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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Update on my situation and many thanks |
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| Caraj |
| 05/04/04 at 16:05:49 |
| Salaam, Hello everyone. Well it has been an interesting 2 months or so, to say the least. First of all I want to thank everyone for their messages and emails and all the love, encouragement and support, it was such a blessing may Allah reward you all. I really feel like I am truly blessed to come amoung you all on this site. This is NOT JUST a board to me, it is my family, my friends, so if that sounds corney so be it :P We are doing much better and trying to work our marriage out. He is definately not the man I married since his return from his last deployment. Remember the....'I don't love you and never really did, we just met when he was in an emtionally needy time in his life??? ::) he acts like it never happened. I have told him he lost my trust with his words and unkindness and ripped apart the very foundation of our marriage and he says he plans to try to re-build it. I guess we will see. I mean there have been times I also wanted out but I never told him I did not love him. He went and got a job which he truly enjoys, our plans for his retirement were to work in my business together......bad idea. Our whole marriage revolved around never being together and to much time together drove us crazy :( We have a new place and I like it even though it is to far from my sons but I am going to make the effort to drive there more often. I have only seen my sons and granddaughter once in approx 2 months :'( which is not cool as I am use to seeing them weekly or more. My business is building back up and I have even began the process to start the Candle business I spoke of late last year in a post. I have many resentments like doing things for him and not myself. I was alone most our marriage due to his career and now I am living away from my family so he can be happy at his job. Nothing is 100% but I am trying. I hope those of you who I was delayed in responding to you will please forgive me and the ones I mentioned doing things for, I shall, I have not forgotten, please fogive me for not being prompt. I offer no excuses only a sincere apology. We have moved 3 times (total household) in 3 months We were offered a job on a ranch to work in exchange for living quarters and it was a nightmare (the wife was wonderful but the old goat husband was a real creep) so we moved (after the man's/creeps last antics I called hubby at work and told him, with or without you I AM MOVING NOW, TODAY, THIS MINUTE and we were out in 24 hours) so everything into storage and stayed at a motel and now we moved into a home this week-end. I love it and it has land and a barn and stalls and is clean and spacious and we have wonderful landlords. I feel pretty happy and blessed. It is rented but that is ok. One day I will get that goofy ranch I want, Insha Allah. But this place is a farm :) My only 2 complaints is no Islamic Community that I know of yet and I am to far from the kids. But it is only an 8 hour round trip, I should not complain when others have family on the other side of the world right ;) My most sincere thanks for the love, encouragement and support. I am doing much much better. I am also at peace that if my marriage doesn't work out it no longer bothers me. Besides, a couple wonderful folks on the board reminded me my last 3 years were not a waste of time, after all I AM a Madina Citizen ;) PS (added later) I also told hubby I was not a party gal when he met me, I am not now and will never be, so if he misses the bars and dancing and such, THERES THE DOOR, don't let it hit you where the Good Lord split ya >:( And he has yet to leave, time will tell, either way I am at peace. |
| 05/04/04 at 16:20:49 |
| Caraj |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |