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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Islamic marriage in North America ? |
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| Anonymous |
| 10/31/03 at 15:57:09 |
| Dear brothers, assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh I am a German student of Syrian origin who is currently studying here in Toronto/Canada. I arrived here one week ago and right now I am facing a problem which I hope to solve or at least cope with during this holy month. Yesterday I went to the mosque for Tarawih prayer the first time and I got in touch with some nice brothers who recommended me the ?Muslim Guide to Canada?, which led me to this fantastic page. This book truly raised my hope and I decided to contact you and ask you for some brotherly advice. Before I came to Canada I got married in Syria last month. The marriage was Islamic and also legally approved by Syrian law. Everything went fine alhamdulillah. After the wedding ceremony I moved to Toronto for College preparation (mainly language studies at the moment, I need to improve my English , I apologize for my weak English). I am going to start with College here next January inshallah taking a pre-business course for 2 semesters before I proceed with my studies back in Germany íŽ my hometown. After the marriage, my wife went to a Boarding School for Girls in the US, in order to finish her High School there. Due to educational reasons we had agreed upon this temporary separate living until next summer. But of course we had been totally confident about seeing each other at the weekend or at least once a month without any restrictions or problems. Now this had been our plan so far. Reality, unfortunately, turned out to be a little different. As soon as she entered her Boarding School for girls, we suddenly realized an aspect of American Society we had underestimated: Puritanism. My wife is 15 years old and I am 20. This is the main problem we seem to have. According to American law a 15 year old is considered as minor and therefore is not allowed to have a relationship of any kind with the other sex unless her ?boyfriend?, let alone husband (a nightmare for every American!), is as old as her ( a minor). I must add at this point that our sources are American ?friends? and acquaintances. We don?t have any legal evidence for this law/rule/convention. Some people even told us that in my case I even risk being thrown into jail, as I would be considered as a child abuser, because of her age. You can understand that I am very upset about this situation, because we are not able to see each other, even not at the weekend, as a consequence of our insecurity. Especially at the beginning of a good Islamic relationship this situation is not recommendable from the Islamic point of view. Currently both of us are afraid that if I appear at her boarding school and it came out that I am 20 years old, let alone her marital status, her academic career would be endangered as well as mine and we would have to face severe problems. I am only following the Path of our Prophet Mohammad s.a.s, the Sunnah. I had the opportunity to get married at this early age (thanks to Allah who gave my parents the strengh to support me) and I took it. I am no young offender, nor a Casanova who wants to mess around with the hearts of young girls, certainly not. These are some of the questions, which constantly shoot through my head: But how can I convince society here about this? Is there any possibility to inform the school about our marital status without being banned and reported to the police? We are both holders of German as well as Syrian Passports. Shouldn?t it be possible to get our Syrian marriage being legally accepted here or in the States, despite our age? Or should we simply wait until next year, until she is 16 years old and legally allowed to get married in the US? What is the situation really like? Could it really be that "dangerous" to meet her? Should I consider consulting a good muslim lawyer? My hope is that you as (young) Muslims who have grown up or at least have spent a more than just one week in North America, can tell me a little bit more about society here and my rights. With a solid knowledge about where I stand (from the legal point of view), I might be able to go to her school and simply introduce myself as her friend or something (Bccause they would defenitely not accept or even believe that we are legally marriaged!) I would highly appreciate it if you had some advice for me how to handle this delicate issue. Wa salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh Muslim |
| Re: Islamic marriage in North America ? |
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| Caraj |
| 10/31/03 at 18:46:46 |
Forgive me for replying as I know you are reaching out for brothers advice. I am replying because I also got married at 15. But my parents had to sign for me to be married. And because I was under 16 a judge had to approve it. Some states will allow parents to sign under 16 and others you have to have a court / judge approval which in most cases use to be, not hard to do, parents simply tell the judge they agree and why. I am in no ways an attorney and am not trying to give you legal advice just talking from experience. In this country there are 50 states as you know and all 50 have different laws. I think this question needs to be answered by an attorney and will vary from state to state. #1) Do you have a marriage certificate from the country you were married in? I am assuming not all countries require as such. But get all the documentation you can, letters from parents, if an Imam was involved, a letter from him stating so. Take all your proof to to the attorneys visit. Most will give a 30 minute consultation round here they run 50 to 70 dollars. Sometimes he can get permission from a judge without you even going to court. Before the attorneys visit, please be prepared, (as to save yourself time, money and possibly another trip which will cost more money) Take in any and all proof from your country and also have both her parents write and sign a letter saying this has their approval and have it noterized. (Made into a legal paper showing it was really them who signed it.) If your state will not allow it, you may have to just drive your proof to another state. To find a Muslim attorney or any Muslim business in your area please try www.islamicfinder.org I wish you well, protect yourself and your wife, if your marriage from another country is not accepted you may be able to get remarried here, but will need her parents permission. |
| 10/31/03 at 18:50:39 |
| Caraj |
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