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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| haajirah2 |
| 08/17/04 at 03:07:31 |
| What is a better alternative to dating in Islam in order to find a husband/wife...by still encapturing the interest of the youth? |
| 08/17/04 at 14:03:11 |
| jannah |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| Mona |
| 08/18/04 at 07:22:34 |
| [slm] Those who want to marry should just express this explicitly and pursue ta'aruf during the engagement period. In islam, engagement announcements are not usually encouraged, because the engagement is a verbal promise of marriage but may not necessarily lead to marriage. The period that preceeds engagement should ensure that the man and the woman have a minimum of qualities, such as keeping prayers, dressing modestly, being employed, not having a criminal record. During the engagement itself, the couple tries to find ways to connect which each other and see how much they have in common. So how should muslim lads go about approaching the young ladies? Well, it is a fact that youth interact in the university, within some youth group, or while attending a conference, islamic retreat, or social gathering. Just take it from there and ask relatives to initiate the talk about the engagement, if and when the young man is ready to get married. Keep it natural and simple. Dating rarely works as a method of finding a spouse, and I am talking about people who are not muslim. Dating is usually just a method of feeding one's desires and shahwa, with no strings attached. take care wassalam Mona |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/20/04 at 06:20:55 |
| [slm] Try www.naseeb.com :) [wlm] |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/20/04 at 06:23:22 |
| How does one go about finding a husband if they are not involved with an active Muslim community? And have neither family nor friends to help? |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/21/04 at 00:15:55 |
| [slm] Ads on 1) www.naseeb.com 2) www.shaadi.com or contact Sr Kathy /Momma Mod [wlm] |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| jannah |
| 08/21/04 at 00:30:32 |
| [wlm] [quote]How does one go about finding a husband if they are not involved with an active Muslim community? And have neither family nor friends to help?[/quote] That's like asking: How does one go about finding water in a desert if they don't have a camel, a map or a shovel !?? You can't expect a husband to fall out of the sky....even if you ask Allah, and He grants your dua you have to find the worldly means to make it happen. So go ahead and try some stuff. Get involved with some projects, ask family, ask friends, ask people you meet. The majority of my friends who have gotten married met through friends... so tell everyone you meet you want to get married and they can be on the lookout and try to hook something up for you. If you don't have any friends or don't even go to a mosque to meet muslim acquaintances ie as in you don't have any contact with muslims i have to say ur kind of asking for an impossibility. You can always try out some various other means that were mentioned... On Naseeb i don't think the people are too serious about getting married.. it's more a social/getting to know u place, many of the people are at different levels of islam, but i guess you never know. matrimonial sites seem to be kinda shady.. all kinds of strange people.. you don't know who's real or fake or what...so that's kind of dicey... so my advice... 1. make dua 2. make some muslim friends and inshaAllah u'll find someone... Rabbana Hablana min azwaajina wadhurriy-yatina, qurrata'ayioni wa-jalna lil-muttaqeena Imaama |
| Re: Islamic Alternatives to Dating |
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| muslimah853 |
| 08/22/04 at 11:05:37 |
| [slm] Jannah is right in that there are all kinds of folks on matrimonial sites, however, I do know a few people who used them and found good, practicing spouses, and are now in happy marriages. If you are going to use that route, be prepared to weed through tons of people before you find anyone worth a second look, and once you find someone who looks potentially interesting, check him out over and over again. The people I know all took at least a year of correspondance, background checking, i.e. checking out references from the community, etc. The sisters actually asked for job references, called the brothers' jobs to make sure they really worked there, etc. They visited the brother's living quarters in the other state with their wali, made sure to meet the family ahead of time, etc. You have to be very diligent about it, but it is an option that can work. If you are not going to be very thorough, then I don't advise that at all. |
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