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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book on |
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| Saam |
| 07/16/04 at 03:53:44 |
| [slm] My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, how are things? For me, things have been much better, but alhamdulillah, I'm still doing well enough. I've mentioned earlier troubles I have had with my family and esp parents after reverting, but recently things have gotten immensly worse. Before, my parents disagreed with me and Islam but were still tolerant of it as they saw it as one of the many world religions. Recetly, however, they seem to have become extremely intolerant of Islam and me being Muslim. In fact, my father, in spite of what I keep explaining to him, seems to be thoroughly convinced that Islam is a religion of hate and violence and has recently taken up the habit of trying (though in vain) to find ways to attack our beloved Prophet (SAWS). Ever since I gave him an English approximation of the Qur'an, he has chosen to pick and choose verses of it, like Ayat-ul-Sayf 9:5, to interpret out-of-context according to either his own personal interpretations or the interpretations of whatever missionaries he can find. When I try to give him the proper context or when I ask him to consult the imam at the masjid in my town about whatever verses he is trying to interpret, he says that he thinks Muslim scholars are lying and "sugar coating" the real command of the verse. No matter how many times I try to tell him that the sunnah qualifies the meaning of the Qur'an, he will not listen. Then he uses some actual examples, like the punishment for apostacy, to try to prove to me that Islam is a hateful religion. I attempted to explain to my father the hikmah in the punishment for apostacy, but he will not listen to that either. (I guess this is a difficult issue to explain to non-Muslims). All in all, my parents feel that Muhammad [saw] lived a life terrorizing mankind; it seems whatever information they are getting are coming from missionaries or atheists. My parents have gotten so intolerant towards Islam that they are no longer willing to support me if I stay a Muslim. This isn't too big of a deal since, alhamdulillah, I have only 1 year of undergrad left and I can find a means to work and make it through this last year, but all the same, the emotional burden of feeling somewhat disowned is quite heavy. I ask for only two favors: Please make du'a for me and my situation with my family and for guidance for my family. It seems that the seal over the hearts of my parents is so great, as they feel such disavowal towards Islam, but I know that Allah will guide them if He wills. Also, if any of you know of a good book of the Seerah of Muhammad (SAWS) based on authentic sources (I know there are some pretty sketchy ones out there), please let me know about it so insha'Allah, I can give a copy to my parents and let them decide about the Prophet's life (SAWS) based on true sources. My dear brothers and sisters, again, please make du'a for me. These trials are very difficult for me. JazakumAllahu khayran. Wassalaam, Saam ;-) |
| 07/16/04 at 05:13:08 |
| Saam |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| Maliha |
| 07/18/04 at 23:00:16 |
| [slm] bro Saam, I just wanted to say that I have been very affected by your trials..Subhana Allah. May Allah grant you the strength that you need, mad barakahs, and open the doors of Rahma and Guidance for your parents Inshaallah (amin). There are several good seerah books out there...Al Umari wrote a book that is extremely *authentic*, he even used the hadith methodology to filter out the Seerah stories and only selected the most precise of events. I am sorry i don't remember the actual title of the book. The only problem with this book is that, due to the restricted details, it doesn't necessarily engender the kind of love for the Rasul [saw] that you would from other books. I had asked here before, about a book that really engenders that beautiful inspiration within and was recommended Martin Lings biography of the Rasul [saw]. It was breathtaking Mashaallah. There were very few spurious elements in it, and not enough to take away from the amazing style of writing, and details he incorporated. The other good book is "the sealed nectar", but its style is not as beautiful as Lings, and it tends to be more focused on the Ghazwas/battles which might not be too helpful for your parents :) I would really recommend Martin Lings for them, Qadhi Iyad wrote a book on the Virtues of the Prophet [saw] that was also really beautiful in highlighting all the amazing qualities of our Prophet. The seerah expert on board is Jannah actually:) so when the wedding hectic stuff goes down, I am sure she will have some good recommendations for you:) Take care, stay strong and positive Inshaallah:) [wlm] |
| 07/18/04 at 23:01:18 |
| Maliha |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| lala |
| 07/19/04 at 00:42:44 |
