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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Love |
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| ForS |
| 05/19/04 at 05:12:31 |
| [slm] OH BOY! YA ALLAH! I have ended a relationship with a girl I loved. :'( Not because of religion wise, but because....................... I felt it was the right thing to do. We were the perfect couple, but I left. Sad in tears, but not crying. Now the only thing is I lost love. I don't have it to share with anyone. No one to love. Makes me sad, so sad. I'm the most romantic person on earth, but no one! I feel like the rain, when it comes from the heaven, and hits the ground. I left her. She was a Christian as well. Will I find anyone? Ever? God Forgive Me. I'm dipped into a drama. We both knew it would end. I want to love again, but will I ever find the right girl? or "the one"? ...................... sad......... pure sad. :( Your sad brother in Islam :( [wlm] |
| [slm] dear brotherRe: Love |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/19/04 at 06:44:37 |
| [slm] dear brother Shall I tell you something so very obvious ? I doubt that it can help much for a heart in pain very often overlook the simple. When one feels deep grief in one's heart, one often fail to see the sun shining its rays from behind such dark, heavy clouds. When sadness gripped one's heart, one seldom can taste joy laced with so much bitterness. When the eyes weep torrents of pain, very rarely can one see beyond what one wants to see. Yet, I think I shall tell u the obvious for in the obvious is your only salvation. Love, like all other emotions, is a double edged sword. It can bring us to great heights yet it can plunge us into the deepest abyss. The only way we can survive is by realising that when we feel something or when we do something, it must be fodder for the soul. Your love should be fodder for your soul. Something that will enrich your soul, making it stronger than ever before. For what ? For transforming you from someone lost to an 'abd of Allah who knows that nothing in this life is permanent. Not your thoughts, nor your feelings, not even your self. Believe me brother, I can feel your pain across this cold screen and I wish there is a simple idiot-proof way to just switch on or off one's feelings but there isn't for otherwise life would be calm. Boring but calm. You said you made a conscious decision to stay away so u must ask urself, did u make that decision by urself or were u perhaps guided to make that decision ? We wish we were all blessed with foresight but sadly, only a handful of us possess hindsight. Still, having hindsight is a blessing for it allows us to learn. To be aware, to know. Many a times I have walked down paths too strenuous and too treacherous that I question my survival. It is hindsight that taught me the lessons of those journeys for it made me more careful of treading future paths. Bro ForS, I cannot erase your pain but I can offer u something precious. Hindsight. When I went through a very difficult time once, I felt I couldn't survive it but I did. Long after I did I questioned the lesson of my tribulations. I found the answer. When Allah SWT tests us, it is not for any other reasons but to make us better and stronger than we ever were before. Provided we pass the test of course. And how do we pass the test ? By placing our complete faith in Him for NOTHING happens without His Will. When you find urself thinking of her, take wudhu' and do solah. Afterwards immerse yourself in dhikr. Dhikr asmaa ul-Husna is powerful so for the easing of your heart, incant ya Rahman ya Raheem. When your heart feels as if it is about to burst from the pain, incant ya Salaam. Never be without wudhu' and never lose faith. I know it is not easy but well...back when I felt I have lost everything, my solah and dhikr kept my sanity intact. Distract yourself and do not in any circumstances retract, for that will prove a fatal step. At night, after you have done your solah tahajjud, keep reciting ayah 286 from sural al-Baqarah. Then after all these, talk to HIM, the Most Compassionate. Talk to Him about your feelings and seek His Help. I am an experienced counsellor and I could have given you the standard "loss" or "grief" counselling but I chose the above. Because, at the end of the day, innalillahi wa innaillahi raajiuun. No amounts of consoling nor counselling can ever replace the Light of Compassion only He can shine on you. Have faith and my du'ah for your peace of mind and heart. For something lighthearted, read the link below. Wassalam http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1033414347 |
| Re: Love |
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| Kathy |
| 05/19/04 at 08:27:26 |
| [slm] :'(..... Maybe this loss was a 'gift' from Allah swt. :-* |
| Re: Love |
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| Nadeem |
| 05/19/04 at 09:28:26 |
