Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

A R C H I V E S

muslim social networks aka naseeb.com

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

muslim social networks aka naseeb.com
buL-buL
11/10/03 at 22:32:56
[slm]

get connected!

http://naseeb.com/

[wlm]
01/14/04 at 10:14:56
jannah
Re: muslim social networks
BlessedToBeMuslim
11/26/03 at 07:24:15
Enlighten as to what this exactly is... A dating site for muslims?  matrimonials?  Surely there must be hoards of free-mixing here and not all would be "dawah" relatd, though I haven't tried it myself.

Anybody want to write a review or something?

Take care

Wassalamu Alaikum,
Uzer
Re: muslim social networks
jannah
11/26/03 at 15:03:32
[wlm]

Personally I think it is what you make of it. If you use it as a matrimonial place that's what it is. If you use it as a social thing to make new friends that's what it is. If you use it to "mix" that's what it is.

The thing is I don't think people should judge it as a whole because the framework infastructure is there and then people use it how they will. And you can't really judge the whole population's intention there because everyone has a different one.
Re: muslim social networks
pakiprncess
11/27/03 at 02:54:31
[slm]
i agree with sis jannah... i actually met a nice group of people. 2 educated me on how to perform istekhara and one other enlightened me on education in london. but youre right, blessed, one hasta be careful.. there are some people on there with totally different trains of thought than perhaps myself.  as long as youre aware of this though, i think theres no harm in the site.  plus they have the cutest lil icons to represent oneself!! hehe, why not have fun with it?
11/27/03 at 02:54:49
pakiprncess
Re: muslim social networks
momineqbal
11/29/03 at 00:36:32
[slm],

It would be interesting if someone did some research on how the early generations of muslims and our great scholars got married or sought to get married. If we want to follow them in other aspects of life, we should probably strive to do the same in this sphere of life as well.
Re: muslim social networks
theOriginal
11/29/03 at 01:08:50
[slm]

I'm on that thing too...what a waste of time, really.  Without even doing anything, I'm connected to 112 people, which really makes me think about how small the world REALLY is.  

But really, that site is absolutely hilarious.  

Point being, there is way too much in this world that muslims need to worry about.  I don't know if being a part of that naseeb thing, or commenting on people being a part of that naseeb thing is really one of those things we need to be wasting time conceptualizing.  

So isn't THIS site another one of those places as well?  

I talk too much.  As a way to hold on to my Ramadan goals, I'm going to quit right there.  Ignore all of the above.

Wasalaam.
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
11/29/03 at 01:58:53
[slm]

[i] my previous post [/i]
[code]
The image on the main page is "interesting". But then its only a "Muslim" network.

One thing that i would like to highlight is that "many" ppl who consider themselves religious (and are religious) are illuded by the internet, they dont realize that interaction among non-mehrams over the internet should be the same as in real life.

Alhamdulillah i was able to convince few ppl in the past, all thanks to Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala
[/code]

[i]new post[/i] [modifying]

[quote author=JustOne link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=0#5 date=11/29/03 at 01:08:50]
So isn't THIS site another one of those places as well?  
[/quote]

how?

"majority" of ppl come here with deen as the main purpose its not the case with the other site!
11/29/03 at 02:36:03
Nomi
Re: muslim social networks
pakiprncess
11/29/03 at 02:22:14
[quote author=Mecca Survivor link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=0#6 date=11/29/03 at 01:58:53]
ppl come here with deen as the main purpose its not the case with the other site![/quote]

hmm... like i said in MY quote... "there are some people on there with totally different trains of thought than perhaps myself" which can also be used for this site.  who knows what the other guy/gal is thinking?? only Allah knows best.
Re: muslim social networks
jannah
11/29/03 at 04:42:37
[quote author=momineqbal link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=0#4 date=11/29/03 at 00:36:32][slm],

It would be interesting if someone did some research on how the early generations of muslims and our great scholars got married or sought to get married. If we want to follow them in other aspects of life, we should probably strive to do the same in this sphere of life as well.[/quote]


Hmm bro even if we wanted to our environment/society is completely different. We know there is a problem right now of epidemic proportions with young Muslims getting married in the US.  Hence 20,000 members in 2 months from mostly US & Canada. At least someone is trying to come up with a way for Muslims to make new friends, network or get married.  How people use the service is really up to them.


