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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| wedding planz |
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| se7en |
| 11/29/03 at 18:05:05 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, seeing as I have to start thinking about this stuff.. can you guys tell me about the BEST wedding you've been to? things you've seen at weddings that were cool, things you didn't like.. some things I've been thinking about: -- little bubble bottles on all the tables 8) we had these at my brothers waleema.. -- a niiiiiiiiiiice nasheed soundtrack for audio ambiance :) does anyone know of any good songs / beats to play? -- cool wedding favors.. a sister emailed us at Window On Islam and asked us to send her an mp3 of our show with Sidi Hamza Yusuf.. and she made CD's with it as favors for all her wedding guests! that's such a cool idea masha'Allah :) also a sis was telling me about personalized chocolates hehe.. ;) -- what do the brothers think about that flower niqaab thingie grooms wear on their faces? :P wasalaamu alaykum :) |
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| Luminous |
| 11/29/03 at 22:59:05 |
| [slm] :-*Congratulations Sr. Se7en. :-* When my brother got married earlier this year we made cds with his and her "favorite" surahs. The cd label at the top had their names in arabic intertwined (the same way they were on the invitations) then a listing of all the tracks with the date on the bottom. A cousin of mine gave away dhikr beads and each seat had one of those 2 inch high flower pots filled with candy and a large chocolate heart at the top with their names on the wrapper. Hope this helps. :-) |
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| Tesseract |
| 11/29/03 at 23:15:45 |
| Wa'alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullah, [quote]what do the brothers think about that flower niqaab thingie grooms wear on their faces? :P [/quote] I think u are talking about "sehra" (the one with the 'seen', not with the 'suaad'). I don't even know if that's just a cultural thing, or something from sunnah. Don't know the situation here, but back in Pakistan, its very common to have the caterpillars crawling in them :). That's what I can think about the flower niqab thing :). Wassalam. |
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| yumna |
| 11/30/03 at 10:07:04 |
| [slm]wow that really cool idea for awedding desert princess i like it! |
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| Kathy |
| 11/30/03 at 11:58:29 |
| [slm] As a mother of an active 9 year old boy, I am accutely aware of the mischief and running around like monkeys that the kids do. Even well behave Ali has been known to throw a sock in the chandalier...[i] an embarrassing story..will write as soon as the red clears my cheeks[/i] This summer I was at a graduation party. The mom, having 4 kids of her own, rented a moon bouncing thinging and other carnival type things- and got school friends, non Muslim to chaperone. Alhumdullillah, the kids were thrilled, kept busy and best of all not running and mistakenly destroying! If you are going to have many non Muslim friends come, I think a nice placard describing your traditions and what to expect would go far in dawah... and the best wedding is having me there! tee hee... |
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| UmmWafi |
| 11/30/03 at 13:27:33 |
| [slm] Sis Se7en Some ideas : 1. Wedding favour : You can put potpourri in velvet pouches embroidered with the initials Allah and Mohamed and the pouches can have strings for hanging at the rearview mirror of your car or to hang in a room 2. A nice small box that can fit 2 small bottles of attar perfumes : his and hers scents 3. Thin sandalwood box with mini Qur'an inside 4. Pretty and small jewellery box filled with dhikr beads Hope that helps :) Wassalam |
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| Barkha |
| 11/30/03 at 19:59:47 |
| [slm] [quote] what do the brothers think about that flower niqaab thingie grooms wear on their faces ? but back in Pakistan, its very common to have the caterpillars crawling in them . That's what I can think about the flower niqab thing [/quote] If people are wondering what this is, it looks something like this... ;) [img]http://www.paknet.com.pk/matrimonial/images/sehra.jpg[/img] |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| M.F. |
| 12/01/03 at 07:30:21 |
