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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| For a hard heart |
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| tahirah |
| 01/05/04 at 21:06:40 |
| [slm] My eyes are dry and my heart is hard...who can help me soften my heart. I am always trying to start some act of 'ibaada or increase my knowledge but I dont seem to be able to do anything consistantly. My iman seems to drop the most during school breaks, when I'm away 4m halaqas, or good friends, and everything that is good at my school. But also when I'm at school I fall into a rythym and things start to loose most of their effect. What's to be done? I think I need some serious tazkiyyah or I'll stay in this cycle? Anyone has some advice? ma'a salaama |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| timbuktu |
| 01/05/04 at 21:54:02 |
| [slm] do you remember the story of some sahaba (run) (i think they included Umar & Abu Bakr), who found their hearts were soft and full of akhira's thoughts when they were with the prophet [saw], but were involved in wordly affairs when they were with their families. on asking the prophet [saw], they were told that if their hearts stayed the same as when they were with the prophet, angels would come and shake hands with them. zikr, and the remembrance of death and akhira makes the heart soft. |
| 01/05/04 at 21:55:15 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| se7en |
| 01/06/04 at 04:01:59 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, these are some links from the old board that have really beautiful and penetrating advice: [url=http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=masjid&action=display&num=6618]these hearts are vessels[/url] [url=http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=masjid&action=display&num=3952]counsel of sidi ahmed zarruq[/url] also here are some notes on ikhlaas I typed up a while back: http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=masjid&action=display&num=3425 I hope they are of benefit, insha'Allah. may Allah enliven our hearts. wasalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah |
| 01/06/04 at 04:03:05 |
| se7en |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 01/07/04 at 01:06:41 |
| [slm] If you can get yourself to read the Qur'an, there is no better remedy for softening the heart than it. Otherwise, read a book on death, or listen to a lecture on the same topic. Or read the Book of al-Riqaaq in Sahih al-Bukhari. May Allah (awj) help you and me, and the rest of us, to soften our quloob and fill them up with imaan. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah |
| Visit the Graveyard ....Re: For a hard heart |
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| SuperHiMY |
| 01/07/04 at 01:17:57 |
AsalamAlayKum, Peace and e-greetings be upon you.... Get in your car. Drive to the Muslim Graveyard closest to you. Say Fatiha over the headstones with names you can read in your language. Don't leave until your eyes become waterfalls. Think of someone that is ALIVE and that you love... what if they died right now? What if you hadda lead the Janaza prayer for them? Keep thinking about this until your heart starts beating very fast and you are scared to death yourself. Your heart will be hard no more. That is what I do when my heart is hard... And here is where I go: http://gregsgallery.tyo.ca/yorkcemetary Salam, ~ HiMY! ~ |
| 01/07/04 at 01:21:46 |
| SuperHiMY |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| jannah |
| 01/07/04 at 01:35:07 |
| w'salaam wrt, when we were younger at various myna and msa camps they used to take us to a graveyard and have a talk about dunya and akhirah. out of the entire programs those experiences are what i remember most and what most had a profound effect on me. we tried to organize something like that here for the youth but of course it got shot down by the establishment. but make the effort to go on your own inshaAllah, it's definitely worth it or just go somewhere naturey alone with a Quran or dua book...it like fills up the empty place in ur heart for awhile. |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Halima |
| 01/08/04 at 03:36:12 |
| [slm] There is nothing that softens your heart faster than visiting the grave yard. And what moves me more each time I visit is the greeting at the entrace: Asalaam Alaikuma Yaa Helu Qabuur! Plus the Dua you recite for them. And the pouring of water on the grave(s). Also, see a deformed child. Your heart will melt and all your problems will become so insignificant that you will say Tauba Yaa Allah. May Allah soften you heart. [wlm] Halima |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 01/08/04 at 15:56:04 |
| [slm] [quote author=Halima link=board=madrasa;num=1073354801;start=0#6 date=01/08/04 at 03:36:12] And the pouring of water on the grave(s).[/quote] Check with a knowledgeable person in your area regarding this practice. As far as I know, it is a bid'ah, yet a pretty common practice in certain parts of the Muslim world unfortunately :( Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh |
| 01/08/04 at 15:56:29 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Ayla_A |
| 01/08/04 at 19:20:52 |
| [slm] I am a bit confused here, maybe I don't understand the background in this. Why would visiting a graveyard make your heart soft? Could someone help me out :D [wlm] Ayla_A |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| AbdulJalil |
