Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

A R C H I V E S

None of my business as yet but...

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

None of my business as yet but...
Nomi
12/11/03 at 02:54:33
[slm]

What would you 'guys' like to be called by our better halves? Some 'guys' dont like being called by their names, is that the case in your culture?

How would you like to be addressed? Here are some options: (cultural)

      * A... G :P (paindu, desi)
      * Sunyay  (desi again)
      * [s]Honey[/s] (oh please!!!!)
      * Dont call you anything and go along with it!
      * Your name

Anyother innovative ideas?
[slm]

ps: How about "munnay kay abba"? :P :P :P :P
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Caraj
12/11/03 at 03:37:06
Nomi you left out a few  ;D

Sir    :o
Master    ::)
Your Majesty     :P

:D    :D    :D    :D  
Re: None of my business as yet but...
ltcorpest2
12/11/03 at 15:16:08
i personally liked being called Michael, the master of space time and existence.  But barring that my wife calls me wubs
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Fozia
12/11/03 at 15:24:48
[quote author=Nomi link=bkard=bro;num=1071129273;start=0#0 date=12/11/03 at 02:54:33]

ps: How about "munnay kay abba"? :P :P :P :P[/quote]


[slm]

Out of curiousity what's the poor woman to call you prior to the birth of munna??


Wassalaam
Re: None of my business as yet but...
anon
12/11/03 at 15:44:56

honay wallay munnay kay abba
Re: None of my business as yet but...
jannah
12/11/03 at 16:54:04
funny...

i find it so amusing that in desi culture ur not supposed to call your husband by his name... i just wonder what DO people call them then???

(btw is that a hindu remnant thing??)

anyway one time at mosque this woman needed to talk to her husband so she went to the curtain and started calling her daughter's name from the other side!!! everyone was like your daughter is right here?!  she's like i know!! i'm calling my husband  :o
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Mohja
12/11/03 at 17:00:57
[quote]
find it so amusing that in desi culture ur not supposed to call your husband by his name...
[/quote]

:o :o :o

Does it go the other way too?
Re: None of my business as yet but...
timbuktu
12/11/03 at 18:58:29
[quote] (btw is that a hindu remnant thing??)[/quote]

yes, it is. & interestingly, at one time it was thought that calling your spouse by name would mean the nikah becomes invalid.

[quote] How about "munnay kay abba"? [/quote]

what if it is a munni & not a munna?

[quote] Does it go the other way too? [/quote]

yes :)

====
but all these comments apply very much to the past. i think these indirect ways of addressing are still in use, but i don't recall hearing anyone like this for a long time, maybe because i move in different circles.
12/11/03 at 19:34:42
timbuktu
Re: None of my business as yet but...
zanfaz
12/11/03 at 22:56:38
[slm]

[quote]find it so amusing that in desi culture ur not supposed to call your husband by his name...  
[/quote]
Yes it is...my other half also does not call me by name...and she is one of the member of this board

[quote]yes, it is. & interestingly, at one time it was thought that calling your spouse by name would mean the nikah becomes invalid.
[/quote]
In one of the lecture I heard(it was in urdu), the speaker was talking about this very same issue. He was telling about an incident about a women whose husband's name was Rahmatullah. And in namaz at the time of salam,  she used to say Assalamualaikum'Falan'KeAbba instead of Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah   :D



Re: None of my business as yet but...
momineqbal
12/12/03 at 01:25:57
[slm],

The comment on it being a hindu remnant, I am not sure if its entirely correct. But even if it is I don't see anything wrong with it. It is some sort of culture I guess and every part of culture isn't bad. Also, some generations back and in some families uptil today, you don't call older people by their names either, it is out of respect for them. So your elder brother you would call as bhaijaan (respected dear brother), or sister as baji, aapi etc. I think same logic applies to husband and wife as well. So again its perhaps a culture thing and might even be from islam and not necessarily a hindu remnant, or maybe something refined by islam, so that while in hindu culture it might be considered bad to call just your husband by name, muslims make it go both ways!