| Assalamu alaikum sister Sab3a ;) the best wedding I've been to was my sister's. They held it at her in-law's home which is quite big and has a huge yard. It was mainly held outside, except for a ceremony held in the small masjid that they'd built on their land :) A friend gave a very beautiful dars on marriage, everyone was in tears, including the many non muslim friends. Friends from different parts of the world cooked different dishes and it was a sort of potluck thing. They had long bamboo sticks stuck into the grass with ribbon streamers on top. most people sat on blankets on the grass :) It was very simple and the cost came out to about $2000 :) Oh yeah, they had some friends who sang nasheeds too. They know a lot of talented people :) I must say though there were any party favors or anything like that except for really beautiful invitations. And, for any of you people who plan to attend, the best gift is... "the envelope" ;) |
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| bhaloo |
| 12/02/03 at 01:32:09 |
| [slm] I had so much fun at this one wedding, it lasted 4 days. My sleeping schedule was so screwed up. Way too much hangama. Why not make a website and call it: www.shazia-and-arsalan.com And on this website it will have pictures of the hotel and the decoration, maps to the place, a program of the events, guestbook, etc. (I'm sure Jannah won't mind doing it). As for party favors, why not make an audio cd of speeches and well wishes from members of the board. |
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| se7en |
| 12/02/03 at 05:51:19 |
| as salaamu alaykum, ohhh.. jazakum Allahu khayran for all the creative ideas.. *taking notes* please keep them coming! another thing I've seen at weddings is having a camcorder set up somewhere, and guest can go and give brief salaams and congrats. kind of a video guest book.. arshad that's actually a really cool idea, about a wedding website.. at theknot.com, they have something like that where you can work on your wedding budget, your guest list, etc. ps - I was just kidding about the flower niqaab.. hehe poor husband will be tortured enough *after* marriage, why start with the caterpillars? :P wasalaamu alaykum :-) |
| 12/02/03 at 05:51:55 |
| se7en |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| Twilight |
| 12/02/03 at 07:01:56 |
| [slm] [quote author=se7en link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=0#9 date=12/02/03 at 05:51:19]...husband will be tortured enough *after* marriage, why start with the caterpillars?[/quote] :D what u don't want to start as u mean to go on ? (jking) At my friends wedding they didn't have a video diary but a guest book for everyone to write a message on the day to the bride and groom, which was really cute... The other thing that is big here for english weddings (not in so many muslim ones) is to buy disposable camera's and put one on each table so ur guests can take there own pics of the day then when you develop them you will have photos showing their view of the day. Oh another thing is u know when people give the dried dates and nuts and stuff they put them in either little bags (my fave i got was maroon velvet with gold draw-string) or tiny wooden boxes with the names of both the bride and groom on them. Hmm what else - oh i also went from the girls side to a walima this summer and we were all given flowers kind of like a button hole so that the ushers knew that the reserved seating was for us. They even had a selection of colours so they had one to match almost all clothes, it was a really nice touch.. cause if it is someone like me then they can dry them out and keep them as a momento forever... :) well thats just some ideas frm me.... have u decided what colour u r going to wear, cause u could have baloons and ribbons etc to match all round the hall too.... salaams Baji |
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| Ruh |
| 12/04/03 at 21:34:03 |
| [slm] Wow how exciting!! May Allah swt bless your wedding inshaAllah. Now on to the best wedding...Honestly I think the best weddings are those of family and close friends, because you get so involved in all aspects that although sometimes it can be stressful, it becomes a real bonding experience. I personally enjoy the all women mehndis myself. :-* The weddings out here are slowly becoming very extravagant, and incorporating a lot of western traditions, some good some bad. What has been occuring a lot here and is like a "standard" is an outdoor nikkah ceremony on the grounds of the hotel (a majority of weddings are in hotels here now). Afterwards ,the bride and groom take pics, while guests mingle and have appetizers either outdoors or in a hallway in front of the main room. Then after prayer and stuff, ppl get their place cards telling them which table to sit at (yes assigned table seating is becoming a norm now). At some weddings, instead of saying you will