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| Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 10/31/04 at 00:34:18 |
| Dawn Magazine 28 December 1997 Sunday 27 Shaban 1418 Is there any hope for women in Pakistan? By Tabinda Aufaz Four years ago when I had newly arrived in Pakistan to join a local medical college, I used to shun the general "chicken" attitude of my female friends who would want me to tag along even if they had to go post a letter. They constantly seemed to need some sort of company for a sense of security. For a girl who had lived in China all her life, this attitude struck me as extremely odd. I felt as if my friends had evolved into frail and non confident creatures who were afraid to take a step on their own. Once I chided a friend for constantly covering her head in public while not doing so in front of our male college pals. Today I feel sorry for having called her a hypocrite because now I realize that her actions were just a means of protecting herself and of providing a sense of security. She was forced into doing something she did not believe in by the rude gazes of men. She did not cover her head for religious reasons but to save herself from rude remarks from strangers who felt the need to "Islamize" her. After four years of living in Karachi I have personally experienced the forces that compel women to learn to adjust and submit to the demands of a society that is too intolerant to accept people who are different and too sex-starved to view women as simple human beings. Even in cosmopolitan Karachi, girls fear to move about on their own. Simple things like going to college or for shopping become great feats like going to the battlefield equipped with armour and shield. Women rely on male relatives for daily chores like buying groceries from across the road or fetching a tape from a neighbourhood video shop. Going jogging or riding a bicycle for one's daily exercise is totally unheard of. Most college girls have to face a series of physical and verbal abuse every single day on their way to and from their institutions. The rowdy attitude of the bus conductors, the lustful ogling of the passengers and the frequent pushing and shoving end up instilling a fear of going to college. Harassment at workplace is a more frightful story. The flirtatious attitude of male colleagues, frequent invitations to "lunches" and unwelcome interferences in their jobs terminate with women either hating their work or transforming into rude, cold and stone-face creatures minus all her sense of feminity. Some more unfortunate ones find themselves complying with the demands of their colleagues, flirting in return and degrading themselves in their own eyes. On the top of these heart-sinking realities the current wave of the 'madressah culture' has totally eliminated any chances of improvement of the prevailing conditions. The motto of "Jehad for men and Purdah for women" imported from the neighbouring country of Afghanistan, is quickly becoming popular and among a particular segment of the younger generation that is under the influence of these institutions. This reminds me of a few incidents which I am compelled to narrate. Last year, my mother was admitted in Liaquat Medical Hospital for a neurosurgery. In the same ward a very renowned religious scholar was also admitted. Religious enthusiasts from all over the city poured in daily to visit him. One day as I was taking my mother for a walk on her wheelchair with a girl friend of mine, a young bearded turbaned young man clad in a shalwar that hung above his ankles came up to me and said. "Dupatta theek se pehno" (wear your dupatta properly). The dupatta must have slipped off my shoulders as I was trying to manoeuvre the wheelchair on a slope. The remark or rather the command infuriated me for I had still not acquired the patience to ignore such intrusions. I went after the young man and gave him a piece of my mind but my heart did not stop seething for another week. Recently, as I was returning from my clinical postings with a couple of my friends a passerby called out to us, "Dupatta sar par lo. Aise buri lagti ho" (Wear your dupatta on your head. You look indecent this way). My friend stopped and turned around to give him a fiery look, but I, by then had become so accustomed and immune to these unwelcome remarks that I did not even bother looking back. Another friend in Islamabad was not so lucky for she became a victim of physical assault. One day as she stood in the vegetable market with her mother, she was truck on her head with a stick Saudi-style, but harder) by a religious fanatic. She fainted on the spot. The man walked away saying, "Ab agli baar chaddar pehan kar nikle gi" (Next time she will wear a chaddar before leaving home). Ask any girl next door and she will have an unpleasant experience to recount. These so-called messengers and uplifters of Islam have forgotten the basic principals of tolerance and acceptance endorsed by the prophet. All their efforts seem to focus around the dress code of the people while the society is facing other grave problems. Intolerance towards women seems boundless. A woman is supposed to have a bad character even if she stays out late for work, but a man is forgiven even if he fritters away the whole night. Recently, I had a conversation with an emancipated male friend of mine. He marvelled at the Pakistani women for having the guts to work and study despite facing unpleasant situations every other day. He said that before listening to the tales of his female friends he could not even have imagined the torture a girl has to go through to do simple things in life. The fear of making any gestures that could be interpreted as provocative, the fear of smiling unconsciously in a bus at remembering a joke, the fear of having any eye contact with parser-boys on the street - these are the fears which the carefree minds of guys/men shall never experience. The precautions a girl has to take to dress modestly in order to hide her natural body movements, the efforts to fight off an urge to scratch her back in public, the struggle to keep herself from singing to herself in the presence of the opposite sex are tiny little things which are not taken notice of by men who grow up taking this stuff for granted. Some men unashamedly call this their birthright, some choose to ignore the issue, while a few deny the presence of these problems. As I already said much has been written on these issues and much more will be churned out in the future, but all the written efforts are restricted to that segment of the educated population which takes pains to read newspapers and other literature accept the bitter realities of life. But who is going to convey this message to a common paanwallah or a bus conductor or a teenage boy who goes to a government school worse - to a madressah. While a lot of practical work has been done to educate their usual women of