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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| What was the hardest part after coming to Islam |
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| Caraj |
| 03/30/04 at 08:10:49 |
| I was curious what folks hardest part to overcome after choosing Islam? Guess this would be for the converts/reverts :) What was the most difficult for you and how did you overcome it? Was it the prayers? Waking up so early for the first one? Was it for a sister, covering in public or around non Muslim family? Perhaps telling your family or giving up movies, other activities or pork??? Not celebrating holidays you use to? Thank you in advance for sharing. |
| 03/30/04 at 08:13:05 |
| Caraj |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| Kathy |
| 03/30/04 at 09:18:37 |
| Becoming a Muslim in the day to day life was the hardest for me. After accepting that there was no diety except Allah and Muhammad being a Prophet, it was easy to take the shahadah. Then living it took me about 10 years before I finally covered the basics. Insha Allah, Allah swt will give me longer to do more than the basics... No doubt, holiday time is hard, not the religious aspects, but the family traditional times and Mascierelli's seasoned Porkloin and bacon in the morning... Not socializing,dating men and going out to nightclubs, was initially, very hard to stop. (I was single and in my twenties when I became Muslim) All of a sudden I belonged nowhere. My friends were not the best type of people to hang out with and my family just thought I had been brainwashed and was going to join a cult. (Aftermath of the Moonies and Jim Jones) I had not made my ties with the Muslim community and spent the first couple of Eids alone. May Allah swt reward those Muslims who 'took' me in. The early prayers were impossible for me to do. I would fall asleep in the middle of them. However, once I asked Allah swt for help, I never had the problem again. The scarf...at the time, pre scarf, it seemed really impossible to do. Once I began, I found it was not all that bad... and now I like it! At the time covering infront of non Muslim family men (ie inlaws, roomates,) who saw me everyday, it seemed mute to cover infront of them. Looking back now, Allah took care of all of that for me through moves, job relocations...etc... I wish I could tell you that I overcame all of this the moment I said my shahadah. Alas, may Allah swt orgive me, I was a bit ornary... and it took years. Subhannah Allah, i am glad I choose to become a Muslim first and then choose to work on all the other stuff. I can't imagine where my life would be if I did not become Muslim until I was a practicing Muslim. |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| amika |
| 03/30/04 at 16:32:16 |
| [slm], After I embraced Islam, my entire life changed. I gave up a lot of things, including the friendship of friends who I had grown attached to. The hardest part was dealing with the hostility from my parents, especially my mother who is very much against Islam. The next thing I found very hard was after I had my children. They take up a lot of my time and I am unable to do as much as I used to before I had them. And of course I must include the hard hard part of holding my tongue! :P |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| muslimah853 |
| 04/02/04 at 12:00:05 |
| [slm] What Kathy said. Day to day living. For alot of new shahadas, they will have similar issues, but particular things will vary from person to person. I had alot of trouble with covering and praying--even though I believed very heartily in doing these things. I didn't have too much difficulty with my family or friends, for the most part they respected my right to do what I was doing even if they didn't always agree with it. I think I can say that for me, making the leap from belief to implementation--not, of course, that I can say that I have achieved total implementation--but there is a cord that needs to be cut, and it doesn't always happen at the moment one takes shahada--or sometimes not even immediately after. I guess it's like knowing you're in a bad relationship and that you need to get out vs. taking the leap and actually leaving--if that makes any sense. While you're still there you may be totally convinced that you need to leave but you still enjoy the perks that may come with having a companion. Overall, though, I think working on those non-physical aspects of Islam are in reality much harder. I struggled with a hijab for a long time, but al hamdulillah, for the most part once you have it licked you have it licked, insha'allah. Other internal aspects are more constant struggles--controlling the tongue, learning to have patience and trust in Allah, guarding the heart from various undesirable states. These things are constant struggles, one often finds that you take many steps forward and then take some steps backward and then have to start all over again. Typcially these aspects require constant vigilance. This, at least has been my experience. Others' mileage may vary :-) |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| Nadeem |
| 04/07/04 at 06:12:04 |
