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i really feel helpless!!! [sisters marriage probs]

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i really feel helpless!!! [sisters marriage probs]
Anonymous
01/18/04 at 22:08:31
[slm]

how are you? inshaallah good... as for me? i don't know how to describe how i feel. right
now tears are not listening to me, they are trying to rush out despite the force that i
give... imprudent tears only listents to my heart not the mind.

all this... why? cuz my sister's marriage is about to end! and my bro is out of job! and
me can do nothing to help but make duaa... and i feel like such a sinner that i am even
ashamed to put my hand up

seriously, i feel like really a bad little girl... cuz i sinned, and i am ashamed to tell
what it was, but it wasn't anything good... let me tell ya.

so, how to help old sis? her husbad is a selfish man whom she married from overseas...
now all he want is her to be his slave and worship his feet... he wants her to work and
give all the money aka "garbage" on him hand and he wants to spend those money for him
family overseas... what about his little girl and wife here? why should the wife work at all?
why should he give all his and her money overseas?

well, ok, i will admitt its good to help ppl overseas... but isn't there a limit? should
u behave like an animal with ur wife cuz of ur family? should ur wife matter at all? why
can't u spend atlease a little time having fun with her? he doesn't even get out! comes
from work and sleep! nevers goes shopping with her, she doesn't care that much, but
still!!! atleast go to a park with wife and little girl! and u know what? he never even picks
his little girl up... never hugs her... never looks at her with loving eyes! he is alz in
his bed sleeping! don't care about praying ofcourse!...  omigodness! i am so frusrated
and mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but what can i do??

all those things are wearing me out! imagine how the wife feels!

ooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how i despise some men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ma salaama
Re: i really feel helpless!!! [sisters marriage pr
bismilla
01/19/04 at 02:26:29
[slm]
sorry to hear that you feel so helpless in this situation bro/sis

Although you feel helpless your Sister is not helpless, she can take control of the situation in terms of deciding whether she wants to stay married or not.  She does not have to endure such a (baseless) relationship especially seeing as how she is alone in the relationship anyway.

With regard to Duahs, there is nothing to say that only if you are a Saint that you may ask Allah SWT for help / make Duah to Allah swt.  We are all sinners to one extent or another and it is said that if we want to sincerely make a change, then the Mercy of Allah SWT is bigger than all the water in the oceans.  Seek his mercy Insha Allah. :-)  May Allah swt make it easy on you and your family Insha Allah.
01/19/04 at 02:28:58
bismilla
Re: i really feel helpless!!! [sisters marriage pr
al-ajnabia
01/19/04 at 10:09:54
[slm]
I dont know if I'm out on a limb here, but its a real bad sign when a man form overseas isnt bonding with the children he is having here but sendin gall his resources off to the proverbial elsewhere.  Its not jsut the overseas ones that behave this way and its all bad when they do.  Before I knew I was muslim I was a common law wife of a man who behaved this way only instead of always sleeping he was always digging holes in the yard.  He never wanted to do anything and he always said had had to dig a hole for this or that .  One time when I complained he smaked me on the head so hard I died for a few minutes, I started haveing trouble talking form then on.  
Life is too short to be a slave.  It would be different if he was woking so hard for the family he had here or even was just giving his family here an equal share of his effort.  Mine was saving all the money to ge himself a mail order bride and when he started getting close the amount of money he needed he beat me till I called the cops and then told them I had struk him, I coldnt communicate very well so they took me to a mental hospital and from there to a homeless shelter.  And get this, he had put the house in my name using my credit! yes he had the cops come and evict me form my own house!
By the way, this is in Tennessee Gas country, (beverly hillbillies home range) does anyone know anyone who buys mineral rights?
Tell your sister to get a real husband.
Salam,
Al-ajnabia :-)


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