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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| BIG wieght problem? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/21/04 at 11:10:27 |
| Assalamualaikum, I am a 25 year old woman. I was married at 19. When I was married I was a very vibrant person. I looked pretty mashaAllah, I wasn't skinny but I wasn't fat either. I was just a little on the chubby side, but Alhamdulillah I looked great and fresh. After I had my first child, my wieght after the delivery was 214lbs. It depressed me greatly. I didn't do anything about it. I had another child 3 years later. Now my wieght is 220lbs. It seems to be stuck on that wieght now no matter how less or more I eat. I don't have any willpower. I can't stick to any diet. I joined a health club but never got much chance to go to it cuz I was so busy with my house and kids. I love food. I just can't give up on it, but I don't eat extremely fattening things. I just love eating good food and I find myself eating something or other all day. I tried scheduling my meals, but as I said, my willpower is horrible and I just find muself munching on something all the time. Everyone is overwieght on my father's side including my father. They are all old and HUGE. i don't want to be like them anymore. My husband has now started complaining about my wieght too, and constantly tells me don't it this and don't eat that. He said to me once jokingly, that only I can love you with a body like that. It hurt me so much, even though he kept telling me he was only joking, it just made me so sad and I cried so much. But no matter how much I try, I am not able to stick to any kind of diet or excercizing. I feel lazy and tired all the time, and don't feel like doing anything. I really hate being this way, I wish I was back to how I was when I was 19. All of this is making me extremely depressed. I still have a pretty face, but my body is horrible and I hate it. Somebody please help me |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| Caraj |
| 01/21/04 at 14:55:14 |
| It could be your (and I know I am going to spell this wrong) metabilisum Ever notice skinny people who can eat eat eat and stay skinny? You know, the ones you want to kill ;D (just joking) I'll just tell you what works for me and see if you like it, others can give you ideas also. I am the type that if I do not walk 30 to 45 mins a day as fast as I can and drink lots of water, I gain weight. If I walk and drink water I can eat anything. Now all bodies are different. But for me, I notice if I get to busy to walk in about 6 weeks I start to gain and when I start back walking 6 weeks later no matter what I eat I still lose or maintain. You can run yor tail off all day with kids and feel like you ran a marathon but till you get that heart rate up consistanly it is not the same. Also I read and have experienced it is true. It take 6 weeks to make a habit and 6 weeks to break a habit. No association with the above. I had to force myself to drink water even when I felt I would toss it back. I was a major [] and an ice tea with sugar drinker. Now for a month or more you will hate water >:( but all of a sudden you'll find in 6 to 8 weeks you'll actually crave it and when you don't get enough will just craaaaaaave it. If you stop you will feel after a time that you don't like it again. Same with walking, I have to push and make myself do it and once I am in the habit, if I miss a day my legs feel like they are saying to my body, 'HEY we gotta go you coming with us' :D I to love to eat and I love to cook. Walking is boringgggggggggggg too so if you try this have a mini cassette player and listen to Quran or something while walking. Check with your doctor, then go go go. Start out slow, maybe 10 or 15 mins first week then go 15 to 20 and try to work up to 30 to 45 mins 5 days a week. When I started I could barely do 10 to 15 mins at a rate of 2.7 miles per hour (treadmill) without feeling out of breath and like my head was pounding and I eventually worked up to 45 mins at 3.8 MPH and some of that I can push to 3.9 and 4.0 MPH for 5 of those 45 mins. I'm not at all into running :P Get yourself 4 of the 20 oz water bottles (80 oz total) if you try this, fill them up at night and put them in the fridge) that is if you like to drink things cold. The next day make it a goal to drink as much of them till you can drink all of them by the end of the day. Maybe week one you can barely do one bottle and by week 2 you can drink 3. Just slowly work your way up. My advice, if I do the above I eat what I want and I never go on a scale, that is toooooo depressing and anyway when your clothes get way to loose and it is time for new ones you'll know you're on the right road. When things get tight you'll know you need to make more efforts. I'm serious I can eat what I want if I drink a lot of water and walk 30 to 45 mins a day fast. Maybe it would work for you. OHHHHHHH and makes sure you stretch before walking, specifically your calves, shin splints are soooooo painful, It is a sharp pain in your calves. If you want 2 that work real well (or work for me that is) that stretches the calves, post another message here and I'll explain. Getting down on yourself will only make you more depressed sooooo :) smile and get to working on it. |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| jannah |
