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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Letter to the Teacher |
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| Kathy |
| 09/07/04 at 13:06:25 |
| [slm] School begins tomorrow in my neck of the woods. Here is the letter I send to the teacher. Feel free to use it for your kiddies. Also... if you have any comments or additions, let me know! Dear Mr. ...., Here is a guide to Ali’s religiously - mandated practices as a Muslim. I have covered a little of each area to help you understand my son more. This is not an official guide for all Muslims. Some families have stricter guidelines, while others are more lenient. It is a letter I have sent out to each teacher each year. Please feel free to call me with any questions. Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag: Islam discourages acts of reverence to anyone or anything but God. Therefore, my son does not pledge allegiance to a flag. This, however, should not be taken as a sign of disrespect to the symbol of our nation. He will not participate by saying the words, but he can stand in respect of his country. Holidays: He may be exposed to the holidays the school celebrates, but he is not allowed to celebrate them. These include: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Valentines Day, St. Patrick Day, Easter. Please contact me regarding any celebrations so that we can offer a suitable alternative for him. Dietary requirements: No pork or pork by products. He is very sensitive about this at lunch time. Below I have listed some examples: Some objectionable food items include: bacon, pepperoni, sausage, and hot dogs containing pork. No animal shortening- in some breads, cookies, cakes, donuts...vegetable shortening is acceptable. No gelatin- in Jell-O, candies, marshmallows. No lard- in any product. Music: Ali is not allowed to sing holiday songs. When Christmas time is approaching, I will pull him from music class. Also if there is any involvement with instruments, he can only use drums. Art: Muslims are not allowed to draw or make images. You will see him placing an “X” over the picture of animals and people, if he is required to draw them for educational purposes. This is part of his Islamic teachings. He is not allowed to make life like objects. Gender Relations: Muslim men and women observe personal modesty. Ali may be reluctant to touch girls, for example in a duck, duck goose type game. He will be reluctant to shake a woman’s hand, or touch a girl. Skullcap: Muslim men often wear a small head covering, called a kufi. He sometimes wears one. Vocabulary: Allah- You will probably hear him saying this. It is Arabic for God. Bismillah - He will say this before eating. It means "in the name of God" (it attributes all thanks to God for his food) Humdulillah- Praise be to God- He will say this when he sneezes, and at other times. Fasting: This is the Islamic month of Ramadan. Observing the Ramadan fast means refraining from eating and drinking from the break of dawn to sunset. This will begin around the 16th of October. Fasting is not required until children reach puberty. Still, he may want to experiment with fasting. This will help him learn self-restraint and it is a time for him to empathize and reflect on those less fortunate than him and appreciate what one has. We do not expect him to fast but will support him if he chooses to. Daily Prayer: Muslims pray at various times of the day. They are obligatory prayers which need to be completed by certain times. Ali will need to pray around noon, when the daylight-saving time changes. Dr. Green has previously given the Muslim children a spot on the back stage. I will contact you as the time approaches. Friday Prayer: Friday is the day for congregational prayer, called Jumm’ah. The prayer begins at 1:00 and ends around 1:45 at the masjid. I pick up Ali about 12:45. Generally the other Muslim Kids in the class come with me. Their parents will send you a note. Please call me so that we can make up the work he will miss every Friday afternoon. Muslim Holidays: The two major Muslim celebrations are called Eid. I will write you a note as the holidays approach. He will be taking off at least one day. Culturally, we usually take three days to celebrate. I will contact you to see if this is possible when the time is nearer. I do not expect that he should be given an absent mark on this day- because he will be ful-filling a religious obligation. I am available to come and teach the class about our holidays cultures and traditions. You may want to ask Ali’s previous teachers about the puppet show I have done for the kids. As the well publicized 9/11 anniversary approaches, if you need me, who am a practicing Muslim, I am available. Also if you need a volunteer/ help at any time- call me! Sincerely, Momma Mod |
| 09/07/04 at 13:07:22 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Zara |
| 09/25/04 at 09:01:14 |