| 01/10/04 at 21:19:45 |
| Assalamu Alaikum these are ahadith A hadith from Hanzalah al-Usayyidee who said 'Abu Bakr met me and asked, 'How are you, Hanzalah?' I replied, 'Hanzalah has become a hypocrite.' He said, 'Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah)! What are you saying?' I replied, 'When we are with Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) he mentions the Fire and the Paradise until it is as if we can see them. But when we leave the Prophet's company and play with our wives and children or busy ourselves with our properties, we forget much.' Abu Bakr said, 'By Allah, I have experienced the same thing.' He and I then went to visit Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and I said, 'O Messenger of Allah! Hanzalah has become a hypocrite.' He asked, 'And how is that?' I replied, 'O Messenger of Allah! When we are with you, you talk about the Fire and the Garden until it is as if we can see them. Then we go out and play with our wives and children and deal with our properties, and we forget much.' The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) then said, 'By Him in Whose hand is my soul, if you were to continue at the same level at which you were when with me and in remembering Allah, the angels would shake hands with you when you are resting and when you walk about, but, O Hanzalah, there is a time (for this) and a time (for that).There is a time (for this) and a time (for that).There is a time (for this) and a time (for that).(Reported by Muslim.) this one is very important to keep in mind Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: "The most beloved of deeds to Allaah is the one that is continuous, even if it is little.” |
| 01/10/04 at 21:25:10 |
| AbdulJalil |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| tahirah |
| 01/20/04 at 15:48:59 |
| [slm] jazakum Allahu khair everyone for their response. I will try to impliment what I can insha Allah. I have actually never been to a Muslim graveyard....or seen a dead body(in real life) or anything like that, but I know that I need to. [wlm] |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| timbuktu |
| 01/20/04 at 18:27:37 |
| [slm][quote author=Ayla_A link=board=madrasa;num=1073354801;start=0#8 date=01/08/04 at 19:20:52]Why would visiting a graveyard make your heart soft? Could someone help me out :D Ayla_A[/quote] when one visits the graveyard, one sees all, irrespective of their station in life, or their possessions, like intellect, beauty, health, power, money, ...., whatever, in the same earth, unable to do anything for themselves, and facing the consequences of what they have done in their lives on Earth. it is the remembrance of Death that makes the heart soft, and graveyards remind one of death. |
| 01/20/04 at 18:31:59 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 01/21/04 at 13:58:12 |
| [slm] Oops. I accidentally deleted Anonymous's post while trying to respond to it :( I apologize. The anonymous post was warning people from propagating the idea of visiting graves. The brother said it was a form of shirk to visit the graves, and then mentioned a couple of ahadith to support his view. My response to the brother is, as his own post also elucidated, that it is not shirk to *visit* the graves, but to worship them (including invoking the dead for aid, etc). The Prophet [saw] himself used to visit the graves, as the anonymous brother himself mentioned in the post. He would stand at the feet of the grave and greet the dead and pray for them. And this is precisely what the brothers and sisters are recommending the people to do when they visit the graves. Wallahu a'lam. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah |
| 01/21/04 at 13:59:05 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/23/04 at 00:40:19 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I was the one who wrote earlier regarding the shirk of worshipping graves. Your response does not satisfy me. I fear some of the posters do not think as you do and it would be irresponsible to let this opportunity pass with seeds of disbelief being planted. [quote]Say Fatiha over the headstones with names you can read in your language.[/quote] In which of your parents cultures has this come from? This is not from al-islam. I know there are many cultures which perform these rites but this should not be the way of the muslims. Whom are you reciting the surah for? Are you worshipping god, worshipping the contents of the grave, worshipping god for the grave? This is a very dangerous act and it is clear from the actions of the prophet Muhammad sallalahu 'alayhi wasallam, that the muslims should avoid such things. In the beginning, he would refuse the muslims from visiting the graves. Are you so comfortable that you have the experience of the sahaba that you would not be wary of visiting graves let alone carry out these actions that are truely innovations? Wallahu a'lam [quote]Don't leave until your eyes become waterfalls.[/quote] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 2, Book 23, Number 375: Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Ubaidullah bin Abi Mulaika: One of the daughters of 'Uthman died at Mecca. We went to attend her funeral procession. Ibn 'Umar and Ibn Abbas were also present. I sat in between them (or said, I sat beside one of them. Then a man came and sat beside me.) 