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| Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 06/30/04 at 02:02:52 |
| [slm]... WARNING: Irritated Sister on venting mode. So I think most of you Sisters know me enough on here to imagine what I went through. And Brothers, piece of advice, don't do what these Brothers did, ok? Please. I wrote earlier that I was a little stressed out with work and weddings (still have one left this weekend) so I needed a vacation to relax me. I went to California last week for a wedding and later took my family to Disneyland, etc. Anyways, when we were in China town, I decided to go buy my Uncle some tea that we don't have in Washington that he likes. And in that tea shop, this Brother says: [slm] Sister. blah blah blah...are you looking for a husband because I'm looking for a wife and I would love to marry a beautiful Muslim Sister like you. I promise to make you happy and blah blah blah....then he started to recite ayats from Surah Al-Baqarah before I could even say anything. SO I let him finish and I was like, I am married and have children. Are you happy in your marraige? Of course I am! It's not proper for you to ask a Sister to marry you like that in public and you don't even know me!! But my heart beated so fast when I first saw you so I had to try then he started to recite more Quran verses and I was like, I have to go and didn't get the tea. He ran after me and was like WAIT Sister. Here's my card so you can call me if you find any available Sisters. He borrowed the cahsier's pen (who was like :o ) to write down his home #, cell, pager, his many work #s of job and charities he volunteered at. I was like :o and annoyed. I was like Brother, I don't know you, how can I play match maker? Trust a Brother who recited from the Qur'an, I'll make a good husband. I was like :o. My brother came in and was like, What's taking you so long? So the brother goes to him...you are a very lucky man to have such a beautiful wife who practices her religion. :D My brother was so MAD. He yelled, Are you crazy? She's not my wife! She's my sister! And Oh My God...the Brother goes...I want to marry your sister. What can I do to make this possible? You are crazy. You talk to my sister again and I'll beat you senseless. I don't get it. Because that happened to me once so I had to take my brother with me to where ever I wanted to go which irritated him. And when he went with me, the 2nd brother that approached me afterwards my brother tells me to tell them that I'm married and have children but these guys still don't get it. So the 4th brother that asked me to marry him, my brother just lost it. He was kind of nice to the 2nd guy, but by the 3rd "You are lucky to have her as your wife." Well, he just lost it. Then he was like, we're going home, I can't take this anymore. I mean, do I have a sign on my forehead or hijab that says AVAILABLE Sister, come ask me to marry you cause I'll be as desparate as you and say YES on the spot??? WHAT were they thinking? That's all I have to say for now cause I'm just so I DON"T GET IT! I'm an ugly person. The men in my life tells me so. Ma-assalaamah... |
| 06/30/04 at 02:03:57 |
| Trustworthy |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Milaya |
| 06/30/04 at 05:20:06 |
| [slm] my first reaction to ur post :o, then :D ;D. whoa! yeah I know how u felt, sis! Gosh! this happened to me (several times) a while ago, especially after I wore the hijab.I wonder why muslim guys(not all of course) can be so pushy and scary at times ::). they claim to be good practising muslims, yet behave in such embarrassing impolite manner( yeah they should be embarrassed of theirseves!! >:(), u look like a good muslima, u are the one I'm lookin for (apparently they fall in love at the 1st sight :D) and I'd like to marry u and ...gimme ur #... bla...bla...bla. I'm like ohh puhhleaaaze....get lost!. I also heard that men in Saudi Arabia are scary too, if u sisters look*different* they wont hesitate to*kidnap* :o and run u away. err...is that true??? |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Kathy |
| 06/30/04 at 06:28:46 |
| [slm] A couple of months ago I got a 'marriage inquiry' from a brother in my own masjid! ;-) I told my hubby about it and after 12 years of marriage I finally got a wedding ring! Wonder what my hubby's incentive was? ;) |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| tree |
| 06/30/04 at 09:26:15 |
| Grrrrrrrrrr..... >:( (but i won't say anything in case it ends up like the fair and lovely thread ;)) |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Halima |
| 06/30/04 at 09:44:53 |