| [wlm] Aww that was really well written. What are your thoughts on Muslims studying at segregated Islamic schools? [slm] Zara |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Kathy |
| 09/25/04 at 14:00:35 |
| [slm] I think it is wonderful as long as your word segregated means boys and girls. |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| lucid9 |
| 09/25/04 at 15:37:02 |
| [slm] Ummmmm....Mamma Mod...i am an idiot...but perhaps you are going a bit too far... Growing up a practising muslim is a pretty hard thing and if you place too many barriers between your son and the cultural norms of the day -- this may create a lot of problems. Some things are cut and dry (like eating pork), but others are completely subject to interpretation and context and it is perhaps best not to put restictions on your son with respect to the ambiguous stuff. For example (1) Everybody knows that that the the pledge of allegiance is not unconditional. The pledge is always predicated on the supposition that you pledge allegiance...as long as long your country doesn't do anything dasterly... Nobody would pledge allegiance, even the most blindly patriotic person, if it was a binding oath to be upheld in all circumstances. And if your son doesn't do the pledge -- it really creates a big barrier between him and other classmates, and in particular -- between him and the teacher. This is a really emotionally charged thing, and not just because of 9/11. Lots of people before 9/11 got in "trouble" for this (2) Art,...,drawing pictures? There is a lot of disagreement about this. The very act of drawing pictures is not a problem, as far as i understand. What is problematic to some people -- is the revering of such pictures. Recall Ayesha's pillow with an animal design. Restricting a kid from drawing is perhaps pretty harsh There are some other things...but i'll shut up for now... |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Asia |
| 09/25/04 at 18:46:37 |
| I actually thought that about the drawing bit too.. But I thought it best if I lay low .. especially since I draw comics for children. *shrugs* I really don't know .. |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Caraj |
| 09/25/04 at 22:18:12 |
| Kathy I give you a 200% thumbs up and a high five to boot this letter is wonderful and I hope it helps other Muslim families. The way you spoke in it is not only to the point but is educating to say the least. It is to the point, explains things so Ali doesn't have to (so he is not put in an akward position in front of his peers which is so embarrassing for young kids) It educates the teacher. I remember in 3rd grade there was a girl in my class who was Jehovah Witness (we're talking nearly 33 to 35 yrs ago) and she stood up with the class but did not say the pledge no put her hand on her heart. Nor did she draw any Holiday pics, but just ones with a house or trees and such. I remember she was a wonderful gal and a wonderful student. But she was asked why she did such things (or rather did not do them) I do have some questions though and I'll post them in a different thread, in re skullcaps, drums and also the X thing. THUMBS UP, awsome job |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| eleanor |
| 09/26/04 at 07:32:51 |
| [slm] *sniff-sniff* /me smells a fiqhie type discussion coming up... We all know that Muslims have different levels of practising, and we all know that there are thousands of interpretations for the same hadith, fiqh etc etc This is how Kathy lives Islam and this is how Ali lives Islam. Let's leave it at that, eh? After all, Allah knows best and not us :) wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Kathy |
| 09/26/04 at 12:21:19 |
| [slm] Thank you for posting your concerns. Allahu allum, so far this teacher letter has been very successful and I have received letters of gratefulness from the teachers. Ele is right, everyone is at their own level of comfortableness. Ali is in a school that has had Muslims in it for many years. However, the first year he was there, it became apparent that their level of 'strictness' was different from ours. The first year, the teachers were shocked to see that I would not let him participate in Halloween parades and Christmas parties. The music teacher could not believe that Ali could not play the piano. The cafeteria was shocked that he could not have jello. Even the teacher said she had never thought about pledging to a flag verses a country. While many things we practice may seem cut and dry to us, they surely aren't to non Muslim folk who have never been exposed to any religion other than their own. It is true that it is hard for children to 'fit in.' Subhannah Allah I have seen another phenomona (sp?) happening. Perhaps it is because Ali is popular, or that kids are attracted to the adab.. he has no problems. Alhumdullillah. When it is time to pray the Muslim kids all get together, when there is a party, the Muslim kids delight in getting pulled out of school or all