sit at table 1 or 2 or whatever, they name the tables. This one wedding that I really enjoyed actually named tables after Suras, and we received little ornamented soaps with our names and the table we were to sit at. After guests enter the hall and sit at their tables, usually the bride and groom walk in together, and there are speeches, pics and all the normal stuff. One of my fav weddings, had a similar format but was not overextravagant. Guests were assigned tables, but there was a clear separation of genders. There was a very cute slide show that friends put together of the bride and groom and pics of them growing up, complete with some video testimonials from family, friends. Then groups of friends came and recounted funny, sentimental moments. Some friends read Rumi poems, or other selections. A local shaykh came, gave some great advice, and sung a very beautiful nasheed. As for wedding favors, I've seen a lot of really cute stuff. One person had a very cute petite chandi pot from Pakistan that they set a Ferrier Roche (sp?? its that one candy) on top and had that at every place setting. Another person had very cute small white boxes that they had put in chocolate coins in, and then wrapped the boxes with the colored theme; so it was like a mini present for everyone. Another had a organza bag with candy along with a poem that the bride wrote. others get pottery and fill them with candy. I personally however really like the "religion oriented" ones. One wedding had again chandi pots with tasbihs that they wrapped in organza with a ribbon; they had a little tag with their names and a request for duaa from their guests. Some ppl have actually donated money on behalf of each of their guests to a local charity. Another thing I enjoyed, but it wasnt a favor from a wedding but from a graduation party, was the parents bought each guest a compilation of duaas book. Also cds of the 99 Names of Allah could be an idea too; there are cute CD paper covers to use for burned CDS. ahh so many ideas! If things get expensive, maybe the favor could be given to each family, not each individual. cant wait to hear how it goes! wassalam |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| Anonymous |
| 12/05/03 at 03:27:37 |
| once at a wedding the bride and groom asked that a donation be made to their favorite relief project. |
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| jannah |
| 12/05/03 at 03:42:25 |
| [wlm] we thought of that but i think that if registry's are a new thing for muslims! so i don't know if they'll be able to figure out how to do that charity thing.. and how many will actually do it?? cause like most ppl can't even send back the RSVP cards..!!!! also unless the new couple has some heavy donations from parentals etc it's gonna be very difficult to start out and do everything yourself.. most couples don't have funds like that and don't have a nest egg for all the things they need to start out their married life with. i think the community should support them and help new couples out in this way so it is a donation!!... |
| 12/05/03 at 03:47:43 |
| jannah |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| deenb4dunya |
| 12/06/03 at 19:32:01 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, Congrats again 7 :P Sorry no suggestions from me.. I stink at this stuff... Speaking of wedding plans... Is it just me or did the husband-to-be dissappear off the face of the board? :-[ Wassalamu Alaikum, Deen :-) |
| 12/06/03 at 19:33:07 |
| deenb4dunya |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| Nomi |
| 12/23/03 at 01:49:39 |
| [slm] [i]Phew... had to dig alot...[/i] Here are some more practical thoughts... A friend got married recently, mashaAllah he comes up with lotsa innovative ideas in everything that he does, so again at his wedding his invites were unique and in addition to that he got names of the invitees printed on them. Sounds simple but you can't have a unique negative for each print right? as it'll increase the cost many folds. So what he did was, he asked the printer guy to hand him the cards after printing them (just the template, like all of us normally do. Ofcourse with balnk space for names) and "before" folding them in shape of an envelope (its a two part process). Then we used his epsom dot matrix printer to print guest's name on each card (HP 810 inkjet failed to!) and handed them back to the press for completion. Crazy right? i agree with you but if you like being unique then thats the way forward. Another good thing was that there was no mehndi gathering (not even segregated) although he looks a "yo man" :P but mashAllah he always strives for more in deen and as there is