[wlm]
11/29/03 at 04:43:02
jannah
Re: muslim social networks
bhaloo
11/29/03 at 13:32:09
[slm]

[quote author=JustOne link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=0#5 date=11/29/03 at 01:08:50]
So isn't THIS site another one of those places as well?  
[/quote]

OMG, they have an Urdu contest? ???
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
12/01/03 at 00:16:51
[slm]

[quote author=pakiprncess link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=0#7 date=11/29/03 at 02:22:14]

"there are some people on there with totally different trains of thought than perhaps myself"[/quote]

If you ever go to mIRC->Undernet-> #Pakistan, ask them that you are looking for a man named "Hard2Hit" and they'll tell you that the guy was always on a train to "cheechu key mallain" while the others on a locomoto. to North Pole!

But i used to switch trains every now and then as a part of my "gorilla dawah-fare" to bring ppl one by one to my "arena" and then talk. Most of them really abhored me and OPs used to kick me like a soccer ball.

Last time i got kicked was a month back (yep i'm "dheet" as anything) when my dawah-script was ON and inspite of various coding checks an OP mistakingly recieved my islamic message and asked me to turn it OFF. Told him that we are "good friends" and the script is harmless but he insisted, told him that "plz dont kick me i've got weeping kids at home" he just had a big laugh along with rest of the room and kicked me ::) (a million and one kicks to date)

Moral: You'll always find ppl on totally different train of thoughts everywhere, usually they are known as "morons" by a large majority (not all) of them, at places like mIRC etc.

One way that i can think of for internet matrimonials to work is men getting to know men and women getting to know women and then from their links and contacts in their communities finding a match for the one in need.

[slm]
Easy2Hit @ mIRC
12/01/03 at 00:20:27
Nomi
Re: muslim social networks
theOriginal
12/01/03 at 23:50:56
[slm]

Oh come on now...it's what you make it.  Seriously, I didn't know I was remotely connected to 131 people (see how the numbers grow?!).  It's like that movie "Pay it Forward"...and then I get some random chick from DC messaging me and saying "OMG!  You went to SAIS-R, too!!! OMG like when'd you graduate?  OMG I remember YOU!!!  OMG like WOW!"  That's a nice feeling, I'll be honest.

As for the language contest...like uh huh yeah!  We're having one there, too.  Except this one's in English.  And this one's with this 38 year old dude who thinks I'm looking for a "sole" mate.  I tried convincing him that my shoes are nicely paired up, but he persists.  So we keep the game up.  Hey at least I get hysterical laughter out of it.

As for finding matches on the net...Come on!  Are you for real??  That stuff doesn't REALLY happen.  I know people think it happens...but it doesn't really.  No one wants to be telling their grandkids that they met their spouse on naseeb.  ew.  And there are so many dangerous things happening when it comes to the world of zawaaj, why in the WORLD would you increase the probability of getting married to a nut?  Just the other day, this guy at school was telling me how his sister's husband sent her home on the night of the walimah because she didn't bring a padded pocketbook with her.  Fo' sheezy!  I think we need to start a marriage log.  I know tons of amazing sisters, but ... I have faith that you can complete that sentence all by your lonesome.

Wasalaam.
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
12/02/03 at 00:26:39
[slm]

My sis all of us should assess our own selves! I know i'm not the right person to say this as i'm the weakest in imaan but we should learn good from whatever source it comes from...

[quote]
So we keep the game up.  Hey at least I get hysterical laughter out of it.
[/quote]

Probably there is a fine line between having fun and .... flirting .... probly some of my posts sent out the same impression to those out there with more taqwa. So i say sorry to them and ask forgiveness of Allah swt

[slm]
[s]okay guys you can hit me now[/s]
Re: muslim social networks
theOriginal
12/02/03 at 00:37:14
[slm]

Astaghfirullah brother.  For starters, that sentence was in good humor.  Secondly, I really did tell him that my shoes are nicely paired up.  That was my real response.  If he thinks I was flirting (gag reflex kicks in just about now), well, golly gee, that's a little odd for me to comprehend.  Furthermore, maybe I misrepresented how many times I corresponded with that guy (once), but whatever.

