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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| CAMuslimGirl |
| 01/11/04 at 19:14:06 |
| :-) [slm] I am working at an Islamic School this year, as the assistant Kindergarten Teacher. At the beginning of the year, I was very excited about this job, especially since the school is at the masjid I have been going to since I moved to Sacramento and I know a lot of the staff and students there. Plus, the woman who is the Head Teacher for the class went to college with me, although I didn't know her well. So anyways, by our second week of working together, we had our first fight. Maybe fight is the wrong word, since what really happened is that I made a suggestion for the bulletain board that she did not like and so she blew up at me. That day set the tone for the rest of the school year. The longest we have gone without getting in an argument since was two weeks. For the most part though, it is nearly constant. I feel sick to my stomach every morning because I know I will have to deal with this problem. She gets angry with me if I make a suggestion to her, if I ask a question about something she has asked me to do (ie I don't understand the directions and have asked for clarification), and sometimes, she blows up for reasons I don't know, since I am already doing exactly what she asked me to do. She constantly talks rudely to me, as if I am a slave. The principal keeps telling us that we are partners in the classroom, but I don't feel that way at all-I am slave, she is overseer. There are even times when she follows me around ordering me what to do while she does nothing. She has gone to the principal many times and told her that I am not doing my work, or other such things, which are untrue. When this happens, I bring the principal in to check what I have done all day, which proves I am working. One day, the Head Teacher told me "I cannot fire you, but other people can!" And ever since, I feel like she is making her best effort to get me fired. It is a very hard situation to work in. I swear to you by Allah that I am doing my work everyday, and am almost always one week ahead of schedule in all my tasks (preparing handouts, homework, bulletain boards, etc). I don't know what else to do. I spoke to the principal and told her that I wanted to quit because I can't stand the constant tension, but she told me no, because she wants togive me my own class next year, but it I break my contract the board won't like it. So I have to stay. So what I am asking is: Anyone have a suggestion on how to deal with this situation? ??? Jakakum Allahu Khairan! Sis Tara |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 01/11/04 at 21:47:35 |
| asalam alakum sr. i feel like i am reading my own professional life story. the teacher i was with does the same thing to me. i try to seek patience from Allah and read Quran every morning before going to school. i also get that feeling of sickness everyday i go to work. there are nights when i walk up in the middle of the night with anxiety attacks. i have decided to talk to the teacher i work with this week again. we already had a sort of meeting, but i dont think things were settled the way i wanted them to be. so i have requested that we meet. i want her to make a list of all the things that she is upset with me about, and to go through them one by one and i want to be able to answer them. dont take things so seriously though (i should be listening to my own advice and i am trying inshAllah!) half the year is almost over, that is what i keep telling myself and inshAllah the rest of hte year will be better. keep me updated on ur situation and i will try to also inshAllah.w 'salam. |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| MIT |
| 01/12/04 at 05:34:13 |
| as-salaamu alaikum In such a situation, is it not advisable to keep a diary of what's going on as a record of what she's been doing if things escalate? |
| NS |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 01/12/04 at 17:47:22 |
| MIT that is an excellent suggestion, and one that many people advised me to do. I have been doing it but havent been so consistent with it as i should. one thing i should note though is that this happens everywhere ....i work for a non-Muslim public school, but it really shocked me when you mentioned that you work for an Islamic school...may Allah make it easy on all of us...ameen |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| CAMuslimGirl |
| 01/13/04 at 01:40:35 |
| [slm] :-) Jazak Allah Khair for your advice. I have been keeping at journal of her behavior for the past month, at my mother's advice. I also bought a voice recorder from Radio Shak and have been carrying it in my pocket to catch her behavior in the act, since it has been my word against hers so far. OneMuslimGirl-thank you for sharing your situation with me...its nice to know I am not the only one. ;) I also like your idea of making lists....inshallah I will try that next. Salaam Tara |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| jannah |
| 01/13/04 at 06:58:25 |
| [wlm] If it is not too difficult for you to find another job? I'd go to the principal and tell him/her the whole situation and how uncomfortable you are and that you'd like to be assigned to another teacher. It's their job to keep the peace and have the school running well. Even if he/she thinks you're in the wrong and doesn't believe your evidence, the principal must know there are personality differences between people and it won't help the children any.. they might be able to move you or reassign you to something else or switch you with someone else? |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 01/13/04 at 13:40:58 |
| [wlm] ahhhh.... I had the worse practicum experience last semester, and subhan'Allah it was during Ramadan.. But i was stuck :(.. However, it took a lot out of me, the tension, the tears, the constant nagging.. what kept me going on was the kids telling me how they liked me over her :).. umm yah.. But honestly, my sincere advice would be to switch your class or something.. The students do pick up that there is tension btw teachers!!! wassalam |
| Re: How to deal with Difficult coworker??? |
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| CAMuslimGirl |
| 01/14/04 at 00:14:42 |
| [slm] :-) I wish that I was able to take your advice sisters, but our school is very poor-every dollar we have is being spent trying to finish the phase II expansion project so that we can accommodate the extra classes we have to add next year since we will have to add a second first grade plus high school, and the cafeteria, etc. The principal even told me that she wished she could put me in another class and hire someone new for my job, but we just can't afford it. And, if I want my own class next year, I can't quit. I don't know about the students in our class, but the boy I drive home has noticed the problems between us (he is in the other kindergarten class), and has ecen asked me "Why does Sister ___ hate you?" (I am leaving out her name.) At least, like Ayesha, I can revel in the fact that most of the kids like me better than her. ;) |
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