A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| crystal78 |
| 04/19/04 at 20:46:19 |
| I am a young woman who has fell in love with a muslim man;he is so beautiful i see a future and a life.He loves me and wants to be in my life.I have relized the same.BUT here lies the problem I have no guardian I am american,even though i am a beliver;his mother says i am a ****.She doesn't know me and she judges me,He loves his mother and wants both of us;but i feel the end is near.I am willing to put up a fight but i feel its hopeless,I pray to allah to change her mind,but I don't know anymore.His mother say's i am a discrace.THIS MAN HAS FAILED TO TELL HER WE HAVE ALREADY LOST A CHILD. :'( she gives him these ultamatums,I never felt love in my heart till we met.He has signed jointly for a car as well as a aprt. even though we donot live together.His whole family nocks him down on being with me;He admitted he is soft,and he can't see his mother cry,his father died more than 5 yrs ago.Is he scared?i have lost what little family i had.My soul is burning i pray allah the great will hear my mourns and bring my advice in a dream. If he choses me he is not her son.i have no mother;she left me.I have no father he died.my brother disowned me because i chose to be with arabic muslim man.if i lose him i have nothing.I try to see my life without him and I cant I feel my soul being torn out of me.I ask for your prayers [wlm] Please. |
| 04/19/04 at 23:42:51 |
| crystal78 |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| al-ajnabia |
| 04/19/04 at 21:44:15 |
| [slm] you just have to pray, i dont know what else to do. Hopefully his mother is smart enough to know that it is better to have a son than to make herself alone like you and she will come around in time. If she doesnt, well she has the potential to cast a shadow on your marriage, but if he chooses her over you, inshallah Allah will give you something better. A man cant marry his mother, but they sure can keep one confused if they chose to use his love for her that way. I'd think twice if living with her is in the future. That can be a nightmare, as she knows things about him that you never will. That probably doesnt help, but it might help |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| crystal78 |
| 04/19/04 at 22:41:09 |
| [slm]i thank you for your words of wisdom,I pray each day I hope allah will send him a message.thankyou dear one. |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| onemuslimgirl |
| 04/19/04 at 23:45:54 |
| Sr. Crystal, Make lots of duaa and also, there is a special prayer, called istikhara prayer which means guidence prayer. people do this prayer to help them with making a decision. ask ur fiancee about it and if he doenst have the duaa let me know and inshAllah i can get it for u inshAllah. just remember, if its right for you than pray that Allah makes it work out, if its not right for you, than pray that Allah does not make it work out. sometimes we want something and its not right for us, and sometimes we don't want something and its good for us. just take it one step at a time and tell urself that u'll be happy with what happens. |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| crystal78 |
| 04/20/04 at 00:08:38 |
| :-)PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS GUIDANCE PRAYER [wlm]sis i THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS. :-*i KNOW THE PROPHET HERES YOUR WORDS [saw] |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| Nadeem |
| 04/20/04 at 12:22:22 |
| [slm] Sister, I feel for your difficult situation. You are Muslim but his mother does not and will not accept you because you are American? This is very sad. Often people forget that we shouldn't have this racial and nationalistic prejudice. Your man sounds like he's torn between love and duty to his mother, (especially because his father died) and his love for you. However, if he wants to be with you, he will have to be strong enough to bring his mother round. Perhaps you could try exploring what it is that his mother is so worked up about. Is it something perhaps she is mistaken about, or maybe she is just feeling insecure about losing her son, and that the racial thing is just an excuse? Has she just found about you recently? Often people react very strongly to new changes. Perhaps over time she will come round. The main thing is not to lose heart. Sister onemuslimgirl put it very well when she said that pray to Allah that he gives you whatever is right for you. Inshallah, if this guy is the right one for you, then it will work out. But if it doesnt work the way you want it, Allah will have saved you for something better. Inshallah, I pray that all goes well for you, and the situation develops into betterment for you and your peace of mind. [wlm] |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| onemuslimgirl |
| 04/20/04 at 20:35:41 |
| asalam alakum, here is the transliteration and translation of the istikhara prayers. i got it from the website: http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/scarves/prayer.html also, sister crystal, i know that ur new to Islam,so i just wanted to correct u *smile* but we don't believe that prophet Muhammad can hear us in everything we do, he is a prophet, as Allah (God) said "he is a messenger adn a human being", so he has passed away. we do things to please Allah, not the prophet *smile* SALAT AL-ISTIQARA The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Quran. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, and Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter--(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)--then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, and then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me in my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter--(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)--then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it). " The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need. |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| Mona |
| 04/20/04 at 21:37:17 |
| [slm] i think you will not like my advice. i hope you can look at it objectively, though. here it is : RUN like the wind from this guy!!! you are emotional right now and your mind is a little foggy. you need to smarten up and stop relying on others for your own happiness. i am sure this person has good qualities and says he loves you, but guess what, his mother, who he can't make angry, has a bigger influence on him than you. so right now that love is useless. he probably felt guilty about taking advantage of your vulnrability and is giving you a car and a place to live. take them, but don't overinterpret this as him being ready to be responsible. be straight with him, you either marry me (with or without mommy's consent) by so and so date, or we are done. and you have to move on, repent sincerely and rebuild your life and take things as they come. take care wassalam |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| momineqbal |
| 04/21/04 at 01:14:32 |
| [slm], [quote]RUN like the wind from this guy!!! [/quote] If you can take this advice (and the rest of it that follows) and act on it without suffering a total breakdown, you will thank the sister in a time to come. Then again, you should never feel like if you don't have one person in your life you are nothing or that you wont have any support. Take Allah as your support, all the other "supports" are granted to you by Allah. Wassalam. |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| crystal78 |
| 04/21/04 at 12:04:13 |
| [slm]it has been one day that he has left me.I live a hopeless mind;my heart burns for he did not love me enough.how does a man promise the world and not keep his word.I asked myself and allah why did i wake up.I feel all is lost,my soul burns without recognition,i feel nothing real and i am not real.I am so weak and so out of it.I am azombie walking the earth;i pray all of you hear me,please i need your kind words.I asked for a sign from allah today;it came in a dream of us together with a child,I called him and asked him to do the same.I hope it wakens his mind. |
| 04/21/04 at 12:07:38 |
| crystal78 |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| Danyala |
| 04/23/04 at 05:10:53 |
| [slm] Salams sis, I have sent u an IM, do reply and let me know how ure doing. [wlm] :-) |
| Re: termoial in a realtionship |
|---|
| crystal78 |
| 04/23/04 at 09:46:50 |
| [slm]hello good one;I have not ate in 4 days;I cry uncontrollabe sobs,i don't sleep my soul is dead.I fear my end is near.I thank you for your thoughts. |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |