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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Nikah Updates |
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| Zara |
| 09/10/04 at 14:10:20 |
| [slm] My parents won't let me get the nikah done ::) ...if they agree they want me to have the walimah etc in uk :( and wait like another year ( we have already been like informally engaged for like 3years) [wlm] >:( |
| 10/17/04 at 17:05:46 |
| Zara |
| Re: SHaadi/Wedding/Nikah |
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| Kathy |
| 09/11/04 at 16:16:45 |
| [slm] 1. Make sure they know who they are marrying. 2. Wali of Sis asks Bro what his Mahr is, Wali accepts for Sis. (after he gets her permission). Wali makes sure that Bro wants to marry this particular sis. Same for her. Wali makes sure she accepts the Bro for her hubby. 3. Make sure there are 2 witnesses. 4.Announce the marriage to the community Done Deal. ;-) :-) PS.. I hear also to offer something to eat like dates. ( ;)Check with your Imam) |
| 09/11/04 at 16:27:36 |
| Kathy |
| Re: SHaadi/Wedding/Nikah |
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| Zara |
| 09/12/04 at 08:43:42 |
| [wlm] What about timing of walimah? Does it have to be next day? Or can it be a few days later? [slm] |
| Re: SHaadi/Wedding/Nikah |
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| Kathy |
| 09/12/04 at 22:00:45 |
| [wlm] To the best of my knowledge there is no time /day period mentioned. Good sense would say to have it before she starts 'showing.' ;) :D |
| Re: SHaadi/Wedding/Nikah |
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| Zara |
| 09/13/04 at 04:42:51 |
| ;D We plan to have a January wedding insha'allah. I only get 2 weeks off work so I guess there won't be time to delay the walimah - it will have to be the day after the nikah. [slm] |
| Re: Nikah and 6mths delay |
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| resistance4ever |
| 09/15/04 at 18:52:18 |
| [slm] I dont think theirs any specific time period between the Nikkah and Walima. Depending on the situation, some people have the nikah and walima on the same day, some have it a day later, some a week later, some a few months later, it depends on your particular circumstance. Nikah and walima on the same day can be done if theirs guests coming from a long distance, who wont be able to make a journey for both, so to allow them to be at the nikah and walima, as a lot of relatives wanna be at both, it makes sense to have it on the same day. However if your studying/working away from home, than the walima can probably be delayed until you got a bit more free time as the walima is usually the more difficult and time consuming of the two to organise, and believe me, you DONT want to leave it completely to others to organise, you wanna have a say in it also, or else you will probably end up stressed out on the day when everything, the hall, layout etc turns out to be the opposite of what you expected. When i got married recently my Nikkah was a week before the walimah. The Nikkah went fine, a few guests at home, and it was sorted. But the walimah! even on the day of the walimah, whilst everyone else was asleep, i had to sneak out the house about 5.30 in the morning to go to Asda/Walmart to buy special lithuim batteries for the camera's, and had to go to the hall on my own to put a couple of signs up that some kids had made for the entrances as i'd totally forgot! The walimah's organisation is a nightmare! so you should have a bit of a delay. Believe me, it will make life a lot easier! |
| Re: Nikah and 6mths delay |
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| Zara |
| 09/19/04 at 16:03:41 |
| :( subhan'allah. that is the major problem. no nikah, father is not budging on giving permission for a january nikah, his sisde have began preparations for nikah....father is still thinking - and even when nikah is done I still have to wait like another 3-6 mths before we do the walimah.... the waiting period is way to long. the no contact clause is even tougher. :( make some dua for me please. jazahkum allah khairun [slm] |
| Re: No Nikah and nearly 3+yrs of delaying |
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| dina |
| 09/24/04 at 03:41:52 |
| [slm] i dont understand why the walima is going to be delayed, i thought walima was the grooms side of wedding celebration and nikah the brides side of celebration i guess you could pressure on the groom to put pressure on his parents to fix a date at least if you can get the nikah done things should be easier and like seven said, you can enjoy each other company in halal way without having to live with each other just pray to Allah swt things will get easier plus ramadan is comeing a good time to supplicate while fasting [wlm] |
| Re: No Nikah and nearly 3+yrs of delaying |
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| Zara |
| 09/24/04 at 17:54:26 |
| [wlm] :( What can I say ??? My parents want me to stay engaged until 'he' comes to uk after we apply for a visa. I'm looking at March/April 2005. They have totally refused to change their mind, despite pressure from 'his' family and my opinion does not seem to count. I have to accept the decision whether I like it or not. Make dua 4 me. [wlm] :'( |
| 09/24/04 at 18:03:39 |
| Zara |
| Re: Nikah Updates |
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| Mona |
| 10/19/04 at 15:12:11 |
| [slm] Zara, you should know that nikah without the approval of a wali is highly discouraged. I know about the view of the Hanafi madhab on this, but you have to consider that this was ijtihad on his part before he learnt about the hadith of the prophet [saw] about this issue. So, I realize we are not to delve on fiqh issues on this board, but I would just want to give you sincere advice. In Islam, wilaya (don't know the english word) of your father is not one that would entitle him force you to accept or reject a certain marriage. Instead, it is one that would ensure that your Islamic rights are being met. So, if a good muslim man proposes and asks your hand in marriage and you agree, your wali should also agree to this marriage. If he disagrees for non-islaimic reasons like race, money, family status, and you see otherwise, then you have the right to go to an imam or a qadi (if you live in a muslim country) and he will become your wali. From what I understand, your situation is different. Your father, it seems, does not oppose the marriage per se. He just wants the nikah to be performed when your fiance arrives to the place where you live. For me, this makes sense. In this day and age, so many things can go wrong and having the groom clear his visa situation makes things easy. Patience is a virtue sister. March/April 2005 is like 6-7 months away. Start preparing for the wedding, your dress, the invitation cards, etc, it will at least take that long to get things done. Just be patient and insha'Allah things will be done in their time. As long as your father does not oppose the marriage, then try to be more mature about things and accept the life is not easy sometimes. You and your finance will have a long life ahead of you after marriage and then you will wonder why you didn't just chill out when you were single :D Take care and make lotsa dua. Insha'Allah things will fall into place. wassalam Mona |
| 10/19/04 at 15:12:53 |
| Mona |
| Re: Nikah Updates |
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| Zara |
| 10/21/04 at 05:44:44 |
| [slm] ;D You are so right. I am definitely chilling :D and I have dismissed the idea of marriage before he gets his visa. Alhumdulillah, I have much to appreciate in my single life before the responsibility of marriage. Jazahkallah khair for the advice. [wlm] Zara |
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