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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Womens' Circle |
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| Shahida |
| 06/02/04 at 04:27:53 |
| [slm] dear sisters... I have a really hectic (and erratic) schedule, and am *always* on the lookout for a Halqah that I can attend, even if it is not on a regular basis... Anyway, I heard about this one aunty who is doing "a really good job" according to her students. Thought I would check it out. I went, I saw, I heard, and I decided not to go back... Why? This is where I need some words of wisdom... Basically, we sat there, and what she said all made sense and was good, mashaAllah. BUT, the time for prayer came (Thuhr), and we did not break up to pray :o So I excused myself and went to pray (they thought I went to the bathroom ::) )...then the Athaan from the electronic clock went again for 'Asr, and we still didn't budge... :o So I sent a note to the aunty, asking her to make a break so we could pray...I saw her read it, and do *nothing*... :o So I thought: since when don't we break to pray? In my mind that is enough for me not to want to go back there... :( But my friend says she wants to go back, cuz she does learn so much, and it doesnt matter that nobody else prays, as long as she excuses herself and prays... ??? I don't know... How can a gathering be blessed, if we do not open/close it with a rememberance of Allah? How can we expect Allah's blessing in our *additional* knowledge, when we cannot even obey Him swt in our *obligatory* duties? Am I just being too over-sensitive? Wasalam Shahida :( |
| 06/02/04 at 06:54:03 |
| Shahida |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Kathy |
| 06/02/04 at 08:57:03 |
| [slm] Under the title of 'making excuses for your fellow Muslims....' Did they all have their menses? Besides that I would consider it a gigantic red flag if they are not praying. I would wonder what daleel the aunti is using and then question her judgement on everything else. I would ask her why... |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| M.F. |
| 06/02/04 at 12:25:13 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I second Kathy's advice to ask her why. It's just so wierd! The only explanation I can think of is if they prayed before the halaqa started. But you said the time for dhuhr came in as you were sitting there. I can't think of anything except that the bad in this situation is much much much greater than the good. I mean missing prayers in order to gain knowledge just doesn't make any kind of logical sense. And also, why would she ignore your reminder? Did she feel that what she was saying was more important than prayer? If so, that seems very arrogant to me. Wallahu a'lam. The only advice I can give is to go again and ask why they don't pray and ask the other sisters what they think of it. What where they talking about? Where did the "aunty" learn? It just doesn't make sense! |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| sal |
| 06/02/04 at 18:59:06 |
| I Don't know what lessons they are taking whilst not knowing what prayer means. if what happend is true ,it seems the task taking place is not for ALLAH's sake and hence i dont see any significance in attending such gathering however you are obliged to go back to convey your message neglecting the prayer is sinful and more imporatant than the reward they are urging from this lesson the way they are practicing (neglecting an obligatory prayer ) when we see some thing wrong against religion we are obliged to fight by three ways of which we are able to by force tongue(advice) heart (hating that thing) so this is why you should go back there to use the second option (tongue)which i think is the most possible way you have now .so if this produces good change then you will be with them and you have done a big job ,other wise if the same process persists you better not lose your salat wa ALLAH AL MIWAFIGH |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Halima |
| 06/03/04 at 03:20:40 |
| [slm]Sis Shahida, I ECHO what the sisters here have said. FISHY indeed. How can whatever knowledge she is imparting be more IMPORTANT than Salat??? Allahu Akbar! Please find out by going back once more and also ask these questions. [wlm] Halima |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Shahida |
| 06/03/04 at 04:29:22 |
| [slm] JazakumAllahu khairun for the replies and wise Naseeha. The "aunty" did several *courses* in the Gulf before coming here. I do not know her exact qualifications, Allahu a3lam. We were going through some tafseer of Surah al-Baqarah. I have to admit, I didn't learn anything, becuz my mind was focussed elsewhere (i.e on why we were not praying etc). Momma Mod, I too thought it could be that. But I asked 2 other sisters afterwards, and they said, even when the Halqa is at night, they always pray whatever prayer they missed when they get home... :( I think I should go back at least once, you guys are right. Thanks for reminding me about that lesson of our Prophet [saw] brother Salem. At least I should talk to her and ask her what's up. Thanks again [] May Allah guide and help us all, ameen. Salam Shahida |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Shahida |
| 06/14/04 at 05:32:28 |
| [slm] Sorry I didn't reply with an update sooner... The halqah was cancelled last Sunday, so I decided to phone the lady and ak if I could come and see her for a few minutes. She asked me why? And got all defensive when I said I needed to ask her something, and talk to her. After a few minutes it seemed as though she wasnot going to allow me to talk to her in person, so I asked her over the phone about why we don't break for prayer. Her answer in simple terms was this: it is not her job to dictate to anyone when to pray! If the girls wanted to pray they would do so, and are free to do so, as I did the last time. She thinks it is *forcing* people to pray if she makes a *special* break for prayer time. So I told her that it is compulsory to pray, and that I am sure many more students *want* to pray on time, and not delay their prayers. She told me that I am the first person who has had a *problem* with the way she does things, and that if I didn't *like* it, I didn't have to come....duhh ::) Anyway, I got in contact with a couple of the girls I know, and asked them about what they thought. They didn't seem to mind... So I left them with the message that nothing is more important than Salaah, and that this is the first thing Allah swt will question us about on the Day of Judgement. Allahu a3lam what will happen in the next halqah session. Salam, and thanks for the advice. Shahida |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Kathy |
