A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Self Defense |
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| faith |
| 01/20/04 at 00:34:58 |
| [slm] sisters, I am posting this topic in the wake of several rapes and murders of women and children (seperately) happening recently at my end of the woods :o. I can't believe that its happening just like on tv, CSI and other cop shows. :( :'(I think, the degradation of morals in the society I live in, has much to do with it, and that the law enforcement is overburdened with work loads. This half muslim society is emulating the west in its economic development, but also emulating the west's social habits with warts and all! I am not here to post a topic about how to cure this society's disease of random opportunistic violence against women and children. I believe that women on an individual level should have some ability to defend themselves against such a situation. Especially for sisters who often go unaccompanied by male relatives, either to work, study, shop, drive, rund errands etc. I would like to hear your thoughts on these issues: 1) how do we protect ourselves? Sure, we need to rely on Allah's protection, nonetheless, how about some physical protections, like self defense/martial arts knowledge? 2) Do you think that self defense/martial arts would be of help? or false hope? 3) If yes to martial arts, then which one: kung fu, kick boxing, jujitsu, aikedo, taekwando, silat, capoeara, etc.? and what if these lessons are being taught by men, and some physical touching is required as part of the lesson? would you still go? would it be considered - a necessity, and hence it is ok for man to hold woman, vice versa, for these lessons? ??? 4) Or change our lifestyle by being accompanied by male relatives everytime we go out? especially at night? what if we don't have any male relatives to rely on? ??? [btw, I go to night classes on Islamic lessons - mainly for women] 5) What if the car you're driving (alone) breaks down, or have a flat tyre? would you know how to fix it? what if your husband is out of town? what would you do then? Anyway, these are just issues that I need to hear from other sisters' perspectives...I'd appreciate if you could give suggestions and answers.... Peace, :-) |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Caraj |
| 01/20/04 at 03:35:30 |
| Faith, I would like to take a try at answering this one. I think it is very important in todays society for a woman to learn how to defend herself. I also believe the male family member escort is an awesome idea and concept and if at all possible should be practiced. However you as well as I know that is not always possible. Yet I don't see why a woman cannnot find another woman to come with her unless it is a dire emergancy. Shopping, work, school, classes and such can be prepared for in advance. As to martial arts, there are many quailified famale masters / teachers out there and if you live in or near a big enough city and can draw enough interest can maybe get group family or group organization private classes in a location where it is not viewed by outsiders. I personally favor kick boxing and Tae kwondo. I really get a thrill out of sword and stick fighting, it teaches you to use whatever you have at hand if the need arise. I like fencing. I know it doesn't sound very fem but tis just what I like and get a thrill out of :P As to physical touching, there are 2 ways one can learn, contact and no contact. Just depends on the teacher and what the student wants. I personally think no contact teaches more self control as to be able to throw a punch within an inch of someones face and have the training and self control to stop short takes much self disapline and paying attention to what you are doing. My oldest son once went to live with his dad a year and during that time took a year of training at a contact training location. When he moved back home our training place here was no contact. It was very hard for him to adjust and when he entered a tournement, watching him compared to the others, there was a major difference in his form and moves. I felt so bad for the kid but was so proud he gave it a shot and his best and didn't quit in the middle of it and watched and learned. Pepper spray, I am a bug fan of carrying pepper spray but again it is merely a tool and you need to know how to use it, be aware of your surrounding so you don't end up spraying yourself down wind or worse yet having it taken away from you and used against you. Also different laws for different states. I carry it mainly for wildlife. They have pocket ones for walkers against dogs and huge ones for hunters for bear. The flat tire thing, don't be alone and don't be out at night without another with you. But pepper spray if allowed in your area. Have a bro teach you how to fix a flat and don't just watch. Have them show you and practice in front of him not once but twice so if and when the time comes you can do it quickly and efficiently. Just my opinionated opinions. Hope I didn't spell anything wrong cause I think I'm on Officer Nomi's grammer and spelling hit list ;D Oh and P.S. I hope I do not offend anyone, mods can edit if they think this is not to cool to say. Faith, if ever in a life or death situation men have a very vulnerable spot on their body and I think you know what I mean. NEVER, NEVER in a life or death situation be afraid or to shy to use it. After all if someone was going to harm, kill or rape you do you think they are afraid and shy to use whatever they can against