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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/10/04 at 19:08:38 |
| [slm] How would you guys describe a righteous wife? |
| 04/11/04 at 14:04:36 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Question |
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| sal |
| 04/11/04 at 03:00:07 |
| The wife of righteous husband :) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/12/04 at 16:05:22 |
| [slm] Ok :D so how would you describe a righteous husband? |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/12/04 at 16:40:43 |
[color=Green] [center]Who gives attention to his wife Eats well what she has cooked Praises her work ,food etc Gives full confidence and trust Doesnt stay out of home till late night without reason Assists at work at home Doesnt forget stories she has told him Knows her favourite cosmetics :) :) :) That is enough for now [/center] [/color] |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| jaihoon |
| 04/12/04 at 16:42:35 |
| ??? Is there a thing as Right-eous wife/husband? ;) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/12/04 at 18:14:51 |
| Yes if they fear ALLAH and do what they are supposed to be as spouse :) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Nadeem |
| 04/13/04 at 06:29:53 |
| Loyalty and compassion. [wlm] |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/14/04 at 19:44:14 |
| [slm] Thanks guys. Do you guys remember the hadith describing a good wife, I cant seem to find it. :-) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 04/14/04 at 20:25:23 |
| [slm] Please, I don't mean any offense by this statement, but .. this is an odd question. Is a righteous wife any different from a righteous woman? Perhaps you meant to ask the qualities of a good Muslim wife? Or perhaps you meant to ask the qualities of righteous women? |
| 04/14/04 at 20:26:22 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 04/14/04 at 20:34:19 |
| [slm] I think y'all are just evading the question. |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/15/04 at 19:01:48 |
| [slm] No offense taken bro :) I think a righteous woman makes a righteous wife which is the same as a good muslim wife. Isnt it??? Are they different? |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 04/16/04 at 02:05:52 |
| [slm] There's a book by the name of "The Ideal Muslimah." (click [url=http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b6068.html] here [/url] to see the book) I highly recommend it for those sisters who haven't already read it. That book is also the answer to your question Sr. Sima, insha Allah :) For the brothers, there's also "The Ideal Muslim" by the same author. (you can find it [url=http://store.yahoo.com/islamicbookstore-com/b4966.html]here[/url]) Wassalamu alaikum |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/16/04 at 15:33:24 |
| [slm] Is it this one? http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/humanrelations/womeninislam/idealmuslimah/ |
| 04/16/04 at 15:36:53 |
| Sima |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| jannah |
| 04/17/04 at 22:10:26 |
| [wlm] I don't really like that book because it just talks about the responsibilities and duties of the wife. It doesn't seem balanced, because it doesn't mention the duties of the husband or the mutual marriage relationship or relationships with others, specifically with Allah. NOT to mention describing who the ideal muslimah should be... there are alot of stages for women, pre marriage, post marriage, no marriage..etc. but theres nothing about that. As an aside, I seriously think that a book like the ideal muslimah should be written by a muslimah who's striving for the ideal, because she has insight on what it is to be a woman! And YES there are women scholars in the world that we should ask to write it and support them in it. That way a book detailing how a muslim woman should be ideally is not by a guy telling us what he thinks is the ideal muslimah and only includes the hadiths he thinks are important to back up his thoughts. |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/18/04 at 23:38:31 |
| asalamualaikum I was shocked to read this article. it sais the wife has to ask her husband if she wants to give a gift to someone even if its from her own wealth and it also sais a bunch of other things and includes proof from hadith. please explain! here is the article: http://www.themuslimwoman.com/herrole/attributesofrighteouswife.htm |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/19/04 at 02:18:54 |
| [wlm] Ok lets say that is the attribute of righteous wife but to what kind of husband? and i think it is very easy and automaticaly be done if the husband is the right person to desserve that . a husband just becasue he is married to a woman? ( this makes him no the husband to be given all that right So the point is not what the righteous woman has to be but to what kind of husband because he doesnt have the attributes that qualifies him for any obligation from the wife toward him then he certainly will not stay any more with such a wife .they will have different manner that eventually give her the right to divorce .I dont think if a woman has all nice attributes there will be no reason he will oppose her behavior unless he is bad mannered and if so the SHARIA will be there to protect her Wives are not obliged to be slaves for HUSBANDs who are not the right ones .This is what we need to know :) |
| 04/20/04 at 01:29:23 |
| sal |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Kathy |
| 04/19/04 at 08:25:51 |
| [quote author=Salem link=board=sis;num=1081638518;start=10#15 date=04/19/04 at 02:18:54] unless he is bad mannered and if so the SHARIA will be there to protect her [/quote] [slm] :o Really? |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| nida |
| 04/19/04 at 20:42:49 |
| [slm] so yeah...how does the sharia protect her rights as a woman??? ??? |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/20/04 at 01:41:41 |