| Sis Kathy wrote: [quote]I told my hubby about it and after 12 years of marriage I finally got a wedding ring! Wonder what my hubby's incentive was?[/quote] Me thinks he stopped taking you for granted! Sis Trustworth wrote: [quote]That's all I have to say for now cause I'm just so I DON"T GET IT! I'm an ugly person. The men in my life tells me so.[/quote] Normally, men in your life will not see. Again being taken for granted? But I think that it is improper for a brother to approach someone like that in public even if she is a Muslim sister. The point exactly is that you are still a stranger to him. Reciting the Qur'an is one thing but practicing proper adab is another. Halima |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 06/30/04 at 11:21:59 |
| [slm].... Oh...I forgot to add...it gave me an ego fo a while then my brother reminded me that I''m not all that! Go figure. Oh well...Wonder what would've happened if I said yes to any of them....NOT! I heard that getting a fake ring and telling ppl that you're married is haraam. Is that true? Thanks for listening Sisters. Ma-assalaamah..... |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| humble_muslim |
| 06/30/04 at 12:37:50 |
| AA California? Maybe it was Mike in disguise... |
| NS |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| jannah |
| 06/30/04 at 12:51:41 |
| [wlm] ;D ;D ;D... man i can't relate :( how come i'm the only one that gets old guys!! like 20 years older!!! :( :( :( finally i learned to say "i'm sorry but you are my father's age. no." |
| 06/30/04 at 12:52:35 |
| jannah |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 06/30/04 at 18:34:16 |
| [slm] WoW! ;D My older sister (married with a lovely 2 years old girl) falls into these situations all the time. :) Don't worry... just laugh them off... [quote author=Trustworthy link=board=bebzi;num=1088571773;start=0#5 date=06/30/04 at 11:21:59] [slm].... I heard that getting a fake ring and telling ppl that you're married is haraam. Is that true? quote] True? Any answer?? ma salaama |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| superFOB |
| 06/30/04 at 18:35:48 |
| [slm] [quote author=Trustworthy link=board=bebzi;num=1088571773;start=0#0 date=06/30/04 at 02:02:52]That's all I have to say for now cause I'm just so I DON"T GET IT! I'm an ugly person. The men in my life tells me so.[/quote] Since you don't get it, let me enumerate your options for you: Stop going out, start wearing a niqab, or enjoy this attention while it lasts :) [quote author=jannah link=board=bebzi;num=1088571773;start=0#7 date=06/30/04 at 12:51:41] ;D ;D ;D... man i can't relate :( how come i'm the only one that gets old guys!! like 20 years older!!! :( :( :( finally i learned to say "i'm sorry but you are my father's age. no."[/quote] Maybe they get hopelessly entangled in your 'islamo-femi-nazi' aura :) |
| 06/30/04 at 18:37:01 |
| superFOB |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| jannah |
| 06/30/04 at 22:09:26 |
| [wlm] many guys of that age are hopelessly ultra traditional along with chauvenistic because of the way they've been raised.. so doubtful at that.. i think they are just looking for a wife, any wife. |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| M.F. |
| 07/01/04 at 11:11:04 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I remember this happening to me when I first went to California (coincidence?) for a semester. It was the local imam and he just met me on the street and guessed it was me (I supposed he'd been told someone new was coming through) and asked me about marrying him... Anyway, back to Trustworthy's story. I'm appalled at how disrespectful these men are!!!! Not just towards you but let's assume you really were married and your brother was really your husband. I mean how disprespectul can you get!!?? Complimenting a man on his wife!!!!!!!!? To me that was the worst part of the story. I'm not too astounded by the rest. Perhaps it's a California thing...Approaching strangers for marriage.... ??? |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 07/01/04 at 11:16:54 |
| hmmm, this is a funny story *smile*.... don't worry sister jannah, ur not the only one this hasnt happened to hehehe...sr. trustworthy, where i come from this is actually very normal; a guy sees a gril in the streets, thinks he is interested and either approaches her or the gentlemen with her to see if she is available. some guys actually just follow the girl to her home and then ask the neighbors (usually the little kids playing infront of the house have all the good info), and he goes to talk to her father/brother or whoever is the man of the house. this actually happened to my cousin. it was her, me, my mom and my sister and we were traveling by bus in my country from city to another. my mom and cousin sat next to each other, and my sister and i sat behind them. Infront of them was a guy who very quickly i mihgt add noticed how pretty my cousin was and so he started to talk to my mom about how he was interested in her and how he and his brother are both looking. i thought it was very funny actually.... |
| 07/01/04 at 11:17:25 |
| onemuslimgirl |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| theOriginal |
| 07/01/04 at 11:23:11 |