- Eqbal
Re: None of my business as yet but...
panjul
12/12/03 at 01:35:56
[slm]

One of my old aunts kept pestering me about saying my husband's name. Her logic was that I should be resptectful to him and not say his name. I requested that he should not say my name either then & that annoyed my poor aunt even more. I know it's not nice.....but I had fun in Pakistan with my aunt.  This was me: "Khalid can you take me to your sister's house tomorrow? And oh Khalid, also, don't forget to bring my cake. Allah Hafiz Khalid. Khalid--wait, let me fix your tie. Asslamu alykum Khalid."

She left after a week.
12/12/03 at 01:36:40
panjul
Re: None of my business as yet but...
timbuktu
12/12/03 at 01:51:09
[slm] brother momineqbal you may be right, but we have been asked to distinguish ourselves from the non-believers. I think somewhere i told the story of the Meewaatis & the Islam they used to practice.

& sister panjul, first congratulations to your husband for carrying my name.

my wife's colleague looked horrified when she called me "Khalid, will you do this?"

He said: "you call your husband by his name? you know the nikah is invalidated by that".

He was only joking of course.
12/12/03 at 01:52:13
timbuktu
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Nomi
12/12/03 at 02:01:42
[slm]

--jannah
[quote]
(btw is that a hindu remnant thing??)
[/quote]

you mean like "mehndi"? .. um.. bro timbuktu says yes so i'll take his word for it.

--azizah
[quote]
Nomi you left out a few  


Your Majesty
[/quote]

yea sure, "Hazuur-a-wala" will be fine inshaAllah :)

--timbuktu
[quote]
Quote: Does it go the other way too?  



yes :)
[/quote]

hey!! we've got another wifey man here :P :P, btw munna or munni we can still go by "munnay kay abba" as another level of abstraction will be additive plus :)

Seriously, in desi culture we do have more respect for our elders, like we have three degrees to show respect while addressing someone i.e.

[urdu]
 1] tu
 2] tum
 3] aap
[/urdu]

aap being the most respectful word. Addressing someone by one's name when s/he is older than you by around 4-5 years is seldom the case here coz thats considered disrespect, same is the case with "tu" and "tum" ... Do you all agree with this point? If yes then i think bro Eqbal holds a point there.

Since hubbys are mostly older than wifeys then what should be the appropriate way to address them then? or is it just a cultural thingy? (i think yes)
12/12/03 at 02:03:36
Nomi
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Caraj
12/12/03 at 02:44:52
[quote author=Nomi link=board=bro;num=1071129273;start=10#12 date=12/12/03 at 02:01:42][slm]

--

--azizah

yea sure, "Hazuur-a-wala" will be fine inshaAllah :)

[/quote]

I know, I know,
How about  'chota  Gadha'   :D
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Fozia
12/12/03 at 05:53:02
[slm]


Sr. Azizah I didn't know you spoke Urdu  ;D.

BTW who says Mehndi is a remnant of Hindu culture, didn't the Prophet [saw] apply it to his beard, and didn't his daughters use it to adorn their hands??


Wassalaam

PS I call my husband by his name but in a shorter form that I've made up. The in-laws will no doubt be scandalised when I slip up and call him by it when visiting them later this year *sigh* keep me in your duass please so I don't upset my mother-in-law in this or any way....
12/12/03 at 05:55:31
Fozia
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Nomi
12/12/03 at 06:32:43
[slm]

"mehndi" not as in applying it but as a "function". You know, when ladies gather and do their stuff and boys do it separately with the groom!!

[quote author=azizah link=board=bro;num=1071129273;start=10#13 date=12/12/03 at 02:44:52]
How about  'chota  Gadha'   :D
[/quote]

what!!!! I dont believe it ...!!!!!

