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| Scattered thoughts for Singles |
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| jannah |
| 12/02/03 at 16:18:58 |
| Thought this was interesting.. written by Sister N (modified by me). Scattered thoughts for Singles- Since I joined this past Sunday night, I’ve spoken to a diverse group of people who are seeking marriage. Everyday it’s someone new, with different specs and different qualities to offer. As a married person, I can speak about the subject marriage with a different perspective than single people (95%+) so I’ll take the liberty to do so if for no over reason to relieve myself of the uneasiness that overcame me after hearing about one too many height and eye color preferences. I became a little overwhelmed when I couldn’t keep the information straight (Was it Adam or Nabeel who wants a 23 year old sister who loves kittens, at least 5’6’’, from a Hyderbadi family, with no brothers, and in New York or Jersey? Was it Nehal who said she prefers darker males at least 6’0’’, a degree in culinary arts and no accent? ) Yes, I’m exaggerating and NO, I’m not saying that it’s not okay to have preferences, (Allah knows I did) and my beloved didn’t exactly fit the image I had in mind, but alhamdulilah, I feel SO blessed to have him just the way he is. Couple things to think about: § Look for Deen first, but be open-minded and remember that if the person is honest and has a sound heart, through sincerity and knowledge Allah will make him/her a stronger Muslim. § Get rid of your 101 things I want my husband to be, say, and do because it aint gonna happen. It’s not a perfect world. The only perfect world is Jannah. At the end of the day, it’s the soul, not the body that you’ll want to spend time with and chat with before you fall asleep. § When thinking about what you desire in a spouse, look in the mirror and consider what you have to offer. There should be some level of compatibility in deen, education, appearance, etc. so if you have a 9th grade education and think your going to marry someone with a Masters degree, THINK AGAIN. Your expectations shouldn’t be too low or too high, just reasonable. § Don’t rush into anything. The married people on here would agree that marriage is a test and the same way you walk into an exam overconfident, not taking the time to get to know the material, is the same way your marriage will fail if you don’t TAKE YOUR TIME. § Make Duaa. It’s Allah who grants marriage, no one else, nothing else so turn to Allah. Marriage is such a blessing and it requires A LOT of duaa (try it every night before you go to bed). § Trust in Allah. Consider something you didn’t expect a blessing in disguise. An inane example, today I lost a “How to critique a Poem” handout I designed for my kids last year that I wanted to use for next Thursday’s pre-tenure evaluation. It was perfect and I turned every paper in my bazillion files of lesson materials and nothing! I was frustrated and down until I found an even better one in an unutilized resource book given to me last year. We can all think of major and minor things of which, when we were initially denied, felt a great sense of loss only to realize later that it was the best thing for us. Allah works in ways that we can’t even begin to understand, but we can rest assured that in the end, it WILL work out to our advantage if we simply trust that Allah knows best because he knows us better than we know ourselves, knows what our futures hold, and thus knows who would best suit us in the life long commitment of marriage. And you might be doing everything right, but it’s not your time, you’re going to have to be patient… my dear friend Umbreen sent me a quote last year that reverberates in mind every time I desire something, but don’t get it when I want it- “Allah doesn’t always come when you want him to, but he’s Always on time. THINK ABOUT IT. |
| Re: Scattered thoughts for Singles |
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| theOriginal |
| 12/03/03 at 22:29:55 |
| [slm] Nice quote. SubhanAllah. I like the first point, too. One of my (married) friends told me that she married her husband because he's a GOOD MAN. He wasn't majorly religious before they got married, but BECAUSE he's a GOOD MAN, he turned towards it with a little push from her. MashaAllah they've been married for more than two years now. More scattered thoughts. Wasalaam. |
| Re: Scattered thoughts for Singles |
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| timbuktu |
| 12/04/03 at 01:24:25 |
| [slm] married only 2 years, & he is considred good? i must be the best, married (24 & 3/4) years. although you wouldn't think so if you heard my wife list my shortcomings :) seriously though, she is the best wife ever, for having put up with me. most of us males are, well, difficult John Elia thought he was the most difficult man on earth. I think he had an ego problem. |
| 12/04/03 at 01:31:23 |
| timbuktu |
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