A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| UmmWafi |
| 08/02/04 at 01:36:24 |
| [slm] The fragility of life is something that has preoccupied my mind these past few months. Beginning with the discovery of my mother's cancer, my reflections on Allah SWT 's gift of life and death have taken me on an illuminating yet sorrowful journey. With this journey, I begin my transformation. I grieve less for the loss of life and grieve more for the ever ceaseless occupation and preoccupation we mortals have with life. In May this year, I found out that three of my former colleagues have cancer, two of whom are in critical condition. One of them, a mother of 3 children, suffered from breast cancer which had spread to her bones and another, a father of 2, has cancer of the liver which had spread to his lungs and stomache. My first reaction when I heard these news was an awareness of a tightening in my chest, gripped in fear, seized by an uncontrollable desire to scream denial. Yet, my response was calm. I asked all the technical questions, made possible by my new found knowledge about cancer derived from my obsessive research activities via the internet. I could do nothing except to make constant du'ah that somehow they and my mum will make it. For a while, it seemed as if our collective prayers would be answered for both responded well to their treatment. On Saturday, 31st July 2004, at 6.30am, I received an sms right after fajr prayers. My friend passed away after two days of battling intensive pain. She lost her fight against cancer they said. As soon as the janazah was brought home, I made preparations to visit her for the last time. Alhamdulillah, I managed to arrive when they were cleansing her. I waited patiently for them to be done and place her in the middle of the room for our last look at her. To say I was unprepared is an understatement. When Almarhumah Maryam was placed in the living room and her 11-yr old son started clutching his sister while trying so hard not to give way to his emotions and wail, my own hot tears fell unbidden, searing pain in my heart, the like of which only a mother can feel, a mother who knows and understands that this early estrangement of mother and child can happen to her too, A'udzubillah. I remember almarhumah's frequent words to our mutual friend "Who will take care of my babies ?" At that point in time, the truth is revealed. Only Allah can and will, Inshaa Allah. I cannot stop staring at her face. The recent battle scars were still etched deep in the lines of her face but she reposed in peace. All pain and fears and struggles ended, as did all her affairs of the dunya. We who are left, we must pick up the pieces. I closed my eyes and realised that I have too many pieces to pick up, too many. I trudged my way to the carpark waiting for the coffin to be brought to the hearse. Subhanallah....how can one capture the feelings of that moment ? The way little Haikal walked behind his mom's coffin and looking for all the world as if he would prefer to tear open the coffin and shake his mother awake so she can still take him in her arms and kisses his sadness away. How do I describe the way he tried to be a good Muslim and grieve silently when his little body quivered with his immense longing to give up his senses to his loss ? Loss, death...I realised that I have never truly understood those words. I have seen many deaths in my family. Too often I have considered these deaths as losses. It is only now, after everything I have gone through since that fateful day my mom collapsed, I know. You can never lose what you never have. We none of us ever owned another person. We none of us own anything except the amanaat we undertook when we made that Covenant with Allah SWT. Ma'asalamah Maryam. May Allah SWT Ease your journey to His Beautiful Gardens where the Prophet SAW and his families are waiting to welcome those beloved by Allah SWT. Amin. Wassalam |
| Re: Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| jannah |
| 08/02/04 at 11:28:34 |
| [wlm] May Allah have rahmaa on her and guide and support her family inshaAllah. Thank you for your post. We all need reminders like this. |
| Re: Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/02/04 at 11:47:41 |
| [slm] may Allah s.w.t. have mercy on marhuma's soul, and forgive her, and grant her a place in Firdawse a3alaa I truly learnt something from this post I had long forgotten jazaki Allahu Khaira |
| Re: Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| Halima |
| 08/05/04 at 04:50:09 |
| [quote]When Almarhumah Maryam was placed in the living room and her 11-yr old son started clutching his sister while trying so hard not to give way to his emotions and wail, my own hot tears fell unbidden, searing pain in my heart, the like of which only a mother can feel, a mother who knows and understands that this early estrangement of mother and child can happen to her too, A'udzubillah.[/quote] I was eleven when my mum died. I remember crying and saying that I don't have a mother anymore. I was the eldest of 6 from my mother's side. [quote]Loss, death...I realised that I have never truly understood those words. I have seen many deaths in my family. Too often I have considered these deaths as losses. It is only now, after everything I have gone through since that fateful day my mom collapsed, I know. You can never lose what you never have. We none of us ever owned another person. We none of us own anything except the amanaat we undertook when we made that Covenant with Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala.[/quote] How true. From cyring that I don't have a mother anymore, my Dad turns out to be the best MUM and DAD. This shows how Allah (SWT) is TRUELY MERCIFUL. My Dad covered that loss in a way that made us feel like we still had a mother. May Allah bless them in their graves. My condolences to you for the loss and Allah ya Arham to Maryam and Muslims who have gone before us, Ameen. Halima |
| Re: Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| rkhan |
| 08/06/04 at 01:28:17 |
| [slm] Umm Wafi Im so sorry to hear this...may Allaah have mercy on the deceased and ease the family's pain. I know how excruciating the uncertainty that surrounds cancer can be...please pray for my 5-year-old nephew who's undergoing treatment for leukaemia. |
| Re: Ma'asalamah Maryam |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/06/04 at 08:28:11 |
| [slm] sorry to hear about your nephew, sis Reflection. can the parents take him for Umrah, and make dua when first seeing the ka`aba, and when drinking the zamzam? my colleagues nephew had leukaemia, and his parents tried it, and he recovered fully. My own nephew didn't survive, but then my brother did not remember this healing effect of the zamzam, and took him for treatment direct to the US. may Allah (swt) grant your nephew complete recovery aameen |
| 08/06/04 at 08:29:55 |
| timbuktu |
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