| [slm] that's nuts. i don't get why people do that? i've had incidents like that before...just don't know how to process them, much less react to them. I mean do you take some random guy standing on a bench yelling "I MARRY YOU RIGHT NOW" seriously? Or the bookstore owner telling you that he has a wife but he's looking for one more who looks just like you. or the guy at the lake who stops you and says "can i buy you a drink?" and you're like "no i don't drink." and he's like "mashaAllah, me either. how about coffee?" crazy, crazy. |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 07/01/04 at 12:41:03 |
| [slm] well, not knowing how it is, but I'd trade that for the bozo who just drove past me on the way home and yells "sand n*****" at me. Thing is if I wasnt dressed this way he'd be pestering to marry me. ylich :o shudder. |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| jannah |
| 07/01/04 at 13:19:02 |
| [wlm] funny stories, but sad eh :) onemuslimgirl someone once told me in syria that is how guys find a wife!! they just see a girl randomly like at a store or on the bus and then try to find out about her and then send someone to go ask for her.. pretty crazy huh :o :o |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 07/01/04 at 14:05:14 |
| [slm] I think it happens just aobut everywhere that a guy sees a girl and asks around about her, its just in most cases he is usually smart enought to pay off his informants so they dont tattle. Then he makes up some story about a distand uncle she has never heard of, and if the folks like him they back him up and the couple is long married when the girl finds out about the rouse. But what are we objecting to here? If a man cant date you he has to either shaddow you our court your wali or both. the people who claim on me have set me up several times (once resulting in severe head trauma), and quite frankly I'm better off picking up strangers who wander up and introduce themselves, though I dont. Muslims beleive there is somone for everyone, but some ethnic groups think only people with certain connections are entitled to marriage. Look at how people got fixed up in the time of the prophet [saw]. There's plenty of stories of men seeing a woman and asking around about her, even the prophet aproached people about their daughters and sent letters of intention to women directly. So is this just a brag/bitch session? I mean I guess I'm lucky that I have some sort of air that causes people only to sometimes ask around about me, then I have to send back throught the grapevine that I'm weirder than a box of snails and whirleygigs and unless they're kinda goofy we're not liable to get along. I mean opposites may work soemtimes, but inthe case of spacy and cheerful, only spacy and cheerful will work. well this has been brought to you by rrrRAerrr (is there a cat smiley anywhere?). |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Mona |
| 07/01/04 at 18:37:22 |
| [slm] those guys need to be hosed down :D i guess they (the stalker type men) have been watching way too many arabic-type movies. :-/ i am finding this thread highly entertaining. keep the stories rolling, please. take care wassalam Mona |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/02/04 at 13:08:14 |
| [slm]... You guys are too cool.... Number 1? That is frightening yet may be romantic cause I do see that a lot in the Arab and Hindi films. That also happens in like our cultural films too where the guy falls in love at first sight and then stalks her and her friends and ask questions about her then according to what he finds out act that way. It supposed to be romantic. However, in American movies, it’s frightening cause then this guy has an obsession and the girl ends up dead somehow. That is not in my case. I think these guys were just desperate. Like I said, I’m not all that. So I did not take them as compliments. I took it as insults because how does a guy marry a girl from the street. I could be looney…you know? But 3 in one afternoon, DANG! And I hate attention. When I’m out shopping, I go in and come out like Speedy Gonzales cause I hate attention and side conversations when I’m busy, gets me irritated. I wear my jilbab and hijab, sensible shoes, and no make up. Unless I’m out leisurely, then I’d probably be the first to start a side conversation. SuperFOB? I thought about wearing a niqab, but a colleague of mine and I were out at a site for business (a clinic) and a Muslimah was wearing black and a niqab so he says to me, Her eyes are gorgeous. I wonder what else is underneath? I bet she’s gorgeous. So I snapped, WHAT’S wrong with you? The reason why she wears that is to not bring attention to her body. And he replies, But her eyes are so alluring. I said, Shut up. Because of men like you, husbands force their wives to wear burkas and stay at home. Then he was like, That’s the problem. You think us men don’t wonder about what’s hidden underneath. That’s what makes