| 01/22/04 at 00:53:11 |
| slm, i feel like dr. phil... this is tough love.. but for sure it is love sister... sis first you say you are depressed and stuff but you don't want to do anything about it..?? therefore you will always be depressed and the cycle is endless. so my conclusion is that there's a lot more than eating food that's going on here.. people don't do anything against their will, something in the food or your current lifestyle is giving u positive feedback to continue doing it and it's keeping u in the same place. everyone wants to lose weight but you have to come to the point where you're willing to do the work to do it. you have to make a promise to yourself that you're going to change your lifestyle and eating habits.. and that means not eating the foods you want, buying different kinds of foods, learning about nutrition, about different ways of cooking and hard stone cold exercise.. if you're not willing or not ready to do any of that then you won't lose any weight [quote]I feel lazy and tired all the time, and don't feel like doing anything. [/quote] this usually happens when ur gaining weight and not losing it and don't have an active lifestyle (ie no exercise) [quote] I really hate being this way,[/quote] sis if u really hate it u can change it.. only u have the power to do it.. if u want to u can.. if u don't u won't be able to... so think about what your underlying issues really are and try to deal with them and know that Allah is supporting u and u can do it inshallah. all of us are weak.. and it's very difficult sometimes to reach our goals, but you need to at least try. |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| faisalsb |
| 01/22/04 at 09:00:53 |
| [slm] Well I am fan of sister Aziza when it comes to giving advice I think she covered it very well. I'll just like to add something that in my perception person's body reflects his/her life style and personality. So as we can say that fatness brings laziness, same way we can say laziness brings fatness. So the real thing is you have to change your lifestyle because otherwise there are many ways to reduce your weight but if you don't make necessary changes to your life style as sister Aziza and Jannah mentioned then after some time you might be facing the same problem. |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| CAMuslimGirl |
| 01/22/04 at 13:54:57 |
| [slm] Sisters, First, sister, I understand how you feel. I gained weight after marriage too, and my husband began to make comments. At the time, I was also feeling very lazy, not too mention busy (full time work and full time student) to do anything about it. But I finally committed myself to an exercise routine (very simple-walking, some Tae Bo a couple of mornings after fajr), and the weignt is slowly coming off. I am also on the Carbohydrates Addicts' Diet. (There is a book-you should check it out!) And you have to know, I feel a lot better, and once I started exercising, I didn't feel lazy or tired anymore. Now, not exactly a reply to this post, but rather a question on a similar topic. A friend from the masjid asked me a few days ago is liposuction is haram. I didn't know, so I wanted to ask if any of you do? Salaams! :-) Tara |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| Maliha |
| 01/22/04 at 14:19:27 |
| [slm] anon..i agree with the above trend...there's no getting around to it..Work OUT...its painful, its not what we want to hear..but we have to understand there is hikma in everything. Allah set up physical rules to give us insight into the spiritual realm..just like we have to exert effort physically to lose weight and feel good (and it's not about looks..there are diseases that can Kill..that in itself should be *the* primary motivation). The physical correlates to the spiritual... We are caretakers of the earth, our families, our jobs..we are caretakers of every *blessing* Allah gave us and that includes our bodies. The correlation between the outer and inner and the balance thereof, is key to living *Islamically*. If you let your lower nafs dictate in matters of eating..what happens in the bigger struggles of