no proof of "mehndi gathering" from sunnah, so alhamdulillah he avoided it. Those who are for mehndi say that its halal fun, well why not have your fun on wedding day and valima? I mean whats the point in sitting there for the whole time wearing that 10+ pounds dress, hanging your neck and "sharmaing" (for the bride) ??? You wanna have fun with your friends... enjoy it, this is your day.... And why does the groom have to sit there with his handkerchief on his nose and looking at the guests with girlie looks ??? Come one its your day (wedding and valima) enjoy with your friends, why do you need a separate day of "mehndi gathering" for this, knowing the fact that its controversial and have no roots (no proof from sunnah or hadiths). To me it looks like a compromise which makes room for another long list of unnecessary questionable traditions. [slm] ps: Yesterday my cousin got married and the 7 day marathon included two mehndis, one for the girl other for the lad. We dint attend anything except the baraat and valima. |
| 12/23/03 at 01:53:28 |
| Nomi |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| BroHanif |
| 12/23/03 at 07:27:04 |
| Salaams, You could ask some members of the board to sing for yah, that way you can keep the expense down. Instead of inviting Sham or Native Deen, I don't know about bhaloos and Mikes singing though... One of my cousins in Dubai recently got married and she had a special wedding Islamic talk arranged, women only, it added a real importance on the role of marrige, one day before the wedding would be kewl. [quote]Those who are for mehndi say that its halal fun, well why not have your fun on wedding day and valima? I mean whats the point in sitting there for the whole time wearing that 10+ pounds dress, hanging your neck and "sharmaing"[/quote] There are some things as tradition and some women do enjoy this, there is nothing wrong with having it as long as you don't compromise Islam, if its women only and the bride to be does not infringe any Islamic values whats wrong in that?. Don't know about your customs over there but when my wife had hers there were no men present, strictly a womens only do. Salaams Hanif |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 12/23/03 at 22:54:24 |
| [slm] BroHanif, you can sing?! Btw, does anyone know some good wedding nasheeds in English or Urdu? No Indian movie songs please! :) P.S. Deen, it's just you :P |
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| bhaloo |
| 12/24/03 at 01:07:02 |
| [slm] [quote author=BroHanif link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=10#16 date=12/23/03 at 07:27:04]Instead of inviting Sham or Native Deen, I don't know about bhaloos and Mikes singing though... [/quote] I once sang a song in Japanese at work, the audience watching went crazy. And another time in front of some relatives I sang and they clapped, so I can't be all that bad. :P |
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| jannah |
| 12/24/03 at 06:21:48 |
| salam, You can have whatever cultural gatherings, traditions, dress etc that you want at your wedding as long as it doesn't go against Islamic tenets and values. Saying that "there is no proof of 'mehndi gathering' from sunnah" is silly because nor is there any "proof" for having having a walima indoors and not in a desert or whatever. Saying that someone is better in deen for not having a mehndi is ridiculous. We should follow whatever is legislative sunnah and the rest is up to the opinion and norms of the people. So if you want to have a 'bare-bones' nikah and walimah hey that's your choice and if you want to have a thousand person 3 day event because you're a millionaire that's your choice too. |
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| Nomi |
| 12/24/03 at 07:17:13 |
| Assalamu Alaikum [quote author=jannah link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=10#19 date=12/24/03 at 06:21:48] Saying that "there is no proof of 'mehndi gathering' from sunnah" is silly because nor is there any "proof" for having having a walima indoors and not in a desert or whatever. Saying that someone is better in deen for not having a mehndi is ridiculous. [/quote] Why is it that we can't digest it when we hear that someone doing (or avoiding for that matter) something that "we" dont (or do for the other matter) can be high in deen? Is it that we think that we are "the ultimate" in deen ??? Do we celebrate bachelors day as well? if not then why not? do we celebrate "holee"? We obviously dont (keep your fingures crossed till the day i give you the news btw), reason we avoid it is because it was *started* by *others* not Muslims, same is the case with mehndi