'Abdullah bin 'Umar said to 'Amr bin 'Uthman, "Will you not prohibit crying as Allah's Apostle has said, 'The dead person is tortured by the crying of his relatives.?" Ibn Abbas said, "Umar used to say so." Then he added narrating, "I accompanied Umar on a journey from Mecca till we reached Al-Baida. There he saw some travelers in the shade of a Samura (A kind of forest tree). He said (to me), "Go and see who those travelers are." So I went and saw that one of them was Suhaib. I told this to 'Umar who then asked me to call him. So I went back to Suhaib and said to him, "Depart and follow the chief of the faithful believers." Later, when 'Umar was stabbed, Suhaib came in weeping and saying, "O my brother, O my friend!" (on this 'Umar said to him, "O Suhaib! Are you weeping for me while the Prophet said, "The dead person is punished by some of the weeping of his relatives?" Ibn Abbas added, "When 'Umar died I told all this to Aisha and she said, 'May Allah be merciful to Umar. By Allah, Allah's Apostle did not say that a believer is punished by the weeping of his relatives. But he said, Allah increases the punishment of a non-believer because of the weeping of his relatives." Aisha further added, "The Quran is sufficient for you (to clear up this point) as Allah has stated: 'No burdened soul will bear another's burden.' " (35.18). Ibn Abbas then said, "Only Allah makes one laugh or cry." Ibn Umar did not say anything after that. Volume 2, Book 23, Number 376: Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Once Allah's Apostle passed by (the grave of) a Jewess whose relatives were weeping over her. He said, "They are weeping over her and she is being tortured in her grave." Volume 2, Book 23, Number 377: Narrated Abu Burda: That his father said, "When Umar was stabbed, Suhaib started crying: O my brother! 'Umar said, 'Don't you know that the Prophet said: The deceased is tortured for the weeping of the living'?" Volume 2, Book 23, Number 378: Narrated Al-Mughira: I heard the Prophet saying, "Ascribing false things to me is not like ascribing false things to anyone else. Whosoever tells a lie against me intentionally then surely let him occupy his seat in Hell-Fire." I heard the Prophet saying, "The deceased who is wailed over is tortured for that wailing." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This action of softening the heart by visiting graves is not from the sunnah of the prophet. It is a great bidaa'. Remembering deformed children? You are surely seeking some demented psychosis. Please stay away from these actions and warn others of them. Also, I did not say that the prophet visited graves. I said that when he came across them. I am not aware of any instance when he journied for the purpose of visiting a grave. Wallahu a'lam. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anas (ra) said: The Messenger of Allaah (sas) said: "Remember death within your prayer because when a man remembers death in his prayer is strives to beautify his prayer and pray the prayer of a man who does not think that he will perform another prayer after it. Take caution and and an excuse is sought for every affair." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As people have pointed out, rememberance of death during prayer brings about khushoo, but perhaps it is the rememberance of one's own death and mortality, that is being pointed out here, rather than replaying morbid gruesome scenes within your mind. There is no evidence to my knowledge of necessity of visiting graves, crying for the death, pouring things over graves, beating of chests for the dead, etc. I warn myself and yourselves against doing this. Wallahu a'lam. Your brother in islam, 'abd allah ibn 'abd allah |
| 01/23/04 at 00:48:19 |
| jannah |
| Re: For a hard heartxAbu_Hamza |
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| xx |
| Abu_Hamza |
| 01/23/04 at 01:08:01 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| jannah |
| 01/23/04 at 01:05:30 |
| slm, bro abdullah there's nothing wrong with visiting graves as long as you don't commit shirk while you are there (shirk like worshipping the graves). the hadiths you mention are all about the pre-islamic jahaliyya practices of wailing that they used to do -- not specifically about going to graves. also we should remember that before the prophet [saw] left this world, he deliberately went to Uhud to visit, where there is nothing except the graves of the Shaheed of Uhud. there are specific duas we should say when we visit graves and certain practices which are respectful, like not stepping on top of graves. why would all this legislation exist if this practice was shirk! anyway, you can ask a scholar for more details on what exactly is 'shirk' to do when u are there inshaAllah. as for your calling the act of visiting the graves "bidah". i find that perterbing coming from an obvious student of knowledge like urself, as no one said going to the graves is an act of worship or rewardable. however, it does soften the heart as does a lot of other things. for example, if listening to tapes, an obviously permissible thing, makes my heart soft and makes me a better muslim and i suggest it to other people it would be rather silly to call that a "bidah" since it doesn't fit the definition either. |
| 01/23/04 at 01:09:27 |
| jannah |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| timbuktu |
| 01/23/04 at 01:07:29 |
