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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Unwanted attention / Unwanted Looks |
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| Caraj |
| 11/16/03 at 15:02:06 |
| I am hoping to inspire some thought provoking discussions about Unwanted attention and unwanted looks, stares and such. This is sort of a multi subject topic that also ties into one another. (I think) Hoping brothers and sisters will share their thoughts and ideas. Most of you know I am not Muslim, I am searching and learning. Most know I am 42 so not to old ::) But my ideas seem very out dated, old fashioned yet so Islamic. I don't come from a conservative family either. Why do men and women not know how to take NO for an answer? Do they think persistance will win out? Why do people put others in an arkward situation? (I know to get what they want but lets think about it in more depth) Were they not raised to know that NO means NO? Also, I worry about the morals of my country. I wonder why woman like the attentions of men. Many men. Men they have no intension of marrying. They dress showing body parts I don't think anyone but a husband should see. The fad around my area is to have a tatoo put on the small of your back and to wear jeans hanging barely on your hips and a short shirt to expose the tatto. Why??? Is it women like that who make it hard on women who are modest? They seem to have no cares what a man thinks when he is looking at her. They seem to like the attention, want it and crave it and they seem to find it a game to see how many men will look at them. Like a lioness on the prowl but not hungry, just wanting to toy and tease. Even in my 20's I found it arkward and uncomfortable when a man looked at me, not a look but THE LOOK, (women know what I mean) It is not a look that says, I wonder what this woman knows, I wonder if she is a nice woman, a good woman, a fair woman or a smart woman or if she does good in the community or for her family. It is 'the look' of WOW, she's hot wonder what she would be like in the sack. I also believe there are men who find it uncomfortable for a woman to be at work or in a public situation dressed scantily. Why do you think woman dress so men look at them like this? Has their self worth taken a wrong turn? Do they not feel good about themselves that the attention makes them feel better? Do they just like to tease? Maybe it is a game, Maybe all the above ??? I want to be thought of by my actions, my heart and such. It is the way I want my granddaughter thought of. How do we get help the women around us (family, friends, the young woman around us) to find their self worth and self respect in their love for God and their hearts and minds? Brothers are you admiring your sisters, mothers, nieces and and aunts for their ideas? thoughts? desire to learn and do good? Do some cultures make to much fuss when someone puts on something pretty and we are telling little girls, awwwww you look so pretty. Sorry if I am rattling but it is a subject that concerns me. Some of you might remember the thread last year when I told you about my sons first skydive, the whole family was there to see his first jump. (me, hubby, grandma, his wife and his brother and his brothers wife) Anyway one girl in her late teens/ early 20's gets done with her jump, comes in the building and takes off her jump suit (a coverall type thing) to expose hersel in front of atleast 15 to 20 men she does not even know most of them and has on just a bra and what looked like just barely underware :o :o :o ::) Why in the world did she do such a thing? I mean how about a shirt? slacks? How about just going in the ladies room and changing? Why do you think she did it? Do woman like that make it hard on modest woman and that is why we get the unwanted attention and looks? (ok steps off her soap box) How do we prevent these things? How to we help others find their self worth in their love of God, their hearts and minds? What do you all think? |
| 11/16/03 at 15:07:10 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Unwanted attention / Unwanted Looks |
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| Fozia |
| 11/16/03 at 17:48:38 |
| [slm] Probably going off on a completely different tangent but here goes. My friend uses a bus to go to work, she goes at a specific time and generally the people getting on the bus at various stages become familiar as everyone lives in the area and is commuting to work. She said there's this particular guy gets on the bus and makes a point of sitting next to a female, he will then make a point of sitting and staring at the hapless woman till his stop. She said nobody ever says anything... they're too embarrassed/frightened. During summer this guy got on the bus, and there was a young girl possibly 16 but not much older already on the bus, she's wearing a very low cut top, pervert made a beeline for her and sat semi turned towards her staring down her cleavage, she pretended not to notice, but obviously had as she went red, and tried crossing her arms...... It's a game only up to a point I think. In summation, to the undescerning I'm considered opressed for the way I dress. The woman having to bear the unwelcome attention of some ugly pervert on the bus finally sees the truth... perhaps?? Either way, I'm pretty sure the poor girl would have gladly swapped her dress for my jilbab in that situation. There's so little haya in the world, and those who have it are considered strange... Wasslaam |
| Re: Unwanted attention / Unwanted Looks |
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| olive_tree |
| 11/17/03 at 18:39:24 |
| [slm] I am very new to this city of Madinah, and very much enjoy going all the threads of messages. However this story of the 16-yr on the bus got stuck in my head. In the city I am in, in the summer, we have scantily dressed women that come on the bus too (Once even a lady in a bikini top :o ). However my question is, if the 16-yr old in the message above was embarrassed, why does she wear such things? I mean they wear it so men look right? Isn't that the point? or is there a rule that they can look for a particular duration only? :D If they strutt their stuff, they KNOW men will look. Or is the argument that they wear that so that they feel good about themselves? ??? It is my pet peeve coz I see this a lot in summer time and it gets upsetting. Even at work when they come in mini skirts and I can hear the guys making comments between themselves. Even in a meeting I was in, one lady was in a low cut tight shirt. Nobody made any comment at the meeting, but after the meeting, i heard guys that passed by saying stuff. :o I am not on the side of that horrible pervert but maybe, just maybe, he will make her think twice before she wears such low cut stuff again. ok... got that out of my system.... :-) [wlm] |
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