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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Am I the only one?? |
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| Sunnah_ |
| 11/13/03 at 18:46:33 |
| Salam all. I know everyone has regrets and everyone has been through different stuff in there life. There are a couple of issues from the past that keep bothering me. Every aspect of my life right now is great. The best thing is that I am learning more and more about Islam (my faith is definitely strengthening), and I have no issues in my life now that I have to worry about. I am getting to know a wonderful muslim guy (hopefully leading to marriage) (I posted a while ago about the color of a wedding dress...thanks for the replies by the way...and the congratulations! but I am not getting married! heheh just dreaming, but inshallah soon). Why do past events and actions come back and haunt? I feel like I'm so doomed sometimes, and sometimes I feel great. This has been happening for 5 months,....so much anxiety. I do keep thinking about Allah protecting me and that everything happens for a reason. I guess like many of you, I wish I could go back and change things. I know we can't change things and that's the way things went and were supposed to, but why is it so bothersome still? many years later? even after changing so much within the last few years of my life. I wasn't a bad person, its just that there are many things I wish I did differently and wished I learned "what's right & wrong" earlier on as a kid. Thanks for listening guys. I love this place. Words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. ??? Sis Sunnah_ |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| Caraj |
| 11/13/03 at 19:04:18 |
| Dearest Sister Sunnah, I am wanting to answer this and so much wish I could give you a sisterly hug as I so understand. I too have made many mistakes in my life, some I am not at all proud of and I also once in a while start to think of them. Things I learned: 1) God has forgiven me cause he is merciful, I have just not forgiven myself. If you ask forgiveness and truly repent is God not forgiving and merciful? Yes, of course he is. Many times it is us who has trouble forgiving not Our Almighty. I also sometimes wonder if Satan doesn't like trying to make us doubt God's mercy and forgiveness by reminding us of our past mistakes. Sister, if you aksed God's forgiveness and were truly sincere then it is time to fogive yourself. Humans are not always the example of mercy and forgiveness. Even to our own selves. 2) Always remember, you cannot move forward if you are playing in the past. Think of this, you are walking down the road looking behind you, what will happen? You will bump into something or trip and fall down. You cannot fly an airplane nor drive a car looking behind you. You will crash. Forgive yourself and when you start to look back remember you are moving forward not behind you. I too have this problem and I am filled with regrets of things that happened over the last 20 to 25 years. But also my experiences make me who I am today. I can forgive cause I know what it is like to be forgiven. I can help another cause I know what it is like to be given help. I can love because I have been loved. When doubts and memories get to bringing you down, remember the one who created you has mercy beyond anything we can comprehend. Remember you are moving forward and not backwards. I wish you well and happiness and peace of mind and heart. (((Sisterly Hugs)))) :-* |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| se7en |
| 11/13/03 at 21:58:15 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, this is a beautiful article I just came across.. I hope it is of benefit insha'Allah :) PreOrdainment "No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees-before We bring it into existence." [Surah Al-Hadid – Ayah 22]. The pen has dried, the pages have been lifted: all events that shall come to pass have already been written. "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us." [Surah At-Taubah – Ayah 51.] Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to befall you: If this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardship and difficulty would become ease and comfort. The Prophet Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam said: 'Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship).' [at-Tirmidhi] For this reason, do not feel overly troubled if you are afflicted with sickness, the death of a son, or a loss in wealth. Allah has decreed these matters to occur and the decisions are His, and His alone. When we truly believe in this, we shall be rewarded well and our sins shall be atoned for it. For those that are afflicted with disaster, glad tidings await them: so remain patient and happy with your Lord. "He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned." [Surah Al-Anbiya – Ayah 23.] You will never completely feel at ease until you firmly believe that Allah already pre-ordained all matters. The pen has dried and has written all that will happen to you, so do not feel remorse over that which is not in your hands. Do not think that you could have prevented the fence from falling, the water from flowing, the wind from blowing, or the glass from breaking. You could not have prevented these things, whether you wanted to or not. All that has been pre-ordained shall come to pass. "Then whosoever wills let him believe, and whosoever wills, let him disbelieve." [Surah Al-Kahf Ayah – 29.] Surrender yourself: believe in pre-ordainment, before pangs of anger and regret beset you. If you have done all that was in your power - and afterwards what you had been striving against takes place - have firm faith that it was meant to be. Do not say, ‘Were I to do such-and-such, such-and-such would have happened’; rather say, ‘This is the decree of Allah and what He wishes, He does.’ "Verily, with every hardship, there is relief." [Surah Ash-Sharh – Ayah 6.] Eating follows hunger, drinking follows thirst, sleep comes after restlessness, and health takes the place of sickness. The lost will find their way, the one in difficulty will find relief and the night will follow day. Inform the night of a coming morning, the light of which will permeate the mountains and valleys. Give to the afflicted tidings of a sudden relief that will reach them with the speed of light or with the blinking of an eye. If you see that the desert extends for miles and miles, then know that beyond that distance are green meadows with plentiful shade. If you see the rope tighten and tighten, know that it will snap. Tears are followed by a smile, fear is replaced by comfort, and anxiety is overthrown by serenity. When the fire was set for him, Prophet Ibrahim (alayhis salam) did not feel its heat because of the help he received from his Lord. "We [Allah] said: O’ Fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibrahim." [Surah Al-Anbiyah – Ayah 69.] Those that are slaves of the moment see only misery and wretchedness. This is because they look only at the wall and door of the room, whereas they should look beyond such barriers as are set before them. Therefore do not be in despair: it is impossible for things to remain the same. The days and years rotate, the future is unseen, and every day Allah has matters to bring forth. You know it not but it may be that Allah will afterwards bring some new thing to pass. And verily, with hardship there is relief. |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| se7en |
