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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| passing away |
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| princess |
| 05/13/04 at 11:18:47 |
| as'salaamualaikum inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon. i just found out my cousin's grandmother past away in houston. my cousin and i are very close - but i have not called her. i don't know what to say, although her grandmother had been sick for quite a while. alhamdulillah, i've never had anyone close to me pass away. due to that, i never know how to handle the situation. i know it's always hard, because people [i]never[/i] know what the right thing to say is, but i'd like some advice from people who have had someone close to them pass away. thanks. |
| Re: passing away |
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| bhaloo |
| 05/14/04 at 02:28:05 |
| [slm] inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon My father passed away 2 weeks ago. I remember the people that came to visit (I still have to return some calls), I remember those that offered to do anything/everything at the time of the funeral. There wasn't really anything anyone said that made me feel any better. When people started reminiscing about old times, that actually brought me down Sorry for your loss was the common thing said. I just gave a condtioned response, thank you, shook hands, and that was it, and looked to the next person that was coming. |
| 05/14/04 at 02:28:49 |
| bhaloo |
| Re: passing away |
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| Shahida |
| 05/14/04 at 05:37:02 |
| [slm] Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Sis, I am one person who has been looking for the "right" way to go about conveying my condolances. Truly sis, there are no "right" words, no "right" actions, no absolutely proper way to go about this. There was a long time in which I just didnt go to *any* funerals, and would avoid the people who had lost someone dear to them :(. I realised as I grew older, that often you don't need to say anything, just your being there for them, and them knowing that they can come to you if they need to is enough....I have lost many people who are close to me, and thats all that really *helped* if you can call it helping. It made me feel better to know that they were praying for the person etc as well, of course. I deal with death on a daily basis, and it never gets any easier. But I think that you learn to be more comfortable with your doing *nothing* and saying little... Yeah, I am not of much help I know...Tuesday night a brother who started Uni with me passed away in his sleep. His fiance is in my class. I have not seen her yet, and don't know what I will do exactly when I *do* see her...*sigh* May Allah make it easy for all of us, and grant all those who have passed away His Mercy and forgiveness. Ameen. Salam Shahida |
| Re: passing away |
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| bismilla |
| 05/17/04 at 02:14:44 |
| [slm] Innah Lillahi Wah Innah Ilayhi Rajioon. I agree with both Br Bhaloo and Sr Shahida. If you are visiting her, i suppose hugging her when you see her would convey more than any words can. I am not too sure how to handle this telephonically though. Like Sr. Shahida, i too tend too avoid these situations because i have no idea what to say. |
| Re: passing away |
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| sal |
| 05/17/04 at 02:53:54 |
| [slm] inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon Just tell her this is the fact we will all face and ALHAMDULILAH If you want make her feel better tell her to thank ALLAH for HUSN ALKHATIMAH (good end ) This makes the person be thankful than feeling cheerless INSHALLAH |
| Re: passing away |
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| Mona |
| 05/17/04 at 10:11:02 |
| [slm] sarah, it is hard to comfort people when their relative dies, but just gather up the courage and contact her, offering condolences and maybe just lending an ear. since you and your cousin are close, you might help her through this time by just being there for her. it is really precious to know that someone is thinking about you and that they want to help. may Allah reward you for your concern about your cousin. take care. wassalam |
| Re: passing away |
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| Ember |
| 05/17/04 at 13:58:00 |
| [slm] Last week my grand-uncle, who has been my pal all my life past away. I felt like I had been struck down. I've had many people who are very close to me pass away and have come to the conclusion that you never know how to handle it. You think you would but you don't. As for saying the right thing. I don't think there is anything. Prayers and du'aa are all that matter. |
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