you? NOPE My husband and I were wrestling one day and he though with me having waist long hair it was a source of weakness and control. He would of let go if I squealed. I simply grabbed near, toward something else, looked him directly in the eyes with a stern look and said in a low voice, "I BET you let go before I do." :o His hands all of a sudden were up and off me. Then I got tickled :D It was wrestling and joking, but he knew I was dead serious if I needed to be. The hardest punch or kick you give, will keep a guy down long enough for you to get away and then some, but you have to mean it and strike hard. If you only hit him enough to tick him off you'll be in more trouble. In a life or death situation you cannot be shy, it may save your virginity, years of emotional torment and even your life. Prevention, don't go anywhere alone if at all possible. Always be aware of your surrounding and what and who is around you. Oh and the opinions above are only the opinions of the author and do not reflect the opinions of the mods or the board ;) |
| 01/20/04 at 05:13:44 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| jannah |
| 01/20/04 at 07:55:18 |
| slm, organizing a self-defense class for the muslim women in your area is a great idea. we went to one a few years ago and it was really enlightening... i think the difference is if something happens and ur in shock at least ur mind will go back to what u learned then and even if u don't remember all the stuff it gives you confidence to do what you have to... as for the increasing violence in our world.. it is really scary..just in my area which is extremely low crime there have been some extremely grisly murders. that's a good point about TV... i wonder if there is a link between those TV shows like CSI (rated #1) and Law&Order: SVU which show some really gruesome stuff and people's minds. but i also think it's more than just morals.. an increasingly messed up society (socially, politically, economically) is bound to conceive more mental disorders. i think we should do everything to protect ourselves...if we have to be alone in something we should just follow general safety rules.. ie parking close to stores in well lit areas, having our key ready when we get to the car, asking a friend or someone to walk us to our cars at night and driving them to theirs.. there's lots of things but we tend not to take the extra effort and do em... |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Caraj |
| 01/20/04 at 17:02:53 |
| Oh and I forgot, I do this, know how sometimes we go into a store in the daylight, forget the time and next thing we know as we are exiting, it is dark outside. Most places will honor a request to be escorted to your car and if they have no female or female security and you feel uncomfortable having a male employee walk you, simply asj he watch from the door till you get in your car and he sees the lights come on. Lock your dooors before turning on your lights. |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Umm_Junayd |
| 08/24/04 at 07:08:06 |
| [slm] Self-defense is a good idea for all sisters to take up. I do karate and it's help me alot with many things: toning up releasing my 'worries' being aggressive when needed [ie. if i am in danger etc] ..lol... keeping my husband in check.. lol.. Go for it sisters!! |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Nabila |
| 08/24/04 at 13:11:04 |
| [slm] I think it is really very important to learn how to fend for yourself. If you are really worried, there are several things you could carry to help - like sis Azizah said, pepper spray, or a panic alarm, to provide you with that one moment of distraction that allows you to get away. As for martial arts, I really think they are a big help - they can increase fitness, confidence, and a provide a general feeling of wellbeing. But, I've found that when you begin a martial art, the forms wont always fit to a real life situation, and sometimes beginners get stuck in those forms, and become unable to see other openings. To make a martial art work for you, you really have to commit to it. If thats not what your interested in, then maybe a course in pure self defense would help, as they would tackle situations like being grabbed from behind, multiple assailants, and so on. Different types of martials tend to specialise in different things - like Gracie jujitsu focuses on groundfighting, and they believe this is good, becuase most fights go to the ground - but how would that help against multiple attackers? Taekwondo involves alot of power and alot of commitment, as does muay thai kick boxing - you have to be really into fitness for some of them. Try visiting different dojo, and ask to observe a lesson, if you like what you see in terms of class size, sensei - student relationship, etc, then talk to the sensei about what you want to get out of this class, and if its possible to get what you want out of this particular martial art. Also, please watch out for fakes! Theyre not frequent, but sometimes you do get weirdo trying to tell you they know the Ninja Death Touch and teach it to ALL their students... all they need is your credit card number... :D As for the mixed class thing, a friend of mine once said, "I tell people to get real. It's not going to be a skinny little Asian girl with big hoop earrings who attackes you, but a guy or guys - theyll probably be bigger than you, stronger than you, and more male than you!" :D So I havent ruled out the mixed class thing. Sis Jannah - I always thought CSI and programmes like that always give out more of a positive message, they show how thanks to great technology and blah blah blah, criminals just arent as safe as they used to be. ma asalaamah and take care |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Sara_R |
