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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now he w |
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| uksara |
| 08/24/04 at 10:22:12 |
| ???One of my boyfriends family has passed away back in pakistan. Since he heard the news he dosnt want to talk to me or contact me, he told me to leave him alone. I dont know if he dosnt want to talk to me for the religious issues, like talking to a girl at this present time,relationship b4 marriage isnt accept in islaam etc. He mite have realised because of a close family death that I mean absolutly nothing to him at all, because you have like a reality check on life dont you when things like this happen, u realise what you got in life and whats important. I asked him to talk to me,share his problems let him know id be there for him in this sad time, but he dosnt want to know.i jus cant understand were i stand with him could it be just for the religious issues and its haraam to talk to girls at this time, or he just wants space or that I mean nothing to him at allafter a year and half relationship, i just dont know what to think? Need advice. |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/24/04 at 10:44:43 |
| [slm] How can any one tell what is his issue. You have already picked two that might be the ones. quite apart from the relationship being haraam, give him time. In the meantime, read up on Islam, think about it, does it make sense to you? review what you have learnt about Islam and the God in Islam. we can tell you from an Islamic point of view what to do, and it will benefit you, insha`Allah, but we don't know what are your views regarding Allah (swt) and Islam. |
| 08/26/04 at 15:29:11 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| Trustworthy |
| 08/25/04 at 04:31:06 |
| [slm].... YIKES!!! Forgive me Uksara, I just found out that you're not Muslim (yet) and I just went off trying to show another Muslimah her wrong. And you are new here so let me say that I only "advise" the way I do because I care. Really...my harshness has no bad intent to it. Just the way I am. So let me try again... Your boyfreind is Muslim and his brother just died. May be he's realizing that death really is not up to him and that one day he will return to Allah (SWT). He'll need to explain why he did wrong knowing he did wrong. It probably is a realization, reality check factor for him right now. Give him time, God willing, he'll come around (whichever) if he loves you that much. When my sister died, I told everyone to leave me alone for YEARS because I really did want to be alone so don't take it personal. But I'm sure it won't take him that long to get back to you. Right now he probably does not want to distress his parents or family about why he has a non-Muslim girlfreind or girlfreind for that matter. So do leave him alone and soon enough, he'll let you know of things. Hope all goes well... So did I do good guys? See I'm getting there..... Ma-assalaamah.... |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| uksara |
| 08/25/04 at 11:44:54 |
| TRUSTWORTHY! Ur words wasnt "harsh", and you are totally right. Reading what you had written helpted me alot. For being non-muslim thats why I come to these sites to learn more about islaam and to get a better knowledge, your advice and all the other posts are just some help and advice ive got off other people on my journey to islaam. |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| uksara |
| 08/25/04 at 12:42:02 |
| Can someone write me a prayer or something I can say to help ease the pain of his family and also for him. |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| resistance4ever |
| 09/08/04 at 07:50:45 |
| [wlm] [slm] My wife is a revert/convert, would you like to get in touch with her? Maybe she'll be able to offer you some good advice? wasalaam |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| uksara |
| 09/08/04 at 13:30:33 |
| Yes i would like 2 speak to your wife resistance4ever ,thank you, if she is willing :) |
| Re: 1 of my boyfriends family has passed away,now |
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| resistance4ever |
| 09/10/04 at 16:10:52 |
| [slm] Sorry for the delay in replying. I'll speak to my wife and to another slightly older revert sister and see what advice they can offer and inshallah get you in touch with them. Until than sister, i advise you to be strong, to take everything in your stride and not to allow yourself to be overcome with worry and stress. Give your boyfriend time to come to terms with the loss in his family. At the moment he probably just wants to be around his family helping them cope with the loss off a close relative and so its understandable that he doesnt want to have much contact with his girlfriend as he knows its wrong for him to be dating and probably feels a lot of guilt over it also. But do not despair. If your both of a suitable marriage age, depending on the country in which you live, and your serious about each other, than i would suggest you two seriously consider marrying. All dating does is cause grief and heartache in the long run, and having been their, its not worth it in the long term as you regret it later on in life if you dont end up marrying the person. walaikumasalaam M |
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