gathering because it got started practiced by hindus first. Dont believe me? then why dont you see a 'mehndi gathering' one or two days before the marriage in arab countries? Just some food for thought.... [quote] and if you want to have a thousand person 3 day event because you're a millionaire that's your choice too. [/quote] heh it reminded me of something, some 8 years back my cousin had two valimas coz everyone was so much into his first valima that no one kept an eye on the ppl supplying food and as a result few ppl dint get to eat enough and "complained" later ::) ... My uncle got really mad coz he just had one only child (his son). So they arranged a second valima! Moral: If you invite a 1000 ppl then make sure you've got enough arrangements for the class who start fasting a week before marriage ceremonies to eat equal to 5 men on the big day :P. I'm told that surah yaseen helps in this situation too. warm regards your brother. |
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| BroHanif |
| 12/24/03 at 07:58:17 |
| Salaams, [quote]BroHanif, you can sing?! Btw, does anyone know some good wedding nasheeds in English or Urdu? [/quote] In short...I was once singing for Fatimah and my in laws heard me they said whos that...he sounds good thats all nothing too fancy, maybe I could make a special arrangement for you. I have seen something in the shops on Islamic Nasheeds, provide me your addy and I'll send it to you. My early gift to you and 7. Salaams Hanif |
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| readagain |
| 12/24/03 at 10:06:23 |
| [quote author=Nomi link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=20#20 date=12/24/03 at 07:17:13]Assalamu Alaikum then why dont you see a 'mehndi gathering' one or two days before the marriage in arab countries? .[/quote] [slm] actually, arabs do henna couple days or day before the wedding..prbly differ among different countries but i know palestinians do it for sure and syrians..but ofcourse they dont do the same stuff as us desis do... just wanted to say that. :-) |
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| sofia |
| 12/24/03 at 11:12:06 |
| [slm] [quote]...reason we avoid it is because it was *started* by *others* not Muslims, same is the case with mehndi gathering because it got started practiced by hindus first. Dont believe me? then why dont you see a 'mehndi gathering' one or two days before the marriage in arab countries?[/quote] So like, if a non-Muslim invented the car, we shouldn't take on that habit, and just stick to the back of a camel or whatever Muslims ever started out with (the camel, btw, is pre-Judeo/Christian)? So if your traditional outfit was originally worn by a non-Muslim, you wouldn't wear it? And who said Arab women don't have henna gatherings before marriage? SubhaanAllah. We've had this discussion before, and while I don't advocate or condemn a mehndhi ceremony (there are soo many varieties, even), my only point is that we have to be careful what we call (or insinuate) haraam or even makrooh. Any mu'amilaat is considered halaal until proven haraam. Any act of ibaadat is considered haraam until proven halaal. If that usooli principle doesn't make sense to you, start with that, and ask someone knowledgeable, insha'Allah. Then bring your proof; ie, the opinion of a valid scholar(s). And even then, we would only be obliged to take that opinion if there was ijmaa' on the matter (of mehndhis). Allahu 'Alim. I knkw you're not forcing your opinion on anyone, and I don't mean to be belligerent or offensive -- I just think it's important to reflect Islaam in its truest sense and use established usool principles, and not make it difficult for people. I remind myself first. As much as I like to think I'm a-cultural, I'd be foolish to think I'm completely unaffected by the culture of those around me, my parents, etc. Islaam didn't come to eradicate culture (only the disliked/forbidden aspects of any culture that are against Islaamic teachings). Allahu 'Alim. |
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| Nomi |
| 12/25/03 at 00:13:48 |
| [slm] [quote author=sofia link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=20#23 date=12/24/03 at 11:12:06] So like, if a non-Muslim invented the car, we shouldn't take on that habit, and just stick to the back of a camel or whatever Muslims ever started out with (the camel, btw, is pre-Judeo/Christian)? [/quote] With all due respect sis, that was not a very sensible remark! With ppl of your intellect i assume some intelligence to get the point that we are talking "traditions" here! [quote] Any mu'amilaat is considered halaal until proven haraam. Any act of ibaadat is considered haraam until proven halaal [/quote] Thats so true, but again, the point was about adopting traditions of *other*. The thing that i'll look into is that arabs do it! hm... coz that'll shun the thought that it was adopted from hindus. Now i'll ride my camel and shoot inshaAllah ::) [slm] |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 12/25/03 at 08:05:55 |
