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| Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| jannah |
| 04/09/04 at 02:45:08 |
| Ordering a Pizza in 2008 Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?" Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order." Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,it's 6102049998-45-54610." Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@ home.net Which number are you calling from, sir?" Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir." Customer: "The HSS, what is that?" Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time" Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas." Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." Customer: "Whaddya mean?" Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?" Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it." Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then." Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99." Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also." Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?" Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday" Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!" Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society? Customer: (Speechless) Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke". Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!" |
| Re: Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| yumna |
| 04/09/04 at 05:00:57 |
| hey nice joke !..but seriously if this is going 2 b the situation in 2008 i think i like the present more .... |
| Re: Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| se7en |
| 04/09/04 at 09:48:23 |
... and Pizza Hut would be owned by Lockheed Martin. :'( |
| Re: Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 04/09/04 at 10:34:07 |
| i can't believe pizza hut is still in business. It is horrible stuff |
| Re: Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 04/09/04 at 11:31:08 |
| [slm]... Yikes. That's freaky. But no worries....by 2020, we'll be able to replicate our own pizzas from home. If I want to order pizza from Pizza Hut, I'd have to order from the one that's 30 minutes away instead of the one that's 2 blocks away if I want it delivered. Something about district lines. Goodness sakes....it's just 2 blocks!!! Heck I'll pay for the gas even........NOT. Homemade is way better and more halaal then theirs. Ma-assalamah..... |
| Re: Feel like ordering a pizza? |
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| Nadeem |
| 04/09/04 at 12:07:17 |
| [slm] In the words of Mummyji: (heavy Indian accent): "Pizza Hut? Pizza Hut? Why for you want go Pizza Hut? I can make it at home for cheaper! None of this english rubbish, cheese, sheeze, I make it with paneer! And why you need this deep pan?I make it thin crispy" Home made pizza? Roti smeared with tomato ketchup and paneer. Errrr.... yum? :) [wlm] |
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