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| Feeling depressed about school & purpose? |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/31/04 at 15:19:55 |
| Asalaamu alaykum. I'm having a really tough time at uni. I should have graduated a year ago but a lot of things set me back. Lack of motivation, endlessly withdrawing from classes i thought i was too dumb for, taking a semester off from school, going part time. So now school starts in a week and i'm having my doubts about going back. Maybe i should drop out of school. I just don't think school is for me. But then at the same time i can't see myself doing anything fulfilling without a degree. I wanted to major in secondary education and global studies (only because i'm not good in any other subjects like the sciences and math) so i can teach at islamic shool and help muslims establish credited schools here. That was my goal, to do something for Allah. But I don't like my major. I like the education part but i don't like the history aspect. How can i teach a subject if i don't even like it myself? I chose this b/c i'm not good at the other subjects. I'm not good at anything. Also sometimes i think what's the point of going to school when i'll be stuck home raising kids. I dont plan on working then. Plus women don't have to work. So why am i putting myself throug all this? I don't even know why i'm typing this anymore. I just feel really depressed. All my friends already graduated and here i am, still stuggling to get a bachelors. Another question: what other fields are there, except education, for muslim women where they can do something purposeful towards their communities? what can I do with sociology or psychology? |
| Re: Feeling depressed about school & purpose? |
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| jannah |
| 09/01/04 at 01:49:43 |
| [wlm] well sis, i just want to tell you that sometimes we might not like something but we get through it to get to a greater goal. so if you have to take some history classes in order to get your degree inshaAllah motivate yourself with thoughts of being a great teacher one day and helping the next generation. you can then look back and think about how horrible those classes were ;) you can then use your experience to make global studies and history a MUCH better and fun experience for your students! sometimes having to 'study' something in a certain way.. like taking a class in it really kills the liking of a subject..but learning about it on ur own and focusing about parts relevant to you... like islamic history etc make it better. about 'being stuck at home raising kids'... i think that raising kids is the most important thing you can do, and don't you think your kids would want an educated mother? a mother that could help them with their homework and help teach them various subjects... university isn't just learning rote facts.. it really helps open people's minds and let's them see and understand whole other worlds around them... you won't just be bathing, feeding and cleaning, you are the whole center of learning for your children. and your statement "Plus women don't have to work."... well wow.. let me just say that doesn't mean they should remain ignorant and uneducated!! and become relegated to cooking and cleaning!!! don't you want more for yourself than that? there's a million things you could do as a person to help the muslim community and the society around you, being married and with kids, and especially for your children! and learning in a formal evironment and getting a degree can help you do that better sometimes. (and on this topic i could write pages and pages of posts.. so moving on) lastly if you just can't find motivation in anything at all, its probably time to re-evaluate what you're doing, why you're doing it and where you're going and change to something you want to do instead. |
| Re: Feeling depressed about school & purpose? |
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| timbuktu |
| 09/01/04 at 08:27:43 |
| [slm] When Allah (swt) put you in this world, He did so with a purpose. So, try to get out of this "I am not good at anything". Even when one is not good in formal studies, it does not mean one is useless. and even if you are not interested in a subject, it does not mean it won't come is useful. Knowledge is never useless, but of course you could be the practical kind, or the emotional, caring kind. and one has to make sacrifices if one is to realise one's potential. and what is this for women not having to work? You never know what will happen next, so you should be prepared for eventualities. Just don't be depressed. Believe in whatever is happening is from Allah and is for your own good, and try to put your heart in something. maybe cooking, sewing, etc. You can't go through life doing nothing. Even if yoiu found a husband who surrounded you with servants, and you didn't even have to get up to get a drink of water, you wold grow so fat that the husband will find another wife. ;) So take interest. learn, enjoy, and don't worry about the future. above all, work! |
| Re: Feeling depressed about school & purpose? |
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| al-ajnabia |
| 09/01/04 at 23:08:53 |
| [slm] oh yeh, but what if she found a husband who surrounded her with servants so she would stop walking her bu ah a backside off, cause he got tired of looking for the right fat chick and decided to grow one of his own? Well then you will need something to think about while sitting there growing. ok sorry, mid way through week one of my last year of my MA. with only one year to go it is best to chug on through it, and maybe inshallah it will become more interesting or it wont, but you will be a bored person with a degree if you stick it out, other wise you will just be a bored drop out. But ive definately been there, I keep thinking that I am going through all of this and at the end of it I may not teach one year, or allahu alim I might found a school, who the heck can see the future but allah anyway, heck I may even get a phd though at this point Id rather get a new hole in my head (research is over rated anyway) but outlooks change over time and a degree in the hole is something to fall back on no matter where you find your head is at in the future. |
| Re: Feeling depressed about school & purpose? |
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| se7en |
| 09/03/04 at 13:09:14 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, sis, are you paying for your college education? my parents paid for my college education, and I think that because of that I sometimes did not appreciate how fortunate I was to be able to attend school. some of my friends were working, doing work-study, *and* studying, AND doing well in school, because they had scholarships to keep up. getting a degree was a goal that they had, and they worked for it, and they worked hard. I was really listless, restless in college for the first two years.. I kind of knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn't focused or disciplined at all. something happened that really affected me -- I had a conversation with one of my friends, one of my very very focused and disciplined friends, who has always dreamed of attending law school and doing awesome things for the ummah. she just happened to mention that in the summer between her senior year in highschool and her first year in college she worked full time to save the amount of money needed to attend LSAT classes (the exam you take to get into law school). she was eighteen, and she was so focused, she had planned for a particular thing that she knew was four years away! she exchanged an entire summer for the opportunity to perfect her score on the LSATs and guarantee a place in an excellent law school. because she wanted to dedicate herself to the cause of Muslims and she wanted to do it with ihsaan. And what did I do in the summer between my senior year in highschool and first year in college? Nothing! I wasn't thinking about four years ahead, truthfully, I wasn't really thinking about four months ahead. subhan'Allah, I was just blown away by her vision and her passion. this was someone who knew what she wanted, and she was going to work for it whole-heartedly. I wanted to find something that ignited a similar passion inside of me.. that I could work for whole-heartedly.. dream about for years before hand.. and when I finally accomplished it, it would be something I knew I did with ihsaan. you too have to find that goal and that dream. you should aim high. you are not purposeless. you've been granted so much -- a family, health, youth, wealth, opportunity -- and you have been placed on earth with unique and particular skills, strengths, and passions, and you have things you can contribute to this ummah and this world. You just have to look inwards and discover what they are. it's not true that you are not good at anything.. I would say that could even be shaytan, whispering in your ear. "you're not good at anything. do nothing with your life. just be lazy." it's not true, and it's a means by which you could waste your life. don't let yourself be setup that way. don't let your life slip away from you. think about the end of your days -- if Allah permits you to live until old age, on your death bed -- what do you want to look back and see that you have accomplished? think about it. Aim high, and insha'Allah, Allah will grant you taufeeq. may Allah instill in you passion for the deen and focus, and purpose. wasalaamu alaykum, se7en :) |
| 09/03/04 at 13:23:13 |
| se7en |
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