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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Ways to be Humble |
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| amkamb |
| 02/14/04 at 23:21:49 |
| [slm], Respected brothers and sisters I am writing to ask you for a big big favour. Please tell me of any ways you may know of which help you to be humble. Ways that help you to be focused on the Hereafter and erase every single bit of pride that may be within us. Please! I hope you can help me here. Jazak Allah Khair! [slm] |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| superFOB |
| 02/15/04 at 04:28:36 |
| [slm] As muslims, we must be aware that all are actions must only be for the pleasure of Allah. Sounds simple, but its not. Humbleness in itself means nothing unless one considers the promise of Allah that those with kibr (arrogance) in their heart will not enter paradise. Arrogance, Allah (SWT) has attributed to Himself alone, and why not. There is no strength and no power except from Allah. All our deeds are imperiled if do not seek humility as was the way of the Prophet (SAW) and his companions. These are some tips that I have found useful. All of them are practical btw. I don't claim to practice all of them, but I do try. And I do know people who mashallah practice all of these and more. Talk about the greatness of Allah often, to your friends, family, even to yourself. Engage in zikr (while not in fard salaah). Give lots of dawah towards Allah and His rasool (SAW). Lots of humiliation here, very effective tool to become humble. Leave any position of power you hold in your community. Step down in favor of someone else. Try to contribute behind the scenes, but don't leave your duties either. Always, ALWAYS, consider anyone who professess laa ilaha illallaah to be better then yourself, regardless of their position/ethnicity/appearance/whatever. Hide your deeds. For example, since women are allowed to pray at home, pray at home sometimes. Always find excuse for your muslim brother/sister. 60 is the recommended number. Always look inward. Whenever you see some fault in your muslim sister/brother, look at your own faults and work towards removing the same. Never dictate, always request. Eat less, one meal a day should suffice. Fast often, whenever is convenient for your family that is. Whenever you feel being insulted/humiliated, never reciprocate. (but it should not be a criminal offence, mind you). Talk less, reflect more. Very difficult for most sisters btw. Pray tahajjud with consistency, very very important. If you are involved in any form of dawa effort, concentrate more on the lower class, blacks, latinos, other minorities. Sacrifice your needs for the benefit of your brothers/sisters. It takes a LOT of mujahida (effort) as you can well imagine. Put their (legal) desires before your (legal) rights. If you work, consider employment with an agency caring for the invalid, the infirm, and the terminally ill. Remember death, AT ALL TIMES. Forgive all your brothers/sisters before going to sleep. Be loyal to your husband and try to fulfil his wishes to your best ability. Remember that you can not even do nafl fast without the explicit/implicit permission of your husband. May Allah (SWT) take the kibr out of our hearts. |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| amkamb |
| 02/15/04 at 11:38:48 |
| [quote author=superFOB link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#1 date=02/15/04 at 04:28:36]Eat less, one meal a day should suffice. Fast often, whenever is convenient for your family that is. [/quote] Subhanallah! Thank you Brother for your most precious suggestions. I think these suggestions are among the best I've ever come across and I look forward to hearing more. In fact, I'm going to get a little note book and write all these invaluable tips. How exciting! And I'm going to keep referring to these notes everyday insha'allah. I had a question about the above suggestion. I am a mother of a 6 month old. I don't think it will be easy for me to eat just one meal a day. If I did not have a baby I would go ahead and do it. And as for the tahajjud prayer......I used to do it consistently before I got pregnant and had two kids. After having my kids, I find it very difficult to get up at night to do the night prayer. :( |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| se7en |
| 02/16/04 at 04:27:54 |
| as salaamu alaykum, [quote]Talk less, reflect more. Very difficult for most sisters btw. [/quote] :o hmmm a really interesting quote I heard recently was: don't be so humble. you're not that great. this is actually pretty deep if you think about it.. wasalaamu alaykum :) |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 02/16/04 at 05:02:22 |
| [quote author=superFOB link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#1 date=02/15/04 at 04:28:36][slm] Arrogance, Allah (SWT) has attributed to Himself alone, and why not. [/quote] [slm] Dude where did u get the above? :o Have I missed something? I don't think I've ever come across what u've written, so can u reference it? As for becoming more humble...Hm, I think one suggestion would be to remember the hadith that anyone with a certain amount of pride will not enter Jannah :o. Can u imagine that all ur good works could possibly come to nothing, and the place that u r striving for, u may never be able to reach/enter :o :( :( Btw, for awhile I've struggled with this hadith. It is so powerful and strong that it scares me, but it also makes me think that pride is obviously then a natural thing possibly for us humans to have, yet it likens us to Iblees. I also believe that if it is a natural feeling for us to have, then it surely is a feeling that a lot of people must possess and it must be a real struggle to remove it ??? Anyways... wa'salaam |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| timbuktu |
| 02/16/04 at 07:34:15 |
