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A sister's story...

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A sister's story...
Shahida
08/26/04 at 07:06:57
[slm]

I was really moved to read this story...so much is going on in this world, that I am oblivious to.

For all the unmarried people out there, especially the sisters, I am sure this sister's story can serve as an example to us.  May Allah make things easier for us to establish Halaal relationships and Muslim families, ameen.  And may Allah save us from every sort of fornication and guard our chastity. ameen.

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Gave him up for the sake of Allah

I was still young when I saw him for the first time.  I thought I had found "love at first sight", like they say in all the movies and books.  He was everything I had ever wanted in a man- tall, handsome, deep blue eyes- so unusual for a Muslim, I needed to know more about him.  When he spoke to me, I felt like I needed nothing else, I didnt need to eat or sleep, his voice, his eyes were enough for me...

He didnt live that far away, and we would meet on occasion.  Every occassion I convinced myself, that God had destined for us to meet, that definitley we were destined to be together forever.  He confused me sometimes, talking one minute about marriage, the next about moving to a far-away country.  He had dreams, I convinced myself, that was a good thing, wasn't it?  

I once discussed beauty with him, and he showed me a woman who looked a lot like me, and said, she is not what I consider beautiful.  But still he would hint at the possibility of us marrying.  I swear, if he had asked me to marry him that very day, I would have.  How in love I was...

Time went by, and I heard nothing from him.  There were days when I would come to my senses and decide, it was not meant to be.  Those were the days when I resloved never to contact him until he contacted me.  I had had enough.  As God would have it, it would not be long before he would send a message, or call me.  Another sign: we are destined to be together...

THere came an opportunity for me to visit his town.  My family knew that I was there to attend a convention, what they didn't know, was that I had called him, and we made an apppointment to meet.  A quiet coffee shop, in a rather deserted part of town.  Nobody who knew me would be there, a good thing.  I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not stop myself.  The desire to meet him was just too great.  Clad as a Muslima should be, I sat in the coffee shop, drinking off his words, drowning in his blue eyes...

Khalwa is haraam, the bell went off in my head.  I was suffering temporary deafness.  He invited me back to stay at his place, as it was a long trip back to my hotel.  I went with him without thinking.  We spent a lovely night chatting, learning about each other.  We cooked a meal together, and he laughed at how I held a knife...when time for prayer came, we prayed together.  It was just as I had imagined life with him to be...

He shared a lot about his past, the discos, the alcohol, the girls...but he was passed that now, and I chose to believe that since he had repented, God had forgiven him, and I should thus not judge his youthful errors...

I ended up staying for 2 days, and missing most of the conference.  In those days, many times I would ask Allah to save me from doing anything He did not approve of, forgetting that I was already indulging in something that would not please Him at all.  We never did anything except talk, it was alright then, right? Who knew when I would get the chance to see him again? And i needed to let him see me, as a religous girl, who would make a perfect wife.  How religious was I, in hijaab, alone with a strange man in his house?  We went for walks in the fresh winter air.  He remarked, that if he had to push me off the cliff nearby, nobody would know. That scared me.  But only for a second, because just as he said it, he gazed at me with those blue eyes, and I felt totally at ease again...

The time came for me to go home.  I realised that i had not shared that much about myself with him.  Perhaps the scarf on my head had sheltered my every thought from being liberated.  I was angry, so much time wasted.  I was just a shy girl, so misunderstood.  How had the last few days helped to convince him that I am "The One" for him?  I cried all the way home.  

He called to find out how I was.  In the first few months, he would contact me regularly.  Then he became quiet again, so i would call him, or send him sms's or emails.  i refused to have him forget about me.  All the while praying that God would protect him, and his faith, so that when we met again, we would be able to make things lawful. I never wanted to be faced with the temptation of being alone with him again...afraid, that I would succumb to that temptation without a second's hesitation...those blue eyes were enough to do that to me...

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Part 2 coming soon
Re: A sister's story...
buL-buL
08/26/04 at 20:22:44
[slm]
Where's part II? Don't keep us in suspense.  :)

[wlm]
Re: A sister's story...
Kathy
08/26/04 at 22:34:25
[slm]

A million times i have seen heard or lived this stroy... it better end in reality...
8)I will be watching this post....
Re: A sister's story...
FajR
08/27/04 at 00:19:59
Coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :'(


ok ok cmon Sis Shahida...post it plz!!!  :(
Re: A sister's story...
Shahida
08/27/04 at 06:07:31
[slm]

I AM SO SORRY!!!  :( I did not have time to post it yesterday, thinking it would still be there today, but the thing is, I deleted it, and could not recover it...all by accident.  Feel so stooopid, sub7anAllah.

Anyway, the second part, was better than the first (better written that is...not so soap-opera style like the first).  I guess I should try and paraphrase what she wrote:

She ended up getting involved with the MSA at her uni.  She started attending Halqas, reading more Quraan, getting more "Islamic" on the inside, the kind of muslima ppl would think she was, looking at her outside.