Really, I might come across as a comic, but I do have a serious side, and I try my best not to cross lines.  I don't need to prove myself, and I hope you don't expect that from me, either...however!  Especially on the net, when someone starts bugging you, you have the upper hand of anonymity, and I choose (yes it'a a conscious choice) not to take things to heart, and to react towards them dismissively.  Perhaps that is my fatal flaw.  But I think it works.

Wasalaam.  
12/02/03 at 00:38:14
theOriginal
Re: muslim social networks
bhaloo
12/02/03 at 01:04:11
[slm]

That reminds me, I had so much fun these last few days, but I was so wasted, my sleep schedule was so screwed up.  A friend I have known for a while got married and there was a mehndhi, shaadi, valima and a lot of good food.  I even gave a speech.  It started off kinda slow, but then it took off.  Like for an opening line I said I was asked to do a speech and I asked my mom what to do, she said, "do a stupid dance".  I was a little nervous giving the speech so I forgot the next part of the speech which was, I don't know if she was commenting on my speaking abilities, my dancing abilities, or a bit of both.  But then I settled down and did well on my speech, I received a lot of compliments.  :)  

p.s.  JO, ya know its possible that some people on here don't know the difference between "sole" and "soul"  *cough* *cough*.
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
12/02/03 at 01:33:19
[slm]

Speaking of delivering a speech, my elder bro delivered one in the masjid during ramadan. He is beginning to impress me now. Just 3 years of continuous religious study and he quotes ayahs and hadiths off the cuff.

[quote author=bhaloo link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=10#14 date=12/02/03 at 01:04:11]
p.s.  JO, ya know its possible that some people on here don't know the difference between "sole" and "soul"  *cough* *cough*.[/quote]

um... these poor desis know nothing....... but i'll have a go at this one

** soul mate is your spouse? (not sure)

** and "sole mate" is......... um.......... good thing you dint pay heed to your moms advice and danced, otherwise you would have definitly *received* some *soles* followed by their *mates*

ahem... *cough* *cough*



ps: sis JO, no heart feelings inshaAllah?
Re: muslim social networks
theOriginal
12/02/03 at 09:21:45
[slm]

[quote author=Nomi link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=10#15 date=12/02/03 at 01:33:19]ps: sis JO, no heart feelings inshaAllah?[/quote]

No hard feelings whatsoever...

A soulmate is a kindred spirit, ideally your spouse, but not necessarily.   And a solemate.. haha.. now come on!  where's the fun in defining it?!

Wasalaam.
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
12/03/03 at 01:18:31
[slm]

More on shoes [url=http://www.muslimprofessionals.org.uk/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&t=68][color=Blue] Nomi and Friends [/color] [/url] ... (oops another single liner. Bear with me sis Jannah, just 14 more to go!)

[slm]
Asim Zafar

ps: back in days me wanted to have an arab soulmate. Sounds cute when you dont know each others native language and use some foriegn lang [s]free arabic classes[/s] heh... but parents have more right on you!
12/03/03 at 01:22:04
Nomi
Re: muslim social networks
se7en
12/04/03 at 11:05:59

as salaamu alaykum,

[quote]um... these poor desis know nothing....... but i'll have a go at this one

** soul mate is your spouse? (not sure)

** and "sole mate" is......... um.......... good thing you dint pay heed to your moms advice and danced, otherwise you would have definitly *received* some *soles* followed by their *mates*

ahem... *cough* *cough* [/quote]

:o  hahahahaha... arshad got dissed

two points br. nomi..

salaam
Re: muslim social networks
bhaloo
12/04/03 at 20:04:50
[slm]

Maybe someone helped him out? ???  Nomi do you know what 420 means?
12/04/03 at 20:06:32
bhaloo
Re: muslim social networks
Nomi
12/05/03 at 00:33:37
[slm]

[quote author=bhaloo link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=20#20 date=12/04/03 at 20:04:50]

