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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I need advice from a muslim......anyone help me? |
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| uksara |
| 11/25/03 at 20:41:55 |
| ??? Im a non-muslim woman who has been going out with a muslim man for a while, I have a daughter, but she isnt the daughter of the muslim boyfriend, infact she is white or (christian) from a previous relationship. I really like my boyfriend infact im in love with him. I have always been very fascinated by Isalm due to the fact that Ive grown up in a muslim community and all my friends are muslims and in order to understand them i have looked into it so im not an alien to their beleifs,rulings,celebrations...etc. My muslim friends say for a "White girl" i understand alot, and i take their religion into account and respect that. What i really want to know is that I know the Quran says that a muslim man can marry and non-muslim woman, if she becomes muslim before the marriage takes place. But my main point is if me and my boyfriend would want to marry, would my daugther be accepted by my boyfriends family??? I would grately appreciate any help or comments on this issue. thanking you....Sara. |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/25/03 at 20:52:56 |
| Hello Sara and welcome to the board. Perhaps you know and maybe you don't know, but Muslim men and women are not allowed to go out and date. A non-muslim that becomes a muslim before the marriage, isn't a non-muslim then is she? :) She's a muslim. Yes, of course your daughter will be accepted by this man's family, why wouldn't they? ??? If you have any questions about Islam, please don't hesitate to ask. |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| uksara |
| 11/25/03 at 21:12:31 |
| i have plenty of questions about islam. What do you think about my situation and be honest......he isnt just my boyfriend he like my soul mate, i wouldnt know what to do with out him. Islam fascinates me as in I want to undertand alot more. At the moment i am reading the english translation of the Qu'ran, i hvnt got far as i want to read it slowy and properly understand it |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| jannah |
| 11/25/03 at 23:31:41 |
| Hi Uksara, Maybe you could visit your local Islamic center? That might be a good thing to check out and meet some other Muslims that can help you on your journey. Also, the translation on this website hasn't been fully checked so might have some typos and stuff and it also doesn't have any commentary or anything. If you send me your address I can send you a Quran that has that if you wish. Take care |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/26/03 at 03:32:37 |
| Sara, There are so many translations of the Quran and they each have their problems (some are better then others) as they are after all translations of the Quran (which is in Arabic and is preserved). Some may disagree with me when I say this, but I think its really good to have a tafsir (explanation) of the Quran, such as the one by Ibn Kathir (it costs about $150 and spans 10 volumes and about 6,000 pages). But I guess a translation of the Quran is a good start, there were many misconceptions I had, until someone explained the verses to me clearer and in what context they were used and a tafsir does that really well. And the books by Yahiya Emerick I had mentioned to you earlier are really good. |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| uksara |
| 11/26/03 at 13:04:48 |
| Jannah, thank you very much. Is the books written in English? I cant read or understand Arabic? |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| uksara |
| 11/26/03 at 13:07:36 |
| Thank you Bahloo, Is there anywhere on the net that sells these books? I live in the UK |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| Fozia |
| 11/26/03 at 13:36:51 |
| [slm] Try http://www.dar-us-salam.co.uk/quran_tafsir.htm it's second from last at the bottom right hand the10 volume tasfeer costs £100, or there's a part 30th which costs £9.50, I'd ring them up and ask if I were you. Alternatively browse the book store they've got quite a few publications for non mulims. BTW I thought I may as well mention, I don't think there's anything strange about a 'white' person knowing about Islam, I know quite a few English reverts as it happens. Wassalaam |
| 11/26/03 at 13:38:52 |
| Fozia |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| faisalsb |
| 11/26/03 at 13:39:46 |
| Welcome to the board sister Uksara. It's really great if you are interested in Islam but my advice is don't base or co-relate your study of Islam with your relationship to your muslim BOYFRIEND. As brother Bhaloo has already mentioned that such relationships are not allowed in Islam and if your boyfriend is in such a relationship after being muslim then there are very little chances that you can expect right guidance and behavior about Islam from him. Although he sounds good and you feel to be in love with him. There are many examples what you can find on this board where women converted to Islam because they were going to marry a muslim man but latter when the relationship didn't go well or they were forced into polygamy then they started doubting Islam altogether. And in some extreme cases they converted back to their old religion. I think that's the worst thing if someone is reverted back to their old religion after converting to Islam. So my advice is please make sure what is your intention behind study of Islam. Since according to Islam it's not the action what is important but the actual intention behind that and our deeds are evaluated according to that. |
| 11/26/03 at 13:41:14 |
| faisalsb |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| AbdulJalil |
| 11/26/03 at 14:59:41 |
| Hello Maybe you could start by reading some or all these books. Most are cheap. They are in the US, but they ship worldwide. I would recommend reading these before reading commentaries of Qur’an, although some might disagree with this approach, and would recommend reading Qur'an first. You choose, or you can do both. "Towards Understanding Islam" by Abul Ala Mawdudi http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b2816.html "Islam the Alternative" by Murad Hofmann http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b2716.html "What Everyone Should Know About Islam & Muslims" by Suzanne Haneef http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b2824.html “Struggling to Surrender” http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b3202.html “Even Angels Ask” http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b3152.html these are websites too : http://www.discoverislam.com/ http://www.whyislam.org/ http://www.islam101.com This is a whole book online: http://www.islam-guide.com http://www.islam-guide.com/more http://www.beconvinced.com http://www.sultan.org http://www.cyberistan.org/islamic http://www.muslimheritage.com |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| jannah |
| 11/26/03 at 14:59:48 |
| Yes It's in English. If you wish to order it you can probably order it from here: Amazon UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0915957760/ref%3Dnosim/litmaniacom/202-4244733-0703028 |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| uksara |
| 11/27/03 at 18:59:48 |
| Thank you all very much for your help!!!!! This site is the best. Been browsing throug loads of other sites and not found any that has given me as much answers and understanding as this one. :-X |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| MIT |
| 11/28/03 at 10:21:50 |
| as-salaamu alaikum Since you have some Muslim friends, why not sit down with one of them and ask your questions? I'm sure they'd be happy to help. Otherwise, if you wish, you can hook up with a colleague of mine and talk to her over lunch. |
| NS |
| Re: I need advice from a muslim......anyone help m |
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| se7en |
| 12/02/03 at 06:06:31 |
| salaam / peace chica, I hope everything is going well.. I just wanted to repeat, don't hesitate to ask us anything that might be on your mind :) you asked for our honest opinions about your situation -- I think that marriage is the most incredible and beautiful bond between two people - a sharing of trust and intimacy, love and kindness - and I think that if you feel that this guy is meant for you, that you guys should get married :) Islam puts a lot of emphasis on marriage, because along with helping preserve and strengthen love between two people, it also makes sure that they have mutual responsibilities and are taken care of by each other. to be *really* honest with you, what I've seen a lot of times is guys getting involved in relationships, but shying away from marriage, because they like being close to someone but don't want the responsibility that comes with it. so.. from one girl to another.. just be careful. in terms of what Islam says, your daughter should totally be accepted into your family and considered just the same as if she were your husband's daughter. the thing is though, due to cultural reasons, or personal reasons, the family may not be as welcoming as they should be. have you met his family? do you get along with them? peace, 7 |
| 12/02/03 at 06:07:34 |
| se7en |
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