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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| resistance4ever |
| 06/06/04 at 06:29:31 |
| [slm] I've been reading alot on wives whose husbands have second or third wives and how unhappy they are about the situation, saying they had no say in the matter and that their lives are a livinh hell. I dont want my fiancee to ever have to worry about me taking a second wife whilst still married to her. So what i was thinking is would it be allowed for me to put in the marriage contract that i will not take another wife whilst married to her? I would like to do this to put my fiancees mind at ease as she has already indicated she would not be able to cope with a second wife. So is it possible for a husband to have this as part of an islaamic marriage contract? |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| Mossy |
| 06/06/04 at 08:41:09 |
| [url=http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00003144.aspx]Tafwid[/url]. I intend to. |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| theOriginal |
| 06/06/04 at 09:36:53 |
| [slm] Oh that's awesome. Brothers putting it in the contract instead of sisters. That totally solves the selfishness issue. MashaAllah, may Allah ta'Ala bless your marriage :) Wasalaam. |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| Kathy |
| 06/06/04 at 10:53:01 |
| [slm] You never ever know what your future will hold for you. I suggest you don't disallow yourself something Allah swt allows you. I asked my hubby before we married how he felt about the issue, he said he had no intentions of it and no one in his family ever found the need to. This was good enough for me. I wonder tho if something happened and I could not have children. Would it be fair of him to go his life without any critters running around? On the flip side, say we were maried for 15 years, no children came, he wanted some so I get dumped so he can find a fertile wife? Nah.... he just continues to care and love me and marries another. I realize this issue is really hot and sensitive for those in their 20's and thirties. As you get older and greyer, you get to see alot of that 'flip' side... |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| pearl |
| 06/06/04 at 15:10:52 |
| [slm] Sister Kathy has some good points regarding not limiting yourself. A middle ground solution might be to write into the contract that if you do marry another woman, your first wife will have the option to divorce you without penalty (i.e., she can still keep her mahr). That way, both you and your wife have choices open to you and neither is forced into agreeing to something that curtails their rights. Anyway, whatever you decide, I think it's awesome that you are willing to show so much consideration for your future wife's feelings in this matter. Pearl :-) |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| resistance4ever |
| 06/06/04 at 17:11:06 |
| [slm] <<You never ever know what your future will hold for you. I suggest you don't disallow yourself something Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala allows you.>> Its allowed, but its not really something that should be abused, and sadly the more than 1 wife ruling is mostly abused by muslim men who simply have more than one wife as a variation in their sex lives. The 4 wife ruling was made at a time when men were in short supply, when there were many wars and many men were killed in battle, leaving a number of widows with children and no man to provide the income. However, today, many of the men who have more than one wife do not live in circumstances remotely similar to those of the time the ruling was revealed. <<I asked my hubby before we married how he felt about the issue, he said he had no intentions of it and no one in his family ever found the need to. This was good enough for me.>> This may have been good enough for you but it will not neccesarily be good for all women. many women will always have that worry in the back of their mind that their husband may take another wife. I personally dont want my wife to ever have to worry about such a thing happening. <<I realize this issue is really hot and sensitive for those in their 20's and thirties. As you get older and greyer, you get to see alot of that 'flip' side...>> but its through peoples own experiences that they can see things differently. A young muslim woman in her 20's will see things very differently to a married muslim woman in her 40's or 50's, and regardless of how much an older muslimah tries to influence the younger one, the young one is very unlikely to change her way of thinking i.e. sharing her husband. If i was a woman, i'd want the security in knowing my husband is not gona get up and marry another woman. walaikumasalaam |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| a_lina |
| 06/06/04 at 23:58:08 |
| [slm] Are you sure you're not a sister? |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 06/07/04 at 00:13:20 |
| My wie is lucky in that point, no other woman would have me anyays |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| FajR |
| 06/07/04 at 00:44:43 |
| [quote author=resistance4ever link=board=sis;num=1086514171;start=0#5 date=06/06/04 at 17:11:06] [slm] This may have been good enough for you but it will not neccesarily be good for all women. many women will always have that worry in the back of their mind that their husband may take another wife. I personally dont want my wife to ever have to worry about such a thing happening. [/quote] [slm] lol iman! subhanAllah, that really is very thoughtful......i think its great that ure williing to do this......may Allah bless yr marriage inshAllah |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| a_lina |
| 06/07/04 at 00:50:35 |
| [slm] [quote]may Allah bless yr marriage inshAllah [/quote] ...and may Allah grant all brothers and sisters spouses who are truly a source of Rahma and tranquility. Ameen |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| Halima |
| 06/09/04 at 04:04:19 |
| [slm] What impresses me here is the THOUGHTFULNESS of this BROTHER. Allahu Akbar. Putting your wife's mind and PEACE is something OUTSTANDING. May this character and other good ones you have remain with you the rest of your life. And may the lady you will marry be a THOUGHTFUL person too, AMEEN. Sis Azizah needs to read this. It is one answer to her qestion about what a hubby can do that has no monetary value. [wlm] Halima |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| Sunnah_ |
| 06/12/04 at 03:30:21 |
| I agree with the last post! How thoughtful! Amazing bro. If you can do this, I think that would be great. Lucky lady. May Allah bless you too and may you live a long happy life together!.....just the 2 of you :) Sis Sunnah_ [] |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| MIT |
| 06/14/04 at 05:23:57 |
| assalaamu alaikum Question: Why close a door voluntarily which you *may* need to walk through in future? |
| NS |
| Re: [wlm]Can I put this in marriage contract? |
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| jannah |
| 06/14/04 at 12:18:45 |
| peeps you can always renegotiate later in life. you aren't "closing any doors". but by putting something like that in the contract, it makes it contingent on her agreeing and gives her the option to divorce, and like the brother said this may give a sister alot more reassurance than someone just saying they don't intend to marry again. [wlm] |
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