Maybe someone helped him out? ??? [/quote]

Ans: Allah

[quote author=bhaloo link=board=media;num=1068521577;start=20#20 date=12/04/03 at 20:04:50]
Nomi do you know what 420 means?[/quote]

inna lillah........... Did you actually dance??? and is that the *sole* count? :P :P :P :P ..... lol

[i]me better stop here, dont wanna get banned b4 1000th heh [/i]
12/05/03 at 00:35:55
Nomi
Re: muslim social networks
jannah
01/08/04 at 10:35:36
wow talk about a review.. :D

     
Halal Singles.com

By Safia Hussain for Divanee Magazine (http://www.divanee.com…coming soon!)

Naseeb. If this word hasn’t come up in at least some of your conversations with other Muslims recently, you must have been living in some remote cave in the Appalachians for the past few months. I’m serious. Ever since the Internet program was launched on October 20th (yes, in 2003- seems like it’s been around forever, hasn’t it?), it’s become maddeningly popular among us young Muslim people, reminiscent of Napster in its glory days. Even those who resisted so adamantly in the beginning to Naseeb and its non-Muslim cousin, Friendster, have begun to cave in, frustrated by how clueless they are when it’s the topic of every conversation like the finale of Friends. And you know it’s a really big deal when aunties have started to get online, braving the frightening world of PCs and modern technology because of their eager curiosity to see what the youth are up to these days and fascinated by the site’s possibilities.

Just what are these possibilities you might ask? Endless procrastination, for one. As addictive as heroin, according to one of my friends, Naseeb is an instant cure for boredom and an all-too easy way to avoid any kind of productive work. Where else do you have access to information on nearly 30,000 Muslims, who are for the most part in their twenties? It’s certainly a euphoric experience for any busybody or stalker, and is also a valuable tool for networking, the purported raison d’être for the website, according to its brainchild and current CEO, Silicon Valley Internet entrepreneur Monis Rahman. He says on the site that Naseeb is “an online community that connects young, educated, professional Muslims through networks of friends.”

Networking, huh? You know exactly what that word means when you’re at a company holiday dinner, but unless you’re a Salafi-type literalist, “networking” can take on a whole array of definitions in other contexts. For most of us Muslims, networking is a sly way of referring to matchmaking and meeting people in general, for that purpose. Founder Rahman himself even said recently on a chat forum, “There is an amazing new trend on the Internet. Matchmaking. Millions of people have come online to find their soulmates in the past 5 years.”

Predictably, we have come a little late to the online dating1 party à la Muslim Standard Time. Granted, certain websites like shaadi.com have been around long enough to be somewhat stale now, but unless you're in search of that coveted greencard or playing a mean joke on a friend, these sitess aren't trendy enough to advertise being on. It could be that shaadi.com and its kind were never going to be cool, but it could also be that associating oneself with a website whose explicit purpose is to match potential spouses is too much for us to handle at this point. The more subtle matchmaking/meeting friends-with-potential! route is much more appealing and now there's a growing collection of websites serving this purpose just for us Muslims. In addition to Naseeb, several other websites have cropped up like MuslimMatrimonialsNetwork.com (say that ten times!), muttaqun.com, Muslimmatcher.com, ISNA matrimonials online, TwoMuslims.com, FilHalaal.com, and the list goes on.

Despite the apparent growing popularity of online spouse-hunting, there are only a few who admit to doing that on Naseeb, often couching their intentions in well-meaning, but altogether sappy terms. Heck, even Rahman himself says that he is looking for his soulmate. Now if that doesn't show a CEO's faith in his own product, I don't know what does! (Isn't it ironic, though, how the founders of both Friendster and Naseeb are attractive, accomplished and intelligent single guys who are still single, despite the spectacular success of their websites? If they are still single in the next few months, there is definitely no hope for the rest of us.) In general, it’s refreshing to see such openly stated intentions: Like witnessing a crazed soccer fan running out onto the field in his birthday suit, there’s something oddly admirable and yet also socially reprehensible about this reckless abandon and indifference to vulnerability that few of us cou! ld ever muster within ourselves. I have only one word for these courageous souls: Bravo!

