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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I did sumthing baaad |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/10/03 at 17:19:16 |
| Talk about an unnecessary sin: someone was stuck in traffic and had to email his professor about something urgently, so he called me and dictated the email which i sent off like any friend would. then later on, when i opened my browser again, his inbox came up again, and i saw some emails from someone else who i know (not my business AT all), and i read all of them. i feel really really bad, because i shouldn't have done it. i also told him to change his password, but he said "i trust you." now i feel worse. and the truth is, i would never have read it, can i plead momentary insanity? i cannot understand why i would read them, even if they had such interesting subject lines. the point is, i read some stuff which was not good. really not good. if i confront him, he won't talk to me ever again, which i don't mind so much, since it might be a blessing in disguise anyway. what i mind is that he would hate me forever. even though i should hate HIM, not the other way around. i have been avoiding him since last week when this hppened, and he is becoming more persistent with his attempts to contact me (the project we're doing together prolly has a lot to do with it). how i wish he was a girl, at least girls aren't dense enough not to pick up the fact that i would have read the emails which is why i'm avoiding him in the first place. in a few short emails i found out about a whole other side of his life which is unsafe for me to be friends in -- i.e. girls, drugs, raves, and a lot of lies. i really don't know what to do. i don't even know what i'm asking here. i know he's not been very good company, ever, but i didn't think he was THAT bad. whhhhhhaaaaaaaaat sohuld i do. i did have a tiny crush on him, which should have ended last week (and didnt), but that just makes things worse NOT better, since he told me he liked me, which he obviously does not, judging from the emails i read. one more thing, we don't spend a lot of time together. he only contacts me if and when he needs help with his resume, grad school applications, job applications, money, computer problems, projects etc. so it shouldnt make a difference to me. i know i know, he sounds like a player, and i should watch out. but he's still the smartest most good looking nicest funniest (and most religious, or so i tought) player i know/ thanku. |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| timbuktu |
| 11/10/03 at 22:07:43 |
| [slm] sis, i think you have to save yourself, so you will have to get the "tiny crush" out of you, but tell yourself that you have to be businesslike. In this world we deal with a lot of people who are sinners, & who are bad company, we do not seek out their company & actually avoid it, but for our worldly dealings, if we have to, we do it a way that does not encourage them, but gets the business done. that takes care of the project thing. yes, you did sin, but it has given you an insight into his character, so you won't be caught unawares. make tauba, & thank Allah, & make dua both your protection & him to give up his bad ways. that is my view. waalhu a`lam |
| 11/11/03 at 02:31:29 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| Nomi |
| 11/10/03 at 23:11:22 |
| [slm] So he gave you his password? and said he trusts you and he knew that he had that stuff in his inbox. Player? yep sisi big time player he is!! Its just another game that boys play to attract girls in a "spoiling" manner. Like when a girl will come to know that there *are* other girls who are interested in this guy and stuff like that then one *may* get tempted/attracted towards him. You are stuck in that project with him? can you try finding a female group mate, like by asking your instructor that your timings dont match etc? Its so tempting sis i.e. doing project together specially when the person from opposite gender is tempting you. You say you are still attracted towards him! Here you need to assess yourself as to what you are looking for in a *guy* (muu'an) Are you just going for looks (a player) or *deen* ?? My take is he got you where he wanted you i.e. he wanted to tempt you by making you read that stuff (in a way) dont stretch it anymore sis. "If you'll give satan an inch, he'll rule", keep your distance from that guy. History tells us that at times even the most pious people indulged into major sin, just be careful sis. Think more about Allah and less about that guy, think more about Jannah and Hell and less about that guy, think more about what'll happen to us in the grave and less about that guy.......... And go for deen not the looks, not to say that religious guys arn't charming, i've many dashing guys in my gang :P but i never say it to their face coz we are always in a competition as to who is the coolest :P :P [slm] Your brother PS: Why does he call you and not some male friend of his for his resume, computer etc.. ??? ......... oh i know...... a player !! PS2: again.......... Think more about Allah and less about that guy, think more about Jannah and Hell and less about that guy, think more about what'll happen to us in the grave and less about that guy.......... inshaAllah |