| 11/13/03 at 22:04:56 |
| salaam, also want to share with you one of my favorite hadeeth qudsi's ::: "O child of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O child of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O child of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it." may the most merciful shade us with his mercy and forgive us our many sins and shortcomings... |
| 11/13/03 at 22:05:58 |
| se7en |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| timbuktu |
| 11/14/03 at 01:39:38 |
| [slm] we are human. we sin. & with Allah's mercy, we repent, & we are forgiven. If we did not sin & repent, Allah would bring a people who do that. It is this characteritic of humans that they repent after sinning that sets us above all other creation. Having sinned, & repented, now we must do good deeds to earn merits. How will we get the highest awards. maybe, we get to paradise, but don't we want to get to still higher ones, the ultimate is Firdaws-e-a`alaa (the highest paradise). & then don't we want to be with the prophet [saw]. if we spend all the time moaning about our past misdeeds, Satan will have won against us. Sometimes remembering our past & crying is good, because it makes our heart soft & ready to atone by doing good deeds. but this should not be too frequent. The emphasis should be to earn more & more merits - the currency of the Day of Judgement. :) i hope it helps. |
| 11/14/03 at 01:41:39 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| islamic_warrior |
| 11/28/03 at 05:55:19 |
| Bismillah Al-Rahman Al-Raheem Assalamu Alaykom Wa Rahmatu Allahu Wa Barakato Sister, why are you so down? ??? On the contrary, you must be happy. :) This experience has given you more Islamic knowledge. This is what is called a ni'meh (blessing) from Allah [swt]. He has helped you to find your path. If this tragedy had not occured, you would have continued to sin. But Allah [swt] has opened up his doors of mercy to you. Just remember, that any tragedy that befalls you in this life, what is referred to as haya-dunya is far better than any punishment on the day of judgement. So this is truly a blessing sister that Allah [swt] has led you astraight. May he [swt] guide all of mankind down the straight path. If Al-Rahman Al-Raheem, the most gracious and most merciful form of existance has showered you with his forgiveness, you can forgive your self. Tobah (repentance)...that is among the best and most difficult things a human being could perform, so be very proud of yourself sister. And may you be rewarded for your efforts. Assalamu Alaykom Wa rahmatu Allahu Wa Barakato Sister AB |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| sal |
| 11/29/03 at 15:55:07 |
| Dear sister sunnah YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY BUT ONE OF US No body is perefect or we would be Angeles . as long as ALLAH promised us he will forgive us if we repent our mistakes means we aboviously make sins .to the contrary he said after some one repents from sins all the past tones of sins are converted to possitive deeds .look at his mercy to keep encouraging his poor creatures that if some one very old in age decides to change the path no matter the remaining few years in his calculation . lets us say he/she is 80 OR MORE , the last minute desire and not even practical job if there is no chance to live after that is enough . we all have commited sins and will but if we are aware ALLAH is there to forgive us then he does Have you heard of this story ? A man with out any good job done in his life at the end noticed he is full of sins .He told his relatives after he dies to burn him and speard the ash in the sea becouse he is afraid of ALLAH so this way ALLAH won't find any thing to punish in the hell . ofcourse he couldn't escape and found himself infront of ALLAH asking him why he did this. He replied, saying, I was afraid how I can face you with all my sins and I thouugt I could escape . ALLAH answered as long as you are aware there is ALLAH that can punish then I forgive you and sent him to the JANNAH and lots of stories similar to this like the man who killed the 99, look at e background of the SAHABAS and what some of them has done . many examples are there to encourage us to start a new clean page . WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AND THE BEST OF THESE ARE THOSE WHO REPENT [wlm] |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| yumna |
| 12/01/03 at 10:53:52 |
| [slm]oo sista don't despair !have faith in Allah He does everything for a good reason! just forget the past a move along u no get going [] 8)! and u'll feel better :-* :-X i no that wasn't much of a consolation but hey worth a try((hugs)))) :-) |
| Re: Am I the only one?? |
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| rajullunyas-aa |
| 12/01/03 at 12:57:05 |
| [slm], my sister i decided that i have to write you this private message after reading your post ''am i the only one''.it is quite interesting because it deals with the problem that a sincere servant of ALLAH must always encounter in his or her day today life.to make it more clear what you are trying to forget about your past is something that you should have been gratefull that you are remembering them,while not discarding the advices of brothers and sisters i think : 1.you have to keep on remembring your past mistakes so that you can be guided againt doing it again: 2.you have to keep on remembring your past mistakes so that you will be contended with your actions which can lead to ''ujbu'' and ''riyaa'' 3.you have to keep on remembring your past mistakes so that you can make more istigfaar in your life. 4.you have to keep on remembring your past mistakes so that you can have more ''nadam'' (regret) and thereby strive to correct the wrongs and do more ''hasanaat''(good deeds) to wipe away the ''sayi-haat'' because ALLAH said ''inal hasanaat yus-hibna sayi-haat''(verily good deeds surely wipe away bad deeds) my dearest sister if we can really reflect deeper we (human beigns) are not capable of doing ''thing that are good only'' because we are not perfect and the only remedy for our imperfection is to oftenly regret and be sober on not only our bad deeds but also on what we assumed to be good so that we can brought our self to account before the of Qiyaama and therefore we can correct and always correct our selves. i have a lot to say but i will love to ask you if you have ever ponder on the path of the sufis objectively and with absolute honesty and sincerity,please let me know what you think of this letter. o pray that ALLAH will continue to show us our bad sides so thatr we can at least use such oppurtunity to guide our selves from getting engaged in to such things again and i also pray that ALLAH will always corver from our sight and awareness what we assumes to be our good deeds so that we will not be contended with ourselves aamen |
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