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Am I Modest????
Am I Modest????
Faisal
05/31/04 at 07:50:35
[slm].My topic may seem to be very funny, but i just wanted to get some knowledge.Modesty even includes that we must not stare or gaze at gurlzzz,but in my class girlzzz boys r together(combined).On occasions i have to look at gurlzz , so is it a sin.Bad! How should i respond to them,(with my face turned the other way?)
OR 4 BEING MODEST I SHOULD LEAVE THE SKOOL :D     (kidding)! :)
Re: Am I Modest????
yumna
05/31/04 at 07:56:15
............. :D..interrressstinf question brother !...no i guess its allowed to talk to girls but not gwauk at them ;D..(which u don't actually )..but preferably one should look down and ..be polite and respectable to the opposite gender ...not rude..u no wat i mean ...by the way amna 's joined the board if u should know ...i think my answer isn't really explainatory maybe our senoir brothers and sisters might help u there
Re: Am I Modest????
georger
05/31/04 at 10:41:37
What I'd really like to say.....is that it all depends on the heart.

Assume I have reason to stop and chat with a woman....perhaps a co-worker or a neighbour.

If we're talking and I'm looking at her with lustful feelings in spite of her appearance...... :(

If we're talking and I'm looking at her with no lustful feelings in spite of her appearance...... probably much much better.

Correct me if I'm wrong.
05/31/04 at 10:43:46
georger
Re: Am I Modest????
nida
05/31/04 at 13:16:16
[slm]
yup...it all depends on your INTENTIONS.your deeds are based on your intentions.
Re: Am I Modest????
Saam
05/31/04 at 20:15:27
[slm]

It is true, actions are judged by intentions.  However, as Muslims, we know that we are to lower our gaze.

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [24:30-31]

Also, if our eyes accidentally fall upon a person of the opposite sex, we are not held accountable for our first look, but a second look is prohibited.

The Prophet  [saw] said: "Do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second." [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]

I suppose we must ask ourselves if we happen look at a girl, "was it our intention to *look* at the girl"... not "are we looking at the girl with pure intentions."  We already know that we should not be looking... even if we are not thinking lustful thoughts... for Islam is a religion of prevention as well... we know not to put ourselves in situations that may lead to fitnah.

It is difficult, but it is certainly possible to have conversations with members of the opposite sex without looking at them.  This also prevents any thoughts that may otherwise arise in someone's head about the other person during the conversation. Furthermore, since we are generally to keep strictly professional relationships with non-related females, (i.e. restrict interactions to things like work, da'wah, school, etc), this should not pose a problem at all.

It's hard, and often my actions are not in line with what I know I must do.  May Allah help us all and make it easy for us all to do His will.

[wlm]
Saam  ;-)
Re: Am I Modest????
safa
06/01/04 at 15:06:38
[wlm]
I am soooo happy a muslim guy has finally asked this, since most muslims seem 2 consider modesty the woman's realm.
Also, since i study in a co-ed college myself, i consider myself the right person 2 answer ur question (actually i have been itching 2 say this 2 the muslim guys around me, but refrain from doing so, cos it will make no difference).
The answer 2 ur question - how does a muslim male observe modesty in a co-ed institution?
To be specific -
1) When u need 2 ask ur peer a question - a guy r a girl will do, ask the guy.
2) Do not indulge in idle talk with a girl ( or a guy too 4 that matter, but u get my point).  
3) When talk with a girl is required, keep it minimum.
4) When conversation amongst the boys veers 2 talks about girls, like which girl is hotter than the rest, and such, refrain from participating in the conversation, better yet, distance urself from it.
5) When conversation amongst the boys veers 2 talks about hijabi girls, as in wondering what they look like beneath the veil, try ur best 2 end the conversation, thereby protecting the modesty of the girl as well.
6) This is very obvious, but above all, do not give room 4 amorous thoughts about a girl. If u find them creeping in, avoid the girl.
7) Do try ur best 2 be in the company of other good practicing muslim boys, because probably nothing influences u as much during ur growing-up years as the company u keep.

Keep the faith bro.
Again i am veeeerrrry happy u asked this.


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