| [slm] Bro Mohammed, I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad. I can imagine it must be very tough losing a relationship with someone you care about very much. I know you probably can't see it right now, but things will be better with time. Sure, I hear you say, better with time, but what about now? Well, I think the best thing may be to try and keep yourself occupied so that you dont think about your lost love too much. Try and hang out with your friends more and have few laughs and lighthearted banter. Play football, or cricket, or whatever it is you like playing. Try not to spend lots of time holed up in your room, and definitely not with the curtains drawn and playing love songs on the radio. (This will probably make you feel worse) And above all share your pain with Allah and Allah may relieve you of it, insha'Allah. [wlm] |
| Re: Love |
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| lala |
| 05/19/04 at 10:08:49 |
| [slm] Bro I totally feel your pain..i'm feeling it literally right now..its my own pain of course. But anyhow, pray pray pray and cry cry cry. Inshallah life will return to something normal again. No matter what theres always someone looking out and that is Allah swt. Dont lose sight of that and always remember him in the good times as well as bad. Love is a double edged sword (thanks Umm Wafi) and to lose something you've given tons of time to and given part of yourself to is quite hard to get used to. But LIFE GOES ON and so must you.. Live your life and try to do what you normally did...as far as activities..it will burn and you will have to let it burn in order to heal.. Keep the faith bro. -peace |
| Re: Love |
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| Muslim_Sista |
| 05/20/04 at 06:05:46 |
| [slm] brother i suggest you do sincere taubah cos realtionships with males and females is not allowed in Islam im sure you know the score. the 'halah' type of relationship wud have to be marriage. Im sure you know all this!!!! if you dont im sure we could all explain how men and women should act in Islam. this dating business is a western habbit and no that of ISLAM. so do taubah from your heart and INSHALLAH ALLAH WILL GUIDE YOU.. [wlm] |
| Re: Love |
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| Sunnah_ |
| 05/21/04 at 00:11:16 |
| Salam bro! You didn't really explain why you broke it off? Do you see a future with this girl? Do you love her? Are you able to marry her? All you can do is make sure with yourself that you did the right thing and then move on if you did......and if not.....inshallah marry the girl if you love her! Keeping yourself busy with other things, in my opinion, might help a little, but it won't take away the pain and the thoughts and feelings you are having. You have to make peace with your decision you made and move on and plan for a new future, or plan of a future for the both of to be married. I don't know if any of that helps, but it's hard to say because I don't know the full situation. Goodluck to you bro, you are in my duaa's. Oh ya, do some Ishtikara as well :) Sis Sunnah_ |
| Re: Love |
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| Stephanie |
| 05/23/04 at 00:54:32 |
| [slm] The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "When God wants to be good to someone, He tries him with hardship." The Prophet also said: "For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a believer - even the pain caused by the pricking of a thorn - God removes some of his sins." Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, Number 1 [wlm] |
| Re: Love |
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| buL-buL |
| 05/23/04 at 01:03:45 |
| [quote author=shareislam link=board=madrasa;num=1084954351;start=0#7 date=05/23/04 at 00:54:32] [slm] The Prophet also said: "For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a believer - even the pain caused by the pricking of a thorn - God removes some of his sins." [/quote] But would that also apply to a haram situation one deliberately got themself into? |
| Re: Love |
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| Trustworthy |
| 05/23/04 at 01:20:14 |
| [slm]... hehehe..... If I have nothing good to say then I shall say nothing at all. But that's not like me so here goes....I'm going to be brutal about it because that's what you need. I don't know the pain you're going through but you should realize that if you decide to get married, you better marry the one you love because if you decide to marry someone you don't love like a good Muslimah, then you've already broken her heart. I sympathize with that Msulimah...not you. May Allah (SWT) have mercy on you...Ameen. Ma-asalaamah.... |
| 05/23/04 at 01:22:09 |
| Trustworthy |
| Re: Love |
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| nida |
| 05/23/04 at 14:28:56 |
| [quote author=malika link=board=madrasa;num=1084954351;start=0#8 date=05/23/04 at 01:03:45] But would that also apply to a haram situation one deliberately got themself into? [/quote] [slm] i think it would still be a hardship, because you are fighting yourself, and the shaitaan...more like a "self-jihad" |
| 05/23/04 at 14:29:33 |
| nida |
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