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| I'm at my wit's end [Problem w/ husband]? |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/09/03 at 04:33:58 |
| Assalamualaikum I have a problem and I was wondering if anyone else has been there before ? I have been married for 5 years we have 2 children mashaallah but my husband refuses to let me sleep with him on the same bed (nothing wrong with our intimate life alhumdulillah) we used to sleep in the same bed after marriage until I became pregnant with our first child after that my little one used to sleep with me and after I weaned him I became pregnant again now my little one has been weaned and is potty trained so I suggested to my husband that the children are old enough to sleep on their own now and that I would like my bed back (meaning share with him) he had the whole bed to himself for 4 years!! he has sleeping problems and he is saying he can't sleep in the same bed and I said you used to before I got pregnant are their any sisters who share my dilemma I'd love to hear back from you and am I being unreasonable about this ??? wasalaam your sister in Islam |
| Re: I'm at my wit's end [Problem w/ husband]? |
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| Caraj |
| 11/11/03 at 01:43:33 |
| Hello, I noticed there were 82 who read this post and no one answered it yet so thought I would so you didn't feel ignored. I am not sure what to tell you so I will just tell you what comes to mind. First, I sympathize with you as I imagine you are feeling emotionally neglected a hittle. Outside of the marital relations, just being close while sleeping is an emotional need. My heart goes out to you. Maybe you can talk to him and let you know how it makes you feel not to be sleeping in the same bed. I would wait till a good day when there was no stress, be sweet about it, begin sentences like I feel ***(this)*** when we are not I would like ******* Don't use things that begin with WHY don't you We use to and .... You won't Maybe since he is use to his own space you can offer a compremise. Be supportive and mention that you understand he is use to this, explain you have some emotional needs (like being in the same bed as your husband) and then suggest so that you both can get use to it again that maybe the first week one night, second week 2 nights and then every other night, this lets him get use to having someone else in the same bed again. Hope this makes sense. My husband was away 8 1/2 months straight due to his employment. I was so use to sleeping alone that after the firrst couple nights (the honeymoon stage) it took a good month to get use to him being in bed with me again. I felt smothered, woke up to being at the edge of the bed (feeling like I wanted to knock him off the other edge) woke up to finding his elbow in my face. >:( Some nights I would toss and turn so much that I thought I would scream. After being use to sleeping in the bed by yourself it is an adjustment to go back to the way it was. Please be patient with him and for goodness sakes, please, with the next child??? There are baby monitors and even cameras you can see and hear them all for under $100. don't let 2 to 4 years go like this again. Hope this helps. I know you have emotional needs, but he is so use to this, it is something that you may need to allow him slowly to adjust back to. |
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