Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

A R C H I V E S

Why Do Children  lie

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Why Do Children  lie
sal
04/24/04 at 04:23:15
[center]Why do children lie?   [/center]
04/24/04 at 04:24:00
sal
Re: Why Do Children  lie
ltcorpest2
04/24/04 at 09:13:37
That is a very good question.  To me, children  are not taught to lie or see it from somewhere, but it is part of their natural state.  Also,  kids are  horrible liars and the one thing they learn as they go along is to lie better and the tough thing about parenthood is to ingrain that lying is not right or acceptable and there is consequences.

ps  there is also a theological aspect of this that muslim and christians would disagree on.
Re: Why Do Children  lie
Kathy
04/24/04 at 09:41:50
To avoid punishment...
Re: Why Do Children  lie
Nadeem
04/24/04 at 14:17:11
[slm]

[quote author=mike link=board=lighthouse;num=1082794995;start=0#1 date=04/24/04 at 09:13:37]ps  there is also a theological aspect of this that muslim and christians would disagree on.[/quote]

Really? Muslims and Christians would disagree theologically on why kids lie? ???
Why's that?

:)

[wlm]

Re: Why Do Children  lie
theOriginal
04/24/04 at 14:20:02
[slm]

why do adults lie?

wasalaam.
Re: Why Do Children  lie
ltcorpest2
04/24/04 at 20:17:41
Nadeem,  it goes to mans sin nature.  Christians would believe that man is born with a sin nature and that in a sence it is ingrained.  I think that muslims believe that people are born muslim and that sin is learned.  That is the very quick answer to your question. and probably not very complete.
Re: Why Do Children  lie
bhaloo
04/24/04 at 20:30:34
[slm]

[quote author=JustOne link=board=lighthouse;num=1082794995;start=0#4 date=04/24/04 at 14:20:02] [slm]

why do adults lie?
[/quote]

How about Kathy's answer for kids? ???

[quote]
To avoid punishment...
[/quote]


Re: Why Do Children  lie
Mossy
04/24/04 at 20:34:34
[url=http://www.answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=244199]Google answers[/url] :)
Re: Why Do Children  lie
sal
04/25/04 at 01:45:24
[slm]

[quote]To avoid punishment... [/quote]
That is  true

I think  this  is  how it starts  so  it is an excuse ? as a method  of  looking for safety ?
But why  this danger they  feel  is  there to  chose    lie to avoid  it ?  because   the surrounding adults are cruel ?

so why do we charge them if it is the only way they found to escape  ? as  long as we are  responsible to  have  caused this with wrong strategy of dealing with them  to  push them toward  this ?

How ever  to avoid and correct this mistakes   any way

Why   we do   not appreciate  this  as smart  option  of avoiding punishment instead of punishing again for this  lie ? at the same time   using another anti smarter way  
It  is  
To respond  to agree the  lie  is  ok for the  time  being and then show what other  methods   to  use to avoid punishment  .A competing option
Like the  lie  may only save them from  punishment but telling the truth will give  more opportunity  to reward  them
They will of course chose the higher offer   (to tell the truth) and this will consequently  clean them  from this conduct because . They will ask and put another  deal .They will ask if they don’t make any thing to let them need either the  lie or the  truth . it is  prying  to stop  doing no mistakes  if that will  make more offer .

[quote]why do adults lie? [/quote]
I think the answer  is  because they were not  not  given care to stop it

[center] ;) ;) ;) [wlm][/center]



04/25/04 at 01:52:49
sal
Re: Why Do Children  lie
ltcorpest2
04/25/04 at 08:56:55
Salem,  I think you are putting the cart before the horse.  Children lie because it is part of their nature and not becaue the surrounding adults are cruel.  I am not sure if you are a parent, but responding once to a child lying is ok and then lookng for another strategy is not the way to go.  Kids do not look at long term strategies,  they are looking for short quick solutions.  If a reaction is not presented quickly then the behavior will become imbedded.  One thing you said is important:  positive reinforcement is also a very good thing.
Re: Why Do Children  lie
sal
04/26/04 at 02:00:10
[slm]Mike

I think if they are using as a solution  and because  it is perhaps the only way they can avoid punishemnt  then the parrent is cruel in their point of view according to  their little  knowledge  to understand   things
For the children it is the strongest weapon to use against the most dangerous attack (the parrent’s reaction ) but the question is why parrents react in such a way they look like  scary thing to let the children  use  this weapon


04/26/04 at 02:00:49
sal
Re: Why Do Children  lie
Barr
04/30/04 at 10:58:32
[slm] warahmatullah :)

[quote]Nadeem,  it goes to mans sin nature.  Christians would believe that man is born with a sin nature and that in a sence it is ingrained.  I think that muslims believe that people are born muslim and that sin is learned.  That is the very quick answer to your question. and probably not very complete. [/quote]

Would you complete it, pls? Coz, I could draw some parallels from what you've said.

From what I hv learnt, there exists the following in a man* (and they interact with each other):

1) Ruh (Soul)
2) Nafs (Self/ desires)
3) Jasad (Body)
4) Aqal (Intellect)
5) Qalb (Heart)

The qalb is the central decision maker, but this decision is influenced by the other four factors. Depending on the state of the qalb, it can make a decision that either leads him to do evil (ie. sin) or good.

For example, imagine a person lost in a jungle for a week and had been walking to find a way out. All he had was a few sips of rainwater and a few bites of sour fruit. His jasad (body) was very tired and hungry. Suddenly, he smelled something good and saw a roast chicken, piping hot with a tall glass of icy fruit punch - enough for 1 hungry person.

His nafs would shout: "Get it! I'm starving!Foooooddd!" and probably would jump @ the food - and wouldn't care less of consequences etc.

But his intellect may say, "Wait a minute, how did this get here? Is there a trap somewhere?"
His ruh may interact with it, and he would want to know if its halal? Maybe it belongs to somebody else?

But his heart, depending on the state of purity of his heart, would finally decide, whether he would eat it or not.

Hence, going back to your contention that man is "born with a sin nature", I feel that man is inclined to do both the good and sinful. The difference between a person and the other would be the condition of his heart, which would effect the degree of being inclined to goodness and sins - and eventually act upon either one of them.

Perhaps, the theological difference is that Muslims believe, men are born free from sins (though the potential to do sin is there). On the other hand, in Christianity, men are born with the burden of Adam's sin, whereas is Islam, a man is not burdened with another's sin. Also, Allah forgave Adam and Hawwa' (Eve) when they realised the wrong they had done and sought forgiveness.

Back to the topic:
For children, they have nafs too (as well as the other things that I've mentioned). Nafs to feel safe from punishment, nafs that tempt to greed, jealousy, anger etc.

Children, and adults seem to have the subtle bodily reaction when they lie - which suggests that innately or by nurture, they know that lying is wrong. But what leads them to lie, may be the same as adults. The difference is the accountability  that adults have for their sins. This could be justified by their level of development of the 5 things mentioned earlier, which is different from that of a child.

That being said, children learn much and very quickly from adults. Hence, the development of the child's heart, is very much influenced by the state of the hearts of adults who bring up and surround the child.

Allahua'lam

(*Scholars may differ on some issues)
04/30/04 at 11:05:24
Barr


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
A R C H I V E S

Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © Jannah.Org