| [slm][quote]Really? [/quote] Yes :) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/20/04 at 02:15:54 |
| [slm] [quote]so yeah...how does the sharia protect her rights as a woman[/quote] If the husband opposes good deeds of the wife just because he got the right as a husband , for instance giving to the poor or her relatives who are in need or stops her from contrubuting good social roles such as teaching etc. or stops her visting a sick because she has to take his permission to go out or even stops her from shoping when she needs that of caurse with escort I dont think such a man would be a nice person she can give love to him under this baisis then there will certainly be many other things they have differce so it is clear she will not like and lose respect and love for this man that will lead to the need to get rid of him and if we have talked about her to have the good attributes then he is the one who has the bad Now she has two ways she is protected by the SHARIA If that thing she wants to give is from her own property not brought by him she can give without his permission and to the contrary if he wants to spend some thing belongs to her he has not the right to with out her permission The other right is she can divorce him and even without any reason if she feels she doesnt want him [wlm] |
| 04/20/04 at 02:19:53 |
| sal |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Kathy |
| 04/20/04 at 08:15:14 |
| [slm] Yes we know the laws in Islam protect Muslim women... the question we are asking you is... because rarely, when things go wrong, there is someone who will impliment these laws! No one,( exceptions rule! ), will stand up for a woman in her community. They either say it is none of their business, look the other way, or tell her to hush and keep it in the family and to be patient. Rarely does the wife, of a bad mannered husband, get protection. |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/20/04 at 14:44:37 |
| [slm] There are major misunderstandings some times the family give in for some reasons if they find this is less harmful than a divorce that may cause children's suffer so may press their daughter to hush And some times they feel shame to make things developed for the sake of the family's reputation but I think this indicates the minority of the bad things the husband has but if it is crosses the limit till it can be harmful to the kids and even remaining with such a husband itself touches the poise of the wife then why to make her shut up ? For instance , if the husband is pushy with beating or drinks alcohol or go with other women and this is exposed to the public I don’t think her patience has a meaning and I don’t think her family has any reason to let her stay patient his remaining means a dangerous virus against even his own children .They learn from him these characteristics So the SHARIA protects her either to divorce or compel him the expenses for the kids needs ( but I doubt this kind of man will be reliable any way)there fore she definitely prefers the divorce Isn’t it better for the kids as well instead of learning bad characteristics from him? In this case its her destiny to got born from a family who doesn’t care and yes sadly this happens to many wives >:( ALLAH WILL HELP :) |
| 04/20/04 at 14:46:51 |
| sal |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Mona |
| 04/20/04 at 22:24:44 |
| [slm] salem, there is a difference between where you live and the US and canada, where there are no muslim judges set aside for family law, and instead there are overworked imams who are becoming more and more disinterested in their communities (i don't blame them, muslims are cry babies over here and just don't know their boundaries) it is all about coalition building sisters. don't ever isolate yourselves, but make sure there are people in the community or your family who you can rely on and who will sympathize with you. that should intimidate the husband and deter him for taking you for granted. he can just try to do something stupid then, the mafia will take care of him 8) wassalam take care |
| 04/20/04 at 22:25:41 |
| Mona |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| sal |
| 04/21/04 at 02:08:59 |
| [slm]mona Yes I can understand what you mean and I have the practice as well in living in such environment but what I mean is, where ever we do live we have the SHARIA we can rely on to make any decision regarding our life as Muslems We can use the SHARIA as a law in our home .we don’t need to look for a court that judges according to it if it is not available As muslems we know what we have to do despite the place we live For example, if the wife knows what she is doing is right according to the SHARIA and living in some where she has no such a protection she can prudently use some methods to achieve the goal from different angles in proportion to the law of where she is Like if the man is bad and she knows leaving him is not HARAM she can use the way the constitution in where she is gives her the right at this issue So we have 2 things here 1-The internal and invisible in that place (SHARIA ) which we can use when we need it in such a way our ethics is safe 2-But using the way the system there works :) [wlm] :) |
| Re: Question (describe a righteous wife) |
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| Sima |
| 04/24/04 at 17:55:03 |
| [slm] Sis jannah i understand what you are saying but maybe that book might be a good starting point/reference for someone doing some self reflection. Inshallah maybe you and some of the other sisters on the board will write a book about the path to becoming an ideal muslimah from a Muslimah's perspective. That would be sooo cool. :) I know there have been unfortunate situations where a muslim woman ends up marrying a man who is not a good husband. Ive seen some people who just kinda deal with it for the sake of their children and others will end the relationship. Hamza yousuf has a CD set where he talks about the rights and responsibilities of marriage addressing both sides. :-) |
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