| [quote author=Anonymous link=board=madrasa;num=1073354801;start=10#13 date=01/23/04 at 00:40:19]Assalamu alaikum, I was the one who wrote earlier regarding the shirk of worshipping graves. ...... There is no evidence to my knowledge of necessity of visiting graves, crying for the death, pouring things over graves, beating of chests for the dead, etc. I warn myself and yourselves against doing this. Wallahu a'lam. [/quote] OK brother, i agree with most of your posts. weeping is not allowed. saying Fatiha is also not allowed. in fact reciting the Quran is forbidden in two places - the bathroom and the graveyard. pouring water or laying green twigs has a justification, i think, from a Hadith. Visiting is not the same as worshipping, and visiting graveyards to remember that your day will come has been encouraged, again in Hadith. I won't be able to give the reference, but i think i have read these in Sahih hadith. Our bros and sisters on this board are masha`Allah quite well-versed, and i hope they will either correct me, or give supporting references. ________[_________________________________________________ wow, while i debated with myself to post or not, bro Abu_Hamza and sis jannah gave very lucid replies. so my reply becomes redundant. Still, to let bro abdullah know that we should not forbid ourselves what has been allowed, i add my voice. |
| 01/23/04 at 02:12:04 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 01/23/04 at 01:30:56 |
| [slm] Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips has a nice little booklet titled [i]Hardening of the Heart[/i]. You can read it online here: http://www.sunnahonline.com/ilm/purification/0042.htm Here's an excerpt which also responds to the concerns that Br. Abdullah has raised: [color=black]The Second Way — Remember Death The second way is that we remember the Hereafter, to remember our death. The one thing that we are one hundred per cent certain of — even if we have some doubt as to whether there is really a God; even if we wrongly wonder if what we are practising is really the truth when there are so many other people doing so many other things — is that we are going to die. But our lives are such that we become so occupied with the things of this life that we forget that we are going to die. As Allah said, the gathering of wealth has deluded them to the realities of life and they only come awake when they end up in their graves. [At-Takathur 102: "The mutual rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world) diverts you (from the more serious things), until ye visit the graves. But nay, ye soon shall know the reality…"] This is a fearful statement, that we should live lives unconscious of our deaths and thereby be lost in trivialities, things that are really ultimately not going to benefit us in the next life. Consequently, Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam had said, "I used to forbid you from visiting the graves in the early part of Islam. But now I command you to visit them because they serve to remind you of the next life." ["I [once] had forbidden you from visiting graves, [and I now enjoin] you to do so, so that the visit may serve as a beneficial reminder." (related by Muslim and others)] [Al-Haakim’s version : "… for [such visits] soften the heart, bring tears to the eyes, and serve as a reminder of the Hereafter, [but be careful] not to speak forbidden expressions [i.e. while visiting]." (Sahih al-Jaami' 4584)] To go to the graveyard, reflecting on the state of those in the grave (not necessarily of your relatives alone). As the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam said, "The grave is either a garden from the gardens of Paradise or a hole from the holes of Hell Fire." There are people in the graves who are calling out for help but there is no one to help. When Munkar and Nakir come and ask them, "Who is your Lord?", "What is your religion?", "Who was the Prophet that was sent to you?", they will be unable to answer!" [Volume 2, Book 23, Number 422: Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, "When a human being is laid in his grave and his companions return and he even hears their foot steps, two angels come to him and make him sit and ask him: What did you use to say about this man, Muhammad ? He will say: I testify that he is Allah's slave and His Apostle. Then it will be said to him, 'Look at your place in the Hell-Fire. Allah has given you a place in Paradise instead of it.' " The Prophet added, "The dead person will see both his places. But a non-believer or a hypocrite will say to the angels, 'I do not know, but I used to say what the people used to say! It will be said to him, 'Neither did you know nor did you take the guidance (by reciting the Quran).' Then he will be hit with an iron hammer between his two ears, and he will cry and that cry will be heard by whatever approaches him except human beings and jinns."] This is not something we can memorise in preparation for the questions, because it is not a matter of not knowing, but that we will be incapable of answering as part of the degradation of that life. We know that the answer is the key for the next life, but we cannot use the key. We don’t have access to it because it never entered our hearts in this life. If it did not enter our hearts in this life that Allah is our Lord and that Muhammad is our Prophet and that Islam is our religion, then that knowledge will