life? Are you going to have the will power to wake up for Tahajjud? To fast? to do all the other obligations that *necessarily* *require* *will* power.... I like the term La Hawla Wala Quwatta Illa Billah (There is no strength or power but from Allah). Make duah, pray to Allah to ease this process for you..and look at it as a challenge not to just lose weight for surface reasons..but to bring yourself *closer* to Allah. The energy you get, the self esteem, the vibrancy will permeate into every act of your Ibadaah and will affect even your children and their perceptions of self, control, and beauty. Make this intention and let your work generate thawaabs for you...everything we do is under the umbrella of our slavehood to Allah...make the intent to first strive to be a *good* slave and take it from there. As far as Liposuction, sis Tara, I don't need no Fatwa to tell me the *adverse* health effects in the long run are *not* worth the short term cut and paste procedures they take on our bodies. It's sick!!! What does that say to human dignity? you have no control, so lets cut you up? you may suffer but its okay, looking good is the way to go??? Liposuctions and other "cosmetic" surgeries are a product of a sick society and a sicker mentality festering from diseased or worse dead souls...is that the path we as Muslims want to take?? sigh...May Allah guide us all (Amin). If I said anything offensive please forgive me..take it as "tough" sista love:) Sis In Struggle, :-) [wlm] |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| Kareema_Abdul-Khab |
| 01/22/04 at 17:47:29 |
| ,Salaams, One more word of wisdom: try to find another sister with a similar schedule who is likewise dedicated to losing or maintaining weight!! She can push you when you don't feel like it and help to make it a priority, and you can do likewise for her. A sister like.....well...like me! If you're interested, private message me and I'll get back to you. And besides it's just more fun that way. The biggest thing is to stick to it(advice that I'll start to apply to myself with the 3 new Tae-Bo tapes that I have ;D, inshallah) Oh, and dua. Dua. Dua. For the success of your weight loss, your husband's understanding, and to give you strength to start and stick to your weight program, and for the uplift of your feelings, which are keeping you down. And, I do the same thing as you. Whenever I'm at home, I eat one thing after another, it's like the easiest activity at my small apartment. However, if I'm at school(and don't bring much money) I'm too busy to eat and just have to focus on eating the snacks that I bring along. So, maybe you should try to find some foodless activity in your area(an hour long trip to the park, walking both ways) that includes your kids and activity. So let us know on your progress( and we expect to hear of some soon) Wa Salaam, Kareema |
| 01/22/04 at 17:55:18 |
| Kareema_Abdul-Khab |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| Ameeraana |
| 02/04/04 at 20:57:01 |
| [slm] I have lost 43 lbs and I know what its like... I kept saying "I'll start tomorrow" "I'll start tomorrow" forever. It is hard to get the motivation even though in your mind you are thinking "I have to lose weight". And your husband's comments don't make things any better or give any motivation either. It only hurts and makes you more upset... and maybe you eat more because you have become upset. Sis... you should join a weight-loss discussion board not just to start right away but inshallah reading all the struggles and progress that the other members are going through will inspire you and help you to start. The fact is though.. you have to exercise... you just have to. But it doesn't have to be hard-core-make-you-out-of-breath stuff either. There are several fun things you can do. PM me, I'll send you some ideas. And with food... you don't have to give up everything you love either... you just can't eat it all in one day!! You will have to balance your eating out and add more healthy stuff to your menu. Its a struggle but once you see the success it makes you want to do it even more. Ameera |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| rkhan |
| 02/06/04 at 00:45:14 |