The vast majority of us still fiercely guard our dignity, pretending to just be someone looking for more friends, because, gosh darn it, we’re such nice people and we want to acquaint ourselves with every other Muslim in the country and that's all that Naseeb is for, as far as we're concerned. Right, and that's why we signed onto a website with the melodramatic name “destiny.” Not very convincing given how few of us can even stomach such oozing excess of feeling in Bollywood movies, if even then. Another excuse I've heard is that “everyone’s doing it.” (The oft-repeated jumping-off-a-bridge analogy comes to mind.) But just like going to an MSA dinner, we all know what’s really bringing in the masses, and it ain’t the food!

Yet most of us aren't ready to fess up yet, even to ourselves, hence the thriving popularity of the inane "Looking for Friends and Activities Partners" reason for being on Naseeb. I suspect, as I'm sure most of you do, too, that this excuse is just a cover for our true intentions. No one wants to be seen as guilty of something as distasteful as shameless self-peddling. Those who are really anxious of being viewed as such resort to the “Just here to help my friends meet each other” excuse, as if haughtily shouting “ha! I’m not selling myself like the rest of you!” in a fit of emotional self-preservation.

Now, we can continue fooling each other that we don’t have a clue what’s going on, or we can call a spade a spade, if you will. And in doing so, we needn’t allow our squeamish-4th grade-cooties maturity level overtake us, either. I mean, seriously, given how limited our options are in this country, what with the fact that most of us don’t date, many of us go to colleges where MSAs are very segregated or people are just lame, our families back home are the Muslim population for a radius of a hundred miles, we don't want an arranged marriage, etc, we need to deal with the fact that new ways of meeting people is vital for the survival of the American Muslim species.

Most of us girls at least should by now have realized that to wait for a prince as our fairy tale heroines do is no longer practical, or even desirable, given the current selection of princes in the world today- from philandering British stiffs to their likewise morally dubious Saudi counterparts, there’s no point holding onto a childhood fantasy here. Even knights are falling far short of our previous expectations (Mick Jagger? ‘nuff said). That it's gotten to the point where many of my single girlfriends are convinced that cool single Muslim guys are all in hiding, or worse, nonexistent, makes you wonder, what gives?2 And if that doesn’t convince you that this online matchmaking isn’t all that bad, TwoMuslims.com even assures viewers on its homepage that searching for someone online is "respectable." So there, no need to feel so weirded out about this business.

Of course, we now no longer even need a reason to be on Naseeb given its exponential growth from a few hundred when I first logged on opening day, to its current membership tally comparable to the population size of a small city. (If anything, you would now need a reason not to be on Naseeb.) There’s nothing like safety in numbers to guise our self-conscious, lumbering search for “that special someone.” Okay, fine, so not everyone on Naseeb is hell-bent on finding their soulmate. Some are on it “just for fun” (or, like me because this is one of the few unblocked non-news websites at Merrill Lynch). No matter the reason for behind their being on it, though, tens of thousands of users have made Naseeb the current online hotspot for the Muslim crowd, if there ever was one.

And just like at any other single-and-mingle hotspot, it’s apparently open season on female singletons, particularly those in their early twenties who have dared to post a photo of themselves in their profile. Whatever naiveté existed before, at least for sisters, ought now to have been fully washed away by the onslaught of unsolicited salaams and even proposals that fill many a mailbox. “You’ve got mail,” the brown man announces in an exaggerated desi accent, smiling unctuously like a knowing Mr. Collins-type character, as you log into your mailbox. If you’re a girl, you fearfully anticipate receiving another request to “be the friend” of a man 15 years your senior who either has failed to gracefully leave behind his younger days (which could indicate severe psychological problems and so you should stay well away), or who is searching for a wife far younger than himself (which is unacceptable by our standards today, and so you should, on! ce again, stay well away).