| [quote author=amkamb link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#2 date=02/15/04 at 11:38:48] I am a mother of a 6 month old. I don't think it will be easy for me to eat just one meal a day. If I did not have a baby I would go ahead and do it. And as for the tahajjud prayer......I used to do it consistently before I got pregnant and had two kids. After having my kids, I find it very difficult to get up at night to do the night prayer. :( [/quote] yes, brother superFOB has given fantastic advice, and you can follow whatever yo can from it. regarding the eating of only one meal a day, naturally don't try it while the baby is young, and also if you get weak at some stage. I do not recall the exact words af a Hadith about someone wanting to fast every day, and he was eventually brought down to fasing one day, and not doing so the next. and when he grew old he regretted making such a decision. You see, our deen is moderation. and for tahajjud prayer, when you cannot do it, but you do get up for fajr, if you can, get up a little before fajr, and even if you make only one sajda, and ask Allah (swt) for whatever you want (shadow under HIS throne on tha day of Judgment, Firdaws-ea3alaa, company of the prophet [saw]], insha1Allah you will get it. Do you remember an earlier post of yours, in answer to which it was proved that the ordinary actions of yours are also 3ibadah. You feeding your baby is 3ibadah; you cooking for you family is 3ibadah, and many other things besides. Allah (swt) is so Kind, so Merciful, when we eat, HE counts it as 3ibadah provided we follow certain rules. Subhan`Allah, I read the posts here, and look at myself and see that i am in such good company where everyone is already above me but is still trying to improve him/ her/ self. Don't be too worried, with the right niyyah, and if our actions are according to Sunnah, we gain closeness to Allah. salaampeaceshalom wrote: [quote]:on Feb 15th, 2004, 4:28am, superFOB wrote: Arrogance, Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala) has attributed to Himself alone, and why not. _____________________________________________________________________ Dude where did u get the above? Have I missed something? I don't think I've ever come across what u've written, so can u reference it?wa'salaam [/quote] brother superFOB is referring to the Hadith-e-Qudsi about takabbur, whic he has translated as Arrogance. |
| 02/17/04 at 00:05:38 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| superFOB |
| 02/16/04 at 08:33:46 |
| [wlm] One little thing, all the advice I wrote down, I myself recieved from a lot of people, and that too from a huge spectrum. I would rather not take credit for it. Most of it can be backed up with direct references from the quran/hadith and the rest can, at least, be classified as mustahab. [quote author=se7en link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#3 date=02/16/04 at 04:27:54] :o hmmm [/quote] Mea culpa. Slip of the fingers, won't happen again, inshallah. [quote author=se7en link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#3 date=02/16/04 at 04:27:54] a really interesting quote I heard recently was: don't be so humble. you're not that great. this is actually pretty deep if you think about it.. wasalaamu alaykum :)[/quote] Don't be so humble, you're not that great. --Golda Meir One of my favorite maulana said: jin ko samjhana thaa woh samajh gaey, aur jo na samjhay unhain samjhana nahin. -super "keep it simple" FOB |
| 02/16/04 at 08:56:04 |
| superFOB |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| lucid9 |
| 02/16/04 at 17:05:16 |
| [slm] have a really stressful occupation, particularly when you are a naturally stupid person... for example, being a total moron and by having a really stressful occupation my life is a neverending serious of humiliations and disasters...:)... everyday i find new proof that i am an idiot...its like, gee hyper if you had any sense whatsoever you wouldn't have done that....or....hyper...you're a miracle...you're the only brain dead person walking around! being stupid is so problematic...that you have to start asking forgiveness for being so stupid..because being stupid has bad ramifications...you're laughing...but still... so if want to be continually humbled by life...try doing something you are not any good at...and suffer through the countless set of disasters and failures...maybe in the end it won't be so bad :) ease breeds complacency and complacency lets the ego grow... unfortunately it is the usually our failures and not successess which keep our egos remotely in check (although in my dua i always assert the contrary...;) alhumdulillah life sucks ;) ;) !! |
| 02/16/04 at 17:16:57 |
| lucid9 |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| timbuktu |
| 02/17/04 at 00:18:13 |
| [slm] hyper, is that yourself you were writing about? ever since i was 20, i have had this feeling of inadequacy. As if I don't deserve to survive even. Allah (swt) has given me so much, and yet i think my glass is half empty. no hyper! life does not and should not suck. I realise it now when i have nearly reached the end. I also have that feeling but in reality I am blessed to have so much. Even to have a stressful job. I have surived it for more than a year and a half. Granted that my eyes and rest of my health is in bad shape, but that too is my fault, and I know it. la ilaha illa anta Subhanaka inni kuntu minaz-zwalimeen when I look at those below myself in dunya, I should feel humble, because there are many who deserve better, but I have more dunya than them. when I look at those above me in eemaan and taqwa, I should feel humble, for there is so much to catch up with. wa assalam |
| 02/17/04 at 06:45:18 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| amatullah |
| 02/17/04 at 00:26:19 |
| I think just contemplating the magnificence of Allah's creations can feel humbeling. Watch the journey from the milky way down to earth and then down to an atom! http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| faith |
| 02/17/04 at 01:01:57 |