| asalam alakum, yup the hena party is held in arab countries, they do it also in Egypt. it is all girls and they dress up, have food, music (yes, some consider that haram), and they just dance and socialize. only in the southern parts of egypt do they actually put henna on the bride. in the northern part like cairo, and alex, they don't.... just want to add; i don't know if henna parts are right or not......Allahu alaam |
| 12/26/03 at 12:21:42 |
| onemuslimgirl |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| sofia |
| 12/25/03 at 10:58:43 |
| [slm] [quote] With all due respect sis, that was not a very sensible remark! With ppl of your intellect i assume some intelligence to get the point that we are talking "traditions" here! [/quote] Sorry to offend, bro. The point, if you followed the mu'amilaat vs. ibadaat comparison, was one of assuming a mehndhi/henna ceremony falls under mu'amilaat (which includes "traditions"). So, too, do travel and clothing. Allahu 'Alim. The point was not to attack your intellect, just a reminder to be careful what we (ourselves) assign as "haraam" or "halaal." And I'm also not sure what to make of the idea that if Arabs do something, then it's ok, and they don't, it's not (I'm assuming I missed the point there). Sorry if that's not any clearer for you, and again, no disrespect intended. Peace. |
| 12/25/03 at 10:59:51 |
| sofia |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| Nomi |
| 12/26/03 at 00:09:51 |
| [slm] [quote author=sofia link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=20#26 date=12/25/03 at 10:58:43]The point was not to attack your intellect, just a reminder to be careful what we (ourselves) assign as [b]"haraam" or "halaal." [/b]And I'm also not sure what to make of the idea that if Arabs do something, then it's ok, and they don't, it's not [b](I'm assuming I missed the point there).[/b] [/quote] First off, there isn't much intellect here. Secondly, respected sis, please go through my posts again and quote the part where i said it was "haraam" (its a harsh word you know). And yes you also missed the point there where i referred to arabs, my point was that ppl who dont have any roots in subcontinent dont celebrate henna gathering reason being they haven't been among hindus for as long as we have.... my apologies if im not making sense again. Lastly, with all these heated (so to see) arguments with you respected sisters, please nobody assume that i'm rude or anything. I know full well that by and large ladies are more receptive and striving when it comes to deen. peace inshaAllah. [slm] |
| 12/26/03 at 00:10:48 |
| Nomi |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| FajR |
| 12/26/03 at 22:52:31 |
| [quote author=Nomi link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=20#27 date=12/26/03 at 00:09:51] Lastly, with all these heated (so to see) arguments with you respected sisters, please nobody assume that i'm rude or anything. I know full well that by and large ladies are more receptive and striving when it comes to deen. [/quote] so now can poor, innocent bystanders like myself expect this to be the end of the over stretched mehendi-no mehendi debate? maybe we can try by getting back to the original topic inshAllah, anymore interesting wedding ides ppl? [slm] |
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| bedou |
| 12/27/03 at 01:08:13 |
| [slm] This is really for the hubby's end, but a brother in my area secretly got a white horse, and was waiting outside the bride's house with it. The bride's brother called everyone out, and there he was the "mujahid on a white steed", who got off, went down on his knees, and put on the ring. that's pretty out there, but so worth it :) [wlm] |
| 12/27/03 at 01:09:33 |
| bedou |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 12/27/03 at 21:25:57 |
| [slm] a very fancy wedding i went to had some cool stuff like: 1. beautiful ice sculptures of swans in the entranceway 2. little frames at each table setting w/ the bride and groom's name on it, w/ the date of the wedding. 3. power point presentation of the bride and groom, growing up, how they met, etc. 4. some urdu poetry song about the bride and groom's family 5. the groom came up on a horse 6. the bridge left in this cage like apparatus that some people carried out |