it exciting. If she wore something like you, I wouldn’t wonder at all and let her be because I see that she’s not hiding anything. I wonder what her husband is hiding. Is she that gorgeous that he’s afraid someone might steal her away or what? It’s quite a challenge. I was like, Whatever! Jannah, no worries Sis. The oldest man that proposed through the right channels was 60 and the youngest was 25. My mother rejects those 40 and over for me and tells me about the ones under 40 to think about. Then I was thinking, guys over 40 are pretty much set in their ways so if they’re religious and a family man then that’s what I’m looking for but…then again…I don’t want to be a widow anytime soon either. I know Allahu Alim. I’ve already been married and so now I’m going to be right minded and absolutely PICKY. I’ve never had a romantic story. Don’t buy me flowers, buy me something useful like an apple to fill me up or a screw driver. You can never have too many screw drivers. What am I going to do with flowers? I don’t even like love stories so being picky is all that I have going for me. Who ever came up with sand nazi? That’s so STUPID. What’s it supposed to mean? That we are desert people who hate Jews? That’s really stupid. You should’ve told him…”The longer you stay IGNORANT, the more DESTINED for HELL you’ll be. Can’t say I didn’t warn ya’ on Judgment Day.” I’ve never been called that, but I’ve never seen a sandy desert and I’m not fond of nazi-white power crap. Really, sand nazi makes no sense at all. Al-Hamdulillah. May Allah bless us all, Ameen. Ma-assalaamah…. |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 07/02/04 at 16:36:03 |
| [slm] he didnt say "nazi" it was the other n word. I first heard it during the first gulf war, but at the time only massad knew I was muslim, other then a few others on a need to know basis and I wasnt among them. This guy was driving by too fast to yell at. although on previous encounters A rab has the same rhythm as Jack A** osama rhymes with yo mama and there are others but I cant think of them right now. actually I started muttering about how his head and maybe I should offer to lighten his load, but only loud enough for my collar to hear, since I felt this latest incident probably had to do with the recent beheadings, and I have felt a little less safe about since that all happened. but if that is it, it is without any ballance or fair measure, since I have never heard a suporter of isreal called buldozer jockey or anything like that. Its just an amusement for the ignorant. You know if you dont want stranger proposals you need an expesive looking watch and a smart alec attitude, and spend more on clothing. but even with that I got the impression today that I am about to get a public proposal form some one who knows I wont say yes because he thinks he'll be able to put me on the spot and make me explain why to make me look bad. It will back fire, inshaallah. the brother just needs to learn and things will start to go better for him inshaallah, but if he goes through with this he will be in a deeper hole. Its all about intention. Hopefully it is only a stray thought and not a real plan. about niqab, brothers may wonder what is under there, but they do so from a distance, this is what I have noticed, they may be more curious but you do indeed look less aproachable, and there is an intimidation factor that isnt present with only a hijab. |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Nadeem |
| 07/02/04 at 21:31:20 |
| [slm] [quote author=Trustworthy link=board=bebzi;num=1088571773;start=0#0 date=06/30/04 at 02:02:52]blah blah blah...are you looking for a husband because I'm looking for a wife and I would love to marry a beautiful Muslim Sister like you. I promise to make you happy and blah blah blah....then he started to recite ayats from Surah Al-Baqarah before I could even say anything.[/quote] Yeah I know how you feel. I get men coming up to me too, reciting ayats. I think its the way I wear my hair. ??? :P [wlm] |
| Re: Does my forehead read AVAILABLE? |
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| Doha_03 |
| 07/06/04 at 00:01:17 |
| Assalaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh... lol bro Nadeem. Okay, these stories were HILARIOUS! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I got interrogated by this lady at the masjid...one question after another. "Are you married? Where are you from? Do you want to get married? Where do you live? Where you born here?" and on and on...I was like "chill out I'm only 15!" But I didn't really say that. :) I once got a marriage proposal at the gas station. lol. It was crazy. He was so blunt. "Do you want to get married?" I was like "I just want gas please!" :) I could go on and on... People are crazy. But nothing beats being in Yemen. omg, its insane. Wasalaam Alaikum, Doha |
| 07/06/04 at 00:08:06 |
| Doha_03 |
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