A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Trust Issues |
|---|
| Caraj |
| 09/08/04 at 23:35:05 |
| I have found myself very VERY untrusting of anyone anymore. In personal and business aspects of my life. One a scale of 1 to 10 I would put my mistrust level at a strong 7 maybe 8. How does one deal with this. I am doing some soul searching as to why I have become this bad at not trusting. I am fairly sure it is my last several months. Letting my guard down, a guard I kept up but allowing someone to enter that wall (guard) only to be failed again. (and again and again) Some distrust is healthy, I fear mine has gone into the slighly unhealthy (self preservation) mode. If anyone has experienced this and would be willing to share their views and how they dealt with it, I would very much appreciate it. |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| Stephanie |
| 09/09/04 at 20:37:37 |
| [slm] Hmm, this might be slightly cynical advice but find a few people you feel comfortable with and put all your trust in them. The rest...well... a lot of people will hurt you if they get the chance so why put yourself out there? I don't know your full situation but it sounds like you're going through some hard times right now. Make lots of dua and give yourself some time. Inshallah, soon your emotions will untangle themselves and you can get on to being your old, but wiser self again. [wlm] :-) |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| dina |
| 09/10/04 at 10:45:00 |
| [wlm] put your trust in allah first and foremost i think you have to give poeple a chance, i dont know if you mean, someone close to you has betrayed you or someone you met recently. or was it general in business life, everything is very competitive. i dont know what your work enviroment is like but normally people are very helpful, kind but i wouldnt discuss my problems with anyone at work becuase of the diverse nature of culture. i wouldnt say its really a trust issue anyway be patient, dont expect too much from others i pray to allah you meet someone trustworthy who can help you soon |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| humble_muslim |
| 09/10/04 at 14:52:31 |
| AA From an Islamic point of view with regards to business, there is nothing wrong with taking every precaution to make sure you don't get ripped off. With regards to personal stuff (at least with muslims), suspicion should be avoided. |
| NS |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| Asia |
| 09/15/04 at 07:18:45 |
uhm.. this is a slightly complicated Issue .. I, for example, would say that I seldom trust people apart from my mother.. this does not stop me being civil and caring about others but I would not disclose any of my matters to them. It is exactly like you mentioned with the guards .. I have a few so that if someone DOes manage to get past the first guard they won't pass the second or third etc ^^;;;; The way I see it .. there is no real obligation for trusting everyone.. So long as the person in question is a very close person whom you have to be able to trust and vice versa. A husband for example. and .. yeah, Like Dina put it .. Put your trust in Allah first and foremost ^^ |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| Halima |
| 09/15/04 at 10:17:38 |
| Well, I don't trust people either. Especially since everytime I do/did so, I am let down and disappointed. Apart from Allah (SWT), the only person I trust completely is myself. The minute I let my guard down, voila, I regret it. So, in dealing with people, I expect disappointment. This has come about because of so many hard lessons in life. I am not a pessimist as such, but very cautious. I will be the first to help a person in need but I will question a person who wants to help me. I need to know the motive, is it pity or is there a string attached to it. I have been accused of not seeing men as MEN but like fellow women (no offense intended from my part of course!). With male colleagues, I deal with them as COLLEAGUES, PERIOD! With male acquintances, just that. With male relatives, same thing. My antenna is always alert. I had no idea that people noticed this until I am told by several men. If I notice or realize anything beyond the reason of my dealing with any male, my defence mechanism goes into high gear without my even uttering a word. I guess it is my face and my posture that are dead give aways. On the business level, I am learning to take risks. I don't trust completely but sometimes give the benefit doubt expecting the worse of course. In simple chores, in asking for help. Somebody (a lady) I don't even know whom I met once looked at me and told me that I don't trust people. I was taken aback! I asked her why she said so. And she responded that it shows. From the way I hold myself and digest the people around me. PATHETIC, maybe, but in taking care of myself, I would continue doing so. Trust is a precious gift which once broken, is difficult to restore. And if repeatedly broken, it is devastating. May those who trust never see the pain it can cause once broken. May those of us who can transform themselves and learn to trust again be rewarded for the courage to do so. May those of us who choose not to trust be content with ourselves. Ameen. Halima |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| timbuktu |
| 09/15/04 at 13:07:43 |
| [slm] Trust! :) it is a sad and lonely life we lead if we do not trust any one except mothers. A lot of heartache and pain is caused by not trusting. people have stabbed me in the back, but i have learnt not to take it to heart. and there have been times when i have help my secrets to myself, not trusting anyone, and suffered the consequence. Yet, when I did share, there was immense help forthcoming. You could say this wouldn't have been the case if I had reevealed my problems earlier. The point is, how can one live suca lonely life? even if you are disappointed, you need some friends. man is a social animal. So, keep your secrets, but do make friends, and do not expect much (or even anything). Expectation should only be from Allah (swt). |
| Re: Trust Issues |
|---|
| Somaira |
| 09/16/04 at 19:58:48 |
| Assalamualaikum, inshaAllah I hope everyone is doing well.... :) Interesting topic... I second and third and fourth most of what has been said - Trust and have faith in Allah swt. Khalas. Others, hmm - well there's a poem by Shakespeare - I think the 7 stages of man is it? Something like that. In it there are lines to the effect of - "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances." -- (I'm sure i botched it up some) Anyways, always be there for others. Care for others. Help others. But do not depend on anyone else. Do not have expectations of others. It is when we begin to expect things from others that we are let down. People come and go. Allah swt does not. Have faith in and trust Allah swt. It is to he whom we should turn to for help, etc. take care :) [wlm] All |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |