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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Reconsidering Marriage Proposal? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/08/04 at 07:34:06 |
| Asalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatahu, I got a marriage proposal which i didnt take very seriously. My answer was no without giving it much thought. Well they left me alone, but now, two months later i'm starting to have second thoughts. The guy has great adab and always speaks with a lot of respect. Two things that might be repairable bother me about this person. One, he doesn't pray regularly. I think he only prays during Ramadan or when its convenient for him. I see potential in him to better himself islamically but i would be taking a chance there. It would bother me a lot if my husband didnt want to take the same path as me in life. The second thing is that he kind of gives me the creeps. He's not ugly at all, actually pretty good looking. But the thought of having any kind of intimate relationship with him disgusts me. I was wondering if any sistes here ever felt like this in the beginning of their relationship. Maybe if i gave it more time, attraction will grow. I rejected a proposal in the past with a really nice guy because of the same reasons. The problem is that the type of guys that attract me are very limited, not that i'm afraid of intimacy. I just need to hear different opinions or any advice would help. JAZ. wassalaam. |
| Re: Reconsidering Marriage Proposal? |
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| Kathy |
| 01/08/04 at 09:37:19 |
| [slm] :PHe probably gives you the creeps because he does not pray... and who wants to be intimate and share themselves with a man like that? Yes, it is possible that a man will begin praying again. Keep in mind it is a red flag... and he will be the father of your children. For future marriage proposals, keep in mind that it is normal for a young virgin girl to be worried about marital intimacy. So don't discount the brothers because of this. ;-) :-)Once your married and as you get to know him you will look forward to it. ;) |
| 01/08/04 at 09:38:50 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Reconsidering Marriage Proposal? |
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| muslimah853 |
| 01/08/04 at 14:36:04 |
| [slm] My one piece of advice to folks about this type of thing...given that you know he doesn't pray regularly, ask yourself this: if that *never* changes about him, will you be happy? Yes, he could change for the better in this regard, but there is also the chance that it will never change. And if that's the case, you have to be able to live with that. If the answer is no, then you should keep stepping. |
| Re: Reconsidering Marriage Proposal? |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/11/04 at 04:35:53 |
| [slm] lol...sister he gives you the creeps and you are reconsindering it? I really don't want to give you meaningless advice, but that gut instinct is something you should take into consideration. It must be there for a reason. As usual...do istikhara. Wasalaam. |
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