of them joining in the computer room. His friends show no sign of disrespect when he needs to perform his religious duties. Many of them have been very curious. Even tho they are in a public school, because of these areas, they are getting to know each other and hang out together. This year the Music teacher has brought in a teacher to teach the duff/deff. In art, when the kids had to make masks and statues, I got a call and Ali was able to do the same project with modifications. So Ali did not have to make a statue. I mean how could he, after reading all the prophet's stories? He would be in therapy for years! ;) As a revert, I know that Muslims do not fit into this society. We never will. We can co-inside, but never be one of them. This is a good lesson to learn early in life. You do have choices. You will be tempted. You need to learn to rise above it and make the right choice. You may fail... and guilt is a good thing to have. It raises consciousness. So many Muslim parents, all of a sudden, get strict once thier child hits puberty. Then our blessed religion becomes a religion of "NO" you can't do this. Instead as parents, we should teach our children what they can do and why a certain thing may be bad for them. It has taken several years for me to become a true Muslim... and yes I got a long way to go... So Insha Allah it will take my son many years too. But atleast in this delicate age it is not him who is saying no... but "my momma won't let me." Came in real handy last year when the "hot chick" asked him to the dance. Yes, I know, he can't use that line foreer...but it will help him, until he grows his own backbone. Last week I had a Sis stay with me, her main job this coming school year is to implement Taqwa and Ikhlas in her Muslim school. We discussed the various meanings of taqwa and fears children have. When we got home, she asked Ali 'what does you fear?' His answer was "Allah." 'What are you afraid of?' "nothing else" was his reply. May he have this strength and courage, as he grows in the real world, Insha Allah. |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| WhatDFish |
| 09/27/04 at 04:11:42 |
| mashaa'Allah Momma Mod, you give me strength you do what you have to do for His sake and do not let anyone detract you. and Ali's a fine young boy and what he said reminds me of this verse - It is only the Evil One that suggests to you the fear of his votaries: Be ye not afraid of them, but fear Me, if ye have Faith. translation of verse 175 of surah ale`imraan jazaakallah khayr |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Sara_R |
| 09/27/04 at 22:14:36 |
| I agree with Kathy in that often parents try to instill discipline at later ages. Some of these things if learned at an early age are far more easier to choose later on to resist. Like for instance.. a family I teach does not have candy in their house, they learned to not eat it. So the kids, even on their own at the age of 7-8 choose to limit themselves from the sweets. They learned the value of healthy eating and that wil lstay with them even when they encounter challenges to that.. And also they are more likely to feel more comfortable emotionally. Frankly the biggest thing for kids to resist the 'peer pressure' as they grow older is self-confidence and good self-esteem. Also, if the other kids see it at an early age, say he does not eat pork, they actually accept it more naturally. Kids accept things often easier then adults. They learn some kids don't eat pork.. some take Jewish holidays off.. Actually in many places the kids are WAY more savy then we were growing up. More international. Its the parents that have funky attitudes. It seems most of the education happens with the adults in the kids' lives.. :) I think its great you wrote the letter. Have to educate the educators. ;) |
| Re: Letter to the Teacher |
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| Khariya |
| 09/29/04 at 17:06:56 |
| [slm] Mashallah sister, I think your doing a wonderful job. I remember when I was in grade school my parents wrote a letter to my teachers about what ramadan was, and and I used to go to the library to read while everyone was eating lunch. At our school we used to have holidays parties instead of Christmas parties, so everyone could enjoy. I think it's really important to instill a love of Islam in your child when he/she is young, it's terrible seeing some kids who think that Islam is no fun cause they can't go to school dances, or hang out with the opposite sex etc. The real question is not whether Islam is fun or not, but what's your definition of fun. I hate dancing, I remember in 5th grade this christian girl and me were the only ones who didn't go to the monthly dances, I totally felt no regret because my parents never instilled the love of dancing in me so I could care less about it, even though most my friends were obsessed with it. |
| 09/29/04 at 17:09:09 |
| Khariya |
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