| [slm] I feel for you sis anon, what you've posted is virtually the story of my life since I got married pretty young and had back to back babies...by the end of the second year of my marriage I had ballooned so much that ppl used to wonder who's older me or my sis-in-law (who btw has a good 8 years on me.) Anyhow to cut a long story short I went back to my pre-marriage wt (tho not the same body, pregnancy makes life-long changes) by: 1. Fasting (Mon, Thurs, 13,14,15) of each Islamic month and praying hard 2. Drinking Klim instead of regular milk, tea,coffee or [] 3. Munching fruits and veggies ONLy and cornflakes (that took some doing) while my family tucked into broasts and biryanis 4. Exercising like my life depended on it for 30 minutes EVERYDAY come hail, snow or storm Alhamdulillah I got back to normal within a year. The thing is I'm expecting again and all that effort is staring me in the face again, please pray for me PS: No offence, but my guess is that all the well-meaning posters talking about tough love and "laziness bringing on fatness" either: don't have the tendency to put on weight (lucky you) OR have never been pregnant or had a baby who makes a person too exhausted to even think about exercise let alone go out and actually do it The worst part about post pregnacy fat is that people automatically assume that the person has "let go". That's almost NEVER the case, who wants to go through life carrying lards of baby blubber?? No One. So please, the next time you see a metabolically challenged sis (hows that for politically correct?) offer tons of sympathy and real diet/exercise tips and PRAYERS |
| 02/06/04 at 00:55:41 |
| rkhan |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| gift |
| 02/06/04 at 05:18:07 |
| [slm] Anon, I also faced a problem with my weight in the past. Firstly, it goes without saying that you need to make du’as that Allah swt helps you to achieve your goal, and gives you the will power to carry through and finish your task. Secondly, I agree with all that the sisters have said above. I thought I’d give you some practical info / ideas that helped me. Food -Diets don’t work >:( because they have a beginning, a middle and an end. Once the diet ends you go back to your old way of eating. The best thing to do is to change the way you eat all the time. -What is your particular weakness? Identify it and try to cut down the amount you eat of it – perhaps turn it into something of a treat for yourself that you only eat once or twice a week. My particular weakness was chocolate – in the end I reverted to eating 1 bar a week (which is the amount my parents allowed me to eat as a kid, and boy were they right :D) -Learn to eat only [i]when you are hungry[/i] – and believe me this is harder than it sounds. Listen to your body rather than your brain (or your eyes :o). When your stomach grumbles you’re hungry – so eat. -The ideal way to eat is to have a good breakfast, a snack mid morning, lunch, a snack mid afternoon and then dinner. -Don’t snack on things like biscuits/potato chips etc only – some is okay, you don’t have to cut them out of your diet completely – just cut down the amount you eat. Nuts are good to snack on, as are dried fruits (apricots, dates, figs etc) – or if you’re at home perhaps you could make yourself a smoothie using a little low fat yoghurt and fruit. -As Azizah said – drink lots and lots of water. The less water you drink, the more water your body retains i.e. you become bloated. Once you start drinking it regularly your bladder will get used to it and you won’t be rushing to the bathroom so frequently, and your body starts to feel ‘clogged up’ without the water. -DO NOT go for long periods without eating. Meaning don’t eat breakfast and think ‘I’ll be good and I won’t eat anything until the evening’. This is counter-productive. Your body goes into ‘starvation mode’ and actually tries to store as much fat as possible out of the food you do eat – i.e. your body absorbs more fat from the food than it normally would. Lastly – you must exercise – there is no other option. Controlling your diet alone does not work (believe me I tried it ::)). Like Azizah I go walking for about 30 minutes every day if I can, if not then at least every other day. If you can’t do that or you feel uncomfortable perhaps you could buy a work out video to do in the comfort of your own home. You won’t lose weight overnight, but gradually you will inshallah notice a difference. And all of the above does not mean that you have to stop eating all your favourite foods for ever – I still eat pizza, French fries and drink cola once a week []. I also still eat biscuits, chocolates and cakes – just not all the time or even every day like I used to. Sorry for being so long winded – please feel free to IM me sis. All this requires will power sis anon – and may Allah ‘azza wa jall give it to you in bucket loads. :-* [wlm] |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| Anonymous |
| 02/08/04 at 03:45:34 |