| 11/10/03 at 23:19:10 |
| Nomi |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| lucid9 |
| 11/11/03 at 03:11:33 |
| [slm] silly girl!!! the reason why you should never learn others secrets' -- is cuz them secrets might like totally freak you out. Often: ignorance is bliss. but its not sumthing to poop yur pants about. there is wisdom and good in everything which Allah does -- now matter how wierd that "something" is. now you know you should like stay away from the brother a bit more, and try to give him a bit more dawah. for example, if you can: encourage him to like wake up and pray fajr. guys who pray fajr tend to me a lot more on the straight and narrow. but you should know that there are tons of guys like this, and this is more the norm than not. the unmarried grad student who used to give athan in our mosque turned to be two-timing two british women and one of them claimed he got her pregnant :o :o :o. the guy wasn't evil -- he just had lots of contradictions, an oversized ego which enabled him to believe he could do stuff other folks would crap themselves over, and most importantly he wasn't married. a law of nature that i have learned is: Theorem: [i] Hyper's first law: [/i] Unless married, males whether they be religious or nonreligious, kind or mean, "angelic" or evil, will fool around. I.e. unless acted upon by an unbalanced force (a stubborn wife) a man in motion tends not to stay in motion and on a straight path with the same same speed and direction. Note this is in direct contradiction to Newton's first law which states: Theorem : [i] Newton's first law [/i] An object in motion tends to stay in motion in a straight path with the same speed and direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. so don't worry to much about it. just stay out of his path, and when you do run into him, invite him to good things. however, i would not trust Nomi's sinister theory. i doubt the guy is that machiavellian _______________________________________________________ [i] Disclaimer: as this is advice from a butthead, the advising butthead disavows any responsibility for idiotic things which may follow from following his hairbrained advice. [/i] |
| 11/11/03 at 04:22:57 |
| lucid9 |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| Fozia |
| 11/11/03 at 07:12:00 |
| [slm] Surely it cant be only me email settings, when I read/check an email the ickle envelope beside it either disappears, or the message prompt goes from bold to normal... and yet this ummm 'smartest' was it??? of fellows has failed to notice ::) Wassalaam |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/11/03 at 09:25:54 |
| [slm] I agree with Timbuktu and Nomi, they gave some great advice alhumdullilah. You need to stay away from this guy, he's just bad news. Maybe the fact that all these women are involved with him, makes him more attractive to you, Allahu alam. But its obvious that you are attracted to him, and maybe you feel that you can "change" him and make him a better Muslim. I don't believe that is the case, and your just going to get hurt. |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| Yusufzai |
| 11/12/03 at 04:52:09 |
| To me its sounds like a phase your going through, I mean how can a person be attracted to someone who has loads of women and other problems. To me its enough to put anyone off. I think working with him and being friends is taking its toll, my advice......stay away. |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| yumna |
| 11/13/03 at 11:44:45 |
| [slm]my advice i don't think u'll be needin it that much since bro hanif and bro nomi z advices were way more than enuff ...yes! plz stay away from him ..he seems like MAJOR player trust me we find so many in our college stage don't we? it almost seems funny becoz almost all turn out 2 b palyboys though at a minor stage but i noticed most grow out of it in 3 to 2years time don't they?anyway ..be careful hope that person u talked about mends his ways soon... alrite then MASALAAM |
| Re: I did sumthing baaad |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/15/03 at 00:54:00 |
| update on previous post: obviously, all of you are correct, i should stay away from the guy and as i said before, i know all of this myself. i guess what they say is true: guys and girls can nevr really be friends with eachother. thing is, sometimes you meet people who you know are really good on the inside, but have just gone wrong momentarily. i know, i'm not the person who will set him straight, i don't want to be that girl anyway. but i do wish that someone would reach out to him and show him the door to reality. I guess the best thing to do would be to say a prayer for him, and really cut him out of my life, and i don't think i should have too much of a problem with it, sincee i don't want to be stupid about things. and no, i never considered marrying him -- i just like him, a little. i want to thank all of you, because i feel a little better after you guys confirmed what i was thinking. :) |
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