| [slm] i only read the martin lings book..and i recommend it:) good luck to you bro..you are in my duas... keep the faith..and keep striving.. much love. |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| Nadeem |
| 07/19/04 at 07:27:08 |
| [slm] Brother Saam, I feel your pain, and hope that inshallah Allah can give you the strength to get through this and that your parents become more tolerant of your new beliefs. Parents normally are very protective over their children, so I would probably guess that your father, and mother, dont have anything against you personally, but are very worried about their son falling into bad ways. The recent world circumstances, coupled with sometimes very aggressive tactics (as you have related in previous posts) used by people who are ignorant of, and fear Islam. I am highly impressed by the way you have patiently tried to explain to your father about the different things Islam that he takes issue with, mashallah. I have read the Sealed Nectar Book that sisters Nur and lala mentioned, and yes it is very nice (I loved it, myself), but yes it does focus very much on the battles fought against people wanting to destroy Islam when Muslims were only a group of a few hundred. Although we should try not to sugercoat Islam at all, perhaps it is not suitable as an intial reading for your father. I haven't read the Lings book, so cannot comment. I dont know how much help it would be, but perhaps your father would be more convinced of the Prophet's (SAW) character if it were to come from non-Muslim writers (i.e. so that he could not claim that Muslim authors had written a biased piece). There was a famous survey, in which the writer, Michael H. Hart, attempted to construct a list of the Most Influential People in History. Muhammad (SAW) was deemed (by the author) to be THE most influential person in human history, with various reasons given. Again bro, you're in my thoughts and duas... [wlm] |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/19/04 at 22:11:00 |
| [slm].... You are in my du'as Bro. No worries. I read a book about Islam and the life of the Prophet [saw] written by a non-Muslim. Masha-Allah it was a great book . I don't know what it was called but when I find it, I'll send it over. Another thing, you can have your parents read "Stories of the Prophets" by Ibn Kathir. It has the stories of the many Prophets including Isa and Muhammed (Peace be upon them). Insha-Allah, Bro. Allah (SWT) bless and many du'as.... Ma-assalaamah.... |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| UmmWafi |
| 07/19/04 at 22:50:17 |
| [wlm] bro As u have mentioned earlier that ur parents are cut-and-pasters (ie random selection of verses to vilify Islam) I don't know if giving them another book would be a good idea. Inshaa Allah, if u think it would help, then what have been recommended above are Alhamdulillah good books. What I recommend is more of teaching them about the sunnahs through your own actions. In this respect though, you have to employ hikmah because then you would only manage in alienating them further. None of us will ever have the benefit of having our heart cleansed the way the Prophet [saw] had his done so none of us will ever automatically and immediately achieve a state of iman and taqwa that is praiseworthy. For most of us, it is a long and arduous, at times even painful, journey. Imam al-Ghazzali had a nervous breakdown before he even started on a different course towards worshipping Allah SWT. Thus, my advice to you is to observe Islam in a way that would develop your soul and at the same time draw your family closer to you. It is not impossible. The seerah of the Prophet [saw] provides numerous examples of how he, the exalted one, balanced precariously the delicate line between external manifestations of his internal belief. Allahu'alam. Wassalam |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| bhaloo |
| 07/21/04 at 21:49:12 |
| [slm] May Allah (SWT) help you in this difficult time. I agree with Umm Waffi's suggestion that you should set an example of how a good Muslim should be and behave. Also, maybe you can introduce your parents to some practicing Muslims in your area, maybe invite them over for dinner or lunch, so that they can see that we're normal people. The quote that brother Nadeem was alluding to is this one by Michael Hart: Michael H. Hart of USA, compiled a ranking list of the 100 most influential persons in the history of the entire humanity, who authored book “The 100 most influential persons", published in 1978 by Hart Publishing Company Inc. He ranked Muhammad peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him, as the number one, at the top of his list. Following are brief excerpts from the chapter on Muhammad peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him. “My choice of Muhammad to lead the best of the world’s most influential persons may surprise some readers and may be questioned by others, but he was the only man in history who was supremely successful on both the