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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/27/04 at 02:39:09 |
| Toodles, My presence was requested at a Eid dinner at the humble abode of a dear friend of mine. The brothers congregated in the dining room and preceded to discuss extremely important matters about the world. The sisters were in another room discussing some meaningless rubbish, such as "do these shoes make me fat" and "is red in this season". Pitiful. Be that as it may, there happened to be some small children playing roughly near the sisters. As it so happens, one small child was injured just below the eye, after exchannging some punches with another child. The father of the child that was injured, happened to be the host, and "blew his top" (as we say in jolly old England, bahahahahaha"). He yelled at the top of his voice "Look after your children, look after your children!" He was very hot and bothered, and the rest of the guests were a bit apprehensive, including yours truly. He then went on to mention the child that hurt his child and said, why does this always happen. At this point the parents of the child felt insulted and left. The parents of some other children left as well, and another brother stayed as did I. I was eating my dinner at the time, and I didn't want it to get cold. Now then, fine people of the madina, what would you have done in such a situation and how would you have responded to the host. Jolly good wishes, English Bloke |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| theOriginal |
| 11/27/04 at 05:55:03 |
| [slm] Is this for real? :) If you're asking me, I would have stayed. Kids fight, I don't see why parents should get involved with such emotion. Granted, if the guy's kid always gets beat up, I guess I would be pretty "hot and bothered" too. So he blew up at the guests and they left? Did they leave because the guy is always hot and bothered? Or is it because they are overprotective parents raising a brat? Secondly, why did the other parents leave? That is so incredibly distasteful. (Unless the guy is always hot and bothered, in which case, props to them) As for eating your dinner while the fight was going on? Were you trying to pretend you couldn't hear/see the fight? Or do you just have a healthy appetite? I think that this post raises an even more pressing issue: red's in this season? :o Wasalaam. |
| 11/27/04 at 05:56:23 |
| theOriginal |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| Maliha |
| 11/27/04 at 09:21:10 |
| [quote author=JustOne link=board=madrasa;num=1101537549;start=0#1 date=11/27/04 at 05:55:03] [slm] I think that this post raises an even more pressing issue: red's in this season? :o Wasalaam. [/quote] [slm] For the record, Red is not in this season >:( It's Maroonish Mauve !!!! men, they obviously don't know anything ::) and everyone knows those flat shoes do make your feet look fat :P sigh...i love how some bros have no *clue* about the mysteries of sisterhood..its too cute ;) [wlm] |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| tq |
| 11/27/04 at 11:27:57 |
| Assalamo elikuim WOW! I personally believe that kids fights should stay among kids. No need to get parents involved(and also scream at children) unless it is dangerous( a kid choking another - which only happens in cartoon :) ) All kids fight/dont want to share a toy/play wrestling at point or another (yes even the well behaved kids :) ) I think you did right by staying out of it at that time (and ofcourse enjoying your dinner :) ). If you are very close to the brother *may be* later on when the brother is in a good mood you can mention it and *may be * advise him that even if the child who hurt his kid always do this there must be a nicer way to convey his message :). At our masjid during taraweehs they have room for kids to play. This ramadan after one taraweeh I went to pick my kids and when I opened the room I saw one sister screaming at my kids and two others. I dont know that sister very well but I have seen her many times at the masjid and she is Mashallah very much involved in the masjid. So obviously I thought that my *innocent kids*( dont all parents think that their kids are angel :)) must have done a big crime, so I just stayed at the door and didtn do anything (Actually my husband thinks since I am a "chicken at heart" thats why I didnt do anything :) I would like to know what other parents would have done in this situation? Later on when I asked my kids what happened, they told me that all of them were playing together and some older kids came and threw water on them and ran away and when they ran after them that is when the sister came and told them that this no way to behave at the masjid, throwing water at each other etc.) O yes thanks Sr.JustOne and Sr.Nur for the fashion in update, now I know why my feet look fat, time to change the shoes :) And I was always blaming my weight:) . Wasalam tq (who will not be looking like a "Clifford" now since red is out : ) |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| ummnajmah |
| 11/27/04 at 11:49:11 |