| [slmY thanks sister amatullah for that excellent website! :D I always feel humbled and minuscule whenever I read about our universe, and how it is always expanding. When I think about the size of this universe and compare it against earth, and humans, I realise that I am even smaller than a speck of dust, relatively speaking - a definite humbling reminder. Nonetheless, like SalampeaceShalom, I worry about pride in me...coz, even if a person has pride the size of a seed of mustard will not enter paradise (based on an authentic hadith). :o Imagine that! I know my pride is at least the size of an apple! I need some help to rid of my pride!!! Help! But then again, its a fine line of being humble and having low self esteem...I can't remember who posted that topic and where, but how do you get rid of your pride without losing your self esteem? :-) |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| tahirah |
| 02/21/04 at 03:43:43 |
| as salaamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullah i think we become arrogant when things are going well right? so maybe we can try this..... Remember when you were going through rocky times, and you had to turn to Allah. He Brought you out of your rough times, not you - so what are you so proud of? bebzi 4 thought [] ma'a salaama |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| amkamb |
| 02/25/04 at 00:44:26 |
| [quote author=superFOB link=board=madrasa;num=1076818910;start=0#1 date=02/15/04 at 04:28:36] Leave any position of power you hold in your community. Step down in favor of someone else. Try to contribute behind the scenes, but don't leave your duties either. [/quote] [slm], I don't hold any position of power. However, I do find that I dominate my group. I dislike having to always take the initiative to remind, encourage or inform. For a change I would love to be in the back seat and just listen. As if I am not even there. I want to contribute behind the scene. But this is hard since most of the sisters want to be behind the scene too. Any suggestions on what I should do? |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| timbuktu |
| 02/25/04 at 01:08:35 |
| [slm] you already started by taking off your degrees from your signature. You have a degree in education. Now "you" should know how to make people start thinking for themselves and taking responsibilities. I am the direct type, but you know your group. Which person will respond to a clear message from you, and which one can be coaxed into learning to take the initiative, that is for you to evaluate and decide. |
| 02/25/04 at 01:13:02 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| amkamb |
| 02/25/04 at 11:52:17 |
| [slm], Thanks all of you for your excellent advice. Br. timbuktu, I must say you are very sharp in your observations. And your advice is as always very good. When you say something, I am sure to listen with much eagerness. I was wondering if there are supplications that our Nabi [saw]taught which will help us to remove all this pride that may be within us? Also, I would like to share something which is pretty effective in making me feel humble. Every night before I go to sleep, I ask my husband to forgive me. I may be right about a lot of things during our arguments, but just asking my husband to forgive me even if I am right, helps me to remove this pride inside me. Another thing is to obey my husband, just to please him, even if it doesn't make sense. :D |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| wes_ak |
| 02/25/04 at 13:16:31 |
| i took these quotes from answers on islam-qa.com for my own self, see if they help you: Another remedy is to remember that he and urine came out of the same place; that he began as a despised drop of sperm and he will end up as a rotten corpse, and that in between he is a vessel for feces. So what does he have to feel so proud and arrogant about?! “Allaah is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on people.” Allaah is to be acknowledged for beauty that bears no resemblance to anything else, and He is to be worshipped by means of the beauty which He loves in words, deeds and attitudes. He loves His slaves to beautify their tongues with the truth, to beautify their hearts with sincere devotion (Ikhlaas), love, repentance and trust in Him, to beautify their faculties with obedience, and to beautify their bodies by showing His blessings upon them in their clothing and by keeping them pure and free of any filth, dirt or impurity, by removing the hairs which should be removed, by circumcision, and by clipping the nails. Thus they recognize Allaah through these qualities of beauty and seek to draw close to Him through beautiful words, deeds and attitudes. They acknowledge Him for the beauty which is His attribute and they worship Him through the beauty which He has prescribed and His religion. “In the body there is a piece of flesh: if it is sound the whole body will be sound and if it is corrupt then the whole body will be corrupt.” Outward physical acts are not valid and acceptable unless they are accompanied by appropriate actions of the heart, because the heart is like the king and the physical faculties are like his troops. If the king is evil his troops will also be evil. |
| Re: Ways to be Humble |
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| sofia |
| 02/27/04 at 10:35:33 |
| As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, Excellent topic and reminder. Narrated Abu Hurairah: Prophet Muhammad (S) said, [i]"If anyone of you looks at a person who has been made superior to him in property and (in good) appearance, then he should also look at the one who is inferior to him, and to whom he has been made superior."[/i] Saheeh Bukhaari I hope I don't get off topic, but reminds me how much more work we need to do in our communities (for Muslims and non-Muslims). I mean, something like volunteering in the inner-city or at a shelter or tutoring -- in addition to the masjid and being steadfast in our acts of worship/'ibaadah -- can make a big difference. There's always someone with less than we have. So share what you have. It's one of the best and least used forms of da'wah. I'm reminding myself first. Oh yeah, and it's definitely "humbling." :) |
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