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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Hadith about rights of husbands? |
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| Anonymous |
| 10/26/04 at 00:35:42 |
| Salamu Aleykum! A few days ago when surfing through the net, I found the following Hadith (?) of which I am not sure how to take it as it felt very awkward to me as a woman (converted) coming from very different backgrounds, where non-muslims would say reading this: yeah - here is what confirms all our prejudices towards Islam and where this religion places the women. "Oh women folk, if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband´s feet with her face." (Aisha r.a.a.) Of course, men have other resources than women, yet, to my experience in the past, I earned our living, payed for the car, took care of insurances, payed the rent for the flat, etc., all that what normally is a husband´s duty according to Islamic rules... (Yet, I had no problem handling all this, since we need to help each other.) I would like to know what you think about this, how you would interpret that and how you would argue, if any non-Muslim would try to discuss this with you? May I be forgiven, if my questioning is unjust towards Allah (t). Wa Aleykum Salam. RAMADAN MUBARAK TO YOU ALL OUT THERE, INSHA ALLAH! |
| Re: Hadith about rights of husbands? |
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| jannah |
| 10/26/04 at 00:51:48 |
| [wlm] You know... I can only find that hadith on anti Islam sites on the internet and in one book that I really dislike and it's attributed to not one of the known Saheeh books.. so I'd have to question first, whether it is an authentic. And the interesting thing is that it doesn't say the prophet [saw] said it, it says Aisha (ra) said it and we know who she was married to!! Secondly like all things in Islam you cannot take one text and make a judgement about it. Seriously from this hadith what exactly can you conclude?? The anti-islam person concludes that islam subjugates women and gives them no right and they are worthless... right... and this is completely AGAINST all of what Islam teaches.. so take the hadith for what it is on the surface.. that women should respect their husbands... there are also tons of hadith that talk about how men should treat their wives.. thirdly, if any nonMuslims asks you about it, just tell them that you cannot judge Islam from one shady text and teach them about what Islam says about the high position of women. in fact tell them to go to jannah.org/sisters and read some articles and tell them about all the Muslim women in history that were scholars and transmittors and benefactors and rulers even inshaAllah i was thinking our next forum could be on famous women in islam etc until the hajj forum... |
| Re: Hadith about rights of husbands? |
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| se7en |
| 10/26/04 at 10:25:45 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, Hope you're doing well sis anonymous :) Hmm.. there *are* authentic texts that give serious props to the husband. That doesn't mean, though, that the status of women is somehow lowered because of that. An example: Mothers are given such a revered and honored position in Islam. We know that we should honor, respect, and show kindness and mercy to them to a degree that is not due to anyone else, not even to one's father. Does this somehow demean the status of children? Or the status of the father? Or take away their rights? No. It's just something special, that Allah, in His wisdom, has granted mothers. And we see this with other types of people as well -- students and people of knowledge, the ameer/ameera in a shura, those who struggle for the sake of Allah, etc. The things to keep in mind are: 1. It is not a *biological* superiority, but something Allah in His infinite wisdom has written for a person. With any type of additional "status" comes additional responsibility; as we know from the hadeeth "every shephard is responsible for his flock." 2. We shouldn't use these types of texts as ammunition against other people. I know one too many mom's who are like, "you better listen to me! paradise lies under my feet!!" :) and I'm sure there are husbands that do the same. This is misusing the texts.. that is not what they are for. We should read the texts that deal with the rights we *owe* others, not the ones that talk about what is owed to us. Sh. Muhammad al-Shareef mentions this exact principle in his "How to be an Outstanding Husband/Wife" set, and cites this as a source of a lot of disputation in marriages -- both parties are concerned about what the *other* should be doing, and neither is concerned about what *they themselves* should be doing. It's a point to consider. Is that how we are reading the texts? 3. Striving to understand these texts and the wisdom behind them, even if they sometimes go against our own feelings, is a challenge, but that challenge is what makes us Muslim. If we were able to whole heartedly and happily accept and follow every ayah in the Quran, and every tradition of our beloved Prophet, salAllahu alayhi wasalam, we would already be at a state of perfection, and wouldn't need to struggle any more. (that would be pretty awesome :)) but we're human beings :) Just remember that Islam is not a state of being; it's a state of becoming. And it's perfectly okay to be in this type of struggle. What a Muslim *does not* do, however, (or should not do) is dismiss or reject authentic texts they dislike. Doing that is basically saying: "*I* know better than Allah" -- which is obviously a foolhardy position to take, when my way of thinking is forged by my socioeconomic status, my age, my gender, the generation in which I live, my education, my upbringing, etc etc and also by the simple limitations of the human intellect. And we know that Allah is far above these things, and is not limited in His knowledge by time, place, or imperfection. 4. I remember Sr. Nazia said something really interesting on the board before. She was like, imagine taking a book, that's some 200-300 pages.. and flipping towards the middle of the book, and *ripping out* one page. Then imagine someone trying to understand the whole book from that one page. It won't work.. you need to look at the whole book to get a complete understanding of it. It's that same way with Islam -- like jannah said, we need to look at the whole of it, it's principles and guidelines, in order to understand specific texts in the proper way and in the proper context. 5. There's no need for us to take an apologetic approach to what Islam teaches. Doing this has gone to such an extreme that people have just deleted/rejected texts that don't fit into the politically correct norms of the day. We should seek to understand Islam properly and fully, and explain it in the best, most wise, and most beautiful way. And we know Islam is a deen founded on the principles of justice, mercy, and equity of people before God, and that it comes from a divine source. There is nothing for us to hide and there is no hadeeth of Rasulullah, salAllahu alayhi wasalam, to be ashamed of. just some food for thought, Allahu a'lam.. wasalaamu alaykum, 7 |
| 10/26/04 at 11:00:41 |
| se7en |
| Re: Hadith about rights of husbands? |
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| humble_muslim |
| 11/03/04 at 09:59:47 |
| AA Mashallah Se7en, very well put. Do you have a link to the set from Muhammed Al Shareef you mentioned? The little I've read from him about marriage I've liked very much, because he says things other than "be a good muslim and the rest will follow", and gives very pratical advice (like go and buy yourself some designer pajamas, which I actually went out adn did!). |
| NS |
| Re: Hadith about rights of husbands? |
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| Bangachi |
| 11/03/04 at 10:26:10 |
| Dear Sister, I am no scholar on the Koran, However,I do know that sometimes the message isn't exaclty how it might appear. The family unit in Islam is fundamental. I am also a convert to Islam because of the unique power and role in this Universe Allah has bestowed among us female servants of Allah. This hadith makes sense to me because our husbands are to be cherished and often we lose them due to wars or pre-mature death. Generaly in those days the husband had a duty to earn money for his family,be the protector, and was always at risk..tribal wars and the like. In modern day times Islamic women are wailing every day for the loss of their husbands...due to war and the like. Imagine the man love gone from your life with a family to support on your own. Furthermore, the message sent to Muhammad PBUH was for men to cherish their wife treat her fairly and with kindness and not engage in animal husbandry. His message came at a time when pre-Islamic culture abused women mercilessly. Islamic country's are light years ahead of us on womens rights in many instances. They have had Presidents, Prime Ministers..but even these women had a duty to their husband in the above mentioned Hadith. Remember womens rights issues are a worlwide issue. We are beaten, raped, and murdered in record numbers in the United States. Islam does not accept or condone this treatment of women. |
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