That’s mean, I know. I do feel sorry for such individuals, but I find it disturbing and a bit violating to receive a rishta from a man old enough to be my father. It is likewise repulsive to receive instant messages asking “how r u sexy?” on a Sunday morning from someone who has the nerve to think that you would appreciate this unbelievable lack of adab and flat out uncoolness. Perhaps one of the most rampant nuisances, though, is getting that mailbox-plaguing “salaams” from a guy you don’t know.3 Many sisters are wary of such accosting, given the occasional profile deactivation, or, more commonly, removal of o! ne’s profile photo. Others, like myself, tolerate it, amused and flattered. (There’s definitely something to be said for the guilty pleasure of being stalked.) Some of these emails are also vastly entertaining, giving Naseeb a whole new worth. I once received an email from a character known as Phittycent whose picture of himself was none other than Al Pacino from Scarface and whose message to me was in broken ebonics with slight fobbish undertones. Priceless.

In any case, the question of what qualifies as proper manners in these situations is worth considering. Like getting a salaams from a greasy looking character on a dark street corner, you are not sure how to react- Are you supposed to reciprocate or just pretend you didn’t hear and run away? (figuratively, of course, running away from a computer is a bit foolish). Given the fact that this website is for Muslims, the likelihood that this guy is some crazed freak is reassuringly slim, but he could still be weird in other ways or plain old annoying and see your response as a green light for harassing your inbox. You don’t know if it’s even okay to feel flattered because it could be from someone who is mass-salaaming, sending an Islamic shout out to any sister in a given age range within his vicinity. It can be even more tricky when the salaams is from someone who is distantly connected to you because you’re not sure if it’s socially acceptable to p! olitely ignore him and yet you also want to avoid sending the wrong signals. Some of my friends respond to every salaams, some blow them all off, and others pick and choose, depending on how cool the other person seems. It’s a tough call every time, and the protocol is moot.

From an Islamic perspective, the question becomes even more pressing. How does adab play into this virtual matchmaking realm? Muslims are fairly new to these online dating fora, and so the issue has not been adequately addressed yet. As online matchmaking becomes more popular, though, we must ensure that we "are part of a group of sheep and not wandering alone, easily able to be devoured by wolves" as the Muslim organization Muttaqun Online dramatically puts it. A website apparently geared towards a particularly stringent crowd of Muslims, Muttaqun Online offers its own guidelines for adab on the Internet. It discusses how participating in these matchmaking websites or even chat rooms online in general poses a problem because it often means illicit mixing of the sexes without the presence of a mahram. In the opinion of the website, private chatting between men and women on the Internet can lead to inappropriate discussions. The bypassing of the wali is another issue it laments as detrimental to the Muslim online meeting scene. While I do not usually subscribe to opinions that are so rigid, there are valid points to consider here. In the end, though, we definitely need some Internet-savvy sheikhs (preferably someone more legit than Mufti Maybe)to step up and offer some fatwas for halaal etiquette on these sites.

It's no surprise, of course, that there is, once again, a generation/culture gap between where our religious leaders are coming from and where Naseebers are. I know I'll personally die of shock if my imam ever brings up Naseeb in a khutba. But maybe he should. I mean, clearly, things are changing amongst "the youth" in the marriage circuit. The fact that the ISNA lobby scene has shifted to a new, year-round virtual home on Naseeb was perhaps inevitable, but it is a fascinating development all the same. In fact, when ISNA matrimonials went online, it sort of established that placing an ad in the back of Horizon magazine is maybe no longer a good way to find a suitable spouse. An online halaal meat market offers so much more possibility than such obsolete strategies. Plus, it's more fun, hip, way less stressful and given rapidly developing technology, it makes sense. It also has the added advantage of bypassing the dreaded interference of matchmaking-hungry aunties, who must now be throwing a fit over how harshly their position in this process has been usurped.

So how does Naseeb compare to those other online Muslim matchmaking websites? It's much cuter than most of them, offers neat features like those testimonials, and is infinitely more popular, so you can meet more people (duh). Most importantly, it's free, unlike all these other sites, which have fees for at least some of their services. But even for Naseeb, there is definitely room for improvement for it to truly serve the purpose of helping people "meet" that special someone or even make a "new friend" (right…). From what my cheapskate self could peruse on these other websites without pulling out my credit card, I noticed some features that Naseeb may want to consider ad