A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Children at Jummah |
|---|
| Stephanie |
| 05/29/04 at 03:50:05 |
| [slm] How do you folks feel about young children at Friday prayer? I have a young son who is two and a half and I hope he will grow up to be a Muslim, inshallah. I had him before I converted and his father's family are non-muslim. Coupled with the fact that we live in an un-Islamic country filled with a constant bombardment of temptations, I really feel like I need to have him at the masjid as much as possible. The problem is, whenever I go to Jummah, I'm totally stressed out about him and what he's doing. It seems most of the people let their children freely roam, and occasionally they can get a little loud. I try to keep him sitting down, but he gets terribly restless, and by the time the salat begins, he's practically bursting at the seams. I find this to be even more disturbing when it's my own child making all the ruckus. Today, he decided he would run through the lines, only to stop and try to shimmy through my legs ::) I've taken to praying at the end of the line so I can step out if need be. Many times I end up grabbing him and slipping out the back door in the middle of the prayer. My husband claims that you should only stop your prayer in the event of some catastrophe or major situation, but I feel like he's speaking from a male point of view. What's the point of ruining the prayers of all the ladies around me? Incidentally in the masjid we pray in, the men pray in front of women without any kind of screen, so I've tried to send him up with my husband where he might do better; He always seems to migrate back to me. Anyway, what does everyone think about children running around during the congretional prayer? Is it okay to go to the khutbah, but not actually pray. I just want my child to be around the community as much as possible so he can grow up feeling like a part of the Ummah. [wlm] |
| 05/29/04 at 03:50:42 |
| Stephanie |
| Re: Children at Jummah |
|---|
| Trustworthy |
| 05/29/04 at 04:09:38 |
| [slm]... Oh...that's sweet. He's just a baby. Let him be. The Prophet (SAW) used to stay in sujud for a long time cause he did not want to disturb the child that was playing on top of his back. And I don't mind a baby trying to make his way to freedom from the rows of prayer. I don't even mind if s/he stops in my sujud place to make his own sujud. I just move my head a little bit to give him room. But the noise during the Khutbah does bug me. I try not to let it bother me but when it gets too loud, I get real frustrated and I would bring a bag of chips or cookies so that I could keep the kids occupied with food. When the parents saw me do that and it worked, they brought their own snacks. It also helps if he brings a quiet toy like a car to play with or coloring books. Cause they'd keep quiet and if they're quiet, they can also here the Imam preach. Your husband is right, you can't leave prayer unless it's a catastrophe. However, if your prayer isn't with heart (khushu') cause you're paying attention to your kid then your prayer won't be accepted and you'd have to pray again anyways. Try avoiding that if possible. Or have someone that isn't praying watch your baby when you do pray. I babysit when I can't pray. Then again, I love kids..then again...who doesn't? It's best if you don't delay your prayer especially if it's Jumaa' prayer cause the Khutbah makes up for 2 rakats and the so the Jumaa' prayer ends it with just 2 rakats. If you decide to pray at home after Khutbah, you'd have to pray 4 rakats of Zhuhr. Ma-asalaamah.... |
| Re: Children at Jummah |
|---|
| Nadeem |
| 05/29/04 at 06:06:39 |
| [slm] Mashallah sister, that you are taking your son to the mosque. I think that it is really important that our little ones get used to being around the mosque, and congregation. This is probably really bad to say (because we should show patience with all, especially children), but for me, I find my irritation depends on how old they are. If the child is toddler, or a bit older say up to about 5-6, and they dont pay 100% concentration to khutbah (sermon) and prayers, then I dont find it bothers me too much at all. Its just sweet that they're in the mosque, and looking round wide-eyed, and then they try hard to concentrate for like 3-4 minutes, then they get restless. But... when they're older that can be quite annoying... Let me give you an example. Yesterday, in Jumah, two boys in the row in front of me (maybe 9-10 years old), were jostling each other every Sajdah (prostration). I found it quite distracting. Another time, during Tarawih's one Ramadan, there were boys (probably 11-12 years old) who obviously got bored and were literally doing flying kicks and wrestling moves on each other during prayers! I said nothing for about 6-7 rakats, hoping they would see sense, but they carried on, so I turned round and told them off quite sharply. I really regretted losing my temper with them :((may Allah forgive me for it). We were all kids once, so we have to try and remember that sometimes prayer times are too long to hold a young mind's attention (especially long sessions like Tarawih). We should try our best not to be too harsh, so as not to put them off. At the same time, we have to remind the young ones of the etiquettes in the mosque. Some people just let their kids run wild and thats not too nice and can be quite distracting when you're trying to focus solely on Allah. Keep trying, despite the stresses, sis, he'll soon grow into it, inshallah! :) [wlm] |
| 05/29/04 at 06:09:38 |
| Nadeem |
| Re: Children at Jummah |
|---|
| theOriginal |
| 05/29/04 at 09:26:51 |
| [slm] Take him to the mosque!!! That's awesome mashaAllah. Okay so now I realize I have to clarify after my incredibly mean post in another thread about children in the mosque. I know there would be a few people saying "dude, she's contradicting herself"...so I'm going to explain myself. I think that children should be accustomed to going to the mosque from a VERY early age. Infancy, maybe. And this should be done as a training for not only the child, but the parents as well. I also think the FATHERS should fully participate in taking at least some responsibility for kids at the mosque, since I live in the mild delusion that children behave better at the mosque when they're in the mens section. Yeah, so when they hit 4+, the father should take them (at least the boys, especially if the wife has another younger child, which she almost ALWAYS does). Also I think that since the jumaa khutbah is very precious for most of us, parents should really try to discipline their kids somehow. I'm not a parent, so I don't know how it works, but honestly, letting your kids roam around in the mosque screaming and yelling is very disturbing and frustrating. And I guess each individual child has a level of tolerance after which he/she WILL yell and scream and there's nothing yku can do about it...yeah so, like I said, I have no idea what I'm saying, but I like the fact that you fuss over your kid. It gives me a sense of relief, for some reason. Maybe that's not nice of me. I'm sorry.. Thank you for listening to my unending diatribe. Please don't pay any attention to it, though. And if I can add this...I love seeing kids at Jumaa...they make my week. Wasalaam. |
| Re: Children at Jummah |
|---|
| jannah |
| 05/29/04 at 17:11:03 |
| wlm, i like trustworthy's ideas of snacks or things for the kids to do. i've seen parents bring blocks and snacks and coloring kits and all kinds of stuff and teh kids sit in a corner and are very happy. if they are too young they usually put them in a car seat thingey or stroller with some stuff and they're usually good too. it is extremely distracting for everyone to have babies screaming and running around during prayer. and it seems like some mothers don't care if their kids are running around uncontrolled. perhaps you can ask some women who are not praying to take the baby while you are praying. i know women who skip out on the prayer itself cause their kids just go crazy as soon as the imam say Allahu Akbar... so I guess in the end.. don't cut yourself off from the community but do everything you can to make it easier on everyone else :) |
| Re: Children at Jummah |
|---|
| se7en |
| 05/30/04 at 17:14:52 |
| as salaamu alaykum, also I think moms sometimes have their kids on a mute button or something :) where the kid can be crying or making noise, but the mom doesn't really notice because she is so used to it. please keep in mind that you may be able to focus in salah with your child crying and carrying on because of your experience, but other people are not that skilled yet :P wasalaamu alaykum :) |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |