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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| What to do... [hate crime & parents]? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/18/04 at 22:05:48 |
| I am a revert to Islam, and recently began to grow out my beard for sake of Allah. Well, things have happened since... I'm not arab, but with my dark curly hair, and beard, one might guess that I am... nor is my roommate (though he is also muslim)... but just yesterday, I get back from work and find a note slid halfway thru the outside door of my apartment saying F*** ARABS (the note didn't have the stars)... even worse... wrapped around my doorknob was something even more offensive... a condom filled with... well, i don't know if this is racism because some ignorant people who dont know me think i'm arab by my looks, or if this is hate towards muslims, as some of the ignorant americans will often find arab and muslim synonymous (not to say americans are ignorant)... but i called the police and reported the incident (i have no enemies that i know of, i'm a very friendly guy, so i have no idea who could've done this)... but i certainly resolved that i must use this to strengthen my faith, not hurt it... and this gives me even more reason to keep my beard... well, to make matters worse, i call my (non-muslim) parents, and tell them about it, and both of their first reactions were... just shave your beard... i tell them that i have it for Allah's sake and will not shave it due to some ignorant idiots... after all, this may be a test of my faith from Allah... well, it gets worse... my dad starts to say that the only reason i became muslim is because of my muslim roommate, and just goes off on how everything i do, or ever did, is simply a result of my environment and nothing else... insulting both my faith, and my personal character... i'm sure he was just saying this out of concern for my safety... but that was a harsh blow... i tried to explain how God may have sent a sign by showing how my muslim roommate lives a such good life, but it was none other but God who called me to submission to Him (Islam)... I know that Islam calls us to respect our parents, but I feel they, at times, they do not respect me or my beliefs... well, i guess i gave you guys 2 separate issues, one of the hate crime, and the other of my parents... but all this is just bearing down on me... i know Allah can lighten the load... and i think I'm being tested (i think the arabic word is fitna)... Please make du'a for me. Your brother, |
| Re: What to do... [hate crime & parents]? |
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| FajR |
| 01/19/04 at 00:52:05 |
| [slm] brother, i really dont have much advice to offer you, but ill just say that i read yr post right before my Isha prayer, and i made dua especially for u and all the other muslims and muslimahs who have to go through these truamatic events. My heart goes out to everyone that has to face situations like these. But, Allah tests the ppl that he loves more, and if u decide to keep that beard and trust Allah and Him only, it will be yr Jihad and inshAllah it will strenthen ure faith more. Right after the 9/11 attacks, alot of hijabis were often troubled, harassed, and sometimes even followed at uni and other places. It didnt matter to my family much till it happened to me. Nothing big really, just a lil name calling and following. After my family found out, their first reaction too was "just take it off, ok only for some time" and other things like "safety first". Alhumdulillah, i was stubborn, if u believe in Allah swt and have full faith in his protection , u dont need anything else....u dont need to get rid of a hijaab (or a beard) and u dont even need to find other ways to cover yr hair ( it was suggested that i wear a hood , or a bandanna or woolen cap or something if i wanted to cover my hair that bad ::) ) Alhumdulillah, i had faith in Allah swt, and things got better, in our area and hence in my family too. My family is muslim, yet my dad and aunts thought it was wiser to just take it off till matters got better. i can understand how ure parents might feel. All i really did, was pray to Allah swt for strength, taqwa and guidance. And that solved most of my problem :) :-) |
| Re: What to do... [hate crime & parents]? |
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| Caraj |
| 01/19/04 at 02:46:38 |
| I'm so sorry you had to go through this. And I'm not much sure what I have to say will be helpful. I know things have been tough for Muslims since 911. But in my heart I truly believe hatred after 911 is not a new hate but just another excuse for those filled with rage and hatred to come out. I wear no hijab and I am just a caucasion female. I have my own business and was in Seattle to deliver an order. Usually I take my truck but the car gets better gas millage. I parked at my customers dock and it does have a sign truck delivery parking only. I went in with the first batch of inventory and told the gal where I was parked and my merchandise was heavy and there was no other parking and I had a car. She said no problem. Luckily someone (an employee of the business) saw the UPS man near my car and wrote a statement to UPS saying as such. As I came out, his truck was parked weird cause I was in the way. I went in with another arm load and came back, the UPS truck was gone but there was a yellow post it on my car saying...... 'Nice F****** truck B****' and 2 globs of spit rolling down my car beside the note. Why am I telling you this? Cause I am begining to feel, people who have hate in their hearts don't hate anything specific, but wait for a reason so it looks like they are justified. I know this may not make you feel any better. I have concluded from my experience is praying Allah will heal their hate and soften their hearts brings comfort to me when frustrated by rude and hateful humans. As to parents, and as a parent of two sons 24 and soon to be 26 (oyyy I am getting old) sometimes when we are worried or scared we run at the mouth. This just means we parents love you kids and are worried. We always think we know what's best and it frustrates us when we can't always protect our children. When they are home we try so hard to keep them safe and when you all grow up and leave we still want to protect them but it is not possible. Pray for them also. Not sure if this helps, but forgive them, the hateful and the parents andpray for them. You need tk leave this hateful person in Allahs hands just like us parents need to leave you adult children in Allah's hands. Just sometimes we try to snatch you all back for a bit ;) I hope this makes sense. ADDED LATER: Tell me this isn't a sign!!!!!!!!!!!! Notice above each page here at jannah.org there is a Medina news thingy. After I got done posting I notice on this boards (advice) above message was the following. I kid you not. MadinaNews: "Forgive the one who does you wrong." [Hadith] I actually have a smile on my face, a warm fuzzie in my heart and a tear in my eye. Of all the days you post and all the Medina news thingy's Jannah puts up and the different boards on this site. Tell me??? What were the odds of that one being up the day you posted? :-* |
| 01/19/04 at 02:56:37 |
| Caraj |
| Re: What to do... [hate crime & parents]? |
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| AbdulJalil |
| 01/19/04 at 16:33:30 |
| Assalamu Alaikum Visit the CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) website. look at the left of the website, they have published a book you can see online called "Muslim Community Safety Kit" . I do not know if it will help, but Inshallah. This is their website http://www.cair-net.org/ i think you can even report to them this incident Brother, in moments like these, you need support, and you need to stay with other brothers as much as you can, if possible. Inshallah, i will make dua for you. |
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