So she got up one morning for Tahajjud, and decided to completely give him up.  She told Allah, that she was giving him up for His swt sake.  It was a tough thing to do, she had been obsessed for several years, and it is not easy to forget someone who you have been thinking about constantly for years and years.  But there are conditions attached to Tawbah, sincere tawbah:  one is that you have to sincerely repent, another is that you must never return to the sin again.  She *knew* she repented, and regretted it, but prayed with all her strength to Allah to never have to return to it.

He didn't contact her.  She didn't contact him.  After a while it became ok.  ([i]An aside: I know how it feels when Allah makes something "ok", and this is the sense I got when I read her words...sorry I cant say it quite as well[/i]).

She got the opportunity to go for Umrah, and by the time she came back, she describes herself as having really started a new life.  Never totally forgotten about him, but there were other things that were more important.

After about 2 years since their last meeting, she got the opportunity to go back to his city.  This time she made no attempt to meet/see him. It was an Islamic conference this time, and she was looking forward to it.    

She enjoyed herself immensely, learnt so much, alhamdulillah.  On the last day, she met a sister who had the cutest little baby, named Qais.  He had strong blue eyes.  A sudden memory jolted into her head.  She said "mashaAllah", smiled, and forgot.

This was her last year at uni, and everyone wanted to know when she was gonna get married.  Umm Qais, after only knowing her for a few hours, said she knew a brother who would be perfect for her.  He was a friend of her husband's.  Details were exchanged and a week later, the 2 families met at a masjid in the town roughly half way between the 2 cities.

I know what you guys are thinking, but no, no, it was not the blue-eyed bro!!!  But this guy, mashaAllah, had such a look about him, such peacefullness in his face, that she wanted to take things further with him.

He too, was impressed with her, so were both families with each other.

They got married about 4 months later, mashaAllah.  She was so happy:)  She also knew in her heart of hearts, that she would not have deserved such a pious husband just a few years ago.  He would not even have given her a second look!  

They moved into a little apartment in her husband's city.  They were very happy.  One day, they went for a walk in the cool winter air, along the same path that she had tread so many years before, and it was like all the new happy memories with her husband were washing away the bad memories of her past life.  They stopped at a coffee shop.  As she sat down, she recognised the people at the table across from theirs.  Praying with all her heart that he would not know her, she tried hiding behind the menu.  But menus in coffee shops are not that big, and eventually he saw her.  Instant recognition.  This scene had played in her mind over and over again over the last months.  She thought she would want to dig a hole and jump into it.  But she felt nothing, but a little discomfort in her tummy.  Just as instantly, he saw the gold band on her finger, and came to yet another recognition...she was married, she had moved on.

They enjoyed their coffee, and she happened to notice the girl he was with was not wearing a ring.  "Probably another Sameerah, may Allah guide her as He swt has guided me! Ameen!"

And from then on, she never worried about him again.  When she looked at Qais, he would not even enter her mind.  And every night when she went to sleep, and every morning when she awoke, she remembered to thank Allah for all he has given her, for the pious husband, who was truly remarkable.  She always knew, things could have been so different, so much worse.
__________________________________________________________________
Alhamdulillah.

Thats the end. Kinda, in my own words.  If the sister who sent me the email still has hers, I can post the original story, inshaAllah.

I think she was very lucky, and indeed blessed, and yes, so true, it WOULD have ended badly, had she taking the other route.:(

Sorry again
Salam
Shahida
Re: A sister's story...
Barr
08/27/04 at 11:12:09
[wlm]

Alhamdulillah :) I like this story - the plot is good and not an airy fairy love story. Plus its got so many lessons, and best of all - this kind of story does happen in reality, mashaAllah.

I'd really hate to see, if she did end up with that blue eyed bloke.

[quote]On the last day, she met a sister who had the cutest little baby, named Qais.  He had strong blue eyes.  A sudden memory jolted into her head.  She said "mashaAllah", smiled, and forgot. [/quote]

Sometimes, Allah tests us for us to know within ourselves with certainty how we have truly developed inside.

Allahua'lam :)

08/27/04 at 11:13:12
Barr
Re: A sister's story...
nida
08/28/04 at 01:10:15
[wlm]
Mashallah, awesome story sister Shahida. It is one that we all can learn a lesson from. I am gonna save it. :)
Jazakallah khair for sharing it with us.
Re: A sister's story...
Halima
08/29/04 at 09:36:15
Shukran Sis Shahida for sharing and posting it.  Lessons in life are continuous.

Halima
Re: A sister's story...
FajR
08/31/04 at 00:21:55
JazakAllah sister for paraphrasing....

sigh, it was indeed a good read, i would never want to be in that coffee shop situation ever....things we do always have consequences, and it really worked out for her in this story. May Allah swt always guide us, Ameen.


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