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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Studying abroad.... |
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| Aurora |
| 03/07/04 at 22:14:04 |
| [slm] I hope you are all well :) Here's something thats been on my mind the past few weeks. And I was just wondering if there are any sisters here who have left home to study (on your own without a mahrem) and what it was like for you and if you'd recommend it. Whether it was halfway across the world or a city 3hrs drive away from family, I'm interested in what you have to say about your experience... |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Kathy |
| 03/08/04 at 09:19:34 |
| [slm] :-*I wasn't a Muslim when I left home to study. :)However, I was a very good girl with an excellent way of life in the purest form. :oAt college I learned about drugs, drinking, partying..etc.. It is very very hard to escape. you may not be involved, but it is all around you. :-)If I had a daughter, I would not let her leave home, or I would go with her, or make her stay with a Muslim family. ;-)In fact, this is my plans for my son. No double standards here! |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Barr |
| 03/11/04 at 17:44:15 |
| [wlm] warahmatullah, Alhamdulillah, khair, inshaAllah... all is good :) A couple of years ago, I left home to study halfway across the world, and I think its one of the best years of my life, alhamdulillah. It helped me to mature more as my horizons are expanded through living in a foreign country; its adjustments, responsibilities, challenges, and new things learnt when you're living far away from family, friends and things you're familiar with. Being independent increases the confidence and reliance that I have in Allah with many issues that I have to go through there. And one of the best things that I found while I am there, are the beautiful hearts whom I have made close friendships with. Those who help remind me of Allah, and help me develop to be the person that I am, alhamdulillah. Certainly, it is something recommended. However, with conditions: 1) Niyyah: One knows why he/ she wants to study... which leads to mardhatillah (pleasure of Allah). 2) Focused: With a clear and sincere, niyyah, he/ she is focused with what he/she wants to do, and is not easily distracted. 3) Maturity & Responsibility: have shown sufficient maturity and responsibility towards Allah, and oneself. 4) Safety: The institution of learning and living accomodation are safe places to learn and live. There must also exist a community of Muslims where one's deen would develop together with the knowledge that would be gained. Allahua'lam :) P.S. The above recommendation may change when I have children coz I may be a tough momma. ;) |
| 04/23/04 at 23:26:58 |
| Barr |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Nomi |
| 03/11/04 at 21:21:55 |
| [slm] [quote author=Kathy link=board=sis;num=1078715644;start=0#1 date=03/08/04 at 09:19:34] :-*I wasn't a Muslim when I left home to study. :)However, I was a very good girl with an excellent way of life in the purest form. :oAt college I learned about drugs, drinking, partying..etc.. It is very very hard to escape. you may not be involved, but it is all around you. :-)If I had a daughter, I would not let her leave home, or I would go with her, or make her stay with a Muslim family. ;-)In fact, this is my plans for my son. No double standards here![/quote] Masha'Allah, then why didn't you add anything to that old thread "away from home and alone" that i started? Anywho...... cyber salutes to our respected mama mod. Me second her suggestion! Once i talked to a turkish sister who shared an incident when she went to US of A for studies. She is in her late twenties. She told me that once her female flatmate's boyfriend was visiting her and both of them started doing extreme haraam stuff! Whats even more disgusting is that, both of them asked her to join them >:( Not generalizing, am just sharing. Although i'm against that but even if you leave home for studies, make sure that "no" bad fish stays with you, Muslim or non-muslims! One compromise makes room for another! May Allah protect us all, ameen! [slm] -backwards desi ps: Sis Kathy, me likes your gender equality thingy. |
| 03/11/04 at 21:24:04 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 03/11/04 at 21:55:02 |
| [slm] I'm looking forward to graduating and going to teach in a country where objecting to the activites Bro nomi just mentioned isnt considerd totally off base. Yep, if you study in a western country and you have a room mate thats not abnormal, actually it is considered abnormal to take it hard and even to act like youd rather not have to put up with it. A few years ago at my university there was even a pornografic movie made in one of the dorms and this got advertised all over the nation, but there werent any real policy changes because of it. ugg, I have such a hard time sometimes not hauling off and calling my floor mates a buch of hoochi mamas. They have all types of academic and interest communities, but I've yet to see a "chastity living" situation on this campus. I guess its just not that popular. I just keep telling myself why I am here and waht I can do when I finish with this degree. And without that degree, I couldnt ever get away, and so I just keep at it. And I'm good at teaching english anyway, so it aint a bad rout out of this hoochi joint. |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| zusterNL |
| 03/12/04 at 03:16:22 |
| [slm] Sister, altough I am new in Islam I know that a woman is not allowed to travel without a mahram. What if you die in the plane? Your intention was to do something Allah swt has forbid! Please forgive me for my bad english I hope you understand. [wlm] :-) |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Kathy |
| 03/12/04 at 08:46:27 |