not benefit us in the next life. So we are encouraged to visit the graves and on that basis, this is not unique to men, for the benefits that come from visiting he graves is not unique to men. This is why some scholars argue that visiting the graves is not prohibited to women, but that it is the frequent visits that are prohibited, due to the sensitivity of their nature. Hence not regular visits, but to go from time to time as they need the reminder just as men need the reminder. Allah describes those, in the Quran, who when they reflect on the Hereafter, are affected. It affects them in the nights. "They slept little in the night and in the hours before dawn, they were found seeking Allah’s forgiveness." They wake up in the night with the remembrance of the life to come — the trials of the grave and the Judgement to come. These lead them to get up from their beds at a time when sleep is so sweet. Brothers and sisters, let us reflect on that life to come. Let us reflect on the process after death; the process in dying itself — how the souls are taken from the bodies of believers, as the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam said, "...like water dropping from the spout of a bucket."; but for the disbelievers, "...like silk being drawn over thorns.", tearing away. That soul that fears Allah is taken in the next life up into the Heavens and the angels of the Heavens will praise it. It will return to that body and a Garden from Paradise will be opened up to it and it will lie in that state till Resurrection. But for those whose hearts have hardened towards the remembrance of Allah, the soul will be barred entrance into the Heavens. It will be thrown back into the body. Their evil deeds will come before them as a horrible creature and they will suffer torments. A widow from Hell will be open and the heat will be over them until Resurrection. And what happens on the Resurrection, when we stand before Allah and answer for each and every deed that we have done, when nothing escapes Allah, when the things that we have in this life will be of no benefit to us. The only thing that will benefit us is to stand before Allah with a healthy heart.[/color] Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/23/04 at 15:45:23 |
| Salam Alaikum I apologize. I think perhaps I've told a lie against the prophet when I said visiting graves for softening the heart is not from his sunnah, but the brother pointed out the hadith. I ask god for forgiveness. I still would like to warn the people however, to be careful about these visitations. I still do not agree with some of those things which were posted earlier which I pointed out. I apologize if I mislead you out of my ignorance. Your brother in islam, 'abd allah ibn 'abd allah |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| amkamb |
| 02/03/04 at 13:38:28 |
| [slm], I see that there has been much discussion regarding Death and visiting graveyards. It is encouraged and recommended to visit the graves......TO REFLECT. If you visit the graves and reflect, it should help in softening the heart. But there are many other ways to soften your heart. Not just visiting graves. The key is in thinking, contemplation and reflection. So if you were to constantly remember Allah, think about His might and power, His Signs, and also think about Death and what happens in the Hereafter........also the torture in the graves.......I have no doubt your heart will no longer remain hard. |
| 02/06/04 at 09:10:44 |
| amkamb |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| nida |
| 02/03/04 at 22:03:08 |
| salaam, I agree....remembering death does soften your heart-out of fear of Allah. When you think about it-Death is the beginning of the Hearafter.It is when we are going to meet Allah. We should remember Death everyday so that our hearts don't become preocuppied with this worldy life, which is but a passing enjoyment. |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| tahirah |
| 02/05/04 at 15:39:12 |
| [slm] i checked out the sunnah online website and discovered a lot of really beneficial articles...many of them dealing with the heart. This is like a treasure, i can't wait to sit down and read some of them! any more ideas guys? jazakum Allahu khair ma'a salaama |
| Re: For a hard heart |
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| faith |
| 02/06/04 at 04:33:50 |
| [slm] This is especially to those who have responded this thread with backings from the sunnah of rasulallah. One of the brothers mentioned that saying al-fatihah over the dead is wrong, and I totally agree. However, this is common practice in my country, and whenever I attend islamic gatherings, at one point or another, someone would request the congregration to read surah al-fatihah as a "gift" to the deceased. I would abstain from doing this, knowing that it is bid'aa. What I need is, some clear evidence, either from the quran or from authentic sunnah, to back up my argument for NOT doing this. Otherwise, people would just ignore my advise. So far, I have kept quiet whenever I am in the presence of those doing such things - and I know that I become a mute devil if I remain quiet...so, if members of this city could... Could someone please help me find all the relevant verses of the qur'an and sunnah (if hadith - the name of the compiler and name of book)? Thanks v. much. Peace :-) |
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