| 06/14/04 at 09:24:20 |
| [slm] I think it would be great if you all stood up to pray...inspite of her. |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 06/14/04 at 19:51:23 |
| asalam alakum, i agree with sister kathy...go and when its time to pray, raise your hand and ask her if its ok if you go pray, and have ur friend(s) go with u. little by little people will join u and she might even. if ur confident enough to do this do this inshAllah... |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Taalibatul_ilm |
| 06/14/04 at 23:30:21 |
| [slm] This is so bizzare! I would suggest being a little more forward and say something like "It's time for prayer now, let's go pray in the other room." It may give the other sisters a stronger push. May Allah help you and keep you firm. |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Halima |
| 06/15/04 at 01:40:10 |
| Sis Shahida wrote: [quote]Anyway, I got in contact with a couple of the girls I know, and asked them about what they thought. They didn't seem to mind...[/quote] Forgive my denseness Sis, they didn't seem mind... what? that the lady was not breaking for prayer or that they would break to pray? Shukran. Halima |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Shahida |
| 06/17/04 at 02:14:38 |
| [slm] Sis Halima: they didn't seem to mind the fact that we did not break for prayer..it was ok with them to pray the prayer/prayers when they got home :o So if I go back there, I would be the only one (with my friend) who would actually go pray while the halqa would continue in our absense. ::) Momma Mod, I won't be going back there. I feel bad now for some reason, becuz I did just speak to a few girls who I knew and could get hold of, and did not get the opportunity to address the whole group. It sucks that I have to make such a big deal about something that should be NATURAL for us, as Muslimas attending a so-called Islamic gathering...Allah yihdeena, ameen. Well, I am not going back there. I will tell my friend (if she decides she wants to go back) to tell me what happens, and to talk to the other girls....am I expected to do more?? ?? Salam Shahida |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| sal |
| 06/17/04 at 17:02:32 |
| [slm] [quote]Her answer in simple terms was this: it is not her job to dictate to anyone when to pray! If the girls wanted to pray they would do so, and are free to do so, as I did the last time. She thinks it is *forcing* people to pray if she makes a *special* break for prayer time[/quote] if this is true? that she is so ignorant praying time is an optional matter in ISLAM how come she can teach some thing about islam ? if so then you must not give her chance to continue this . [quote]am I expected to do more?? ?? [/quote] yes you should try to speak and explain to those sisters you didnt talk to yet as smooth as you can so that they can take it serious advice and not as if you are forcing ,so try once again if there is no any disadvantages like hot arguement that might lead to bad conflict and hatred among you May Allah be with you |
| 06/17/04 at 17:03:25 |
| sal |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| Trustworthy |
| 06/17/04 at 17:28:29 |
| [slm]... ::) *at the aunty* Humph...may be she should halqah about salaat. She has the adhan clock their for a reason right? Duh!!! Reminder it's time to pray. I think you should go back to her halqah and make a big deal out of it. Really!!! Salaat is the 2nd Pillar of Islam right after our Shahada hence it's importance!!! It's not like it's going to take a whole lot of time out of the halqah to do, come on now. We could be having a BBQ picnic at a park, but when it's time for prayer, we all PRAY with everyone looking on. At school, we excuse ourselves to go and pray when IT"S TIME TO PRAY!!! You see, it's kind of hypocritical to preach about Islam and not practice it!!! That's just it. Even if she was in her menses, since it was her halqah, it was her duty to remind everyone it was time to PRAY! This reminds of a true story that Abdullah Idris told us when he came to our place to speak, he knew of an Imam, a great one with all these degrees in religion of Islam and he was the speaker too. Anyways, when it was time for him to lead prayer, he had to ask how many rakaats to pray, Subhanullah!!! WHAT"S UP WITH THAT? Thing is...don't preach if you don't practice, it just makes you look STUPID and our deen as well!!! Tell her in a nice way to GET SOME SENSE, will ya'? ::) Ma-assalaamah.... |
| Re: Womens' Circle |
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| bismilla |
| 06/18/04 at 01:42:22 |
| [slm] ok, maybe this is a round about approach, but if her husband is a Musallih at a particular mosque, perhaps the Mufti of that mosque can make mention of this? Or have his wife approach this sister? I remeber with the ladies Thaleem group in our area once, it all started off innocently when someone brought some eats to the group. The next thing you know everyone was competing to make the best eats. Until Mufti Saheb stopped it. Reason being that a less fortunate family will feel uncomfortable to host the Thaleem group in their home. What i am getting at is that maybe someone other than yourself can approach this together with you. Also, perhaps suggest a time BETWEEN Sallahs....eg....Bet. Zohr and Asr? Insha Allah, you have been drawn to this group for the purpose of being an example to them. May Allah SWT make it easy for you. an after thought....start your own group and make sure it's supervised by a suitably qualified Aalimah? |
| 06/18/04 at 01:44:33 |
| bismilla |
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