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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| need advice |
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| timbuktu |
| 06/13/04 at 11:24:27 |
| [slm] I have ben wondering why i have failed to reach higher positions in life, and why i have not been able to hold on to them when I had the chance. don't get me wrong. i am happy enough with what i have, and the 1600 cc car i mentioned was not for boasting, but rather in my present state of health I need a lot of comforts. about having higher aims in life, i read somewhere that Allah (swt) prefers strong Muslims (and the context was strength in wordly affairs. If I am wrong please correct me). I still have about two and three quarters years before retirement, and i would like to be strong deen-wise as well as worldwise. plus the life expectancy in Pakistan has gone up by five years. so i have analyzed myself as to what physical causes there may be for my failures, and is there anything I can do about them. Here is the analysis: i am rather shy, do not make friends easily, and not able to keep up with lots of acquaintances. don't remember their families, interests, etc. more the bookish type :) so, no or poor public relationing. am not very particular about dress. Clean but not necessarily suit and tie, a pre-requisite for successs in this part of the world. when tired or hungry, i lose interest, and need to satisfy that immediately. i concentrate more on what interests me, rather than what the boss wants. i see my faults readily, so am unable to defend myself or put the balme on others, hence the buck stops at me. "i am a very responsible person. For everything that goes wrong, i am held responsible." :) i am naive. I see the good in people, even when i see them scheming against me, I forgive them. cannot see how to counter any schemers, so my defence mechanism leaves it to Allah. i have been giving advice, and i think rather good ones, too, but for the above i don't have any. are there any duas for correcting these "faults", or should i at this age, concentrate on just being myself, and leave everything to Allah. would appreciate input. shukran |
| 06/13/04 at 11:32:39 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: need advice |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 06/13/04 at 12:18:36 |
| [slm] i cannot really give you sound advice as i am not learned and i have not experienced much of life yet. but i really want to let you know that the moment you came in the board and replied some of my posts i have been awed by you. i started to care about you as if you are my own brother and i have always asked your advice. for some reason i feel an attachment especially after you told me that you were in Bangladesh and you cared about Bangladesh and had lot of bengali friends. in some way, i am same as you are, ( i can never be as wise as you are :))...about being shy, bookish, and the way you are at work. in my "little and limited work life" i am already the way you are. at work i do the same too. and i know what you mean... i feel like i will never succeed in life and that i will alz have a low income. sigh. what i can tell you is what my father told me. he says that in this life Allah [swt] has destined certain goods (money, happiness, limit of success) for us, and we won't get any more than that. he also says that if we can have sabr with whatever we have, Allah [swt] have mercy on us and we will feel we have enough. i believe that you have sabr brother, so inshaallah Allah [swt] will take care of the rest. inshaallah. please don't worry. ma salaama |
| 06/13/04 at 12:22:28 |
| IMuslim_4Ever |
| Re: need advice |
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| Kathy |
| 06/13/04 at 12:22:38 |
| [slm] How do you define success? |
| Re: need advice |
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| lala |
| 06/13/04 at 20:11:17 |
| [slm] someone told me that they shy away from things because they are scared of failure...possibly that may be part of the answer...or you are fine and are just over analyzing yourself. I see people my age (26) who are already doctors, lawyers, phds etc etc and wonder why is it that I only have a masters degree and still not set in a career path et et et..I wonder if I am too far behind and if I wont get to where I want ot be..considering i'm not sure where that is. The problem with that sort of thought is that everyone is on a different page..we were made to be different. Variation leads to a better 'gene pool' so to speak. Hence success is not what job you hold or amount of money you make but it is what you CAN DO...and that is an open book.. From your posts you come off as a very reflective and wise person. Someone who I think is perfectly fine:) If you want to work on your PR skills I suggest starting where you are most strong...probably not public speaking but by writing..possibly editorials, letters etc. We are never too old to learn new things...take a speech class or something if you get bored after retirement or even now if you can. Look, for the many of us who have not achieved what we hoped to have or think we should have by now...think why? Is it the fear of failing and wasting time..is it anxiety thinking we'll have to take on more responsibilities...or is it just our luck? or are we pursuing the wrong things...if we were to pursue something we loved I'm sure our outcomes would be better.. Surely never lose faith in Allah swt. His will is our destiny...but by his graces we have some sort of free will. Theres nothing wrong with being forgiving...I have the same problem..been crossed many times but refuse to give up on people...everyone has faults..and its good to believe in your fellow man.. I cant offer any hadiths right now but will do some research on that.. much love salaams |
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