| [slm]I can just imagine how one would feel left on the table when some people have walked off ,and the tension ,not to mention the anger!. >:( Unfortunately, kids will be kids and sometimes the grown ups get involved to the point there is so much hostility. I don't know brother but the food wouldn't have gone down well with me .. We all have to work to make sure that our kids know how to behave when they are among company or not. Unfortunately, you may encounter another kid who has not been taught the same social skills and interaction, the result your poor kid may be the victim. In your case bro, I understand your host's anger, what if the other kid had really hurt his child's eye and not hit him under as was the case, it would have been tragic but his reaction was over the top. On a lighter note, when it comes to the sisters, you can't be serious all the time ;), you got to have some fun discussions sometime! Who can they converse with about the latest color and shoes at home with ::), I bet you wouldn't volunteer bro. :D [slm] |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| Anonymous |
| 12/01/04 at 00:39:01 |
| Toodles, The host of the party emailed me the other day and apologized for his inappropriate behavior and informed me he was sorry to have upset and embarassed some guests. He then told me he would be having a birthday party for his son, and he intends to invite all those that were in attendance at the last fiasco. Being the gentleman that I am and that I speak the Queen's English, I will address each and every one of the responses. [quote] Is this for real? [/quote] Does the sun not rise in the east and set in the west? Do birds fly? Is Manchester United not the best football team in all the land? Does thy mock me? As you yanks would say, "duh george". You roughian, of course it is for real, blimey! [quote] So he blew up at the guests and they left? [/quote] He yelled, but not at anyone specific. The parents of the guilty child knew who the culprit was based on how the father behaved, and not to mention the little child that was injured mentioned the boy that hit her. [quote] Did they leave because the guy is always hot and bothered? Or is it because they are overprotective parents raising a brat? [/quote] No and no! Come come woman, this is not 20 questions. [quote] Secondly, why did the other parents leave? That is so incredibly distasteful. [/quote] So you feel that the other couple (that didn't have a guilty child) shouldn't have left? How did you arrive at such a decision and have you received any formal training in dinner behavior? If you would be so kind as to give me the name of the school, so that I may have full confidence in your credentials. It should be noted that as one of the fathers left, he had tears in his eyes. I imagine that he was sad to see such behavior on such a joyous occasion such as Eid. Perhaps this was the reason he left? [quote] As for eating your dinner while the fight was going on? Were you trying to pretend you couldn't hear/see the fight? [/quote] Is this not the British way? How would you have responded? [quote] Or do you just have a healthy appetite? [/quote] Why must I choose? Can I not have a healthy appettie and pretend to not hear or see the fight? Have you not experienced the joy of tandoori chicken? [quote] sigh...i love how some bros have no *clue* about the mysteries of sisterhood..its too cute [/quote] Here is a clue. Buy two outfits, one black, one white, and a pair of joggers. Your fashion problems will be solved, as will your need for money. It was my pleasure to bestow such fantastic and magnificient information upon you. Please come again. [quote] I think you did right by staying out of it at that time (and ofcourse enjoying your dinner ). If you are very close to the brother *may be* later on when the brother is in a good mood you can mention it and *may be * advise him that even if the child who hurt his kid always do this there must be a nicer way to convey his message [/quote] So you would have behaved in a similiar manner? [quote] I don't know brother but the food wouldn't have gone down well with me [/quote] Drinking pepsi helped in the digestion of the food. [quote] you got to have some fun discussions sometime! Who can they converse with about the latest color and shoes at home with , I bet you wouldn't volunteer bro. [/quote] I'm afraid it sounds more like torture. Maybe someday women will finally understand. Jolly good wishes, English Bloke |
| Re: Dinner Ettiquette? |
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| jannah |
| 12/01/04 at 00:50:45 |
| [slm] You must be a fictional English character... Mr. Collins anyone ;P Kids will get in fights and do dumb things to get hurt, but parents have a right to want to protect their kids and be upset if something happens to them. The father has a right to be upset, some parents seriously completely let their kids go at other people's houses as if the general populace will just watch over them. Just look at how they totally ignore their kids at Taraweeh, letting them cry, scream, run up and down the stairs. I can't imagine how they are at someone else's house. Anyway perhaps the father should have been more diplomatic being host and all.. As for the other parents, they were good to make a quick exit. As for you.. no doubt the proper etiquette guide would advise you to continue sipping your soup as if nothing happenned... |
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