It cant be sis azizah!!!!! Hey is our litle admin bhaloo behind all this?? Come out bro, why are you hiding behind a lady like a CHICKEN :o :P

12/12/03 at 06:35:11
Nomi
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Caraj
12/12/03 at 13:59:20
[quote author=Nomi link=board=bro;num=1071129273;start=10#15 date=12/12/03 at 06:32:43][slm]

what!!!! I dont believe it ...!!!!!

It cant be sis azizah!!!!! Hey is our litle admin bhaloo behind all this?? Come out bro, why are you hiding behind a lady like a CHICKEN :o :P

[/quote]

Nomi, I give you my word, bhaloo has nothing at all to do with this. Not at all. Just never underestimate the power (or sneakiness) of an old lady  :P

geeeee what I wouldn't of given to see the look on your face when you read that   :-/    :-/    :-/    :-/  
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Maliha
12/12/03 at 15:08:54
[slm]
umm..can i just say something that bugs me...if you all *insist* on breaking the Rules (yes you too Mr. admin!), on speaking in this foreign tongue, then can you please *translate* for us poor linguistically challenged folks ???

i wanna be in on the jokes too...not fair :'( :'( :'(

*sniff* man, y'all even recruited azizah onto ze urdu ball now...sigh.
[wlm]
Re: None of my business as yet but...
timbuktu
12/12/03 at 21:05:04
[quote author=Nur_al_Layl link=board=bro;num=1071129273;start=10#17 date=12/12/03 at 15:08:54]  can you please *translate* for us poor linguistically challenged folks ???

i wanna be in on the jokes too...not fair :'( :'( :'(

*sniff* man, y'all even recruited azizah onto ze urdu ball now...sigh[/quote]

i think you are very right. The rule should be that a translation of the sentence or phrase should be provided with the "foreign tongue".

We can also have two sticky topics: one for teaching arabic to us, the other for teaching urdu to non-urdu-speakers.

a Q for educationists of the English language: are two hyphens allowed in a word, as above?
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Nomi
12/13/03 at 01:29:39
[quote author=azizah link=board=bro;num=1071129273;start=10#16 date=12/12/03 at 13:59:20]
Nomi, I give you my word, bhaloo has nothing at all to do with this. Not at all. Just never underestimate the power (or sneakiness) of an old lady  :P
[/quote]

The reason i STILL dont believe that it came from sis azizah is that in "angraygee" ppl mostly use the word "fool" or "dumb" and even if someone look their meaning up it'll be words like "baywakoof"; "pagal" and i dont think that any online dictionary will give you "gadha" as the urdu equivalent. So i think it was someone else and not you.

Wait a minute... i recall now.... is that from your other "pure" paki contact?!
anywho (heh... angraygee).... thanks for the diss :)
12/13/03 at 01:33:14
Nomi
Re: None of my business as yet but...
AyeshaZ
12/14/03 at 03:23:19

ha ha ha  :-/

This is just tooooo funny for me!! ha ha yelling out the daughter's name!! ha ha

munnay key abba is totally wack!  :D
Re: None of my business as yet but...
Barr
12/14/03 at 09:16:31
[wlm] warahmatullah,

In my culture. traditionally one would address someone older with a title, regardless of kinship too.

And that applies to husbands as well... like

Abang - which means "dear".
Funny thing, it also means "older brother", when used in a different context. So.. I'm very careful about who I call "abang"....

The older generation may find it slightly rude if we do call our husbands by their names.. but that's phasing out. Rarely would anyone give you a disapproval look, if you do so.

Another funny thing that I noticed in my culture is how nice sweet name-calling like "dear", "hon", "love" which married couples would call each other ... would evolve to "mommy", "dad" when they have chidlren.. and "grandma", grandpa" etc, when they have grandchildren... and I'm like.. huh? ???

Anywho :)
Wassalam
Re: None of my business as yet but...
wahdamuslimah
12/18/03 at 03:41:17
asalamualaykum...i dont think i should be in here but i just wanted to add that i really like 'hayati' which means 'my life'


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
A R C H I V E S

Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © Jannah.Org