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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Marriage advice for a nervous brother |
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| resistance4ever |
| 06/09/04 at 16:32:55 |
| [slm] A question for all the married brothers out their, what advice can you give someone who is soon to get married and is getting increasingly nervous about the idea, not just about the actual wedding day itself, but the whole thing of being someone elses "other half". I've been single all my life and have been a very independant person, and the prospect of being in a relationship, being married, having somneone so dependant on me is worrying me and making me nervous. Is this normal???!! And now can sisters reading this please cover their eyes or turn away! The wedding night! I dont have a clue what to do!! I'm a big virgin and the "wedding night" antics is also getting me nervous. I keep thinking i dont feel comfortable with this sister yet, still feel slightly nervous in her presence, and the thought of having sex with someone i really dont know that well is daunting. Would it be wrong if i wanted to put it off until it just "happened" naturally later down the line, and not have to DO it on the night of the Nikkah???? :( [wlm] |
| Re: Marriage advice for a nervous brother |
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| ft |
| 06/09/04 at 19:47:39 |
| [slm] I am not very sure about the first part of your question but I can tell you about my experience. I was nervous going in to the marriage. One month leading in to the marriage, I started to feel that I wasn't ready for it. But Alhamdulillah it happened and everything is well. So I suggest hang in there. Everything will be fine inshaAllah. part 2 of your question, try this link; [url=http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=1986&dgn=4]first night[/url] may Allah subhanahu wa tala make everything easy for you. |
| Re: Marriage advice for a nervous brother |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 06/09/04 at 20:14:40 |
| Well, the 1st night. I am not sure how muslims wedding are, but it is a long and busy day, so some people are exhausted from the prceding ceremonies. If you are like most people though you will "do it" when it feels right. I doubt you will have to put it off though, because it most likely feel right within about 10 seconds, 10 minutes if you are a very patient person (does 10 seconds count as later down the line?) after closing your hotel door. As far as pointers, i doubt that I can put any of that on here, but just remember, it is the giving and taking of pleasure and if both partners are going in the same direction it will come out alright. If you want or need any more details i guess you could message me. Well, anyways, enjoy God's blessing and a good long happy marriage to the both of you. |
| Re: Marriage advice for a nervous brother |
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| sal |
| 06/10/04 at 16:20:24 |
| [quote]A question for all the married brothers out their, what advice can you give someone who is soon to get married and is getting increasingly nervous about the idea, not just about the actual wedding day itself, but the whole thing of being someone elses "other half". I've been single all my life and have been a very independant person, and the prospect of being in a relationship, being married, having somneone so dependant on me is worrying me and making me nervous. Is this normal!![/quote] NO this is not normal, so wait untill you find yourself that kind of thought is no more existing . If a marrage takes place under this circumstance you will tyrannize the wife taking her as exotic thing make sure you should get rid of these thoughts as soon as possible [quote]The wedding night! I dont have a clue what to do!! I'm a big virgin and the "wedding night" antics is also getting me nervous. I keep thinking i dont feel comfortable with this sister yet, still feel slightly nervous in her presence, and the thought of having sex with someone i really dont know that well is daunting. Would it be wrong if i wanted to put it off [/quote] if you pass the first test (get married)normaly, the second question will be answered by yourself automaticaly when the time for that is due |
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