Pakistan to help them earn their livings (setting up of cottage industries) and become aware of their right, the working woman and students of the cities have been totally neglected. Cases that manage to create a stir are usually of rape, burns, physical assaults. The everyday incidents of physical and verbal harassment, like pinching in public places, following girls to their workplaces and homes, rude and vulgar remarks, are unfortunately not taken notice of. They are accepted as a part of life that girl has to face if she leaves her house. It's about time the NGOs diverted a part of their attention and efforts towards there problems. Of course bigger issues like rape, murder, Karo kari etc merit greater consideration. But at the same time we cannot accept the day to day emotional abuse of women as part of life. Today, when television is being used to propagate information about health, pollution and other environmental issues the behavioural trends regarding women also deserve some coverage and projection. Women-police too, should play an active role in this respect. Lady police officers should patrol around girls colleges. I am sure other women can come with even more suggestions and ideas if they are given a chance in workshops and seminars arranged by NGOs and welfare organizations. But all this is a farfetched fancy. The men don't seem to want to change. That friend of mine, who years ago had been struck by a stick on her head for not having worn a chaddar, has emigrated to America, and as far as I know, has no plans to return. If one is to believe Ardeshir Cowasjee, that if we start educating each and every member of our population from today onwards, our society still has no hope for the next 15 years, then our women should not even dream of a tolerant and unbiased society for another 30 years - for if it take 15 years to educate men, it will take double the time to make them emancipated enough to change their attitudes towards women!!! |
| Re: Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| Bangachi |
| 11/20/04 at 07:52:06 |
| I take great pride in pleasure in dressing halal. The Hijab is a sign of devotion, However , the torment you described IS NOT acceptable. Islamic countries have given women the freedom the United States has not. Women Prime Ministers and the like...forcing non-muslims to wear hijab is ,I feel inappropriate but when in Rome do as the Romans..in other words respect their culture. The media gives a bad name to our brothers...when in fact the majority are family orientated and loving husbands. Violence and abuse against women is a global issue. Women are brutally beaten, raped, and killed in the United States everday I heard every ten seconds in the USA a woman is abused. There is probably many more that go un-reported. Is there any hope for abused women worlwide that should be your question. There are evil men everywhere and if they area good muslim they know not to mistreat the female servants of Allah. |
| NS |
| Re: Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| Orange_Tree |
| 11/20/04 at 08:52:55 |
| [quote author=Bangachi link=board=sis;num=1099193658;start=0#1 date=11/20/04 at 07:52:06]There are evil men everywhere and if they area good muslim they know not to mistreat the female servants of Allah.[/quote] This is a bit of cop out don't you think? Yes, we all know what is right and wrong but there are muslims who commit crimes, abuse others, behave rudely and discourteously. Or is it just the 'good' ones who get classed as muslim? I haven't been to Pakistan so I haven't witnessed it first hand but there have been many reports and news stories similar to the one posted above. People need to take thier heads out of the sand and acknowledge bad behaviour when they see it. If it was men being harassed, abused and humiliated I'm sure there would be much more fuss. |
| NS |
| Re: Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| timbuktu |
| 11/20/04 at 10:40:14 |
| [slm] [quote author=Orange_Tree link=board=sis;num=1099193658;start=0#2 date=11/20/04 at 08:52:55] If it was men being harassed, abused and humiliated I'm sure there would be much more fuss. [/quote] since you haven't been to Pakistan, you don't know the conditions either for men or women, or their reporting! In the third world, the weak are abused, and it doesn't get reported or even acknowledged, period. :( sorry the above sounds rude, or without empathy for the females. That is not how I feel. But the fact is that society picks on the weak. |
| NS |
| 11/20/04 at 10:44:39 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| Sara_R |
| 11/21/04 at 12:33:36 |
| Every society,every culture has different problems. US, Pakistan, Peru, Uzbekistan.. all have different issues in gender relations. All things are a fine line between social order/cohesion and force. When I see people here dress in their flashy clothes and lots of flesh showing no one forced them. But society gave forth that is the norm. You just tend to do what the culture around you does. Having traveled a bit, even to Pakistan, women's experience will vary from region to region as well as family to family.When I read articles like that it annoys me because they don't interview or talk to the women who have very different experiences then a stereotype. Like my friend's family I stayed with in Pakistan. They were telling me at one point how his father was thinking about leaving his mom. His family asked what did she do wrong. The father said nothing (sort of wanted the newer car model). His family told him they would not accept him if he divorces his wife for she is their sisterfor no good reason. So they stood by her and not him. (They ended up staying married for 50-6o years so far).Ethics, morals vary from person to person. Violence is a concern for women all over the world. Women tend to be more vulnerable. That is why I teach self-defense. Self-defense gives women more security and options. In Pakistan I saw women cover, some did not. Actually a lot did not. After knowing elderly women who have been raped, looks/covering is NOT the sole determing factor. It may be one aspect, but crappy people who commit violence will do so on vulnerable people. |
| Re: Is There Any Hope for Women in Pakistan? |
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| bangachi1 |
| 11/21/04 at 23:18:59 |
| Thanks to those who came to the defense of our brothers. Brutality on women being an Islamic issue makes me sick. Worlwide women are tortured, raped, cheated on by animalistic husbands. Paid unfairly. Islam has given women the rights to be Prime Ministers, and heads of state. Women are not guilty of brutality on men....some cheat, lie, and use sexuality to seduce men for their selfish gains. Stop the slander of Islam....there are wicked all around...Inshallah Allah will prevent Shaytan's desire to make me one of them. |
| NS |
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