| [wlm] [quote]Masha'Allah, then why didn't you add anything to that old thread "away from home and alone" that i started? [/quote] I just do not have the time to read all the posts...except in this section. Whenever someone wants me to make a comment on a topic, they will IM me and give me the link. Feel free to do that in the future. |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Barr |
| 03/12/04 at 10:17:44 |
| [wlm] warahmatullah, [quote]Sister, altough I am new in Islam I know that a woman is not allowed to travel without a mahram. What if you die in the plane? Your intention was to do something Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala has forbid![/quote] There are differences in opinions with regards to women travelling alone without mahrem. The issue is wide, and cover various perspectives, which includes the reason, duration and circumstances for travelling etc. To be brief, and specifically for the case mentioned in this thread, you may refer to the hadith in Sahih Al-Bukhari: “If you live long, you will see the woman travel from Hirah (a city in Iraq) to circumambulate the Ka`bah fearing none but Allah.” This hadith stipulates that there would come a time, when travel would be secure such that a woman would be able to travel alone. This hadith complements other hadiths which on the surface, prohibits women travelling alone. However, the context of the latter hadiths, refer to the lack of security of travelling alone at that time, where a woman's honour and safety would be very much be at stake. Nevertheless, it would be better for a woman to travel with a mahrem, or a group of people that are trustworthy. As always, please refer to a scholar that you trust, for further explaination. I am just sharing with you what I have learnt. Allahua'lam :) |
| 04/23/04 at 23:26:23 |
| Barr |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| jannah |
| 03/15/04 at 18:57:21 |
| slm, interesting...i think everyone wants to protect and shelter their kids, but to be honest there's stuff going on everywhere, even in your backyard, and even with muslims. sometimes the tighter you hold on to them the more they will go behind your back to do whatever they want. there has to come a point where you have done your best to educate and nurture your child islamically and can trust them to make their own decisions. there's a hadith that says something like you play with your child for 7 years, then for 7 years after that -you educate and discipline them, and for the 7 after --you are their friends and confidantes. interesting eh.. study books on early childhood development.. kids need to play and feel safe and use their imagination to develop normally... the next stages of growth are intellectual and conceptual.. and believe me kids at 14 are already young people with set minds and dispositions. ask any parent of a teenager about trying to change them to make them "good muslims" after 15.. but anyway.. about the sister... if ur talking about going to a college and university? i'd say u need to find out about the msa there, the muslim community, see if it's active.. if there are alot of resources and islamic activities.. see if you can get muslim roomates or a single, or better yet share an apt with muslim girls. the dorm environment is really bad on ur imaan unless u have alot of support. it's all about your environment and friends and you need to make it as beneficial as possible for you. u'd be surprised about how many muslims have gotten into islam because they ended up going to a school with a really good msa and changed during that time..so it's not all bad.. if ur talking about going somewhere for islamic studies, i would say definitely go.. 3 hours or across the world, don't even hesitate.. it may be hard, u may go thru some difficult things, but it is the best experience of your life.. |
| 03/15/04 at 19:00:37 |
| jannah |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Aurora |
| 04/21/04 at 11:28:02 |
| [slm] JazakAllah for taking the time to replies and even send messages. I'm sorry its taken me so long to get back to you. At the moment I am in my last year of a BSc, which I hope to finish by Dec. 2005 inshaAllah. I've always wanted to study medicine as far back as I can remember, but the schools closest to me are proving to be very difficult to get into, and though i've always been hesistant to the idea of leaving home for medicine, its been something I've been thinking more and more about recently. My plan is to apply further afield (England/Ireland/US....maybe s.africa) next year and see where those applications take me. Thank you again for your advice. |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Shahida |
| 04/22/04 at 06:30:47 |
| [slm] sis! I am in S.Africa. Contact me if you want the ins and outs of medicine here! And btw where are you? May Allah guide you and protect you. Salam Shahida :-) |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Rabia |
| 04/23/04 at 16:59:04 |
| [slm] I'm glad this was brought up, as I was just online looking into this very topic. More than anything (except pleasing Allah [SWTA] ofcourse) I want to study and live abroad. I wish to study at a University in the Middle East, like Riyad, Cairo, UAE...you get the meaning. My concern is that I am not married and haven't a mahrem. Does anyone know if it's all right if you're among a group (3 or 4) of sisters? :-) :-) :-) :-) Sister Barr, my I ask where you studied? I love hear stories of trips abroad!!! ~Rabia |
| Re: Studying abroad.... |
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| Barr |
| 04/23/04 at 23:25:01 |
| [wlm] warahmatullah :) [quote]Sister Barr, my I ask where you studied? I love hear stories of trips abroad!!! [/quote] Alhamdulillah.... I lived & studied in Liverpool, UK ...with lots of bittersweet memories. Surprise, surprise :) |
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