| [slm] Just thought I'd share my two cents, If you'd permit me, although coming from a slightly different angle. Perhaps a bit of background first will help to put in context... I was born a Muslim into a Muslim family. We were taught to read Arabic at a very early age, solely so we would be able to recite the Quran. I remember asking my mother when I was very young why we were learning Arabic words and sounds but not what they meant. She said 'when you grow older you can learn what it means, but for know we will just learn this'. Maybe this is true I think for many muslims for whom Arabic is not their first language, but there is the danger of becoming unable for the individual to learn and discover directly the beauty of the Quran. Anyway to get to the point, I decided finally to one day get a copy of the Quran I would be able to understand, in English. Since I started reading it, I could not put it down, everyday wanting to read more and more. Finally I finished it, and a change occurred. I felt the urge to pray. Before this praying had been sporadic at best, mostly Eid prayers or sadly Janazzah prayers, or because "everyone else was doing it" prayers. After "waking up" to the truth, I "recommitted" myself to Islam. Around this time, my friends also started noticing the change in me. I was suprised by their various reactions, not least because, the Muslim friends seemed more hostile than non-Muslim friends. From comments like "Yeah, that's great but just take it easy, dont go overboard" to "You havent started going to talks have you?! My cousin went all weird for a couple of years when he started going to talks" to the downright incredible "Hmmm, have you really thought about this? Nows not a really good time to be getting into this, you seen all that stuff about Guantanamo Bay" The last comment was in reaction to my mentioning waking up for Fajr! Other reactions were more muted but positive reactions had been bit lukewarm. I know its not the same as courageous people who've converted from non-Muslim environments. I'm still impressed at people's strengths to give up their old way of life. Alhamdulillah.. [wlm] |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 04/07/04 at 22:37:00 |
| [slm] When I decided that I needed to be overtly muslim, it wasnt that hard because I had been gradually takeing general religious exception to things around me that werent good things to do, but I think old aquaintances were an ordeal for me. I would try to be kind but when it became aparent that association with them would bring me into things i didnt want to be involved with I had to be cold, and down right mean, but I just had to remind myself of the real dangers of that lifestyle and how it would put me in vulnerable situations. I think it was hard for me that other muslims were allowed their differences with one another but my islamic background was called a lie. I sort of had my delusions of acceptance and it was hard to see them erode. But these trial led me to study more, and ther was not one of these trials that failed to proove to me the truth of the Quran and the wisdom of the sunnah. And I am proud that I have stuck to my guns, because the more these trials come upon me the more I am conviced taht the people I do turn to for guidance are leading me correctly. Oh and being alone a lot eventually gets easier too. |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| rkhan |
| 04/08/04 at 09:27:01 |
| [slm] [quote] I can't imagine where my life would be if I did not become Muslim until I was a practicing Muslim. [/quote] Kathy that really re-uh-lly touched me....know why? Because I used to be one of those ppl who believed in the All-or None Law. I used to be genuinely perplexed why some reverts sometimes "held back' from giving their all to the deen...until a really knowledgeable bro explained the phenomenon to me. He said that when a person takes the shahadah, it is the duty of those around them to tell them that at that moment they have a clean slate...and from that moment on, their good and bad deeds will be on a scale. There isn't a single moment of salvation or damnation [except of course shirk and what Allaah wills]. Rather, it's a matter of good deeds outweighing the bad ones, and of course all the while one must "race towards salvation and forgiveness from Allaah." Subhaanallah...this made such a deep impression on me. The Qur'aan asks the believers to help one another in al-birr (righteousness/good deeds) and taqwa and I'm filled with remorse and regret for all the times I lost out on the rewards of doing this, because of my ambivalence towards those who weren't completely practicing the deen..... Bro Nadeem, I can TOTALLY relate to you. Chances are the ppl who are asking you not to go overboard will want the VERY BEST for this life: the best brands to wear, the best car to flaunt, the classiest education, the cushiest house, the prettiest wife.... All this for a period which we [i] know [/i] has an end in death. And for hasanaat --good deeds -- which are our provisions for eternity, we're asked to skimp on our efforts! Need more proof that we live in a topsy turvy world??! May Allaah swt bless you with the light of 'eemaan and 'ilm and an enthusiasm for the deen and may He accept our every effort --big and small -- in HIs way. Many duas.... Your sister in Islaam |
| 04/08/04 at 09:37:44 |
| rkhan |
| Re: What was the hardest part after coming to Isla |
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| sisterhood |
| 05/08/04 at 14:08:15 |
| Asalamu Alaykum wa rahmtaullahi wa barakatu Like most converts I was so worried about all the before mentioned things like covering, giving up music, movies and much more and becasue of this it took me a while to convert I spent two years studying Islam and when I look back now those two years where not so much about studying but about me coping with all the major changes until one day I could not denie it any longer and I had to begin my life as a muslim and take shahada. The feeling after that was so amazing and the only words that I feel can capture those feeling are inner peace and happiness. After that all the things that I was so worried about just rolled off me like water. My family kicked me out because I decided to cover and all my friends no longer wanted to hang around me because I wasn't fun any more because I did n't want ot party and mix with strange men. In spite of all that and much more I can't rememver a time that I was happier or more content in my life. Alhumdoliilah things where made easy for me and Allah filled my heart with faith, hope, peace and contententment and having all of that made it easy to deal with everyitng that came my way! That is my story Fee aman Allah |
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