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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their marriages |
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| jaihoon |
| 03/01/04 at 23:21:14 |
| 200 UAE couples headed for Umrah to save their marriages (By a staff reporter khaleejtimes.com 1 March 2004 ABU DHABI - Instead of heading for the court to split, many married couples in UAE pray to the Almighty Allah to solve their marital problems, media reports say. Thousands of faithful recently travelled to Saudi Arabia to perform Umrah in a bid to save their troubled marriages. The holy pilgrimage has helped more than 200 families, mostly UAE nationals. It has been proved that Haj and Umrah are effective in stopping divorce when marital problems outside the family atmosphere. According to sociologists the rate of divorce among nationals as well as marriages with foreign women is high, though the population is less compared to expatriates in the country. This, they said, could affect the cultural heritage in the UAE where expatriates constitute 85 per cent of the total (over three million) population, thus representing the highest rate in the region. According to Fatima Sirri, Chairperson of the Women's Association in Dubai, who offers free counselling, Islam is the highest authority in solving all problems. "Youth were no longer shy or feel ashamed to solicit my advice," she said. She added that "it was certainly we use the religion as an authority in offering the advice". Official estimated figures show that as many as 258 nationals filed a suite of divorce in 2002 compared to 135 law suites in 1995. The figure could be normal in the West, but in the UAE it is a matter of concern and worry for the officials, who provide all facilities including material incentives and bear the costs of wedding parties with the aim of marriage and this increases the number of national population. Sociologists said that the mightiest upheavals and the oil boom had changed the lifestyle of large number of nationals, who start to follow Western customs that encouraged them to marry foreign women, who are less adherent to the traditions. This means that many national girls would remain spinsters though they are university degree holders. In an attempt to end this problem the UAE has set up the marriage fund. Its objectives are to help couples tie the knot and lessen the lavish wedding expenses. |
| 03/01/04 at 23:22:02 |
| jaihoon |
| Re: 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their mar |
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| theOriginal |
| 03/02/04 at 13:05:01 |
| [slm] SubhanAllah..what's going on with the world momma?! (black eyed peas voice!) Someone told me (and I didn't believe them, and they didn't have proof, so I can return to my astonishing level of blissful ignorance) that the MUSLIM divorce rate in Canada is like 60 something per cent. Even if it isn't true there are so many cases of marriages falling apart that I know of personally, that it makes me wonder. Do you guys think it's because it just recently that people have been having so many marital problems or is it because people always had abundant marital problems but it's only recently that people (i think it's safe to say the majority of whom are women) have recently found a voice, especially since in many cases they are not financially dependent on their spouses anymore. Scary scary scary. May Allah protect us all from every kind of fitnah. Wasalaam. |
| Re: 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their mar |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 03/02/04 at 21:14:05 |
| asalaam alakum, this is my opionion, not actual research or anything. I think its because men are still living with the mentality of 200 years ago, when women didn't know their rights in Islam, and Women are living 1400 years ago, where they know exactly (or mostly for the most part) what their rights are in Islam. Women know that they are not to be treated like slaves, they don't have to cook and clean if they don't want to, its not their job Islamically. They don't have to put up with a guy yelling and screaming and hitting his wife and children. They don't have to worry about "what will people say if you get a divorce" they don't have to worry about "no one will marry a lady who is divorced or worse divorced with children" They don't have to worry about were they will get the money to support themselves if they leave this man who is not treating her right because he is not following the Islam; the sunnah and the Quran. Women are smarter, and they don't worry anymore. They know their rights and they know that Allah will take care of them when they make the right choice. Now, I am not saying tthat all divorces are the fault of the men, for surely there are women out there who are not doing what they are supposed to be doing Islamically while their husbands are. I would say that divorces that are occuring now are about 75% the husbands fault, the other 20% are the women's fault, and maybe 5% are the families fault. If EVERYONE follows Islam, we would have a very happy Ummah with NO divorce...w'salaam. |
| Re: 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their mar |
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| jannah |
| 03/03/04 at 01:45:46 |
| [quote] If EVERYONE follows Islam, we would have a very happy Ummah with NO divorce...w'salaam.[/quote] True following Islam as a goal fee sabeelillah unifies a couple and inshallah minimizes some problems, gives each person their rights etc.. but sometimes couples who are both very good Muslims are just not compatible and for very good reasons they divorce. Allah allowed divorce for a reason. Many very good Muslims including Sahabah! have divorced in their lifetimes. [wlm] |
| Re: 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their mar |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 03/03/04 at 20:09:32 |
| asalam alakum sr. Jannah, yes, thats true. I take that back. I guess what I should have said was "If everyone followed Islam, than divorce would be alot less". Your right, Allah made it halal for a reason; because HE knew that there will be certain situations that it will be needed in. |
| Re: 200 couples headed for Umrah to save their mar |
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| superFOB |
| 03/04/04 at 06:39:59 |
| [slm] Here's my lay opinion. Women in pre-islamic hijaz worked and were not total slaves as they come out to be in some accounts. But there were some very hideous practices like infanticide and stuff. Islam gave women rights when there were little. Made those rights into inviolable laws instead of women being left at the mercy of fathers or husbands. But at the same time, put a lot of emphasis on family, loyalty, aadaab, rights, and obligations, in fact no body told them. As time passed, these laws became blurred but the structure of society remained on firm ground as the building blocks have already been placed. The elements emphasised by the deen transmogrified into mere cultural practices. Enter the new age, the feminist era. Muslim women find that they have been slaving all along for nothing, they burn the veil. They didn't know what are the demands of deen and their husbands were no better, if not worse. But being stuck in a men's world, most compromised out of fear. But the veil is gone. Fast forward to modern times and muslims start leaving their lands, not to spread the word of Allah, but to find greener pastures. Now the oppressive yoke of the culture was also lifted from the daughters of islam. The fear was gone, so they packed up and left. The building blocks have been eaten by the brackish waters of cultural practice. It is a classical example of not replacing the culture with something better. People learnt of all their rights that the constitution and their religion gives them, but failed to learn about their obligations, sacrifice, patience, and perseverance. Men are still pressing buttons that have long been dead. And women, weighing their (15 year education + 5 year career) against their 5 year marriages, chose what is obviously they have invested more upon. Reason for this calamity is simple, no deen, neither knowledge nor practice. Compromise is out and hardline is in. Even religious women demanding divorce because the husband is not practicing enough! (I hope I worded that last one correctly). To put this into perspective, I have heard a lot of heart wrenching stories, and have witnessed a few of them first hand as well, all within a span of just a couple of years! It is not only the stats which are scary, the facts are hairier. I've got stories to tell. |
| 03/04/04 at 06:43:56 |
| superFOB |
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