| Assalamualaikum, JazakAllah everyone for the support and advice. I really appreciate it. After reading everyone's post I started this diet and it helped me a lot. I have lost 13 lbs in 2 weeks and it feels sooo good. I used to wake up every morning with horrible back pain and now it is totally gone. I feel so much more fresh and energetic, I can't sit down for more then 5 minutes. Now I am planning on getting a treadmill and start excercizing now that my weight is down a little. Before, I had no energy and I was so fat I would get tired right away. I am still pretty fat but loosing a little weight has given me some energy so I am going to start some light excercizes now. May Allah guide me in this ordeal and help me be a better and healthier person, Ameen. JazakAllah everyone. a sister |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| rkhan |
| 02/08/04 at 08:44:43 |
| [slm] That's great sis. Inshallah am going to download this thread or something and keep it for motivation because am going to need it shortly. Watch out for a weight loss lag a few weeks into your new regimen when it'll seem that these pounds that are peeling off nice n easy right now just won't seem to budge. It's supposed to be the body's defense against starving (hah, as if!) The trick is to slightly increase your exercise and cut down on the food for a few days until the weight starts coming off aagain. Don't forget to keep us posted and all the best |
| Re: BIG wieght problem? |
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| sisterhood |
| 02/14/04 at 13:22:55 |
[slm] warahmatullahi wa barakatu Dear sister I just wanted to add my story I am 25 five also but my weight gain didn't come from children it came from a hormone inbalance but after marriage I weighted 200 pounds. After looking into some different things I found out that I was a bread junky and decided to stop eating sugar completly and to temp. stop eating bread and the weight just melted off. I decided to not worry about the weight but to simple get healthy it is important to eat for live not to live on a diet we must permanatly change our eating habits into healthy ones. Now I am down to 150 pounds and feel great and people tell me I great too ;) I still want to lose 10 more pounds but am going slowly and have started to eat whole wheat bread but still no white bread at all and I am manintaining my weight. All the advice below is great and I just wanted to add to it that you really should consider your sugar intake and reduce it if not elimanate it altogether and get your sugar from natural sorces like fruits. Another point that I wanted to make was don't just make it about your weight make it about your health. I pray that you will be successful in losing the weight. Food -Diets don’t work because they have a beginning, a middle and an end. Once the diet ends you go back to your old way of eating. The best thing to do is to change the way you eat all the time. -What is your particular weakness? Identify it and try to cut down the amount you eat of it – perhaps turn it into something of a treat for yourself that you only eat once or twice a week. My particular weakness was chocolate – in the end I reverted to eating 1 bar a week (which is the amount my parents allowed me to eat as a kid, and boy were they right ) -Learn to eat only when you are hungry – and believe me this is harder than it sounds. Listen to your body rather than your brain (or your eyes ). When your stomach grumbles you’re hungry – so eat. -The ideal way to eat is to have a good breakfast, a snack mid morning, lunch, a snack mid afternoon and then dinner. -Don’t snack on things like biscuits/potato chips etc only – some is okay, you don’t have to cut them out of your diet completely – just cut down the amount you eat. Nuts are good to snack on, as are dried fruits (apricots, dates, figs etc) – or if you’re at home perhaps you could make yourself a smoothie using a little low fat yoghurt and fruit. -As Azizah said – drink lots and lots of water. The less water you drink, the more water your body retains i.e. you become bloated. Once you start drinking it regularly your bladder will get used to it and you won’t be rushing to the bathroom so frequently, and your body starts to feel ‘clogged up’ without the water. -DO NOT go for long periods without eating. Meaning don’t eat breakfast and think ‘I’ll be good and I son’t eat anything until the evening’. This is counter-productive. Your body goes into ‘starvation mode’ and actually tries to store as much fat as possible out of the food you do eat – i.e. your body absorbs more fat from the food than it normally would. Lastly – you must exercise – there is no other option. Controlling your diet alone does not work (believe me I tried it ). Like Azizah I go walking for about 30 minutes every day if I can, if not then at least every other day. If you can’t do that or you feel uncomfortable perhaps you could buy a work out video to do in the comfort of your own home. Take care Fee aman Allah, Amena |
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