| 08/26/04 at 08:55:46 |
| [slm] I think self-defense is an excellent idea. I have studied and taught self-defense and martial arts for 13 years. At least here in the states.. people are attacked all over the place, in daylight, in one’s home, even if you have a friend with you. (A husband and wife I know were with each other and attacked in broad daylight with a guy with a knife.) There is a lot of good advice already. I cannot only add a bit of practical advice. There is a difference between martial arts and self-defense. Whereas I love martial arts.. no one is going to attack me with a long stick (bo) or have safety rules. Also, as someone mentioned, there is the other issue of control, if you always ‘pull’ your techniques so you do not hurt your partners. What martial arts do do: keeps you more mentally alert and helps to have physical self-confidence. Attackers do not want a fight, they want a victim. If you ‘look’ less like a victim then you are less likely to be attacked. The ‘stronger’ you look through your manner and body language the better off you are. They also do teach things that can cause pain and teach you something. Knowledge is empowering. But they are ‘art’ so its about many other things as well. And they are for people interested in on-going training. Self Defense courses: many places, especially cities here in the US, will offer some self-defense courses. Here is what I recommend when you look at one: -do they teach you up to date practical self-defense for women? A lot of programs teach you to ‘fight’ which is ok but not as helpful as women are attacked different then men. First of all.. men get into fights.. like you see on TV. Women are grabbed, chokes etc. Many programs do not acknowledge or focus on that women have to deal with physical sexual assault or fear of one, as one of their main concerns. They teach ‘boxing’ type of fighting.. frankly if I punch someone I probably will break my hand and I have training. I want to avoid upper body fights with 99 percent of men. There are LOTS of other things you can do. -in any general sense it is best if one’s first class is taught by a woman or co-taught by a woman and a man. Women and men learn and teach differently. To see my first teacher and my sensei 13 years ago teach self-defense was highly empowering. Plus a good program will address not only the physical but the emotional and mental aspects as we much and listens to his advice, so when "nana g" gave him an earful he felt bad, said sorry to the lady and are living happily again.[/quote] This is one embarrasing feature about marital problems in certain cultures, somehow the problem is never contained between the two people it concerns or the people they choose to share it with, somehow the news of the problem spreads to strangers. Thats why some people choose to suffer in silence and hold on to a broken marriage in order to avoid the publicity and comments from others :( [quote] Not having children is A okay in such circumstances but please dont be idealistic (general comment not targetted at anyone) and time will change and correct things, maybe an year if not 2. Seen that many a times. [/quote] I think the majority of women dream of having children because it is the most natural phenomenon for them. Heck I've been planning my kids names since I was 10! But the thought of having children with a man who does notound: -use your legs, arms, hips etc to dislodge them. And once they are off get you legs between them and your head as best as you can and kick. -If there is more then one attacker get up as soon as possible (there is more to do but its too complex to explain on paper.) To find a good self-defense program can be tough depending where you are. We recommend calling a Rape Crisis Center/Women’s Center and asking them if they know a group that does it. If one lives in a large city in the US I’d look into the full-force programs called IMPACT Self Defense or Prepare. These are the best programs. Two great books, I highly, highly recommend are written by Gavin DeBecker. They are: The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift (how to protect your children). He is amazing! |
| Re: Self Defense |
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| Nabila |
| 08/27/04 at 10:29:24 |
| [slm] [quote author=Sara_R link=board=sis;num=1074576898;start=0#6 date=08/26/04 at 08:55:46] [slm] There is a lot of good advice already. I cannot only add a bit of practical advice. There is a difference between martial arts and self-defense. Whereas I love martial arts.. no one is going to attack me with a long stick (bo) or have safety rules. [/quote] I suppose alot of being a good martial artist is to know when you can take the forms, and apply them to your situation - so, someone may not attack you with a bo (six foot staff), but an enraged janitor may come at ya with a broomstick :D The principles of refuting a bo attack may be adapted to this bizarre situation. Or, more realistically, someone may take a swing at you with a baseball bat, or a length of iron, and a martial artists hanbo (3 foot staff) training may come in handy. Do you think thats applicable, or do you prefer to keep the martial arts, and self defense separate? :) ma asalaamah and take care |
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