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| Kathy |
| 12/28/03 at 11:38:00 |
| [quote author=Ruqayyah link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=30#30 date=12/27/03 at 21:25:57] 5. the groom came up on a horse 6. the bridge left in this cage like apparatus that some people carried out [/quote] These two images really caught my fancy.... I hate to admit it, being a mach kind of momma, but if my groom came riding up on a horse... I would nearly faint with delight and a fulfilled fantacy! ;-) :-) Then I thought of the horror in my hubby's eyes as he watched grown men goaning as they tried to lift me up in the cage! :P :-/ |
| mabrook.. |
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| princess |
| 12/28/03 at 12:25:43 |
| wa alaikumas'salaam warehmatullah ;D at my wedding, at each place setting i have an 8x11ish card stock with either a poem, verse from the qur'an, hadith, quote about either love, friendship, the beauty of Allah. :) everyone really liked that, alhamdulillah. 8) and i also had the hershey's chocolate labels with a stick figure for a boy and girl, with a heart and the date of the wedding. :) everyone always loves those. :) and who doesn't love chocolate? ;) and if you are doing you wedding in a hotel, the 'ice sculptures' are added into the cost they give you, *usually.* :) |
| 12/28/03 at 12:28:27 |
| princess |
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| Doha_03 |
| 12/28/03 at 19:56:13 |
| [slm] I went to a beautiful wedding where each person got a candle in a jar and on the jar was the name of the bride and groom and a poem about love and marriage. Then when they danced everyone was asked to light their candle and the lights were turned off. Then they cut the cake. It was so beautiful mashaAllah since the lighting was nice and soft. But I was only there for like 30 min, I'm not a party person. Wasalaam, Doha :-) |
| 12/29/03 at 01:58:38 |
| Doha_03 |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| strait-talkin-sis |
| 12/29/03 at 01:24:00 |
| [slm] [quote] Then when they danced [/quote] Was this a Muslim wedding, sister? I hope not....... |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| timbuktu |
| 12/29/03 at 06:08:58 |
| [slm][quote author=Ruqayyah link=board=bebzi;num=1070147106;start=30#30 date=12/27/03 at 21:25:57] 6. the bridge left in this cage like apparatus that some people carried out [/quote] :) that cage-like apparatus is called a "doli", & the carriers were called "kahaar" i didn't think it existed any more in olden days, the higher-class women never ventured outside their house, on foot. They travelled in cages called "paalki", over which curtains were drawn so that the na-mehram would not be able to see the women. In the case of a dulhan (bride), the paalki was called a doli. there must have been differences of style & decoration of these apparatus. I am trying to remember if i ever saw a doli or a paalki, but i can't recall. well, things people do to make them look different :) |
| 12/29/03 at 19:56:11 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 12/29/03 at 19:46:08 |
| ohhhhhhhhhh....br. timbuktu, that sounds really cool...too bad i couldn't find guys strong enough to carry me in it..heheheeh..... doha, was this in an arab country? i went to a wedding this summer that was also in an arab country and they do the first dance with the bride and groom. it totally shocked me, as i grew up in america with our segregated weddings. my poor grandma, was in tears as she saw the groom who was one of our relatives dance. this guy is really religious mashAllah, prayers, and all, but his wife is not religious so she had a lot of non Islamic traditions also in her wedding. he thinks he will change her after they get married to become more Muslim. i just think to myself, "why didn't you just marry someone who is already religious"...reminds me of the Tom Petty song (I don't listen to Music, but I did when I was younger) where he goes: "And all the good girls are home with broken hearts".....well, inshAllah those good girls are going to be rewarded for their patiences with someone 100 X better inshAllah..................... |
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| timbuktu |
| 12/29/03 at 21:55:05 |
