Rules of Parliament. Even at meetings with a potential prospective spouse. Hence, the problem. Hence, they are still single.

SAMOSAS mistake the corporate tools of success for tools of marital success. Unfortunately, a matrimonial endeavor doesn't usually have a concise business plan and has many non-tangible markers to indicate its potential. Using a strict business model, signing a marriage contract is foolhardy and extremely speculative, at least without strict legal counsel and negotiation.

Consider these facts about a marriage contract: it is enforceable into infinity, binds a wife and husband in this life and the hereafter, requires sacrifice of body and spirit, creates social obligations for a whole new set of (usually needy) relations, deprives you of certain inheritance items from rich relatives, leaves you at home alone with a potentially deranged or psychotic person (my wife insisted I add this last part). Is it any wonder that SAMOSAS want to do extensive research into their potential prospective spouses?

Sound business sense and clear thinking, however, have nothing to do with a Muslim marriage. Several brief meetings, usually chaperoned, perhaps some telephone time and email exchange, is all that SAMOSAS are allowed to do by religious dictum and culture before the single most important decision of one's life must be made. And SAMOSAS, whose entire beings have been steeped in planning, preparation, analysis are in a state of anomie as they must suddenly take a leap of faith.

Those SAMOSAS unwilling to take such a step are eternally seeking Mr. Abdul Berfect with an M.D., tall, sensitive, wispy goatee wearing, kid loving, cooking enjoying, Noble Prize winning man of the 21st century (with a green card, citizenship is a plus); or the Ms. Wanda Fuhl, astonishingly beautiful, athletic, adventurous, Martha Stewart apprentice, an expert on mowing the grass, a Doctorate in something liberal arts, but not too much smarter than any potential husband.

Alas for such SAMOSAS. Reality appears to be that love, like iman (faith) is something one grows into gradually with persistence and regular effort. A lasting marriage usually requires that one throw away the bean counters and shred documents pertaining to bad productivity quarters. The art of giving, and never tabulating must be nurtured. Once it has been established that there is no way to rationalize the process of love and marriage, it is fairly easy for SAMOSAS to become MMAD (Muslim Married After Delay). Warning: The Surgeon General warns against taking advice on love from a satirical essay.

The Muslim community can minimize the stress to SAMOSAS by easing the strict separation between men and women at public events such as dinners or lectures. Maintaining one way mirrors, closed circuit monitors, and DNA/chromosome checkpoints may ensure that men and women are not distracted by each other at a Muslim event, but what does one do when they go to the grocery store, job, school or park? Psychology studies have shown that most people who like to gawk at the opposite gender (or same gender in some areas) generally prefer beaches, malls, or laundromats, so relax. Controlled interaction of young SAMOSAS in an Islamic environment is simply the best way to ensure the survival of the community.

The situation of SAMOSAS is concerning to all. They want to be MMAD, but their high intensity attitude gives them misplaced expectations. The community wants them MMAD, but cannot provide a forum for them to interact. The solution may lie in going to DISCo. No, not that kind of disco, but the Directed Islamic Singles Counseling (DISCo), where the community embraces the SAMOSAS, recognizes their needs, but is also able to make SAMOSAS see that in marriage, “getting to know him/her,” i.e. past performance, is not a predictor of future results.


Muzammil Ahmed supports DISCos in Michigan
Re: Single? Seeking Spouse? SAMOSA?
gift
10/16/03 at 04:24:55
[quote author=jannah link=board=bebzi;num=1066288758;start=0#0 date=10/16/03 at 04:19:18]Many SAMOSAS may turn to reading Cosmopolitan magazine, joining questionable chat rooms online, or eating samosas. This article will help [/quote]

:-/  what does he mean ??? that eating samosas can't solve every problem :'( :P
Re: Single? Seeking Spouse? SAMOSA?
ascetic
10/16/03 at 18:02:58
ROTFL .. this was funny. I don't know why i found this line the funniest:

"Controlled interaction of young SAMOSAS in an Islamic environment is simply the best way to ensure the survival of the community."
Re: Single? Seeking Spouse? SAMOSA?
Zara
10/18/03 at 11:15:54
:-/

Thats funny, so what do you call a Brit in tha same situation?

:-X


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