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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Want to move out? |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/27/04 at 02:40:37 |
| assalamu alaikum warahmatulaallah, i have been feel so down lately, i feel like i am trapped in society i dont belong to. the main problem lies in not being married, the fact i am not married does not bother me at all. but it bothers others, for example my parents, i know they want me to be happy, they want me to have my own family, their biggest worry is i may die alone and no will know. others are really cruel, for example i am not allowed to feel a certain way because i am not married. you are no spring chicken. sometimes their words hurt at other times i can just ignore it, because i feel like my life is alot better than theirs, even though i am not married. now all the people i knew in my age group are married, have at least two kids. i have none and because i am not married i have to stay with my family. i really feel to old for that, i want to move out, i know my parents will be hurt, but i really cant cope with living with them. is it bad to feel that way????? my parents are from a diffrent world they dont understand me at all, i dont feel comforatbale living with them, i feel like if i stay longer they will be hurt. i never expected to stay with them this long...my mother left her house when she was 16, she was the woman of her house from a very young age, so was independant alot younger than me but in my case i am old and i feel very old, but i am treated like a child, i cant cope with it anymore i am desperate to move out to get away is it bad to feel like that, i have just outgrown my parents home |
| Re: Want to move out? |
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| jannah |
| 11/27/04 at 13:03:58 |
| wlm, I would say just get married but I know how difficult that is...;) Definitely move out if you are feeling like that... you can try some things that won't be so upsetting to your parents like try transfering to a different school farther away in a different city, or applying for a masters program or look for a job far away, so then of course you can't miss the "opportunity" and will have to move away :) Also consider going overseas to study... Hope that helps |
| Re: Want to move out? |
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| sal |
| 11/29/04 at 03:10:02 |
| [slm]Marriage is not some thing we can do when we like and when we don’t .its not your fault not getting married unless you have lost some chances intentionally ( trying to chose a better husband always ),but this is not so clear so far and may be it didn’t happen ,so we can say this is a matter of luck hence you are not responsible for this ,then you don’t have to care for what is being said to you and by the way even if you were married you would still face some other kind of people hurting in different way. Its life ,so if you think marriage is the best solution for your problem I think it s not .so don’t feel sad you are missing this chance .After marriage you will go into another different world with all its bads and goods .things you do imagine in certain way will be different when you come into it in reality .there will be times you would wish if you were not married even for very minor things .Life is always like this and human being is always selfish or greedy in general .Don’t feel ashamed of not getting married and don’t be sad because you think marriage brings the rest of happiness you are lacking As for your parent ,and your feeling as a burden .this also is based on the reaction you are showing and may be the sad expression in your face . if they feel you are such a strong and satisfied with what you are but not bad to gain more progress be that marriage or another kind of role to play in your life, when the right time comes .this kind of hope and courage makes them feel you are a good guest .one thing we need to focus at is, parents may react in a way their kids feel they are fed up or don’t like them ,this is the way their character might be in particular but if we look generally at their patience till they can bring up and we become adults then think we are burden after all what they have done for us ? They may differ in the way they treat according to their wisdom and knowledge but they are common( most of them ) in their kind heart and love to their kids.This is where we feel if we are burden or not .Moving under this excuse might create a hatred but its not bad to move in a better occasion . |
| Re: Want to move out? |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/29/04 at 16:11:41 |
| i dont how i am suppose to reply thank you for the replys i just want to make it clear from my original post the issue for me is not to get married asap just to move out the problem is can i move out for the reason i have grown out of the family home. i had a very stresfull weekend, i really cant cope with pressures and the routine, plus depression i have tried for the past five years to get out through further education, but of no avail, i have not been offered anything, i am currently looking for another job outside, but to work outside my town, is not considered acceptable plz plz plz pray for i can study or get a job away from my family |
| Re: Want to move out? |
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| Caraj |
| 11/29/04 at 23:05:29 |
| Ok, this may sound weird but here goes. What ever happened to Blunt honesty??? I know we are suppose to respect and honor our parents. However what about truth. Mom!!! Dad!!!!! Are you tired of me being here so you want me to get married??? Mom and Dad says......of course not darling we just want you to be happy and not die alone. MOM!!!!!!! DAD!!!!!!! Ok I understand but I am not ready to get married, please stop pressuring me else I might think you want me out and hence I will get my own place. (End with big hugs and kisses......this always melts a parents heart, I know, this has been used against me, the hug and kiss and sweet voice putting me back in my place) To sum it up, Mom and Dad you are making me feel uncomfortable please stop. |
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