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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Confused about husband's actions |
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| khalisah |
| 07/31/04 at 21:13:41 |
| Salaams, I took my Shahada almost 4 years ago. My husband was actually the first Muslim I met. The problem I'm having is that my husband is at a place where he's not practicing Islam as he should. He doesn't go to Jumu'ah, he doesn't make Salaat, he doesn't read Qur'an, etc. He works for and with non-believers, and as such, has begun to dress like them, he constantly worries about new shoes, and sports jerseys. I've tried to speak to him about these things, and even showed him in the Qur'an where he needs to stop concerning himself with these wordly things, and focus on his Deen. He doesn't want to hear my suggestions, and even gets irritated if I bring it up. I know that when it's all said and done, I'm only responsible for my own sins, but we have three children, two of which are boys, and I feel as though their father should be their main example in Deening. How much good is it going to do to teach my children that clothes are not important, and to not get caught up in the Dunya, if their father does the complete opposite? Please tell me, am I over-reacting? If not, how should I handle this? :-) |
| Re: Confused about husband's actions |
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| jannah |
| 08/01/04 at 16:45:21 |
| walaikum salaam sister, hmm since no one responded yet here's my .002 dirhams ;) usually pointing out people's wrongdoings and brandishing ayahs and hadith isn't a good dawah method unless the person is open to what you're saying. perhaps a better way to help your husband is to encourage him to go to the masjid, to take some islamic classes, to maybe even have a small class about islam in your home everyday for your kids, cultivating some muslim couple friends that are religious, go to more mosque events.. that kind of stuff? Allahu alam maybe the married sisters can suggest some more specific things.. take care inshallah |
| Re: Confused about husband's actions |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/02/04 at 09:08:20 |
| [slm] make this dua, preferably in Tahajjud, or just before fajr, and other times that are special for acceptance of prayers. You can also make it after all fard prayers: ÑóÈøóäóÇ åóÈú áóäóÇ ãöäú ÃóÒúæóÇÌöäóÇ æóÐõÑøöíøóÇÊöäóÇ ÞõÑøóÉó ÃóÚúíõäò æóÇÌúÚóáúäóÇ áöáúãõÊøóÞöíäó ÅöãóÇãðÇ Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You. --- Surah al-Furqan, verse 74 (25:74) |
| 08/02/04 at 09:15:10 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Confused about husband's actions |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 08/02/04 at 13:13:36 |
| asalam alakum, yes, definetly making duaa is your number one weapon. also, befriend couples that you know are Islamic minded and especially if the husband is good person with good Islam and character. Don't make it obvious to ur husband that is why ur befriending them, but just ask him if you can invite so and so and her husband next saturday for dinner. the key is to do things in a subtle and slow way so that ur husband thinks its his idea not urs. Let other brothers from the masjid invite your husband to help out with activites at the masjid, or to invite him to dinner or even just tea. |
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