| [slm] :) sis onemuslimgirl, they wouldn't have had any problem carrying you, because there would be at least four of them. i will have to confirm whether the cage for the dulhan (bride) was called "doli" or the "paalki", but these cages had two horizontal bars at the top, in the longitudinal direction, & there were from 4 to 8 kahaars. 8, for when there were more women. They usually travelled in twos, with pandaans. ever heard of them? A pandaan had space for keeping paans, & small containers for the ingredients of paan, like ilaichee, kaththaa, chuna (lime), chaalia (betel nut, i think) etc. My mother 's generation couldn't live without them, although my mother has almost given it up, my sisters do not have a pandaan. They may occassionally, once or twice a year, partake of a paan. & at Nikah, they specified how much per month would be paid to the wife for "pandaan ka kharch" (expenses for the pandaan, in other words, the pocket money for the wife). & not only women, but men too, were fond of this paan. They still are. personally i cannot stand people eating paan in public. i have avoided paan, like cigarettes. It is habit-forming. but i do have my vices :) back to the "cage". The kahaars would bring it into the devrrhee (entrance), & step out, the woman (or women) would enter & the curtains drawn, then the kahaars would be caled again, & they would lift up the cage & go. i think below is a song by Lata or Asha: "doli charrh kay dulhan susraal chalee, doli charrh kay" translation: the bride, after climbing on to the doli, is going to her in-law's (house) horrible translation! & the word susraal brings up sentiments that are indescribable in English. :) & yes, i remember seeing doli in my chidhood, & grooms on horses, & the band playing. as a child we would be asked to go see the groom & the bride. what excitement it was then. i wasn't excited at my wedding. didn't put on a sehra, either. just grinned all the way through. much appreciated by all the cousins & other girls who had assembled to see how i turned out. but my bride was lovely. she still is, but now she doesn't want to hear any compliments. says she has grown too old. :( how to make her feel young? |
| 12/29/03 at 23:40:51 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 12/30/03 at 15:00:15 |
| :D :D Sister Kathy you are too funny! I really like the horse idea myself, it really adds to that "storybook" feel of a wedding. Does anyone know how much it would cost to get a horse? Brother timbuktu, thank you for explaining all of that. I never really knew what it was called. That was the first and only wedding I've seen that at. It was neat :) |
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| momineqbal |
| 12/30/03 at 18:46:48 |
| [slm], My uncle went in a paalki too. He was getting married in the next village, so people carried him in a paalki/doli and I went with him (I think I was about 7 or 8 at the time). All the other baraatis walked (about 30 min). I was delighted to be in the baraat, since usually little kids wouldn't go especially if a lot of travelling was involved. |
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| yumna |
| 12/31/03 at 01:01:48 |
| :D [slm][quote]whether the cage for the dulhan (bride) was called "doli" or the "paalki", but these cages had two horizontal bars at the top, in the longitudinal direction, & there were from 4 to 8 kahaars. 8, for when there were more women. [/quote]u people its not a cage!! :-/o Allah UR making it sound like a bride in beautiful bird trapped in a cage don't call it cage yaaar call it doli besides its open it doesn't have bars in it !it just has 4 cylinderical pillars attached 2 it which hold the roof :Du guys......... ::) masalamz |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| timbuktu |
| 12/31/03 at 02:24:22 |
| [slm] sis yumna the horizontal bars, wooden or bamboo, are for lifting up the doli & there could be vertical bars too, to prevent the "bird" from falling ;) i don't think it were just curtains without any support Here is a cross-section: _______________________________ top horizontal bars for lifting | | | | | | | | | | | | vertical bars to prevent the "bird from flying" | | | | | | | | -------------------------------- platform with comfortable seat, a gao-takia (cylindrical pillow) for rest, & a "paandaan" of course belonging to the lady bride needed a saath- wali (companion), as well drawn NOT to scale at least this is what the principle should be. sis se7en: why not have a doli made for your wedding ;) sis yumna, where have you seen it - in a movie, maybe? and to remind you all, it is all from imagination & common sense. i have neither seen one doli from the inside, nor had it described to me, nor read the details. could aks my mother, but she would want o why i am interested all of a sudden, so probably i won't ask. |
| 12/31/03 at 23:57:27 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: wedding planz |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 01/02/04 at 00:39:54 |
Yup Ruqayyah is my girl !!!! :-/ [] |
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