religious and secular levels. Of humble origins, Muhammad founded and promulgated one of the world’s great religions, and became an immensely effective political leader. Today thirteen centuries after his death, his influence is still powerful and pervasive. The majority of the persons in this book had the advantage of being born and raised in centers of civilization, highly cultured or politically pivotal nations. Muhammad, however, was born in the year 570, in the city of Mecca, in southern Arabia, at that time a backwards area of the world, far from the centers of trade, art and learning. Orphaned at the age of six, he was reared in modest surroundings. Islamic tradition tells us that he was illiterate.” “When Muhammad died, in 632, he was the effective ruler of all of Southern Arabia”. About the rapid spread of Islaam which continued after the demise of Muhammad, Michael Hart writes that the lands that accepted Islaam included ”The Northeast of Arabia the larger Neo-Persian Empire of Sassamids; to the northwest bay Byzantine, or Eastern Roman Empire, centered in Constantinople . . . all of Mesopotamia, Syria and Palestine.” “By 711, North Africa, to the Atlantic Ocean, then the Visigoth Kingdom of Spain . . . stretching from the boarders of India to the Atlantic Ocean, the largest empire that the world had yet seen”. ;============================ Here's what the CEO of Hewlett Packard said: Part of the speech given by Carly Florina, CEO of Hewlett Packard, at Minnesoata, Minneapiolis September 26, 2001 Titled "WHAT DOES OUR FUTURE DEMAND OF LEADERS TODAY?" There was once a civilization that was the greatest in the world. It was able to create a continental super-state that stretched from ocean to ocean, and from northern climes to tropics and deserts. Within its dominion lived hundreds of millions of people, of different creeds and ethnic origins. One of its languages became the universal language of much of the world, the bridge between the peoples of a hundred lands. Its armies were made up of people of many nationalities, and its military protection allowed a degree of peace and prosperity that had never been known. The reach of this civilization’s commerce extended from Latin America to China, and everywhere in between. And this civilization was driven more than anything, by invention. Its architects designed buildings that defied gravity. Its mathematicians created the algebra and logarithms that would enable the building of computers, and the creation of encryption. Its doctors examined the human body, and found new cures for disease. Its astronomers looked into the heavens, named the stars, and paved the way for space travel and exploration. Its writers created thousands of stories. Stories of courage, romance and magic. Its poets wrote of love, when others before them were too steeped in fear to think of such things. When other nations were afraid of ideas, this civilization thrived on them, and kept them alive. When censors threatened to wipe out knowledge from past civilizations, this civilization kept the knowledge alive, and passed it on to others. While modern Western civilization shares many of these traits, the civilization I’m talking about was the Islamic world from the year 800 to 1600, which included the Ottoman Empire and the courts of Baghdad, Damascus and Cairo, and enlightened rulers like Suleiman the Magnificent. Although we are often unaware of our indebtedness to this other civilization, its gifts are very much a part of our heritage. The technology industry would not exist without the contributions of Arab mathematicians. Sufi poet-philosophers like Rumi challenged our notions of self and truth. Leaders like Suleiman contributed to our notions of tolerance and civic leadership. And perhaps we can learn a lesson from his example: It was leadership based on meritocracy, not inheritance. It was leadership that harnessed the full capabilities of a very diverse population–that included Christianity, Islamic, and Jewish traditions. This kind of enlightened leadership — leadership that nurtured culture, sustainability, diversity and courage — led to 800 years of invention and prosperity. In dark and serious times like this, we must affirm our commitment to building societies and institutions that aspire to this kind of greatness. More than ever, we must focus on the importance of leadership– bold acts of leadership and decidedly personal acts of leadership." CEO of Hewlett Packard Carly Florina |
| Re: Increased family troubles---I need a Good Book |
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| Saam |
| 07/25/04 at 22:11:24 |
| [slm] Jazakumullahu khayran dear brothers and sisters for the advice and the du'as. Please keep with the du'as ;-) . Insha'Allah, I will be able to give my family one of these books, but I know that if Allah ta'ala wants to give them tawfiq, he will. Please pray for tawfiq for them as well. May Allah ta'ala bless you all. Aameen. Wassalaam, Saam ;-) |
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